Acres, Natalie - Sex Junkie [Cowboy Addiction 1](Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (6 page)

Grant sat there motionless and silent. Lost in apparent deep thought, he finally said, “The biggest thing I worry about is Morgan’s psychological well-being.”

“I’ve thought about that,” Blake said. “After you and I first talked about sharing Morgan if she ever came home, I researched how addiction should be handled in a Domination and submission or slave relationship.

“The first step is to teach Morgan to rely on us for every aspect of her decision making. Another important point is to use the punishment practices appropriately and consistently for her drug offenses. If she thinks about buying drugs there will be a consequence. If she actually calls a dealer or purchases drugs, another one altogether, and if she does drugs—but we won’t give her the chance—a more severe punishment will be handed down.”

“You know I don’t have a problem with this, but I’m worried about you and how this may affect your relationship with her. Morgan sees you as her rock. She always has. We can’t take away her security.”

“You’re right. You’ll definitely need to be the hard-ass.”

Grant smirked. “I’ll do what it takes to make sure Morgan is safe. I can bust her sweet tail on a daily basis if that’s what she needs.”

“She enjoys spankings, but you’ll have to come up with new ways to punish her, too. We need to keep her guessing. You’ll have to think of other ways to punish her.”

“I’ll work on it,” Grant promised.

“Good. We have a long road ahead of us.”

Grant rubbed his chin. “Blake, there’s something we’ve overlooked here. In the past, Morgan liked being held accountable for her actions because she enjoys discipline. We need to figure out the best way to incorporate a punishment and rewards system to enhance her overall experience.”

“Once again, you’re right.”

“I want a recording of this conversation. I’ve never known you to be so agreeable.”

“Someone in the house needs to be cooperative.”

“Mmm,” Grant muttered. “It sure as hell won’t be Morgan.”

“And that’s what bothers me. We’ll lose her again if she begins to feel pressured.”

“She’ll feel pressure all right,” Grant said, his lips twitching. A beat later, he added, “Okay, here’s what we’ll do. We’ll focus on what Morgan enjoys—particularly the pain-pleasure aspect of Domination and submission. She looks for ways to provoke discipline because punishment leads to sensual rewards.

“We’ll hold Morgan accountable for the obvious reasons—to help her beat this addiction, but we must be consistent. We can’t let anything slide, not even a small mention of using again.

“Morgan wants a heightened sexual experience, so it will cost her. Domination and submission is the only way she finds true satisfaction, and that may very well be the only way we can distract her. We must keep her mind occupied. Strenuous training is the only way to go.”

“You know Kit and Kemper won’t approve of this. Right?”

“Until we get a good feel of how Morgan responds to her training, I don’t want to tell them she’s here.”

“We can’t let anything happen to her, Grant. I mean it. One of us must be with her at all times. If she came home looking for help and we run her off before Kit and Kemper have a chance to see her, they’ll never forgive us.”

“I’m still not convinced she came here for help.”

“You don’t buy the
Nashville
story.”

“I believe about half. I think she needed a break from the whole Kilo scene,” Grant said. “If we hadn’t walked in this house when we did, Morgan would’ve left here the same way she ran away years ago—with full pockets and a letter left behind on the table. Question is, what would Kilo do with her once she returned to
Memphis
? After talking to him, I’m not convinced he’s ready to let her go.”

“Me either. Guys like Kilo look for gals like Morgan.”

“Yeah,” Grant agreed. “And she’s the goose laying the golden eggs.”

“Exactly.”

“So you aren’t buying her little spiel, either?”

“Nope. Not now.” A beat later Blake added, “I wanted to believe her. I needed to trust her again. Now, I understand what we used to preach a long time ago. Trust is earned.”

“Unfortunately, a drug addict has a hard time earning that trust back once it’s lost.”

“Who knows, maybe we’ll never trust her completely.”

“I can live with that.”

