Adapt (12 page)

The living room of the family home was warm. The fire raged through the logs until a handful remained. Daniel could see through the net curtains that yet another dark day loomed, the drizzle tapping at the window and the wintery breeze whistled through a loose seal in the frame.

The six days that had passed since he left the ward were no different – windy, wet and grim. He was in shock for a few days. He couldn’t fathom how people in the medical profession could be working against him. A doctor and a group of nurses more disturbed than the patients. An apparent sadistic streak to rival any villain. The shock stayed with him, as did his villain. Doctor Cribson had the power to keep Daniel in his care. If Daniel informed authorities, the police would take Daniels statement. The next step for the police would be to speak with the psychiatrist and the nurses of the profession. Daniel’s statement wouldn’t stand up to theirs. The psychiatrist’s word against the patient’s. In telling anyone Daniel would be handing over power to Dr Cribson in a heartbeat.
At the moment my family will fight to keep me out of that place. That fight might be in vain if I don’t play cautious, and stay quiet for now.

The enemy stroked his beard. Sitting on the family sofa he stared back at the patient clearly still angry that Daniel had escaped the trap he’d been in. Dr Cribson looked as though he were plotting a new trap.
“I need you on the ward if I am to help you quickly,” said Dr Cribson. “Will you sign yourself back in for your own sake?”

Daniel rubbed his face, massaging his forehead hoping the persistent migraine may ease. “No,” he replied. “Last time was voluntary, and I was not allowed to leave.” Dr Cribson leaned forward. The fact he was shorter than Daniel didn’t foil his attempt to look down on the patient.

“Sign yourself in. I suggest that you do. It looks better for you than to be forced.”

“I’m not going back,” said Daniel.

“We will see about that,” the doctor said. “You interfered with your treatment plan, a plan that will commence. You can stall for time but we will cure you.”

Daniel continued to massage his head. His new symptoms helped the injuries sustained on the ward fade into the background. They had been progressively intensifying for the last four days. Pressure on his brain, difficulty breathing, cold sweats, shakes, numbness of the extremities and violent bouts of throwing up. Each day his body continued to weaken. Daniel tried to disguise his symptoms in front Dr Cribson, but the pain inside his skull was hard to ignore.

He had been taking the medication. The fact he was in shock meant that his reluctance wavered. His mind, determination and resistance were weakening with his body. Daniel wanted to stay entrenched within his home but he suspected the doctor would bring the fight into his living room, and that Dr Cribson may be the reason behind the collection of symptoms he was developing.

“Did you take the medication I delivered five days ago?” asked the doctor.

“Yes.”

Clarissa opened the living room door to see if the doctor was okay. “Mrs O’Neal,” said Dr Cribson, “could you show me what medication you have left for Daniel.”

“Okay,” she replied. Clarissa left the room and retrieved the medication from the kitchen. On her return she handed the strip of pills to the doctor. Dr Cribson’s chin dropped as he threw them to the floor. He raised his finger as well as his voice. He pointed at Clarissa.

“Why are these still here?” he said as his fists clenched. “I told you to make sure he took these the night I gave them to you.”

“He did take them,” explained Clarissa. “He had them that night. Those on the floor were delivered by Kerry Burger yesterday.” Clarissa was worried she had done something wrong; her priority was to help Daniel in any way she could. Dr Cribson picked up the pills he had not a moment ago discarded. He looked at Daniel. The relief on the doctor’s face morphed into a smug grin.

“Good,” said Dr Cribson. “Of course, look at your cheeks. I should have noticed they are so red.” The doctor leaned back, his elation was evident from his uncontrolled short burst of laughter. He contained himself when he saw Clarissa’s face. “We are going in the right direction. We will continue to work on your son. He should be sectioned and that may be unavoidable but we will finish the treatment plan to the end.”

“Getting Daniel better is our main priority,” said Clarissa.

“Indeed. With our help you won’t have a sick son.” The doctor smiled at Clarissa as she left the room.

What the hell have you given to me?
Daniel felt weak and was no doubt getting weaker. The man’s smirk, his laughter, it turned Daniel’s stomach. His hands began to shake.
What have you done, you sick fuck? Anyone that uses poison is a coward. A pathetic coward.

“So you have met my senior mental health nurse, Kerry Burger. She is most caring, wouldn’t you agree?”

Daniel’s eyes were glazed. His teeth clenched as he stared at his enemy.
What have you done?

“You look perplexed,” said Dr Cribson. “Your psychosis is still florid. It’s growing. It’s manifesting.”

Daniel eyed the pulse of the skinny man’s neck. He wanted to snap it.
What did you give me?

“I will be speaking with another doctor tomorrow. Your insight is severely lacking to the point you can’t answer simple questions,” the doctor said. “I will discuss the need to section you.”

“I’m not lacking in insight. I have all my faculties. What have you put in my body?”

“Medication, Daniel,” said the doctor. “Paranoia is growing despite the medication. Once again you display classic symptoms.
Do you think I’m trying to hurt you?” Daniel continued to stare at his enemy. His body was in pain, he was sick and the vice around his skull was tightening.
If I attack him I will be detained. Think. Do not respond. That is what he wants, he wants to make me a loose cannon. He wants me to lash out. It fits his blueprint. Don’t give him what he wants.

“There is evident blunting and guarding of effect. Paranoia is un-restrained,” said the doctor as he began to scribe notes. “You are delusional. A professional trying to hurt you. You believe this, don’t you?”

