Accidental Reunion (18 page)

Watched as her life dissolved around her.

*

It was strange, not having her mother at home, not having the evening meal and bath to deal with, the nightly turns.

And for the first time in ages Lila didn’t collapse exhausted in front of the television at nine o’clock.

‘Fancy a glass of wine, Shirley?’ she asked, pulling the cork on a bottle of red.

‘You know, actually I do.’

Shirley hardly ever drank but after the week they’d shared a glass or two seemed more than merited.

‘It’s strange without your mum here, isn’t it, darling? I mean, I know she didn’t talk or anything but…’

‘I was just thinking same thing.’

Tucking her feet under her on the sofa, Lila tried to chatter away with Shirley, and later tried to concentrate on the late night film. Anything other than think what Declan and Yvonne were doing right now.

But red wine and slushy films didn’t mix, at least not when you were lugging about a broken heart.

It was a relief to go to bed and give way to her tears.

‘S
OMEONE
slept well.’ Shirley placed a round of toast and a huge milky mug of coffee on the heavy wooden table. ‘You must have a clear conscience.’

Lila yawned as she pulled out a chair and sat down. ‘More’s the pity. A dose of decadence would suit me fine right now.’ Eyeing the bacon Shirley was lavishly loading onto her toast, Lila laughed. ‘You’re not very good for my figure. At this rate—’

The ringing of the telephone didn’t stall their conversation. Tossing her hair as she grabbed the receiver, Lila made a casual comment about cellulite and answered the telephone with an innocence she was about to lose.

‘What is it?’ Shirley stood there, alerted by the anxious tones in her niece’s voice, the pan raised dangerously in the air, the smell of bacon suddenly making Lila feel nauseous.

‘Mum’s developed a chest infection. They want us to come straight up to the hospital.’

Shirley gave a reassuring smile. ‘There’s a lot of them going around right now. They’ll give her some antibiotics and she’ll be fine. Ted was coughing like an old train…’

‘Shirley.’ There was something in Lila’s voice that stopped Shirley in her tracks. ‘This is serious.’

‘How serious?’

Lila looked at the ceiling, biting her lip as two huge
tears splashed onto her cheeks. Her voice was audible but there was a tremor as she spoke. ‘I think this might be it.’

Strange, the things you thought about. As they piled into the car, she leant her face against the car window, watching the world carrying on as normal. The line of people at the tram stop, on their way to work. Mr Cole taking his dog for a walk. Schoolchildren chatting as they ambled along.

The charge nurse had been gentle with her words but the message had been brutal, and Lila was under no misconception that she was going to see her mother for the last time.

How many times had she rung relatives? Told them not to rush, it was pointless having an accident on the way, but to come now nonetheless.

Her instinct was to rush to her mother’s bedside, but the charge nurse was waiting for them. ‘Dr Selles would like to have a word first.’

Lila shook her head. Diagnoses, prognoses, they were all immaterial, the need to see her mother surpassed everything. ‘I want to see my mum now.’

It was the first time she had dug her heels in where her mother was concerned and after a brief pause the charge nurse nodded.

‘I’ll take you to her now.’

Elizabeth didn’t look very different. Her cheeks were flushed, her face wet with perspiration, but apart from that she looked much the same as when Lila had left her last night. Her hair had been brushed and even the usual slick of lipstick was in place, a credit to Lorna who smiled at Lila though her eyes glistened with tears.

‘Shall I take you to speak with the doctor now?’

A gentle hand guided her elbow, helping her the short distance to Yvonne’s office where Ted and Shirley sat in strained silence.

‘I was just explaining to your aunt that Elizabeth has developed serious pneumonia. We’ve taken a lot of bloods and X-rays, and unfortunately it’s very serious.’

Ever the optimist, Shirley broke in quickly. ‘But surely it can be treated. I know that when my Uncle Vince had—’

‘Shirley.’ Lila halted her aunt, her eyes turning to Yvonne as the doctor continued with her grim news.

‘She needs to go on a ventilator,’ Yvonne didn’t blind them with science, didn’t tell them the direness of Elizabeth’s blood-gas results. It would have gone completely over Shirley’s and Ted’s heads and for Lila it was too much to take in. ‘She also needs much stronger antibiotics. That would involve frequent blood tests to check the levels and the antibiotics themselves are not without risks, particularly as Elizabeth does have some renal impairment. But even if we do move her across to ICU and put her on a ventilator—’

‘No.’ It was Lila that interrupted Yvonne this time.

