Accidental Crush (25 page)

"Mrs. and Mrs. Johnson?" the doctor
says, scanning the parents.

Brian's parents
answer, "Yes?"

"We have good news and bad news."

His parents grab each other’s hands. I immediately look over at Todd and he stares back at me. We both want to hear what he has to say, but we are terrified since we know how bad Brian looked when they were putting him in the ambulance.

"He has a linear skull fracture." Everyone in the room
gasps, but the doctor continues unfazed, "Which means no bones were displaced. That is the most common type of skull fracture, and if you are going to fracture your skull, that's the one to get.”

"Is that the good news or the bad news?" Brian's dad
asks hesitantly.

"Well, we're not sure of the extent of the injury—if any—to his actual brain. So far he's responding well to tests, but he's still unconscious. He's suffered a concussion, as with any head injury, but as of now, the good news is there is no bleeding and very minor bruising to his actual brain. However, we need to keep watching him closely in ICU because
, with head injuries, things can change quickly. Right now, it's touch and go, but so far he's very lucky. I understand he's an athlete; I honestly think that's what saved his life, he's a real fighter."

"Can we see him? Do you have any idea when he'll wake up?" Brian's mom
asks, still squeezing her husband’s hand.

"That's the one thing that concerns us; he hasn't regained consciousness on his own yet. We had to sedate him to stitch up his head wound and we're going to keep him sedated to keep his brain activity to a minimum so we can continue to monitor him and make sure there’s no swelling. You can go in and see him soon..."—the doctor
scans the waiting room and then looks back at Brian's parents—“…Immediate family only tonight. We need to keep visits to a minimum while he's still being so closely monitored."

"I know you said it's touch and go, when will he be completely out of danger?" Brian's dad’s face
is full of concern.

"That's a tough question; I think we'll know a lot more in the next twenty-four hours. So far his brain activity is good
and we want it to stay that way. The good news is that, if something should change, we'll know right away. If all continues to go well, we'll try to bring him out of sedation in the next twelve to twenty-four hours; that will be the true test.” He pauses and looks around the room again. “Any other questions right now?"

"Yeah. Can he play in the state championship game in two weeks?" Barry Richards
yells from across the emergency room.

The doctor
laughs. "Let's take it one step at a time." Then he turns back to Brian's parents. “A nurse will be out soon once he's ready for visitors." Then he walks back through the "Doctors Only" doors.

"Well, that's not too bad," Gretchen's dad
says, nudging Brian's dad in the arm.             

"Yeah, if anyone can pull through this, Brian can," Ryan
says, hugging Brian's mom.

"It's true, what the doctor said, he's definitely a fighter!" Todd
agrees and hugs Brian's mom, too.

"Thanks, boys," she
says, rubbing both of their arms. "Well, it's a good thing his brothers are here to visit him." She smiles and winks at both of them.

The whistle from the slide of the "Doctors Only" doors interrupt
s them. This is the doctor from earlier and all parents stand up again.

"Mr. and Mrs. Parker,” he
says, looking right at Gretchen's parents. "She pulled through surgery like a champ. Her spleen was in pretty bad shape so unfortunately we had to remove it. The good news is that this was the only internal bleeding. She's in recovery now and, as soon as she's out, you can see her; probably in about a half hour. Someone will come get you. She also fractured both of the bones in her right forearm, but it was a clean break so no surgery was needed. She is in a temporary cast for now. There were a few scrapes and bruises, but nothing needed stitches.”

“So she’s going to be okay? There’s no more internal bleeding?” her dad
asks.

“Yes, she’s doing really well. We’ll keep monitoring her and she’ll need to stay in the hospital for a few days, but she’s done remarkably well tonight.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Gretchen’s mom says, hugging him as she cries happy tears for the first time tonight.

He
hugs her back. “You’re very welcome. I’m glad it’s good news!” he says with a smile and then walks back through the electric doors.

Everyone
starts hugging. All of the cheerleaders are elated, there are group murmurs of “Thank God!” and “I’m so happy!” breaking through their chatter. The mood of the room completely changes now that we have some good news. There is a collective sigh of relief felt among everyone. 

I
look at Todd and we both smile at each other. We don’t need to say anything out loud, we know exactly how the other person feels. There is still a lot of healing to do both physically and emotionally, but there will be a chance to heal and that's all that really matters.

Once again, the emergency room entrance doors open and in
walks Shane. He is with the really cute football player from the pep rally.
Interesting!
I start replaying our textversation in my head; maybe that's why he was so cryptic? Sid and I both run up and hug him. I feel better knowing he is here, even though I'm not sure he feels the same way, judging by the look on his face. 

"Ash, what happened to you?" Shane’s eyes
are filled with concern.

"It's not my blood," I
say in a lower whisper so the parents can’t hear.
I've gotta get better at answering this question
. For the first time in my life, I don’t care what I look like. I am surrounded by all the popular kids in school and I couldn’t care less what they think. It's funny how something like tonight can put what truly matters in perspective.

"Oh." Realization
washes over Shane’s face as he pieces everything together.

I
look down so I don’t start to cry again while I contemplate saying anything else to Shane. This already must be so difficult for him; he doesn’t need to hear any gory details. "Todd and I were there when it happened."

"Really? Are you okay?"

"Sort of." I try to blink back the tears I feel welling up.

Shane's eyes immediately
go to Ryan. "Was Ryan there, too?

"No." I
can't help laughing at the way he asks. Ryan does look pretty bad. "That's from the fight before the accident."

