Acting Out (6 page)

“Why? What's wrong with your ears?” I asked.

“They stick out.”

“They do not!” Courtney said.

“Yeah, they do. That's why I always wear my hair down. To cover them up.”

Katherine came banging through the door and glanced at all of us hanging out on Side A. Then she went to her side of the cabin without speaking to anyone.

“Uh, Katherine, want to join us?” called Amber, who never wanted anyone to feel left out.

“NO!” she bellowed from across the cabin. We all looked at each other and smiled. We didn't exactly feel deprived of her company.

Isabel and I were the only ones who hadn't said anything yet. If I had to list all the things I didn't like about myself, it would take all week. I didn't like being the size of a linebacker around all these girls who were so petite that a strong breeze would blow them away. I'd recently been reminded of how bushy my eyebrows were and how disgusting my fingernails looked most of the time. Plus my entire wardrobe looked like I was stuck in PE class, 24/7. All I ever wore were basketball shorts and T-shirts in assorted colors. It would take me a lot less time to tell what I
did
like about myself.

But what I hated most about myself was the one thing I couldn't mention—my boring personality. What if right now I told everyone that all week long I'd been putting on an act? It would be the perfect time to do it.

“I hate all my freckles,” said Isabel softly. “And of course I'm not good at anything. And I'm short.”

“Well, I hate being tall!” I declared, jumping off Courtney's bottom bunk. I banged my head against the springs of my top bunk, and everyone burst out laughing. That was the second time I'd been funny without trying to be. I pulled my blanket off my bunk and wrapped it around my head like a shawl.

“The only thing I could model would be next year's tents. I have a great career ahead of me as a plus-size model.” I strutted around between the bunks with the blanket over my head, like I was on the runway. “The paparazzi will tell me to say ‘Moo' before they take
my
picture!”

Everyone was laughing but Courtney. “JD, you are not fat!” she insisted.

True, I wasn't fat. Mom always called Justin and Adam her “big, strapping boys.” She never called me strapping, but that's what I was. We all had the same genes.

“No, I'm not fat. I'm strapping! I could play tackle football just like my brothers, and I wouldn't even need shoulder pads.” It was a little embarrassing to admit how much I hated my size, but at least I was getting noticed. Judith would've sat beside Isabel like a lump and never would've said a word. At least as JD, I got laughs.

The door banged open and Michelle and Meredith walked in. “Hey. What are you guys up to?” Michelle asked.

“Has it stopped raining?” asked Lauren, because they looked pretty dry.

“Yep. Finally,” Meredith said. “We were stuck in Senior Lodge. We just saw an awesome mud fight.”

Michelle looked at me with the blanket around my head. “Are you cold?”

“We were naming all the things we don't like about ourselves,” explained Amber.

“My thighs,” said Michelle, without missing a beat. Then she frowned at all of us. “Wait a second. What kind of conversation is this?”

“Well, Lauren thinks I'm a cow, and Mei thinks Courtney's ears are too Caucasian. Isabel said Amber's breath smelled like a horse, and Amber said we all needed plastic surgery.” I was pointing fingers at everyone and talking really fast. I hoped everyone would laugh. Luckily, they did. Courtney hit me with her pillow.

Michelle plopped down on her bunk and folded her legs up. Meredith sat on the end of her bed. “Oh, if only you cuties could see yourselves the way I see you! Instead of dissing each other . . .”

“We weren't! We were dissing ourselves,” Amber corrected.

Michelle nodded. “Whatever. Instead of dissing anyone, let's all go around and tell each person what we like most about her.”

Lauren fell backward on the bunk. “That's corny. Let's not.”

“No, we should! I think it's a great idea,” said Amber.

“Me too,” I said. “I'll start with Amber.” I turned to face her. “You are so sweet, and I can tell you're a great person to have as a friend.” I felt bad for thinking that Amber would've been a good friend for boring Judith, but JD should hang with Courtney instead. Now the two of us were always together with Lauren and Mei. I wondered if Amber felt left out. “Plus, I think your nose looks mahvelous,” I added, because I felt the pressure to keep it funny.

Then everyone else said nice things about Amber. She was an easy one to do. She always had a good attitude about everything. She just went to her riding lessons and wrote poetry during rest hour. Then we picked Courtney, and everyone mostly complimented her on her looks, obviously, but I told her I liked how she was always saying nice things to other people. “And your cheeks look mahvelous,” I assured her.

What I wanted to do was hug Courtney and thank her for picking me, Judith Duckworth, to be her friend. Before camp, I never would've thought I could have a bff like Courtney. Sometimes I wondered why she liked me, but then I'd remember. She liked JD. She didn't even know Judith.

Michelle said she liked Mei for her spunk, and I said I liked how she always did the right thing. What I meant was, I thought it was great how she always stood up for Isabel when Katherine was mean to her, but of course I couldn't say it that way.

“You're really good at keeping the peace,” said Mei to Meredith, even though she'd missed most of the conversation.

Meredith had a funny way of putting her hands on her hips and saying, “This is not a crisis” any time anyone got upset or mad. Mei was good at sticking up for Isabel against Katherine, but Meredith kept things from getting out of hand in the first place.

Lauren got embarrassed when it was her turn. People mentioned her oh-so-blond hair and limber dancer's body. Amber grinned at me and said, “I think Lauren's voice sounds mahvelous.”

“Oh, snap! Now what do I say?” I wailed. “Lauren, out of the whole Guard Start class, you try harder than anyone.” She rolled her eyes and looked out the window. “I mean, I like how dedicated you are to the class. I could learn something from you.” This morning Lauren had been the last one to finish her laps. She'd gotten mad at us all for clapping when she finally made it to the end of the dock.

