Acting Out (9 page)

“Climb in!” yelled Jerry. He was Pine Haven's hiking guide, and he'd driven the white truck we had to ride in. We all piled into the back and sat on the benches that lined the sides and the back of the truck.

“So, are you going to tell me about it?” whispered Courtney.

“I will, but not now,” I said. At least Brandon hadn't called me Judith. Maybe he didn't remember my name. I was only Justin's kid sister to him.

The truck rumbled down the road, and everyone laughed when we passed under the Camp Crockett sign, because there was pink underwear hanging all over it. I could pull off being JD at camp, but when camp was over, then what?

There were times when it felt like I'd always been JD. Sometimes I completely forgot about my old life as Judith. Until it would come sneaking up on me, like Brandon Matheson.
Don't I know you?

No, Brandon, you
don't
know me. And Courtney, Lauren, Mei—they don't know me either. How could they know me?

They don't even know my name.

“So how would you rate him, on a scale of one to ten?” asked Mei.

“Oh, I'd say about a seven,” I said. I kicked with my feet under water so I wouldn't splash everyone around me.

“A seven? Is that all?” Courtney asked, swimming up beside me. Out of everyone in the class, she was the one who was most able to keep up with me. But when we swam laps, I didn't go fast. It was more fun for all of us to stay in a group and talk.

“Okay, an eight, then,” I said. “Wait up for Lauren, you guys.” We all slowed down so Lauren could catch up to us.

“Don't let me hold everyone else up!” Lauren snapped at us when she got closer. We all felt bad that she had such a hard time. She tried her best, but it was always a struggle.

“JD, admit it. Nothing happened between you and that guy,” said Claudia. “I bet he didn't lay a hand on you. Or a lip!”

The whole class cracked up over Claudia's lip remark. She obviously saw through me, more than anyone else. I hadn't exactly lied about what happened when Lance and I got caught by the Porch Patrol on Saturday night. Everyone had just assumed we'd been kissing. Of course, saying “I don't kiss and tell” whenever anyone asked me about what happened probably had a little something to do with it.

“Okay, whatever. Believe what you want to believe,” I told the others. “Maybe Lance and I weren't kissing when those two CATs caught us. And maybe his breath didn't smell like Skittles.”

“Like Skittles? His breath smelled like Skittles?” asked Shelby, pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

“Yeah, but I didn't mind,” I said. “He did have a pucker like a fish, though.” Now everyone was laughing over my remark. Poor Lance. He really was a nice guy, and I didn't plan on making fun of him. I was just trying to think of something funny to say. Good thing he'd never know I'd said that about him.

“Only JD would be crazy enough to get caught by the Porch Patrol,” said Courtney.

“Yeah! I couldn't believe the way you walked over and started talking to all those guys. You definitely have a way with boys, JD,” Mei said, paddling beside me.

“What's all the discussion about?” yelled Alex as we swam up close to the dock. “Everyone out on the side. We're going to work on reaching and throwing assists today.”

Alex told Claudia to jump in and show signs of distress. Then she demonstrated how to do a reaching assist by lying on our stomachs on the dock and reaching out with an arm, and then holding on to a rung of the ladder and reaching out with a leg. Next she threw a ring buoy out to Claudia and pulled her in.

“Okay, now I want you guys to try it in pairs. Claudia, out of the water. Courtney, you jump in and Claudia will do both a reach and a pull assist with you.”

The rest of us sat on the edge of the dock to watch the exercise.

“You guys want to know something?” whispered Mei, hugging her towel around her shoulders. “I've never been kissed. Pathetic, huh?”

“No, it's not!” I said. “Look, it's really no big deal. It's not like I saw fireworks or anything.” I dangled my feet over the edge of the dock, my toes touching the water. I watched a few little tadpoles dart up to the dock and then swim away.

“Well, I haven't really been either,” Lauren confessed. The sunlight made her squint, so she kept her hand in front of her eyes. “Except for Will Thurmond. He kissed me on the playground when we were in second grade. But I'm not sure that really counts. It was on the cheek.”

“Sure it counts,” I told her. “If you want it to.”

“Ugh!” she groaned. “If Will Thurmond counts as my first kiss, I'm even more pathetic than you are, Mei. He was always having nosebleeds!”

“This guy kissed me at my school's fall festival last year,” said Shelby. “We were in the haunted house. I was
so
not expecting it. We'd just stuck our hands in bowls of Jell-O and spaghetti, and then all of a sudden—smack!”

We were all laughing, but I felt sort of bad. It was fun getting so much attention for being caught by the Porch Patrol. That part had gone exactly the way I'd hoped it would. And now my reputation as a rule breaker was really growing. But if my friends were going to get a complex over it, I wasn't sure it was worth it. I didn't want Lauren and Mei to think something was wrong with them because they'd never been kissed.

Because I hadn't either. I hadn't even had a peck on the cheek by a second-grade nosebleeder. Last year I'd been shooting hoops with some boys during recess. I was guarding Jacob Zinner when I noticed that
his
breath smelled like Skittles, and for a second I'd wondered what it would be like to kiss him.
That
was the closest I'd ever come to being kissed. Just thinking about it.

“Good job!” yelled Alex from the water. “Okay, now let's have Mei and Lauren.”

Lauren and Mei took a turn while Claudia and Courtney came over and sat down. “What were you guys laughing about?” asked Courtney, dripping all over us.

“Oh, nothing,” I said. I wanted to get off the subject of Lance and kissing for a while. Shelby and I scooted over to make room for them to sit down beside us.

“Oh, JD—I almost forgot to tell you. Yesterday during rest hour, Michelle was writing mommy letters,” said Courtney, wrapping herself up in her towel.

