Accepted Fate (57 page)

They've just passed around champagne for when the clock strikes twelve and our parents let us have one glass. It's eleven fifty nine and the countdown is taking place as everyone moves out onto the terrace. "Three, two, one. Happy New Year!" Everyone shouts in unison and the sparklers on the tables inside are going off. Breyson grabs me and kisses me as the fireworks shoot off in the sky popping in an array of colors and styles. There is so much passion behind his kiss. Everything blurs as the shouts take place around the terrace under the midnight sky and for now no one else is present with us; just me and my man. This is the best New Years of my life as well as the best year of my life. Nothing can stand to go wrong because everything is absolutely right.

CHAPTER 26

Kinzleigh

5 weeks later...

I wake up to a rumble in my stomach. Sitting up quickly, I throw my hand over my mouth hoping it will go away. I start to gag and jump out of bed. Running to the bathroom, I almost don't make it to the toilet before I begin emptying the contents of my stomach. After what seems like thirty minutes of hurling, I finally feel okay enough to leave the bowl of the toilet. Today is not the day to get food poisoning. I am riding with Breyson's parents to drop him off at the airport for the Superbowl tomorrow. It must have been something in mom's chili she cooked last night. I told Breyson I didn't feel well after I ate it and I guess now it's taking the effects.

Walking over to my bathroom sink, I turn on the cold water and splash it over my face. I still feel nauseous but it's not as strong. Opening my drawer, I dig until I find my Dramamine that I keep for motion sickness. Filling my cup with water, I take the medication. I don't feel like even thinking about food, but maybe I could keep down some orange juice.

Walking back into my bedroom, I pull a pair of Soffee shorts from my dresser and pull them over my underwear before walking downstairs. As I enter the kitchen, mom is toasting a bagel. "Good morning sweetie. You want a bagel? I have your favorite; strawberry nonfat cream cheese." Just hearing it makes my stomach churn.

"No thanks, I'm not feeling that great. I think last night's chili is disagreeing with me. I'm just going to have some juice."

Reaching in the cabinet, I grab a glass and walk towards the refrigerator to remove the juice and begin pouring it into my glass. Mom walks over to me and places her palm on my forehead. "I'm sorry sweetie. You don't feel hot, but you could have a touch of fever. Do you need to stay home today instead of riding with Breyson?"

"No, I'll be fine. Besides, I won't get to see him for a few days. He won't fly back until Monday and I'll be at school all day. I took a Dramamine. It should start working soon and I'm sure it'll go away." I tilt my head back and drain the contents of the cup. Still thirsty, I pour another glass.

"Okay honey. Why don't you go relax in a hot bath? That always makes me feel better when my stomach is upset. Promise me you'll take it easy today?" She looks up from smearing the cream cheese across her bagel and the smell is starting to make me sick again. I have to get out of here. I hate throwing up and I don't want to be hovering the toilet again. My throat is already raw from the first time. I nod and turn to leave the kitchen.

I did just as mom said and took a hot bath. It helped a lot in combination with the medicine. The nausea and vomiting has subsided. Thank goodness. I look in the mirror and smear my lips with my gloss before throwing it in my purse. Sitting on my bed, I pull on my gray Ugg boots over my leggings.

My door opens and Breyson walks in. "Hey beautiful. Are you ready?" Walking over to where I sit, he bends and kisses me on the lips.

"Hey babe. Yeah I'm almost ready. You excited about your trip?" He sits on the edge and pulls me to straddle him.

"I am, but it'd be so much better if you were there. You sure you don't want to go? I can still call Ryland and tell him you're coming with me. It's not too late." He pulls my earlobe in his mouth and begins kissing down my neck.

I can't think. My hormones are raging and he's barely touched me. "Breyson. I need you. Please."

He pulls his head back and looks a little stunned. He looks from the door to me, confused. "Baby."

"What?" I begin grinding on his lap, trying to get friction over my overly sensitized area.

"Are you okay?" He begins to harden beneath me.

"What do you mean?" Getting up, I walk to the door and lock it.