“No,” said Daniel biting his tongue.

“I represent authority and you believe I can’t be trusted for this reason. Do you think I am your enemy?” asked the doctor, his pen at the ready to document Daniel’s answer.

You are my enemy. You have hurt me and my family. You can’t be trusted.
“No.”

The doctor was annoyed with Daniel’s response. “Am I your enemy?” he asked again.

Daniel’s fists squeezed, his knuckles white. “No.”

“Very well, we will leave it there for today. Tomorrow you will see Kerry Burger. I know she was only here briefly yesterday.”

“Kerry Burger.”

“Yes, she is so caring,” he said with a sly smile.

Daniel entered the kitchen where his mother was preparing dinner. “I need to get away from these people,” he said.

“You can’t now,” she said.

“I need to. The same way I needed to leave the ward.”

“I understand why you wanted to leave, but you are under the care of Dr Cribson,” she said.

“He is sadistic.”

“He’s not sadistic,” she said.

“He had that ward set up for me. I need to get away from them,” said Daniel.

“You can’t.”

“Look, I had bruises when I woke up. The red mark on my
neck was not a result of the fight.” Daniel sat on the stool.

“Maybe you just don’t remember, it’s easy for things to happen in a fight,” she said.

“No one did that whilst I was awake.” His fists clenched, he was enraged just thinking about it.

“There’s not a lot we can do,” she said. “I don’t like them, hopefully they won’t be coming round for long.” Clarissa reached for a saucepan. She looked around at him and smiled. “Just hang in there for a few weeks then they will be gone.”

“Why did he act like that with the pills?” asked Daniel.

“I think he was hoping to get a reaction out of you. He was hoping to make you angry,” she said. “Maybe he could then get you back on the ward. They keep saying they want you back.”

“I know they do, they want to finish the job they started,” he said.

“Don’t be silly. They’re doctors.”

“There’s more to this. The fact I’m now so ill.”

“It’s stress,” she assured him.

“My body aches, I’m constantly sick. There’s more to this,” said Daniel.

“Doctors are not going to do what you are saying,” she said.

“These ones have,” he said. “They are manipulating everything I say to suit their agenda. I’m not taking any more pills unless they are on prescription.”

“We can ask them,” she said as she turned down the boiling saucepan.

“If they are on prescription I will take them. The only reason I took them is because I was in shock.” He held his stomach in pain. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he said.

Daniel ran to the bathroom, his head was spinning. He knelt over the toilet as the deep sick feeling worsened. His legs were weak, his arms were weak. His head felt as though a clamp was still tightening around it. He had never been so ill. Daniel threw up. Once. Twice. As he counted the ninth time his stomach eased. Wiping sweat away from his brow he got to his feet, light headed and unbalanced.

“Hello, Daniel,” said Kerry Burger. Daniel nodded, he felt ill and tried to stop his hands shaking. “Your cheeks are red, look at that.” Her lip twitched. The top lip lifted but only one side, flashing a canine. “They are radiating.” Her piecing stare locked on to him. “Innocent slip of the tongue. They are radiant. Wonderful. How do you feel?”
You know how I’m feeling. You caused it.
“How are you feeling?” she asked again. Daniel didn’t answer. “Dr Cribson did mention you were perplexed.” She began her note taking.

“I’m surviving,” he said.

“For now Daniel. For now. You should be on the ward, the treatment would be quick,” she said. Daniel stared at her. “You look ill, Daniel, your eyes are black underneath. Home is not the place for you to recover.”

“I’m not going back. You will have to drag me back.”

“If needed,” she said. Her lip twitched again. He stared back at her round face. She had a large double chin and long grey hair down her back. “We will give you the treatment you deserve.”

“I’m not going back,” he said.

“We will see. We didn’t do it the quick way. We will end it for you the slow way. I’m going to ask you some questions. Were you a bully as a child?”

“No.”

“You hesitated. Are you sure? I think you were.”

“I wasn’t,” he said.

“Do you deny who you are to yourself as well as others?” Daniel’s hands were shaking.
What can I do, they manipulate what I say, if I shout or argue my point they say I will be sectioned.

“I will be back in a moment,” he said as he left the room for two minutes. Daniel returned and took his seat in front of the nurse.

“Are you being sick?” Her mouth was once again twitching.
Flashing her teeth like a Pit Bull again.
A silent growl.

“No,” he said.

“Do you feel ill? You look ill. You look sick.”

“I’m fine.”

“Do you watch any television?”

“No,” he replied.

“Why not?” she asked.

“It doesn’t interest me. There’s not much on that I like,” he said.

“Not your viewing material,” she said. “I know what your viewing material is.”

“No you don’t,” he said.

“You should watch it. Watch it,” she insisted.

“No.”
I won’t give her the satisfaction.

“Dr Cribson will be interested to know you’re still hallucinating. The TV is an issue.”

“I never said that,” responded Daniel.

“Does the television still give you orders?”

“I’m not even going to answer that,” he said.

“Good,” she said whilst note taking. “Not denying it. It means it is.”

“It doesn’t, okay?”

“Are you raising your voice, Daniel? I may need to call for help if you’re going to get aggressive,” she warned him.

“Leave me alone,” he said.

“I’m not touching you,” she said. “Is that another hallucination? You’re sick, Daniel, very sick. You need to be back on the ward.” Daniel put his head in his hands.