“So?” I asked. Michelle had asked us all about our favorite activities so she could write the weekly letter home to our parents, telling them how we were doing.

“So—what if she tells your parents you got caught by the Porch Patrol?”

Claudia shook her head. “Nah, she wouldn't do that. Eda doesn't want the counselors to say anything bad about us to our parents, unless there's some real problem.” She looked at her watch. “Fifteen more minutes.” Claudia was always counting down the minutes till class was over, like she had someplace better to be.

“Anyway, it wouldn't surprise my parents that I'd gotten in trouble,” I said. “You know what I always say—rules were made to be broken.”

But Courtney had me worried about something. I had to remember to tell Michelle to call me Judith in the letter home to my parents. If she wrote something like
JD is working very hard in her Guard Start class,
they wouldn't know who she was talking about. And I'd have to find a time to tell her when nobody else was around.

Also, mentioning the letter home to my parents made me feel guilty. I'd barely thought about my family for days. I was so completely caught up in my camp life.

It seemed like I had always woken up to the sound of a big bell being rung and the feel of cool mountain air drifting in through the window screens. Every morning we cleaned the cabin, ate breakfast, and went to activities. Then it was lunchtime, rest hour, and more activities. Then dinner, evening program in Middler Lodge, and bed. I loved the pattern of every day. It was like a school schedule, only everything centered around fun instead of work. It seemed like I'd swum in this lake hundreds of times, and I'd sat on this dock and gazed at these mountains my whole life. It was amazing how easy it was to put my family and my old life out of my mind.

Shelby and Courtney cheered for Lauren and Mei while they did the exercise. Lauren splashed water at us. She seemed to think it was a pity remark when we told her she did a good job at something. The truth was, she was really good at doing the service hours and helping out with swim lessons. And she was always the first to finish the workbook exercises we had to do. It was only the swimming part she had trouble with.

“What's up with you? You look so serious all of a sudden,” said Courtney, shading her face with her hand while she stared at me.

If I went more than five minutes without cracking a joke, everyone looked at me and asked me what was wrong. It was just what I'd always worried about—that I'd run out of funny things to say and then everyone would find out the truth. There were times when I wanted to yell, “I'm sick of this!” and go back to being Judith.

“Why'd you have to mention the mommy letters?” I asked her. “I miss my mommy.” At least now that I'd thought about her for the first time in days, I missed her. “Don't you miss your mommy?”

“Of course,” Courtney said.

“I miss my mommy, oh yes, I do, I miss my mommy, and I'll be true!” I started singing to the tune of one of the camp songs. “When she's not with me, I'm blue, I'm blue-hoo,” I sang in a really deep voice, “oh, Mommy, I miss you!”

“Keep it down before Alex hears you,” Claudia told me.

“Good idea,” said Courtney, giving me a look and jerking her head to the side.

“What? Don't you like my singing?” I wailed. “Is there anything wrong with being a loving daughter singing a song to my mother? Huh? You got a problem wit' dat?” I shook my fists at the rest of them. But they were all acting like I'd just cursed my mother's good name or something. Shelby stared out at the lake. Claudia and Courtney both glared at me. For some reason, nobody liked my joke.

“Huh! What's wrong with this crowd?” I went on. “I happen to love my mother. Ouch!” Courtney had poked me in the ribs as hard as she could. “What? You don't love your mother?” I asked her.

“JD, shut up,” Claudia warned. “Your joke's not funny, so drop it. I can't believe Alex hasn't heard you yet.” She glanced at her watch again.

“Shelby, don't you miss your mommy?” I asked.

Shelby stared at the lake and didn't move a muscle. It seemed like Claudia and Courtney were frozen too. Why was everyone being so quiet all of a sudden?

Then Shelby looked at me for the first time since I'd started the mommy joke. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Yeah, I do miss my mom. A lot.” Then she slid off the end of the dock into the water.

Alex looked up to see what was going on. “Shelby! Out of the water till it's your turn!” she yelled.

“Sorry, I slipped,” Shelby called, bobbing to the surface.

Claudia and Courtney both grabbed me at the same time. “You idiot! Don't you know Shelby's mother is dead?” hissed Claudia.

“Boy, JD! How many signals do I have to give you?” whispered Courtney. “I kept trying to shut you up!”

“Oh,” I said.

“I told you to drop it,” Claudia went on. “But you just kept going. You really know how to run a joke into the ground.”

Shelby was taking her time climbing up the ladder. When she came out, she stood dripping on the end of the dock with her back to us and her arms crossed.

“I didn't know,” I whispered to them. We all stared at Mei and Lauren as they finished their exercise with Alex. None of us said anything else. Shelby didn't move.

I sat there with my feet hanging off the edge of the dock, feeling like the biggest jerk in the world. Of course I'd heard their signals. I knew they were trying to shut me up; I just didn't know why. But I kept going. Sometimes when I could tell my jokes weren't funny, I'd get louder instead of letting it drop. Judith was never loud and obnoxious. And she'd never hurt anyone's feelings, either.

Finally Alex made Mei and Lauren get out, and it was Shelby's and my turn. Shelby jumped in, and when she came up, she still wouldn't look at me. I lay down on the dock and reached out to her with my arm first. Shelby swam up and took it quickly.

“Not so fast! Remember—you're in distress and the lifeguard has to help you out,” said Alex.

Then I climbed partway down the ladder and offered her my leg. When she was almost up to me, I slid down into the water beside her.

Alex blew her whistle. “No! Stay on the ladder! This is a reaching assist from the side of the pool. Or in this case, a dock.”

“Sorry, I slipped!” Then I whispered, “Shelby, I'm sorry.” She nodded, but she wouldn't look at me.

Next she swam away from the dock and showed signs of distress, and I had to throw the ring buoy out to her. She grabbed it and I pulled her in.