His eyes widen. "Your mom is downstairs. You know I'm not allowed in your room for long periods of time; especially not with the door shut. As much as I want to, I have a good thing going with your parents and I'm not looking to change it or piss them off."

Stopping before him, I push his shoulder, laying him down on the bed and climb on top of him. I really need him to quit being high and mighty right now. I need him inside me. He shouldn't have begun kissing me if he didn't want to finish what he started. Maybe it's my hormones fighting back because of his upcoming absence. Maybe it's because he looks incredibly hot right now. Whatever it is, I'm about to get it with his approval or not. My mother never comes in my room. She just calls me from the bottom of the stairs.

I begin unbuttoning his jeans. "Shut up. I need you. Now. You're about to be gone. Please." I give him the pouty lip that always wins and he places his hands on his face and exhales, shaking his head. His mind and mouth may be trying to fight it, but his body is betraying him. I begin rubbing against him again.

Removing his hands, I can see in his eyes that I've won. "Screw it. I can't tell you no. I don't know why I even try." He flips me over and my beautiful blue eyed boy gives in, making love to me until time becomes our enemy and we have to go. The next two days are going to be excruciating. Maybe I should have been the one to go with him. Now I have to tell him goodbye at the airport and that never seems to go well with us. Airports have never been our thing.

Breyson has a grin from ear to ear as he looks at me. I'm guessing he's still feeling the effects of our little bedroom time earlier. It's amazing how much better it can be at the risk of getting caught. We pull into the airport and his parents park the car. 

   We make it through security and to the terminal he has to be at to board the plane. I stand back as his parents tell him bye and a surge of nausea hits again.
Not now Kinzleigh. Breathe. Deep breaths and maybe it'll pass.
I continue trying to breathe and I can feel the vomit entering my esophagus. Crap! Holding my palm over my mouth, I turn looking for a trash can when I spot one a little ways behind me.

Taking off in a sprint, I make it to the trash can in time to hurl; over and over again. Maybe I have some kind of virus instead of food poisoning. This is freakin' embarrassing. I wipe my mouth with the sleeve of my long sleeve tunic when Breyson comes running to where I am. Grabbing my face, he looks me in the eyes. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you sick? I can cancel the trip and stay here. Nothing is worth leaving you sick. Not even the Superbowl."

His parents are now standing right behind him with a concerned look on their faces. "Kinzleigh, honey are you okay?"

"Of course. I just woke up with some kind of virus or food poisoning. I'm not sure which. If I don't get better, I'll go see a doctor okay? Don't cancel your trip, I'll be fine, I promise.

Breyson is staring at me. He looks worried and I can tell he's battling canceling his trip. I look from him to his parents. They are now looking at each other with a look on their faces like they are speaking in some kind of doctor code. Kind of weird but okay. Breyson's mom walks up to him and wraps her arm around his shoulders. "Honey, you go ahead and enjoy yourself. I'm sure Kinzleigh wouldn't want to lose all that money she's spent for you to go. I'll check Kinzleigh out and make sure she's alright. I'll treat her just like I treat y'all when you're sick. Your dad and I will be over here while you say your goodbyes."

They walk away leaving us to ourselves. "I can stay. I don't have to go Kinzleigh." He pulls in to kiss me and I purse my lips. I love him but there are lines I don't even cross. I refuse to kiss him with vomit breath.

"Don't be silly. I'll be fine. Don't get too close. I don't want you to get it too." He pulls me in for a hug and holds me tight. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I lay my cheek on his chest and take in his scent. I love the way he smells. It's a good thing I bought his brand of cologne to spray on my pillow at night while he's gone. "I'm going to miss you, Brey." A tear runs down my cheek, making me feel stupid. It's only a day for goodness sakes. This is ridiculous. What is wrong with me?

He pulls back and kisses me down the center of my face. "I'm going to miss you more. I love you. I'll come over tomorrow night when I get back okay?"

I laugh and push him away. "Go on. Get out of here. Have fun and take lots of pics for me, yeah?"

He begins backing towards the terminal. "Always beautiful." Right before he walks through the terminal he holds up his hand for me to see. My anklet is hanging from his fingertips. My heart melts. He kept it. Then I remember..."I love you too," I shout to him and he disappears into the terminal. "Be safe," I mumble to myself and that's when the nausea comes back. Not again. Maybe I should go to the doctor.