“I hope so,” Blake said. “Because love without trust is a tough obstacle to overcome. I should know.”

Grant shrugged. “You can’t blame Morgan for that entirely. Greed got in the way.”

Blake snickered. “It was a little more than greed, don’t ’cha think?”

Grant held his breath and then slapped Blake on the back, releasing a sudden sigh. “What can I say? I love to see that pretty little body move.”

“You ain’t the only one.”

Chapter Five

“Kilo? Is that you? Kilo?” Morgan strained to make out the image in the doorway. “Are you here to kill me?” Using the scarves tied to her hands, Morgan hoisted herself away from the mattress. “I’ve missed you, Kilo. You know I have. I would’ve come home soon. Here, untie me. I’ll show you how much you mean to me, and you can give me what I need. Okay?”

“No,” the voice said. Only, the voice didn’t sound like Kilo’s deep, wicked voice. Instead, it sounded like Blake. He eased over to the bed and sat down.

She blinked. Was she in immediate danger? Had Blake and Grant given Kilo access to her? Were they part of the coalition to destroy her? Did she fear Kilo or not? She writhed against the bindings. She wasn’t sure. She couldn’t be certain of anything. Her thoughts were too jumbled.

“Morgan, honey, you’re fine. It’s Blake. Kilo isn’t here.”

“No, I’m not fine! Where are Blake and Grant? Why are you here? How’d you get in? Why are you saying you’re Blake? Why are my hands tied up? Free me right now!”

“Morgan, it’s Blake, honey. You’re home. You’re safe. You don’t need Kilo anymore, and he won’t harm you. You’re with men who love you. Grant and I only want to help you. Remember? We’ve talked about this.”

“Why are you saying I don’t need you, Kilo? And how are you able to talk like Blake? This is crazy! Help! Somebody help me!” Morgan jerked. Her wrists were bound. She remembered Blake and Grant tying her wrists and ankles. Why had she ever agreed to let them tie her up? How had she gotten herself into a situation from which she’d never escape?

Large hands slowly came forward. She glared at the magnified splayed fingers. There were ten on each hand. She fought against the grip that snapped around her shoulders. Kilo’s hands were firmer than ever before. His strength was overpowering.

The devil must’ve sent him to deliver death’s final call.

“I need crystal. Give me what I want, and I’ll do anything I can to make you happy! I just can’t stand this!”

“Morgan, you’re hallucinating. You’re hearing and seeing things that aren’t here.”

“That’s wrong!” she screamed. “You’re trying to kill me. The evil coalition and its forces sent you to finish me off! You have five heads! Ten fingers on each hand!”

“No, Morgan. Listen to my voice. Hear what I’m saying to you. Come on, baby. Find your way back to me. Try, Morgan. Fight, honey. You can’t beat this thing if you don’t try.”

She continued to shake under the large hands holding her. “I can’t stand this! I’m sick! I need help!” Her stomach rolled. “I’m going to be sick.”

“We’ll get you help, baby. Grant called his personal physician. He’ll come out here to see you. You’ll get whatever medical attention you need.”

“Good. If he’s any kind of doctor, he’ll shoot the right kind of meds in my veins.” She relaxed under those familiar hands. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her head. Taking deep breaths, she concentrated on the soothing tone of Blake’s voice. Maybe if she just lay there and tried to concentrate on what Blake’s voice told her to do rather than the voices in her head, she’d overcome this.

“Honey, listen to me. Meth can cause you to do crazy things. You can see and hear voices long after your last fix. That’s what you’re experiencing right now. Kilo isn’t here. You aren’t sick, but Grant will have a doctor check you out just to be sure.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and focused on the sounds around her. A loud and long clickety-click noise made her body go rigid. “Just do it and get it over with.”

“What honey?”

Her eyes flew open. “I heard the sound of a cocked gun! I know you want to kill me!” A beat later, she suddenly gulped and said, “Blake, is that you?”