When it was Isabel's turn, everyone said nice things about her personality, which made me mad. Did they have to be so obvious? Courtney had gotten so many compliments about her looks, and now they were going on and on about Isabel's personality. Why didn't they just put a bag over her head? “Isabel, you have beautiful eyes and a great smile,” I said. She looked at me and grinned.

“I have a lot of respect for Isabel. She really has a desire to succeed,” said Michelle, smiling. We all admired the way Isabel worked so hard at learning to swim.

“Now it's your turn,” Amber said, pointing at me. “You are the funniest person I've ever met in my entire life.” Everyone else agreed, so I felt like a million bucks.

Little did they know I wasn't really funny, at least not naturally funny. All week I'd worried about running out of jokes. How long could I keep this up? Every single time there was a pause in the conversation, I'd think, “Say something funny now,” and I was always afraid I'd draw a blank.

“You have a great personality,” said Isabel, so softly I could barely hear her.

“Thanks!” But should I take credit for a good personality that wasn't even mine? I'd given up trying to act like Chloe; I couldn't do it. JD was a lot louder and more obnoxious than Chloe and not so quick and clever with the comebacks. But my new personality was warmer and fuzzier than Chloe's, more like a big teddy bear. Chloe had a way of cutting people down to get laughs. It seemed like I mostly made fun of myself.

“And you're a great athlete. So stop calling yourself a linebacker. I wish I had half your strength and endurance,” said Lauren, looking at her fingernails the whole time.

Michelle grinned at me. “What I like most about JD is her sensitivity.”

I had no idea what that meant, but I liked the way it sounded.

Camp was so much fun. It was hard to believe we'd only been together for a week. It seemed longer. Being around a bunch of girls was a lot different from my life back home with a house full of boys. Maybe this was what it felt like to have sisters.

“I have absolutely nothing to wear tonight,” I said, looking at the pile of clothes I'd pulled out of my trunk. It was such a girl thing to say, but it was true. Luckily, my brothers weren't around to hear me or they'd never stop teasing me.

“Maybe you can borrow something of mine,” offered Amber. She'd just come back from the showers, and she was still wrapped up in a towel.

“Are you a size nine?” I asked.

“Uh, I wear mostly five.” She shrugged and smiled at me hopefully.

“Thanks anyway,” I told her.

“I'm glad we did our nails yesterday,” said Courtney. “One less thing to worry about today.”

We were one hour away from having a dance with the boys from Camp Crockett. Everyone in the cabin was rushing around getting ready.

“Should I wear my hair down?” asked Lauren as she brushed her hair in front of the little mirror on the wall. All week I'd never seen her without her blond ponytail.

“I think you should,” Courtney said, squeezing next to her to look in the mirror while she put on some mascara. “And I can't wait to see you dance tonight.”

“Oh, please. I bet none of those guys can move at all,” snorted Lauren. She had shown us some dance moves this morning when we first heard there might be a dance tonight. She was an awesome dancer. “I've been taking lessons since I was four,” she'd told us with a little smile.

“Well, I'm ready,” Mei announced, coming over to Side A. She had on a pink skirt and a white shirt, and she looked adorable. “Think these guys will actually dance with us?” she asked, trying out some of the steps Lauren had shown us. “Or will they stand around and ignore us?”

“They'll ignore us. They're all jerks,” we heard Katherine say from Side B.

“Way to look on the bright side, Katherine,” said Mei over her shoulder.

“I always get nervous before dances. I'm not good at talking to boys,” Amber admitted.

I slammed my trunk shut. “Why would you be nervous talking to boys? Boys are . . .” I tried to think of the right words. “Boys are like dogs. They're smelly and playful and they scratch themselves a lot.”

“Omigosh, JD!” gasped Amber. “You always crack me up. ‘Boys Are Like Dogs.' That would make a great title.” She grabbed a spiral notebook from beside her bed and jotted something down. Maybe I'd given her inspiration for a new poem.

“So you're saying you don't get nervous around boys?” asked Courtney, looking at me skeptically.

“No, I don't. Remember, I have two brothers, and their friends are always hanging around our house at all hours of the day. I know how to talk to boys,” I said. Justin and Adam had two friends I was totally in love with—Ben and Ryan. They thought of me as just a little sister, so I could tease them and punch them in the arm and pull their hair. I never got nervous around those guys.

Lauren turned away from the mirror. “So, you want to give us any advice?”

“Just watch a pro in action tonight,” I bragged. “I'll have a boyfriend before the night is over.”

“Oh, really?” said Mei.

“Okay, JD. If you say so,” Lauren said.

Obviously they didn't believe me, and I couldn't really blame them. What was I saying? But now I had to follow through.

“What about Nick?” asked Courtney.

I came so close to asking “Nick who?” until I remembered that in my fantasy world I was going out with Nick D'Angelo. “Well, what Nick doesn't know won't hurt him, will it?” I said.

Michelle and Alex came in and asked us why we were all dressed up. “Do you guys know something we don't know?” asked Michelle with a sly grin.

No one had said for sure yet that we were having a dance. They worried that if they made it definite, we'd all be so excited we wouldn't go to any activities all day, so they kept us in suspense until the last moment. At least if there wasn't a dance I'd be off the hook for finding a boyfriend.

“We were tired of looking like slobs all week,” said Courtney, batting her eyelashes at Michelle.

“I seriously have nothing to wear!” I yelled.

“Want to borrow something of mine?” asked Michelle, saving my life.

“Oh, you mean there
is
a dance tonight?” Lauren said.

Michelle looked at me and smiled. “I never said that! JD can borrow my clothes anytime.”