***

We pull into Breyson's parents house and his dad gets out but doesn't kill the engine. I'm not sure what we're doing here. I figured they would take me home first. His mom changes to the driver's seat. "Kinzleigh…sweetie. Why don't you come sit up front. We're going for a ride."

"Okay. Where did you have in mind?" I change seats as instructed.

"We're going to have a little talk; woman to woman." I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel like I'm getting in trouble for something but I have no idea what. She pulls out of the drive and begins down the road.

We're both silent for a good ten minutes before she breaks the silence. "Kinzleigh. I'm going to say something and I want you to take into consideration everything I say okay?" I nod because I can't think of anything to say. I'm too nervous.

"Kinzleigh I want you to know that I've grown to love you as my own child. I think you're a great kid and I'm glad Breyson met you. I know I'm his mom but this conversation is female to female okay? I won't judge anything you say and I want you to talk to me as if I'm your doctor and you're my patient. During the time we talk, forget I'm Breyson's mom." I'm beginning to get really confused. That is, until she turns into a clinic. One that I recognize by the name listed on the sign; Obstetrics and Gynecology. My hands start shaking. My breaths become short and my heart starts racing uncontrollably. She parks and kills the engine. "Come on, let's go. Trust me okay?"

We exit the car and she takes me in the side entrance of the building where she uses her key code to get in. We walk up a flight of stairs and into what I assume is her office. The building is dark and no one else is present. "Have a seat honey."

She takes a seat behind her desk and I sit in one of the chairs in front of it. "I just want to ask you some questions for now. Okay?" I cannot believe I'm even here. I can't breathe and I'm freaking out. Why am I here? Then five little words answered it all. "When was your last period?"

My eyes go wide and I swear my heart stopped beating. It was like someone hit me over the head with a common sense stick. What scares me more than the question is the answer. I pull out my cell phone and can barely touch the right keys I'm shaking so hard. "December seventeenth was the first day of my last period, I think." A lump forms in my throat as I answer the question. This cannot be happening. How did I not notice I missed a period? This is so unlike me.

Her face never alters like I expected it to. "How long are your cycles?" She places her arms on top of her desk.

I place my hands over my face and begin to cry. I can't believe I was this stupid. "Twenty eight days and I've never missed one." That answer opened the flood gates. I'm horrified. My boyfriend's mother is figuring all this out because I was too stupid to.

She walks over and kneels in front of me, pulling me in her arms to comfort me as I start to get panicky. Maybe this is just a coincidence. "Why don't we be sure before we jump to conclusions? It's February the third so you missed your January period. There are other reasons for a missed period other than the obvious. I'm going to get you to do a test for me okay?"

"Okay." I look up at her and she stands. She leads me down a corridor into a bathroom and hands me a small, clear cup. I cannot believe my boyfriend's mom now knows without a shadow of a doubt that we have sex. This is the most humiliating thing I've ever been through.

"I need you to urinate in this cup for me. Make sure you get enough of a sample that the test is accurate. When you get done, place the cup in the window and I'm going to go into the lab and get set up to run the test since it's an off day. When you're done, you can have a seat back in my office and I'll meet you there."

I shut the door and do as she instructed. I feel like I'm in a bad dream and can't wake up as the climax happens. Is it wrong to pray this is negative? First rule of thumb after this is over: to get on birth control. I don't care what I have to do to hide it from my mom, I'll do it. I'll pay for it myself if I have to. She doesn't believe in birth control because she believes in abstinence, but she also doesn't believe in having a baby out of wedlock either. Not to mention, having a baby for me is not even an option. My cheerleading career is just starting to take off. I can't ever go through this again.

Sitting in her office, my knee begins bouncing from the nerves and my hands get sweaty. I feel like I've been sitting here for an eternity. This is the most nerve racking situation I've ever gotten myself into. My mother would kill me if she knew what I was doing right now. Not only do I know better, but this will bring so much shame to my family. My mother is loving and caring but very set in her values. She has been beating me over the head with them since I was old enough to understand.