According to Jane (16 page)

"Super," I murmured, forcing myself to take another sip before scanning the room. Couples littered every corner, the watchful eyes of the chaperones darting between them.

I eyed the couples I was with. I didn't know Sabrina and Nate's intimacy status, but Krista and Steve had obviously done it before, as had Terrie and Matt. For the first time ever, I had to admit being a virgin was starting to become more of a liability than an asset. My reputation might be snowy, but was it worth the price of not feeling close to anyone?

A few couples left the room and my field of vision opened up to include Sam and Amanda in the panorama. She nuzzled against him and his hand stroked her swaying dark hair with a gentleness I could detect even from a distance. As I watched them, I felt Jason's strong fingers grasp my hand. He tugged me toward him, and I let him hold me as we stood there, marking time, seeing our friends and the other teens float in and out of the Winnebago Room. Foreigner's "I Wanna Know What Love Is" came on.

Jason groaned.

"What? You don't like this song?" I asked him.

He blinked and pulled me closer. "I like it. I just--" He downed the rest of his punch.

"You just what?"

He sighed. "Is there anywhere we could go to talk, Ellie? It's kinda loud in here."

I shrugged. "Sure."

We told the others we were leaving for a bit. Terrie's grin brightened. I rolled my eyes at her. Steve winked knowingly at us, and I felt Jason's grip on my hand tighten.

We found a secluded spot off the lobby, a gingham-covered loveseat across from two potted ferns. Very relaxing ambiance, or it would've been if I hadn't been aware that some Momentous Occurrence might well be on the horizon.

"So, what's up?" I said, my palms beginning to sweat. I let go of Jason's hand.

He glanced around us, then balanced his empty punch glass between his legs and poured most of the remaining vodka into it. "Want any more?" he asked me.

I shook my head. He dumped the rest of the alcohol into his glass and returned the empty bottle to his tux pocket. He took a long, slow drink and smacked his lips. "Mmm."

"Are you okay?" I said, noting the way his lips kept twitching and how he seemed to be unable to look me in the eye.

"Oh, yeah." He guzzled about half the vodka, which made
me
cringe even if he didn't. I took a deep breath and was about to make some inane comment about the hotel's decor when he blurted, "Can I kiss you, Ellie?"

I swallowed and kind of nodded. He brought his lips down on mine in one smooth swoop. They were a little rough, but warm. The taste of pure vodka lingered on them, a flavor that blended together with the natural tang of Jason's lips.

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and my lust hormones surprised me by kicking in. My pulse thrummed with the wanting I'd tried so stubbornly to ignore as his fingers skated along the fabric of my dress, inching ever higher. He ran the pad of his thumb against the side of my left breast and, suddenly, hard curiosity squashed all thoughts of romantic theory.

Yeah, I wanted to know what love was. But did I want Jason to show me?

As if realizing this was his audition for the part of First Lover, Jason murmured, "I really, really like you...and I think I could make you really happy tonight."

This was, without a doubt, an amazingly lame line, but he had a decent follow-up: "I'm not going to make stuff up to get you to go to bed with me, Ellie. I know you're not stupid. I know you have a good reputation and maybe you wanna save sex for marriage. If you do, I'd understand that, although I really want you."

I blinked. "You do?"

"Definitely." He let out a low chuckle, paused to finish his drink, then kissed my neck. "I want you to be my first."

I gaped at him. "What?" Did that mean he'd never--

"I think you heard me."

"So, you haven't...um, yet...either?"

"Nope." He nibbled on my ear. "Although I'd appreciate you kind of not mentioning that to your friends. Or to mine."

I covered my ear to stop the sensual assault. "Well, no, of course not, but I would've thought you--"

He sat back and sighed. "It's like this, Ellie. You and me--we're friends, right?"

"Right."

"Well, to be close to someone like that, close enough to have sex with them, you've gotta feel like it'll be okay the next day. You know, that the other person really likes you for you. Do you get what I mean?"

I assured him that, yes, I did.

