Accidental Reunion (11 page)

Still, she grudgingly admitted as she liberally sprayed her wrists and neck, the perfume was hardly for Hester’s benefit.

Making her way down the stairs, Lila brushed off Shirley’s flattering comment as she fed her sister her lunch. ‘You look fabulous, darling, just like the Lila of old, doesn’t she, Elizabeth?’

With a self-conscious smile Lila crossed the room. ‘Hardly, but I thought I’d better make a bit of an effort, I’ve got a few brownie points against me where Hester’s concerned. Here, let me give Mum her lunch. I’ve got a bit of time before I have to go.’

‘I don’t think pumpkin soup would go very well on that suit. Why don’t you go while you’ve got the chance? Surprise that boss of yours by being early for once?’

‘OK, then.’ Kissing her mother, Lila turned to her aunt. ‘Wish me luck?’

‘You don’t need luck, Lila, you’ll get the job on your own merits. But I’ll say it anyway—good luck, darling.’ Putting down the bowl of soup, Shirley pulled her niece into a warm embrace. ‘You’re a good girl, Lila, you always were. We’re all very proud of you whatever happens with the interview.’

Lila hugged her aunt back, closing her eyes as she did so. She knew Shirley meant well, but this interview had suddenly taken on monumental importance. She had to get this job, had to pull in some more money, there was no two ways about it. Today mattered.

*

‘Come in, Sister Bailey, and take a seat. Sorry to keep you waiting.’ Hester gestured to the chair as Lila walked in. The wait in the staffroom had been unbearable. Self-conscious in her suit, Lila had made small talk with the other applicants, her despondency growing as she’d listened to their qualifications and experience. And not one of them looked as if they’d ever been late for anything in their lives. It was almost a relief to escape to Hester’s office.

Only almost.

Declan gave a guarded smile as she sat down. He at least had the decency to look uncomfortable as she entered, but it did nothing to disguise the spark of admiration in his eyes when he saw her.

The chair Hester had hauled into the office for the interviews was way too low and instantly Lila regretted the short skirt, flashing rather too much stocking-clad thigh as she crossed her legs at the ankles.

‘Well,’ Hester began, her gaze flickering to Lila’s legs; her lips pursed as if she were chewing on a lemon. ‘It’s always rather
difficult
, interviewing current staff members for a position. However, it’s not only mandatory, it’s also merited. Particularly for such a senior position. There are a couple of issues I’d like to address in a formal setting before we make our decision.’

‘Of course.’ The bright smile Lila forced belied the dive her stomach had taken.

At first Hester busied herself with the basics—salary, duties, responsibilities—but all too soon the conversation turned.

‘My main concern, Sister Bailey, is that you are an extremely popular staff member.’

Lila looked her senior directly in the eye. ‘I would have thought that would have been an advantage.’

‘In some instances, of course. However, in the position you’re applying for there will be a need to discipline staff at times. Are you going to be able to do that?’

Lila took a deep breath. She had been expecting this question. As much as she wanted the job, there was no point in lying.

‘If there’s a problem I will most certainly address it, and when necessary take the matter further.’

‘But are you prepared to treat your colleagues as colleagues and not friends?’

Lila glanced over at Declan who was watching her
closely. Almost imperceptibly he gave her a small nod of encouragement. It was the encouragement she needed.

‘I don’t see them as being exclusive of each other. I believe—strongly, in fact—that the team works better as friends.’

Lila paused, not for effect but to gather her thoughts. ‘I know you and I don’t agree on this, Hester. And I’m not saying that I’m right and you’re wrong. We have different styles of management and in my case I work better and deal with staff issues better by being friends with my colleagues.’

‘What if you caught a
friend
stealing?’

Heavens, Hester was such an optimist sometimes! Lila took a deep breath, physically forcing herself not to roll her eyes. ‘Then, of course, I’d address it. Firstly it would depend on what was being stolen. Obviously drugs would cause me rather more concern than a couple of sticky plasters.’

Not the right answer! She watched as Hester’s lips disappeared into her face. ‘If everyone employed in the hospital stocked up their first-aid boxes courtesy of the hospital, where would that leave the budgets?’

‘Taking anything is wrong, of course.’ Lila added hastily before she continued her answer. ‘First and foremost I’d try to find out the reasoning behind the stealing and what had driven them to do it, and on the basis of that information I’d make my decision as to the appropriate action.’

