Authors: Jennifer Lane
“It’s okay, Alex.” She patted my hand. “He needs to know if he can trust me. My dad’s the same way. He’ll probably ask you even tougher questions when you meet him.”
¡Hijole!
I hadn’t even thought of that.
“I love my brother,” Maddie continued. “We don’t always agree, though. Racism still exists, but I don’t look at everything as black or white. I know some wonderful black people, like my grandparents, but there are black people who cheat, steal, even murder—and white people who do the same. There are good and bad people in every group. It’s ridiculous to paint an entire race with a broad brush.”
Her low, impassioned voice mesmerized me, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Then she grinned. “Black, white, Latino, gay, straight—if any of them came across a bear in the woods, they’d all taste like chicken.”
I laughed, and my dad’s mouth twitched.
“I just try to get to know individuals, try to know their hearts,” Maddie said. “Lucia, she has
such
a loving heart. I’m lucky she came to Highbanks.”
The curve of Dad’s mouth resembled a smile more and more. Maddie was smart to tap into his soft spot for Lucy.
“And you’re right, I don’t know Alejandro all that well, but what I’ve seen draws me to him.” She peeked at me. “It scares me a little, how much I miss him when we’re apart.”
Hail Mary!
She felt the same way? “Me, too,” I admitted, and we beamed at each other. I didn’t want to become dependent on her, but I hadn’t figured out a way to keep her out of my mind, out of my heart.
“The way I see it, our cultural differences don’t hurt us—they help us. They enrich us. For example, I want to learn Spanish. It’s such a beautiful language.” She turned to me. “And I want you to come to my church in Cleveland. It’s where I grew up, and I want to share it with you.”
I nodded.
“You see?” She looked at Dad. “Alejandro and I actually have a lot in common. Faith’s important to us. He gets what it’s like to major in pre-med and play a sport. I want to become a doctor, like him. I try not to focus on differences in our skin color, but pay attention to similarities in our character.” Her eyes glowed with conviction. “It’s not what divides us; it’s what unites us.”
Dad blinked as silence stretched between us. I’d never seen him speechless before. Maddie’s hands fidgeted.
“I should create a cabinet position for you, Maddie,” he finally said. “Ambassador of Racial Relations.” He grinned. “What do you think, Alejandro?”
I stretched my arm across her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “I think she’s rather busy right now, Dad. She has a lot on her plate. And that was
before
she added learning Spanish to the mix.”
Dad spoke to me in Spanish. “You’re falling hard for her, and I can see why.”
Relief flooded me. It was so important that he understood how special Maddie was.
“
Solo ve con cuidado
,” he added.
Be careful
. When he glanced at my arm across her shoulders, I removed it.
“Dad, could I talk to you about something?”
“You can always talk to me.”
“I tried to call last week, but you were too busy.”
Dad frowned. “That’s not right. I’ll get on—”
“It’s okay. We’re talking now.” I paused to gather my thoughts. When I smiled at Maddie, she misunderstood my look as wanting her to leave.
She scooted forward on the sofa. “I’ll go.”
“No, please stay. You already know about the situation.” I glanced at the agent standing by the door. “But could Secret Service leave?”
Concern crossed Dad’s face. “Joe, give us a minute.”
“I’ll be right outside, sir.”
The soft click of the door signaled it was time to make my case to my father. “I want to discuss China Halloway.”
“The agent protecting you.”
“
Sí.
” I took a deep breath. “I know this isn’t my call, but I don’t think she should be fired.”
Dad cocked his head. “Why would she be fired?”
“Because of the affair. She hasn’t let it interfere—”
“
What
affair?”
I flinched at his sharp tone, and Maddie seemed to tense as well. “The affair between China and Lucy’s agent, Allison.”
Dad’s only response was a slight widening of the eyes.
“So you obviously don’t know about this.”
“No. Tell me everything.” His arms folded across his chest.
“A Secret Service higher-up—Captain Shandy—came to Baltimore to chastise China for her involvement with Allison. He docked her pay while he investigated whether her behavior had been at all unprofessional. But I told him it wasn’t.”
Dad glared. “And this captain spoke to Lucia as well?”