‘No,’ she repeated softly as every eye in the room turned to her. ‘Enough is enough.’

They were the toughest words she had ever uttered, the hardest decision she had ever made, but she knew in her heart it was the right one. Her mother had suffered enough, and to prolong the agony would be cruel.

‘Lila, if you want to get a second opinion I quite understand.’

For a second Lila stiffened. Staring at her hands, she blinked back tears. For that instant she hated Yvonne. It was an alien feeling, one that Lila had never had before. Yvonne, with her soft, lilting voice, her immaculate clothes, seemed to impinge on her life in the most abhorrent way. The two people she loved most in the world were lost to her and Yvonne, however unwittingly, had played a role in each of them. But as Lila looked up at the other woman, she saw her for what she was, not the best friend a girl could wish for but a caring, compassionate doctor nonetheless, who had done her best to save Elizabeth.

Unfortunately it was a war that couldn’t be won—by anyone.

There was nothing to hate.

‘That won’t be necessary.’

Shirley blew her nose loudly. ‘What now, Doctor?’

‘You might want to sit with her, spend some time with her.’

Shirley stood up. ‘Come on, pet, let’s go and see your mum.’

But Lila shook her head. ‘I need to get some air. You go, Shirley. Tell Mum I’ll be along soon.’

The air wasn’t particularly fresh outside Emergency, but she stood there with the smokers, watching the ambulances rush past, watching the hubbub of the hospital as she sipped on a cup of machine-made hot chocolate.

Somehow she needed this time alone, time to prepare herself for whatever lay ahead.

‘Sister Bailey?’

Lila swung around, trying desperately to put a name to the face that was smiling at her. ‘Jessica?’

‘That’s right. I’m surprised you remember.’

‘Of course I remember. Mind you, you’re looking a lot better than the last time I saw you. I take it you’re on your way home?’

Jessica nodded. ‘Mark’s bringing the car around. I was just heading into Casualty to leave these for you.’ Handing a large bunch of flowers to Lila, Jessica blushed. ‘I was going to ask if I could leave these for you for when you came back on duty.’

Lila was touched, deeply touched, and told her so.

‘You helped me a lot that night. I know I was pretty out of it and everything, but, well, I remember how you took the time to listen and tell me to take the help that was offered…’

‘And did you?’

Jessica nodded. ‘I’m having counselling, and they’ve put me on some medication, and I’ll get there. I know that now. Mark’s been wonderful. I did what you said and tried talking to him. I should have done it months ago.’

As Mark pulled up in the car, Lila gave the woman a quick hug. ‘Look after yourself, Jessica.’

So the patients did remember after all. Burying her face in the heady fragrance of the bouquet, Lila tried to summon the strength to head back upstairs.

‘More flowers from your admirers?’

‘If I told you this was only the second bunch I’ve received in eight years, would you believe me?’

Declan laughed. ‘Probably not.’

He looked fresh and bright, not a trace of the night’s excesses marring his complexion. ‘I’ve just
been up to ICU to check on little Amy, and guess what? She’s been moved to the kids’ ward.’

She tried to smile. It was great news after all, but right now it was more than she could muster.

‘I need to talk to you, Lila.’ There was an anxious edge to his voice

‘Can it wait?’ She simply wasn’t in the mood, wasn’t up to one of Declan’s let’s-be-friends lectures. Sure, they could be, would be friends, she was confident of that.

Just not today.

But Declan was adamant. ‘No, Lila, it can’t.’

Tossing her hot chocolate into a bin, she followed him the few steps to the courtyard, her courtyard, where she watched the sunrise, listened to the traffic. It would now for ever remind her of the day she’d lost the two people she cared most about.

‘I took Yvonne out last night,’ Declan started. His words were uneasy, his voice hesitant. ‘We had a long talk over dinner and I told her—’

‘I know you went out last night.’ Lila took a deep breath. ‘Look, Declan, this really isn’t a good time for me right now. If you’re happy with Yvonne then I’m happy for you, but I really don’t need the details—’

‘What are you going on about?’ He seemed genuinely bemused. ‘I told her about us.’

