Accepted (2 page)

Smiling, I followed them out the door.

****

During the rest of that first day and evening, I learned a lot.

I followed Amber and Randi down the hall to the room Randi shared with a girl named Becca. Becca had just arrived on campus. As Randi introduced us, I again got the feeling that Randi was the leader of this particular pack.

Becca was a lovely girl, much quieter and more subdued than Amber and Randi, but just as beautiful. I had definitely fallen in with the attractive crowd, something that had never happened to me before. Not because I’m not attractive, I am in an average kind of way, but because I’d never actually fallen in with
any
kind of crowd before.

Amber was a tiny, perky blonde. Everything about her was small…small feet, small hands, and small features. She reminded me of the perfect, stereotypical high school cheerleading captain. Pretty and compact, she was adorable. Becca was small, too, not tiny like Amber, but petite. She had big brown eyes lined with unimaginably long, dark lashes. Her eyes were beautiful; they would have been her best feature if not for the curly, shiny, dark brown hair that fell halfway down her back. Her hair looked like it belonged in a shampoo commercial and perfectly framed her delicate face.

Of the three of them, though, Randi was the most beautiful, but in a very different way. Both Amber and Becca’s beauty seemed relatively natural — neither seemed extraordinarily put together above and beyond the norm. They were both just regular, pretty girls. Not Randi.

Randi was impeccably put together, so much that she looked like she just stepped out of the pages of a magazine. She was tall, at least half a foot taller that my own five-foot-four-inch frame, and she was skinny to an extreme—almost too extreme. She made herself look even taller and thinner by wearing the highest heels I’ve ever seen in person. Her beautiful, long, shimmering red hair was made even brighter and shinier with artfully placed blonde highlights. Somehow, even after her long drive here today and moving in all her things, her makeup was just as perfect as I assumed it had been when she first applied it this morning as she got ready for her day.

She was stunning, but it was a
calculated
stunning.

I was the complete opposite of Randi. I was pretty, in an everyday, average kind of way. I’d never owned, let alone applied correctly and worn, any real makeup. The closest I’d ever gotten was my grand mom’s pink lip gloss, which was not a good look for me, and chap stick. My hair was dark and wavy, and even though, compared to someone like Randi, it seemed plain, it was shiny and healthy. I’d always considered it one of my best features. I was thin, but not very, and a little bit curvy. I wasn’t well-put-together or glamorous like Randi, but I was pretty enough, and I was perfectly okay with that.

The three girls were part of a larger group of close friends, who had all met last year and chosen to live together in this hallway and on this floor of this particular dorm. Everyone here had chosen to be here. Everyone but me.

****

As the hours went on that first day, I began to realize that my first instincts about Randi were correct. She definitely seemed to be the leader of the group, the most popular, or at the very least, the most outspoken and flamboyant. She was definitely the most glamorous. Everyone in their group gravitated towards Randi, and everyone we passed knew her. When Randi spoke, everyone listened, and when she had an opinion, everyone agreed.

And if Randi was the female leader, then Colin, the beautiful boy who had helped me up the stairs earlier, was her male counterpart.

I learned all of this that first evening when, after Amber, Randi and I helped Becca unpack her belongings, we decided to go to the campus cafeteria to have dinner. Once that decision was made by the girls I stood with, it was run by Colin and his roommate, Brett. Once the five of them agreed — I was just going along with whatever Amber said at that point — everyone in the hall simultaneously agreed and, suddenly, everyone was starving.

We trudged to the cafeteria in a group and when we got there, Amber led me to all the food stations, showing me around. Once we got our food, we headed to the seating area. There, I had my second encounter with my stairway savior of the day.

Amber and I had gotten to the table first, followed closely by Becca. We sat down, me in the middle, flanked on either side by the two girls. When Colin came to the table, he sat directly across from me. It was then that he noticed me.

"Ashley! How are you? I take it you found your room okay then," he said as he looked up at me and gestured toward Amber, a friendly smile on his face. "I figured she’d be living with you when she mentioned she was on our floor."