"It's not always that way with other girls in our school. With you, I think we could do it and still be friends. I mean, I'm attracted to you, but it's not a
crazy
kind of attraction. It's not something that makes me lose control." He gave me a serious once-over. "And I don't think I have that effect on you either."

Fog rolled around in my head as I tried to grasp what he was saying. "So, you think we should have sex because then we can do it and it won't make us all insane and irrational."

He exhaled, sounding relieved. "Yeah, exactly. We can do this together, help each other out on our first time and, because we're friends, everything'll be cool tomorrow. 'Cuz college is coming up, and it'd be a lot easier for both of us, I think, if we got this whole rite of passage thing out of the way before then."

I looked Jason in the eye. Finally, I understood his motives for asking me to prom, and I knew I should've been angry about it. Or indignant. Or something. But I couldn't work up the emotion to feel anything but drained. In an odd way, his logic made sense to me. Sure, he was trying to use me. Then again, he was also being completely honest about it and inviting me to use him, too.

It all came down to how desperate I felt for a romantic connection. How much, for once, I craved being a totally reckless teen like my sister instead of The Responsible One. How I knew I could never pull off a Bad Girl image for long--either in high school or in college--and that Jason wasn't asking me to pretend I knew more than I did. We could get our experience together and, later, release each other without all the hurt.

Maybe it was the spiked punch or maybe it was Jason's hot kisses or maybe it was spotting Sam out of the corner of my eye, walking with his arm around Amanda, but I whispered, "Okay."

ELLIE! What, pray tell, do you think you are doing?
Jane screamed in my head. I jerked back in surprise only to see Jason's smiling face.

"Great," he said.

No!
Jane, who'd made only serene comments for much of the evening, yelled.
It is not intended to happen this way
.

I willfully ignored her.

"Are we on fourth or seventh?" he asked, standing up and pulling me to my feet.

Return at once to the Winnebago Room
, Jane commanded.

"The seventh," I told Jason. "With Nate and Sabrina."

He nodded. "I think Nate's got whiskey upstairs, if you're interested. Otherwise, if you want something a little lighter, Steve brought Bacardi. I could get some for--"

"That's okay," I said. "I don't want any more to drink."

He kissed the top of my head very gently and tugged me toward the elevator.

Within minutes we'd retrieved a few "necessary items" from Jason's room and were safely locked in mine.

Ellie Barnett, I forbid you to remain alone in a bedchamber with this boy,
Jane squealed, as Jason dragged the zipper down the back of my dress and nudged me onto the mattress so we lay face-to-face, both of our heads on the same pillow.

He rubbed the small of my back, making little circles like widening waves against my skin. I sighed and curled in toward him. He must've taken this move as permission to speed right along because his hand dipped lower, beneath the elastic of my panties.

"I've got lots of protection," he whispered, "so whenever you wanna start..."

I, however, was anything but ready to start. Hadn't Jason Bertignoli ever heard of foreplay?

"I--um, well, there's got to be a few things we should do before then." I tapped the black bow around his neck with my index finger. "Like getting undressed, maybe?"

He grinned. "I was working up to that." He wrenched my dress off one shoulder then the other before yanking at my bra clasp. "You gotta get this thing undone for me or I'm gonna rip it off."

I unfastened the back clasp, my fingers shaking, my stomach quivering and Jane howling with rage in my brain.

This is all WRONG,
Jane pleaded.
You must comprehend that. Please do not take this severe breach of reason one step further.

I let Jason push away the creamy fabric of the bra and heard him suck in a gulp of air as his hand squeezed my breast. "God, you're so sweet," he said, dipping his mouth to taste my nipples.

I swallowed and reached for his belt. How did a woman unfasten it gracefully?

Jane's familiar voice blurted,
I will keep trying to stop you, Ellie, by any way I am able.
But I was beyond heeding her threats.

A moment later, we heard the telltale scratching of the hotel room's door lock and the hushed giggles of Nate and Sabrina. Oh, hell. Now what?

See?
Jane said, all but gloating. For a split second I wondered at the extent of her powers here on earth. Could she have been responsible for compelling Nate and Sabrina back to the room?