Hester looked far from mollified by her response, and Lila frantically tried to think of a more suitable answer but one that didn’t compromise her beliefs.

‘What would be your priority?’ It was the first time
Declan had spoken, and Lila looked over at him again quickly, her brow furrowing at his question. But, like a mist clearing, she realised the appropriate answer he was feeding her.

‘My priority would always be the well-being of the patients and the safe running of the department. I would never compromise on that. I’m a nurse first.’

It was a good answer, or at the very least enough to set Hester shuffling the paperwork in front of her. ‘Well, Sister Bailey, I think we’ve covered everything. Dr Haversham, is there anything else you’d like to ask?’

Lila relaxed back in her chair a fraction, glad the painfully embarrassing procedure was coming to an end.

A foolish mistake.

‘With the other applicants we’ve discussed the impact such a demanding position might place on their personal lives…’ Lila felt her shoulders stiffen as Declan continued, his face impassive. ‘Or, more to the point, the demands their personal lives might have on this position. I’d like to hear from Lila if she’s given this any thought.’

Hester’s dismissive laughter should have come as a relief. ‘Oh, we don’t have to worry about that with Sister Bailey. She’s footloose and fancy-free.’

Lines she’d never before seen suddenly darkened in Declan’s forehead.

‘But surely her mo—’ The words died on his lips as he caught Lila’s anguished look from across the table.

Licking her dry lips, Lila broke in quickly. ‘As Hester pointed out, I don’t have a husband or children.
I’m more than able to cope with the demands of the job.’

‘Then it seems that we’ve covered everything.’ Hester’s face twisted into an attempt at a smile. ‘We’ve still got a few more applicants to interview, but hopefully we shan’t keep you too long before we let you know the outcome.’ Standing, she offered her hand. ‘Thank you for your time, Sister Bailey.’

‘Sure.’ The handshake was cursory, an obvious conclusion to the interview, but as Lila turned and offered her hand to Declan there was nothing perfunctionary about the hand that gripped hers.

Daring to look up, she saw the dart of confusion in his eyes, the dearth of questions, the utter despair.

Walking past the staffroom, it came as no surprise as he ran up behind her.

‘Lila?’ She heard the question in his voice but kept on walking.

‘Lila, please. We need to talk.’

Turning slowly, she shook her head. ‘There’s nothing more to say.’

‘There’s plenty. Lila, they don’t even know, do they?’ When she didn’t answer he continued, his voice thick with emotion, ‘They don’t know about your mother. You go on about friendship, about comradeship, and your own friends don’t even know what’s going on in your life.’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ Hitching her bag up an inch on her shoulder, Lila made to go, but Declan wasn’t finished.

‘Well, I do.’

He was almost shouting.

Anxiously she cast a look around. ‘You’ve got interviews,’ she said. ‘You can’t just disappear.’

‘It’s lunchtime. Look, why don’t we go to the canteen, grab something to eat and try to sort things out once and for all?’

‘I have to get home, Declan.’ His eyes stayed on her and she knew he wasn’t going to give up without making a scene. ‘Just for five minutes, then.’

The canteen was fairly quiet. Most of the lunchtime traffic had been and gone and they moved uncomfortably along the counter, pushing their trays without speaking. Lila put a limp-looking salad on her tray and a cup of coffee. Declan chose a giant chocolatechip cookie and a huge half-litre bottle of cola. ‘I’m here till five.’ He shrugged as he caught her surreptitiously watching him pile up his tray. ‘I need the energy boost.’

They found a table in the corner and busied themselves opening boxes and wrappers, spooning in sugar—anything other than look at each other.

It was Declan who broke the uneasy silence.

‘I’m worried about you, Lila.’

When she didn’t respond he continued, ‘I know until a couple of weeks ago I hadn’t seen you in ages, I know I’m not part of your life any more, but it doesn’t stop me from being concerned.’

‘There’s nothing to be concerned about.’

‘You’ve changed, Lila.’

She gave a hollow laugh. ‘I seem to rather clearly remember you telling me that the problem was that I hadn’t changed. I was still the immature spoilt brat you knew of old.’

‘Please, Lila, I didn’t come here to row.’

‘Me neither.’ Taking a sip of her coffee, Lila leant back in her chair. ‘So in what way have I changed?’