“I suppose.” I shrugged. “I haven’t talked to her about it.”
His fingers tapped his arm as he frowned. Then he bolted up and hit a button on the phone on his desk.
“
Afternoon, Mr. President
,” came through the speakerphone.
“Danny, I have a problem.”
I whispered to Maddie, “Daniel Guthrie, Chief of Staff.”
“My son tells me there’s an investigation into the professionalism of China Halloway—an investigation I know nothing about. Surely that cannot be the case. Tell me he misunderstood something.”
Mr. Guthrie paused. “
There is an investigation, sir. The director’s reviewing the findings as we speak
.”
“How can this be?” Fire blazed in his voice, and I reached for Maddie’s hand the way I used to reach for Lucia’s when we were in trouble. “How have you not informed me about this matter involving my children?”
“
I’m sorry, sir. We didn’t want to bother you with this
.”
“Make it known that anything involving my family is a top priority. I don’t care how busy I am. But you know that already, Danny—how could you let me down like this?”
After a moment, Mr. Guthrie said, “
We thought the press would use this against you, since you’ve spoken out against gay marriage in the past
.”
Dad glowered at the phone, and his voice seemed to tremble with fury. “Do
not
handle me, Danny.”
“
Yes, sir
.”
“I want you and the director in my office ASAP.”
“
Yes, sir
.”
The call ended, and Dad breathed out through his nose. “
They’re
the ones who should be fired.”
“I don’t want to cause any trouble,” I said. “I just want to be fair to China.”
“No, I’m glad you told me.” He circled the desk, and his expression lightened. “This is simply about clarifying expectations. Reagan encountered it in his first days of office, too.” He looked at me pointedly. “Are my expectations of you and your siblings clear?”
I felt frozen. I was accustomed to him as the leader of the Ramirez family, but leader of the United States was another level entirely. “Yes, sir.”
A soft knock preceded the entry of Dad’s right-hand man. I stood and guided Maddie to her feet. After a brief introduction to Mr. Guthrie and a brusque goodbye from Dad, we got out of there. Brad waited for us outside the Oval Office.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
I tried to get my bearings as I looked around me. “This entire building is just surreal.”
“Totally surreal,” Maddie agreed.
Brad laughed as his large hand cupped my shoulder. “You’ll get used to it. Hey, let me give you the tour, freak you out some more.”
“Can’t wait!” Maddie curled her fingers around mine, and off we went down the hallway.
Almost an hour later, we still hadn’t completed our tour. If I’d had a pedometer, it probably would’ve reached nearly eight thousand steps, even without picking up a game of basketball like I’d wanted to do when I saw the sweet court outside.
Brad gestured to a bedroom on the second floor. “The first lady said this is your room when you visit. The Lincoln Room.”
“Oh, my God. The Lincoln Room?” Maddie zipped inside. “This is incredible!”
I smirked at Brad as I followed her in and closed the door behind me. Opulent golds and deep purples framed the windows and canopied bed. “No way I could sleep here.” I scrunched my nose. “Too frou frou.”
“
I’ll
sleep here,” she said, and just like that arousal spiked my blood. She lowered onto one of the gold loveseats and gazed up at the massive mirror over the fireplace. “Stunning.”
“
You’re
stunning.” She blushed, and I joined her on the small sofa.
“What you said to my dad about going beneath skin color…” I tapped my thigh, trying to find the right words. “It means a lot to me. There was truth in your words. There was…healing. It seemed to come from a place deep inside of you.”
Her brow furrowed. “I sure babbled in front of your dad.”
“Not at all. You were quite eloquent.”
“It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about, I guess. Dealing with racial differences—all kinds of differences.” She frowned. “Disconnection. Shame. I’ve discussed it with Dr. Valentine. She had me watch this talk online about the power of vulnerability. We shy away from being real because we’re ashamed. We don’t feel good enough. It made me realize how bad I am at being vulnerable. I try to be perfect, but I keep failing.”
Though she seemed perfect to me, I nodded.
“I’ve been ashamed of my imperfect family. I always knew I was different from all the girls at school—the ones who had mommies waiting for them at home—and that difference felt shameful. I felt defective. I kept my distance from people.”
