Adam's List (30 page)

“No, I drove it thousands of miles to deliver an important message for a good
friend
.

It’s like you said that night the three of us fell asleep in my backyard. Some people come into your life when you least expect it, sometimes for reasons we’ll never understand. As much as I’d like to think you and I met because we were going to be a
thing
, it seems I had a bigger purpose to serve.”

Tears brim my eyes when I squeeze his hands. “If Adam and I ever get back on our feet and survive this thing together, we’re totally coming out to thank you for everything you’ve done. And we fully expect another backyard party while we’re there. Maybe this time you could invite your pals Jay and Beyoncé.”

Theo laughs merrily. And for the first time since we tricked Adam into coming back to Wisconsin, I’m hopeful that everything may be okay.

My dad’s the one who caves into giving me my cell phone back when I say I’m not sure of where I’m going in Rochester and hope I don’t get lost. He makes me promise not to tell Mom, but I think she’s already agreed to restore all my privileges after Theo’s visit. There’s a string of complaisant texts and missed calls from Adam, the last voicemail message telling me his building and room number. His voice is rather tranquil for someone about to undergo a major surgery he was once dead set against.

As I near his room, my pulse races. I stop to lean against a wall across the hallway, catching my breath. I must’ve restyled my hair half a dozen times and changed my clothes at least a hundred. I settled on wearing my hair down in loose curls with the pink dress I wore the night we had sex on the bus, remembering how much his eyes came to life when he first saw me.

It’s only been a few days since we returned from New York, but the hours stretching between the days feel like a lifetime. Whatever happens between us today, I’m glad he’s agreed to the surgery and I’m glad he’s asked me to come see him. It should be enough, but deep down I know it isn’t. I want him to declare that he’s still in love with me and wants us to be together once he’s back to normal, or as normal as he can ever be with his serious condition.

I run my fingertips across the star tattoo, remembering the hot night in the taxi after we got our matching ink, and the way Adam looked at me. Even if he’s still upset by what I did, there must be something between us he sees worth saving.

A high, piercing giggle catches my attention. I peer into the room where I’m to meet Adam just as he embraces a skinny girl with long, dark hair, holding her tightly the way he’s held me many times. They draw apart and he leans down to kiss her forehead, his eyes closed. I watch them, slack jawed.

Adam doesn’t have a sister.

Maybe it’s a cousin. Or a really flirty nurse.

They exchange a few more words and gleaming smiles before the girl spins to her side, squeezing Adam’s arm playfully. I immediately recognize her from her Facebook profile.

It’s Cora Stone, Zach’s sister.

I scamper away before they catch me watching.

SIXTEEN

Sitting at a table in the middle of the quiet hospital cafeteria, I flip through the various texts from Adam asking if I’m lost, if I need directions, and finally if I’m okay. I’m definitely lost, and directions wouldn’t do me any good. And I’m certainly nothing close to okay. It’s been half an hour since I was to meet him in his room, since I saw him embracing the girl who sounded so heartbroken on the phone as she pleaded me to bring him home.

Someone calls my name. I look up to see the stunning, long-haired brunette who was waiting at my home alongside Adam’s dad the night we returned.

It’s easy to see how Adam got his crazy good looks when I gaze back at his mom, taking in her regal stature and kind blue eyes. She wears loose fitting black pants and a long-sleeved black cardigan, as if she’s too frail to endure the air conditioning, or just too classy to wear shorts and a t-shirt. The diamonds in her ears look to be at least two carats each, sagging slightly on her lobes. When she smiles at me, the deep creases around her eyes make her appear at least a decade older than my parents.

“What are you doing out here all alone? Did you and Adam—”

“No,” I interrupt, standing. “I just needed a minute before I went in to see him.”

She closes the distance between us and surprises me by leaning in for an awkward hug. Stunned, I set my hands on her back. She smells like a giant floral shop without a window and feels incredibly delicate underneath my hold.

“I didn’t get a chance to talk to you the other night. I want to thank you for bringing Adam back to us. I know it wasn’t easy, but you did the right thing.” She draws back, taking my hands in hers. The huge diamond on her ring finger spins around, pinching my fingers. “You have to understand his father and I...we tried everything we could.