‘That’s what I’ve been trying to work out, but I can’t put my finger on it. You still like a laugh, you’re fun to work with, you’re actually a great nurse, the department really lifts when you’re in charge—’

‘But.’ He looked up sharply at her interruption. ‘I’m assuming there is one?’

‘Your sparkle seems to have gone.’ He grimaced slightly as he said it. ‘If that sounds really tacky I’m sorry, it’s the best I can do.’

‘Declan.’ With a sigh Lila finally looked up at him. ‘When we used to go out I was in my early twenties, I had a fantastic job, no responsibilities. My biggest decision was what colour lipstick to wear. It was pretty easy to sparkle then. But even then you never saw me at work, you just saw the lighter side of me. You’re seeing me now in charge of five staff and whatever patient comes through the hospital doors, I’ve got a sick mother, I’m eight years older…’

‘All of which I’ve taken into consideration, but it still doesn’t stop me from worrying.’ He hesitated before tentatively continuing, ‘Just how sick is Elizabeth?’

‘Why?’ Lila answered rudely. ‘Were you planning on sending a get-well card?’ He didn’t answer. In fact, he didn’t say anything, his question still hovering unanswered between them.

‘She’s not well at all,’ Lila responded finally.

‘Is she very confused? I mean, do you have to watch her all the time?’

Lila shook her head. ‘She’s a bit beyond that,’ she admitted reluctantly.

‘How far beyond?’

Her eyes travelled around the bland canteen, searching for a diversion.

‘Do you get any help?’

Her blue eyes finally met his, but only briefly. ‘Ted and Shirley have been great.’

‘I meant professional help. The district nursing service, carer support, that sort of thing.’

She didn’t like the way the conversation was heading. Didn’t like the probing nature of his questions. The truth, however rosily painted, could only lead to one conclusion. Elizabeth Bailey should be in a home.

Pushing away her uneaten salad, Lila picked her bag up from the floor. ‘Why the sudden concern about my mother, Declan? We’re not a couple. You made it clear the other night that you’re through worrying about me…’

‘We may not be a couple but we are colleagues. For heaven’s sake, Lila, we’ve got a few contacts between us. Maybe Yvonne could take a look…’

‘No.’ The word came out too loudly and a couple of curious faces turned in their direction. Flushing slightly, Lila lowered her voice. ‘It’s not as if you and Mum even liked each other. Why should things change now?’

‘That’s it, isn’t it?’ His eyes flashed angrily. ‘That’s the whole root of it.’

‘What?’ Lila shook her head, bemused, as he continued.

‘The fact your mother never did like me. It never sat right with you, did it?’

Lila shrugged then checked herself, remembering how much she hated that response in him.

‘No matter what I did, it was never quite good enough, was it? And you believed her when she said I wasn’t any good for you. You spent the whole of our relationship waiting for me to let you down, waiting for your mother to be proved right…’

‘I did not,’ Lila retorted furiously.

‘Yes, Lila, you did.’ Declan pushed his own plate away. ‘And the second I failed some imaginary test, the second I didn’t respond accordingly, you dumped me.’

For a second she thought he was going to walk out but he didn’t. Instead, Declan closed his eyes for a second, shaking his head slightly as if clearing his thoughts. ‘We didn’t come here for this,’ he said slowly, his voice even now. ‘Going over and over the past doesn’t solve anything. What we have to deal with is the here and now. How we’re going to work together, how we’re going to be colleagues and maybe one day friends even. But I can’t wave some magic wand and stop worrying about you, not notice the changes in you. And if I can help then I will.’

‘You can’t, Declan. And I’m not saying that because it’s you. No one can help. It’s my problem. Mum probably
should
be in a nursing home but I just can’t do that to her. It’s not going to go on for ever, I know she’s not going to be around for much longer. I just want to do the right thing by her for however long she’s got left.’ Lila’s eyes misted over. ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe I did put too much credence in what Mum said about you. Mum was let down badly when Dad left, and in some way I guess her distrust of men affected me, but—’

‘Let’s not go there, Lila.’ Declan’s voice was suddenly
gruff. ‘I really don’t want to argue any more. Will you at least think about talking to Yvonne? Surely some help is better than none.’ He glanced down at her hands as she poured yet another pile of sugar onto her spoon and slowly dunked it her coffee. ‘Why won’t you let us help you, Lila?’