Didn't matter, I decided, as Jason sat upright in panic. I had a plan. I grabbed two pillows off the bed and motioned for him to follow me. Into the closet.

"Quick thinking," he said appreciatively. He pulled on the door until it was almost closed.

"Uh, Ellie? Are you here?" Sabrina's voice called out.

I took a deep breath. "Yep."

We heard Nate chuckle. "Jason around anywhere?" he asked. "Or did you ditch him downstairs?"

"Present," Jason said, his tone sharp.

Nate laughed a bit louder. "Alrighty then. So, are we, uh, all
locked in
for the night?"

I looked at Jason. He nodded. "Yeah," I said. "You two?"

There was a pause then Sabrina answered, "Yes."

"Goodnight, then," Jason said. "And, Nate, stay the hell out of here." He tugged on the doorknob until the closet door clicked in emphasis.

Jason and I didn't move for a few long moments. We stood next to each other, the odor of vodka pervading my senses and the cool air dancing against my bare chest.

As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw Jason's shadowy figure stirring. He removed his tux jacket and dress shirt and pulled a bunch of small squares out of his pocket. "Trojans," he whispered.

I nodded and hoped he could see me because, suddenly, my throat was too parched for speech.

Jane tried one more time to reason with me.
Ellie, you can still stop this
--

I know
, I told her. Then I locked her out of my conscious mind. Before that night I'd never wanted to block her from my thoughts, but if ever there was a time to do it, this was it.

Jason dug into his jacket pocket and then pressed a plastic soda bottle into my hands. "I also brought us this."

I squinted to read the writing. "7Up?" I rasped out.

"Um, no," he said.

I unscrewed the cap and a new alcoholic aroma wafted up to me.

"Some of Matt's Everclear," he said. "I know you said you didn't want any more to drink, but in case you changed your mind and
did
want some."

I already had the bottle to my lips and was in the midst of a long swig. Yeah, I'd changed my mind all right. Fire burned down my throat, but at least I could speak freely again.

"Thanks," I said as I dabbed my mouth with the back of my wrist and returned the bottle to him.

Jason leaned in to kiss my forehead before guzzling several swallows of the stuff. Amazing the guy was still conscious after all the liquor he'd consumed in the past few hours. I'd had only a fraction as much, but I could sure feel it taking effect.

We heard Nate and Sabrina's moans on the other side of the door. The closet afforded only so much privacy.

After listening for a sec, Jason shoved his belongings to one side and positioned the pillows on the floor. We'd spotted an extra blanket stashed in the closet, so he put that on the carpet, too, patted it and whispered, "C'mere, Ellie."

I peeled off the rest of my dress, kicked off my pumps and joined him on the floor. He slid his palm down my body, a slow glide starting at the curve of my shoulders and snaking past my waist to my hips. His fingers came to rest on my thigh.

"You feel really great," he said, his voice a hoarse whisper in the darkness. He pushed his body next to mine, squeezing me to him in a straightjacket hold. His belt buckle stabbed my stomach, and I had to pull away.

"Can you get rid of that?" I whispered, tugging on his belt.

Jason, obviously interpreting this request as my uncontrolled eagerness, kissed me hard and said with enthusiasm, "Totally!"

He shed the rest of his clothes, placed his fingers on top of mine and slid my hand right to the hard part. "Here," he said, stroking upward. He moved my fingers over him, and I felt his penis jump. "Like that."

So I did it again.

"Oh, baby, yes."

And again, about ten more times, marveling all the while at my control over him.

Jason became increasingly less coherent. He mumbled some words I couldn't catch, pumped his hips toward me and, finally, shoved my hand away, breathing hard. In one stunningly swift movement, he tore off his briefs and grabbed at the Trojan squares.

"You-your p-p-panties," he said in my ear.

"What about them?" I watched him, in an oddly detached way, as he fumbled with a condom.

"Off."

But before I could do that, he'd gotten the Trojan on and had both hands squeezing the edges of my lace-trimmed panties. With absolutely no attempt at finesse, he dragged them down my legs and whipped them off. A second later, he had me on my back with his hands between my thighs and his tall body poised above me.