Adam shut us out. We never thought he’d take it as far as he did. We figured he’d come to his senses once he realized his life depended on this surgery. Whatever you said to him, it was the only thing that convinced him that going through with the surgery was his chance at another life. No one else was able to do that to him, not his father, or myself, or even Cora.”

I want to smile back, but Cora’s name sends my stomach into a series of dips and menacing dives. “I never did ask her...is Cora Zach’s sister?”

“Yes, she is. Thank God for Facebook or you may never have found us and my son probably would be dying in some New York alley by now.”

“I wouldn’t have let it go that far,” I insist quickly, shaking my head.

“I know you wouldn’t, dear. Adam has nothing but sweet things to say about you.”

If he’s still casting me in a positive light, maybe I overreacted when I saw him with Cora. Maybe she’s like a little sister, nothing more.

She squeezes my hands again. “Do you want me to show you to Adam’s room? I was just on my way to see that Cora settled in her room, but I can make a pit stop with you.”

I frown, feeling like I’m going to be sick. “Cora’s room?”

“No one told you?” The smile on Mrs. Murphy’s face grows. “Cora’s Adam’s donor.

She’s giving him one of her kidneys.”

Hole. E. Shit.

So maybe I didn’t overreact.

Cora’s giving him a part of her
body
.
I remember the sound of her voice on the phone, laden with the kind of affection that can’t be denied. Begging me the desperate way I’d beg someone to save Adam if it came down to that.

I feel the blood drain from my face.

“Jewels, are you okay, sweetheart? You don’t look so well. Do you need to sit down?”

“I’m fine,” I lie, standing.

What I saw in that room...it could’ve been a girl with a crush and a man with a thankful heart. Or it could’ve been something more, and Theo could’ve misinterpreted Adam’s directions for me to return the truck.

“Let me buy you a water before we swing by Adam’s room. He’s eager to see you again.”

Although the thought of putting anything into my stomach doesn’t seem like a good idea, I let her do it. Because she seems dedicated to make things right with the girl who convinced her son to accept the life-saving surgery, even though I’m not the one who’s going to save his life.

The minute I step into Adam’s room at his mom’s side, his eyes fill with light and his adorable dimples pop. Aside from that, he looks tough. Seeing him wearing the hospital gown, sitting in the mechanical bed somehow makes him look smaller, like a child rather than a man. I guess once you strip a man of their style and masculinity, they all tend to look vulnerable. I mean we’re all subject to harm, so it shouldn’t be such a shock. Still, it throws me for a loop to see the guy I’ve been so intimate with so many times looking so beat down.

I’m so jilted by his looks that I hardly notice the smartly dressed guy in khaki shorts and designer button-down standing beside the bed. With his broad shoulders, square face, and sharp cheekbones, no introduction is necessary. Other than his lighter brown hair, Adam and his brother are nearly clones of each other.

“Look who I found,” his mom declares brightly, setting her hands on my shoulders.

“Mom, you shouldn’t have,” Erik tells her, his blue eyes lighting up. When he smirks, a dimple like Adam’s appears on one side. “My birthday is still
months
away.”

“Don’t be
rude.”
Their mom gives him a tight smile before looking back to Adam. “I’m going to check on Cora. I’ll stop back in a little while to see if you kids need anything.”

She points at Erik. “Come along and give these two some privacy, sweetheart.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Adam tells her before she disappears from the room. He throws a bright smile my way. “Hey. I’m glad you’re here.”

Erik’s eyes bulge as he gives me a once over that’s so incredibly awkward considering he’s my boyfriend’s little brother. “
You’re
the new girlfriend?” He nudges Adam with a barking laugh. “Holy shit! Talk about a score! I didn’t think you had it in you, bro,
especially
being so close to death and all!
Damn
!”

“Wow,” I tell him with a plastic smile. “You’re just as
charming
as I imagined you’d be.”

Adam glares at his brother. “Time for you to leave.”