What a risk she had taken to let me into her heart, after all she’d been through. “But you haven’t kept
me
at a distance.”
Her face lit up. “I can’t stay away from you, Hotajandro.”
Warmth flowed through me, and I squeezed her hand. “Thank God. But why me?”
“I think I was tired of my life. The depression is a sign of that. And when people found out about my mom, they didn’t judge me like I thought they would.
You
didn’t judge me. You make me feel important, like somebody who matters.” She shook her head. “All those years I feared others’ scorn, simply for being different.” She sighed. “It’s sad we let our differences come between us. I don’t want that to happen anymore.”
“I agree.” I rested my hand on her leg and drew small circles on the inside of her knee.
“I can tell you and Rez really love your dad. You admire him. But you know something?” She leaned in, her eyes fierce. “It’s okay to be different from your dad. You can think differently than him. You can make different choices.”
I shrugged. “I know that.”
“Do you?” Her eyes searched mine.
I stilled.
Do I?
Her hand skimmed my jaw, almost lifting me off my seat. We gazed at each other for minutes or hours—I couldn’t tell for sure. She kept coming closer, and when her lips met mine, the buoyant sensation intensified. My eyes closed as I rode the waves of her sweet kisses. We swam in a sea of gold, with no anchors, no land in sight. I clutched her waist as I deepened her kiss. I wanted to float here forever.
My eyes flew open when she unbuckled my belt. Her bright eyes flashed as she unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, undoing me in the process. Was I ready for this? I sucked in a breath when her hot touch brushed over my boxer shorts, lighting me up inside.
Hell yes, I’m ready
. I stopped breathing when she reached in and drew my penis through the opening of my boxers. My hips bucked the second she touched me, her hand igniting an electric charge.
One of her hands pressed into my shoulder while the other rubbed and massaged my growing erection. We both watched my body respond to her silky, stimulating touch. I arched my back, almost writhing against the sofa, and ran my hand through her hair to anchor myself.
She offered me a sassy smirk. “Oral sex doesn’t count as premarital sex, right?”
Lord, her beautiful mouth on me? “Not according to Bill Clinton.” I felt lightheaded with anticipation. “I did not have sex with that woman,” I assured her in my best Southern accent.
Her throaty laugh brought new heights to my arousal. “You think Bill and Monica did it in the Lincoln Room?” She grinned as she slithered down my body, landing softly on her knees. She looked up at me, her eyes darkening, then focused her gaze on my crotch. This was happening? I couldn’t breathe. Brad was right outside. Her mouth rounded as she leaned forward, her lips glistening from our kisses.
My father’s voice floated through my mind.
Have I made my expectations clear?
Was I ready for this?
“Stop.”
Her head yanked back, her eyes confused.
“I’m sorry.”
I’m a jerk.
“I’m screwing this up. I just can’t…”
She sat back on her heels. I sighed with frustration.
After settling down, I zipped my pants, then clasped her arms. “You’re gorgeous. I want you so badly.”
She let me guide her to her feet, but when I tugged her toward my lap, she hesitated. After a moment, I exhaled when she folded into me.
“I’m so sorry—I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just…” I pressed a kiss into her collarbone. “We’re in the White House of all places, and I’m just not ready, I guess.”
It sounded like she stifled a groan. “So embarrassing, me throwing myself at you like that. Talk about vulnerability.”
“Please don’t be embarrassed. This is about my hang-ups, not at all about your desirability. God, I desire you. It’s this damn Catholic guilt eating me up.”
She avoided my eyes as she took that in. Then she looked up at me. “Good things come to those who wait?”
She was adorable. “I hope so.” I’d waited for someone like her for twenty-four years. “You totally turn me on, and I don’t know if I can hold off much longer.”
As she kissed my forehead, my mind processed what had just happened. Why had I stopped her? I’d always thought sex before marriage was wrong, but now that I was an adult, I had to discern if that was what I really believed or if I was simply parroting my parents.
Maddie had let me in, but surely she’d eventually kick me out I refused to have sex. The thought of losing her crushed me.