“Yes, Morgan. It’s me.” A wave of sadness washed over his expression. “The noise you heard was the heat pump. No one is here except you, me, and Grant.”

“Kilo isn’t here?”

“No,” he assured her, brushing her hair away from her face. “And he won’t be able to get to you if he comes here. You won’t see him again.”

“But he was here. I saw him. I heard him. I felt his presence.”

“No, Morgan. You didn’t.”

She swallowed. “This is the tough part.”

“What is, honey?”

“I see and hear things. I can’t process like a normal person now.”

“I know, Morgan. Believe me. We understand what you’re going through. Grant has already seen everything there is to see with this sort of addiction. We’ve read up on the aftermaths of meth and the detox. It’s not as easy as you might think.”

“I feel like I’m losing my mind!” she wailed.

“And you will feel like that from time to time. That’s why you have to let Grant and I take care of you. Will you do that for me?”

The sincerity in his voice made her heart melt. She’d loved him for over half her life. Even when she and Grant were together, she often told Grant how much she missed Blake. He’d always taken it in stride, told her it was okay to love them both, but she’d never imagined being shared by them.

“I need you,” she admitted.

“I know, honey.”

“No, I really need you,” she said, gnawing on her bottom lip. “Can’t you untie me and hold me?”

Blake studied her for a long time. After consideration, he loosened her arms. She tried to roll over to face him, but with her legs still secured, she was unable to find the position she most wanted.

“I can’t untie your legs,” he told her.

“Why not? I’m not going anywhere. You know you can overpower me if I try. Can’t you hold me and love me a while?”

Grant entered the room then. “Dr. Cox is out of town. He’ll be here in a couple of days. He said what Morgan is experiencing is normal.”

Morgan batted her eyelashes. “Blake released my arms. I want to be held and loved, but he won’t untie my legs.” She realized then, she sounded exactly like Kilo often accused. She used her childlike voice to get her way, and right then, she was disgusted with herself.

She wanted to be that strong, confident woman she’d been when she was in her late teens and early twenties. She longed to feel like the old Morgan again.

Grant narrowed his gaze on her ankles. Then, he addressed Blake, “I don’t see why we can’t let her go while we’re here with her.”

“You’re probably right,” Blake said, winking at Morgan.

Seconds later, her legs were free and Morgan straddled Blake as soon as she could move about the bed. “Do you want to show me how easy it will be to go to bed with two men?”

Always incredibly sexual with both men, Morgan had been dying to experience what they’d promised her. She wanted to be held and nurtured, coddled and pampered.

“We never promised easy,” Blake informed her.

“Oral sex is out until you’ve been tested,” Grant said out of the blue.

The way Grant spoke to her in a clinical voice, a matter-of-fact tone, hurt her feelings, but she brushed it off as a precaution they needed to take. Even though she longed to feel one of their tongues rubbing against her clit, she understood. If the roles were reversed, she wouldn’t want to put herself in harm’s way because of the bad choices a lover made in the past. And what did she know anyway? As drugged up as she had been in the last few years, she couldn’t be one hundred percent certain that she and Kilo always practiced safe sex.

“Will you make love to me?” she asked, shifting her gaze from one man to the other.

“Is that what you want?” Grant asked.

“Yes,” she replied. “I want to feel both of you inside me so I’ll know this is real.”

Grant ran his finger across her bottom lip, dragging it back and forth. “Is that the only reason?”

“I guess so. Yes.”

“Then no,” he told her firmly, placing some distance between them. “We’ll fuck you, but we won’t make love to you nice and slow. There’s a difference in making love and fucking. You know I’ve always felt that way. If you can’t tell us you love us, that in your heart you realize you’ll never love anyone the way you once loved us, then fucking is all you get.”

Grant’s expression changed considerably. He was in immeasurable pain, and she could relate. He wanted more from her than she was willing to supply. If the roles had been reversed, she wondered what she might do.