‘Us?’ Lila almost laughed. ‘What
us
?’

‘
This
us.’ Placing the bouquet on the bench behind her, Declan took her face in his hands and kissed her gently, slowly, tenderly. Pulling back just an inch, his words were soft. ‘The us that never would go away no matter how we fought it.

‘I told Yvonne last night that she had to move out—not tomorrow or anything so dramatic but at least before your mother’s discharged. I want you both to come and live with me.’

Lila shook her head, desperate to put him straight, positive that she must have somehow misheard. ‘You don’t understand…’

‘I know I don’t, Lila,’ he rasped. His haste to reach her, to put things right once and for all made him impatient to continue. ‘But I know that I love you, love everything about you. I’ve tried to get over you. I’ve tried for eight years and I can’t. I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the reason I can’t is quite simply because I’m not supposed to. We were meant for each other, Lila. And the more the years go by the more I see it. I’m sorry, so sorry if I caused you pain all that time ago. In my defence all I can say is that I didn’t mean to.’

‘I’ve hurt you, too,’ Lila admitted, while scared to point out her faults as if somehow it might force Declan to retract the delicious words he was uttering. ‘All the things you said about me not growing up, not supporting you…’

‘Couples row, people say things when they’re hurt. And I was hurt, Lila, so hurt. You wouldn’t let me near you, wouldn’t let me in. The only way you’d even consider accepting my help was if it was purely as a friend. The stuff about asking Yvonne out was just a guise, a guise to make you think I was over you. Then maybe you’d let me help you.’

‘You’re not sleeping with her?’

He laughed; he actually laughed at the very suggestion. ‘No way. I don’t want to come downstairs in
the morning and find my rabbit cooking on the stove! Whatever gave you that idea?’

‘You did.’ She was bemused, confused, but utterly giddy with love. ‘When I woke up and you were gone, I heard you in her room. You told me—’

‘What was I supposed to say, Lila? All that spiel I gave you about being friends didn’t actually translate to sharing a bed with you. Yvonne’s witch’s den seemed a safer bet. Still, I moved like a scalded cat the second she came home. Hell, if I’d stayed there a moment longer I could have had a lawsuit against me.

‘You still don’t get it, do you? I love you, Lila. I love the passionate way you care for your family. And loving someone means helping them to fulfil their dreams. If you want to look after your mum at home then you will. We will,’ he corrected himself. ‘But properly and with help. We’ll face it all together.’

She had waited so long to hear those words. Waited so long for a knight in shining armour to come along and lift her up, carry her clear from the endless load she bore. And though it was too late for Elizabeth, it wasn’t too late for Lila. The imaginary test, the hurdles she had put up—he had passed them all.

Surpassed them even.

And when finally he let her speak, when she finally told him the terrible news that had brought her out there, he held her in his arms and cried with her. Cried for Elizabeth and the sad, premature end to her life, cried for his Lila and the pain she was feeling and cried for all those wasted years.

‘There is something we can do for your mum,’ he said finally, holding her even closer.

Trust Declan to come up with a solution.

Trust Declan to make the blackest day of her life also the happiest.

Taking a seat by the bed a little later he held Lila’s hand as he spoke to Elizabeth. Told her that she didn’t have to worry, that Lila was going to all right, more than all right. That he would be there for her, take care of her, and always, always love her.

‘I promise, Elizabeth, I’ll make her happy.’ Looking up, he smiled with love at the brave face of Lila.

‘I let your beautiful daughter get away once and I swear to you I’m never going to make the same mistake again.’

D
ECLAN
took Lila to the Grampians. It seemed a strange choice for two such well-travelled people who had loved the glitz and glamour of sumptuous hotel rooms, marble bathrooms and five-star dinners.

But in Victoria’s west, with rolling mountains and native fauna abounding, they were able to relax and let the beauty of nature at its finest soothe away the hurts of the past, invigorate them for the future.

Not that they roughed it. The Royal Mail Hotel was arguably one of the Grampians’ finest, and they dined night after night in the luxury restaurant, returning to their chalet under the gentle gaze of the mountains, back to their tiny slice of heaven.