"Yeah, he looks rough. Any news on Brian or Gretchen?"

"Good news,” Sid jumps in. “Well, pretty good news. Brian fractured his skull, but it's a good fracture and Gretchen had emergency surgery to remove her spleen, but she's going to be fine," she says in all one breath.

"How is any of that good news? And what exactly is a good skull fracture?" Shane
asks.

"Well, that's what the doctor said. It could be a lot worse. Brian didn't need surgery, they just need to keep him in ICU." Sid
realizes how ridiculous “It's good news” sounds and how bad ”It could be worse” must sound to Shane. He knows exactly how much worse it could be, we all do.

"Shane, we have a more important question. Who is
that you walked in with?" I need to know and I want to change the subject.

Shane
smiles the biggest smile I've seen in a really long time. "Oh, that's Johnny!"

"
Oooh, Johnny!" I say playfully and then, thanks to the look on Shane's face, I realize Sid has no idea why I’ve said it like that.

"Yeah, Ash, Johnny is cute. You guys would be good together."
She is so oblivious.
I smile at Shane.

"Yeah, he is. What grade is he in?" I
ask, trying to sound interested.

"He's a sophomore. I can introduce you," he
says, mocking my fake interest. We all look over at the same time.
We really need to work on being subtle!
Luckily, Johnny is talking to one of the other football players and he doesn’t notice.

A nurse
comes out and she starts speaking loudly to get everyone's attention. "Both Brian and Gretchen will be able to have visitors soon, but unfortunately, it's immediate family only. Sorry everyone."

There
is a murmur of disappointment from the group and everyone slowly starts to disperse. They all come over to say goodbye to Brian and Gretchen’s parents, who hug each and every one of them. Todd and Ryan promise to keep everyone updated, it is clear they aren’t going anywhere.

In that moment,
I take one look at Shane and know he isn’t okay. I grab his hand and pull him around the corner where we can be alone. I sit down against the wall and pat the cold floor next to me so he will join me. 

"What's going on,
Shaney?" I look into his eyes, which are filled with pain.

He bit
es his lip and shakes his head. I can see tears starting to well up. The only time I ever saw Shane cry was at Roger's service.

"It's just really hard to be here." He
stops and quickly wipes his eyes with his sleeve, but he doesn’t look at me, his eyes stay on the floor. "I can't believe this is happening again. I keep thinking of Brian's parents getting the phone call, just like my parents."—he shakes his head again—"and now they don't even speak to one another. It can't happen again, Ash." He closes his eyes and he’s no longer trying to hide his tears, but as they fall, he quickly wipes them away. "I keep thinking he's coming home, he's just at school. I mean, I knew he was going away and I finally came to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to see him every day, but I never thought he was going away forever and I was never going to see him again. I need him. I miss him." Shane buries his face in his hands and rests them on his knees.

I
don’t know what to say, so I just listen and rub his back. I am really happy Shane is finally talking about this, I just wish it wasn’t another accident that brought it out.

“I love you, Shane," I whisper to him. "And I know Roger would be so proud of you." I
can feel his chest heaving, he is crying so hard. Seeing him like this should make me sad, but it actually makes me happy; he needs to let it all out. He’s been going through so much, more than anyone ever should. I know he loves my brother and Todd and even Brian, but they can never replace Roger; no matter how hard they try. They know that, I know that and Shane definitely knows that.

When he
finally looks up at me, his eyes are red and puffy and his cheeks are streaked with tears, but he smiles.

"Thanks, Ash.
I love you, too." He wipes his eyes and starts to laugh. "Great, now I have to ride home with Johnny looking like this."

"You look amazing." I hug him tightly and whisper, "Speaking of Johnny, whose team?"
 

He
whispers back, "Not yours!" And grins from ear to ear.

"Figures!" I
say acknowledging his perfection. "I can't wait to meet him!"

After Shane
leaves, it is only me, Todd, Ryan, Sid and all of our parents. Of course, RTS can’t leave without not so subtly reminding me that Todd is her boyfriend. She gives him the most overly dramatic kiss. It is ridiculous to do in front of his parents, especially under the circumstances, but I think for the first time she feels threatened by me; or maybe just the idea that Todd and I have gone through something traumatic together. I highly doubt she would think I’m a threat without us being thrust into a traumatic situation. I look over at Ryan and he is staring at his phone again. I know he is feeling extremely guilty and there isn’t anything I can do or say to change that.

“Hey,” I
say, trying to divert his attention away from his phone.

“Hey, Ash Bug.”

“Watcha doing?”

“Just reading a text from Blythe.” He
doesn’t look up from his phone.

“Oh, what did she say?”
Blythe!
I can’t believe she didn’t even cross my mind until now. "Does she know?"

"She didn't, but I just told her. I thought she should know."

"Yeah, of course, what did she say?”

“
She’s really upset, but we both didn’t think it was a good idea for her to come to the hospital. She asked me to keep her updated. I think she might be the only person on earth who feels more guilty than me.” His eyes don’t move away from his phone the entire time he is speaking.

I
don’t know what to say so I just hug him; it feels like that’s about all I’m good for tonight, but at least it’s something. As we hug, tears start falling out of my eyes again. I can’t control them tonight. It’s as if I saved up fourteen years of tears for tonight and, once I’ve released them, the floodgates are open for good. Ryan hugs me back tighter than I think he ever has in his life. His physical wounds aren’t serious, but I can feel how deep his emotional wounds are and I wish I could do something to help heal them.