“Jesus! Alright!” Erik throws his hands up at his sides. “I’ll get out of here before your hot girlfriend discovers who’s the
real
man in this family.” He starts toward me, his dimple flaring. “I’ll still be around if the two of you don’t work out.” He throws me a cringe-worthy wink.

I wink back as he passes me for the doorway. “And I’m going to pretend you didn’t really just say that.”

Once he’s gone, Adam rubs at his neck. “God, I’m sorry. He flew in this morning. I don’t even know why he bothered coming.”

“You really weren’t kidding about him. I don’t think the two of you could be any more different.” I continue to stand in the doorway, unmoving.

“Jewels, I’ve been trying to call you ever since I got here with my parents.”

“I didn’t have my phone.” I offer a stiff smile. “Turns out there’s no age cap on when a person’s parents can ground them.”

“I wanted to apologize. I should’ve told you I was sick the day you told me about Jason. You’d been through enough already. ” He tips his head back with an exasperated sigh. “Would you
please
come over here?”

I take small, tentative steps toward him, although not close enough for us to touch.

“I’ve been going crazy thinking about what you said to me in New York. You’re right, it wasn’t fair of me to tell you that I love you, and then say in the next breath that I was giving up. Theo called to tell me the hell I put you through the past couple of weeks. It was wrong to force you to go along with my decision not to have the surgery. I don’t know how to start telling you how sorry I am...for all of it. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to make things right between us. I’ll understand if it will take time for you to trust me again. I just don’t want to lose you. I’m not going to give up on us.” He pauses for a few moments, running a hand through his hair. “Say something.
Anything
. Tell me I finally deserve to call myself an asshole.”

Unsmiling, I fold my arm against my stomach. As heartfelt as his apology sounds, there’s still something he kept from me. “Who’s Cora?”

He flinches with my words. “My mom told you?”

“She told me she’s your donor. I already knew she’s Zach’s sister. Dead friend’s little sisters don’t go through a potentially lethal surgery for nothing. What is she to you?”

“Remember when you asked about my past girlfriends and I told you I had one for a few months?” When I nod, he closes his eyes. “That was Cora. We...bonded after Zach died. Things started to get a little intense. She wanted things I couldn’t give her. She eventually broke it off when I refused to accept her kidney.”

I know I can’t be mad that he’s accepting a kidney from an old girlfriend, especially when I’m the one who forced him into the surgery to begin with, but
really
?

Fresh tears prick my eyes. “How could I ever compete with someone who gave you a freaking
organ
? Do you still love her?”

“In a way, yeah, I do. She’s my best friend’s sister. We went through a lot together, and now she’s giving me a ‘freaking organ’. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to repay her, even if I live to be an old man.” His impossibly serious gaze burns through me, penetrating right down to my soul that aches to return to him. “Do I love her in the way that I want to kiss her, and make love to her, and see the world with her, spending endless nights at her side in whatever life I may have left?
No
. I have someone else in mind for that role.”

“Anyone I know?” I ask, crossing my arms. I tilt my head back and sigh. “Adam, come on. It’s a
body part
.”

He reaches out to gather me in his arms and pulls me back onto the bed with him, laughing. Pinning me down on the mattress, he kisses me. At first his lips are light and playful, but they quickly turn eager and meaningful. He breathes heavily through his nose, gripping the sides of my face as if I’m his life preserver while his tongue and lips work on making their mark, claiming me.

I wrap my hands in his hair, finally feeling at peace. At
home
. His health problems will never go away, but they’ll just be a part of what defines the strength of our relationship. Because no matter what will happen next, I’ll never let him go. And with the urgency he’s using to kiss me back, I get the feeling he feels the same. The seal of our lips breaks free, and his lips cover my cheeks, my eyes, the spot beneath my ear.

“Maybe someday if I survive this and my body will allow for it, you can carry my baby,” he whispers. “There’s no competition for that.”

“Whoa, big guy.” I push on his chest. “We’re both homeless. We need to figure out some kind of life plan before we bring offspring into the picture.” I kiss him again, reaching for the slit in the back of his gown. “We’ve got more pressing matters at hand, like whether or not we should add a hospital bed to our
growing
list. Pun most definitely intended.”