Randi had joined us by now. She looked at Colin with narrowed eyes.

"Wait, you two know each other?" she asked, with something a little more than just surprise in her voice. It wasn’t the friendliest tone, and it unsettled me a little.

"We met in the stairway," I volunteered quickly. "He helped me carry my suitcase up the steps." I’m not sure why, but my tone was placating. For some reason, I felt like I’d upset Randi and — again, instinctively — I knew that was bad.

Randi looked at me for a long moment, her chin resting on her fist, and then turned to look at Colin. Her face broke into a breathtaking smile as she turned to him, which then turned into an adorable pout.

"Well, where were you when
I
was moving in, Haney?" Her voice was husky, seductive, as she called him by a name I didn’t know, presumably his last name. I watched, transfixed, on the instant change in her demeanor. Whatever she was doing was both calculated and working.

Colin reached over to tug at a piece of her hair and replied, "I promise, next time you have heavy-lifting, I’m all yours." He smiled at her. His whole face lit up when he smiled. She practically melted. I practically melted, and he wasn’t even looking at me.

Randi held his gaze just a second too long, then turned to the rest of the group and deftly changed the subject.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" She looked around at everyone for an answer. When she looked to me and caught my eye, I thought I saw something on her face that I was sure to have imagined.

When she looked to me for my answer, and caught my eye, Randi looked smug.

****

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. Later that night, when Amber and I were in our room preparing for bed, I finally worked up the courage to ask her a question that had been running through my head since dinner.

"Hey, Amber, so what’s going on between Randi and Colin? Are they, like, a
thing
?" I tried to sound nonchalant.

Amber turned to me, and I noticed that her look was disapproving.

"Why, Ashley? You don’t like Colin, do you?" It wasn’t so much a question as it was an accusation.

"No," I replied, shaking my head and doing my best to look taken aback by the question. "I was just wondering. At dinner, they seemed to know each other well." I shrugged.

I didn’t know how else to answer her. I tried to sound non-committal, uncaring, but the truth was, I think I
did
like him. I couldn’t be completely sure; I’d never liked a boy before—I’d never really had the opportunity—but since I first met him in the stairway, hours ago, he’d been in my head. Every time someone walked by our door, I looked up, hoping it was him. Every time I heard a male voice in the hallway, I hoped it was him. When we all decided to have dinner together, I secretly thrilled at the idea. And when he’d chosen a seat that was directly across from me, and noticed me again, I’d been ecstatic.

And while all of this was unfamiliar territory for me, I’m pretty sure it meant I liked Colin.

The only thing detracting me from the excitement of what seemed like my first real crush was Randi with her narrowed eyes, unfriendly tone, and smug look. I assumed it would be a problem for me to like the same guys as Randi, and it looked, judging from Amber’s reaction, like I’d assumed correctly.

"Oh," she breathed, looking relieved. "Yeah, they go way back, actually. They’re from the same town. They have gone to school together their whole lives."

Okay, so that’s not so bad. They’re old friends, nothing more. Randi was just being overprotective of a friend. I can deal with that. It’s not like she’s in love with Colin.

"But, between you and me." Amber leaned toward me and continued in a hushed tone, "I think Randi’s totally in love with him."

Never mind.

"But he doesn’t really like her that way. They dated, or something, back in high school. They even went to their senior prom together, but nothing’s gone on here since we started school. I know they hung out over the summer, though. Well, at least, that’s what
Randi
said."

Okay, then, nothing’s going on with them. He doesn’t like her that way. It’s not like no one else is allowed near him just because she secretly likes him and they went to prom together.

"It sucks, because he’s totally gorgeous and super smart and the nicest guy in the world. He’s, like, perfect, and no one else is allowed near him because Randi staked her claim first."

And never mind.

Chapter Two

It was two days later, the day before classes officially started, when I finally had a chance to get away and really reflect on my new situation. After lunch, I pried myself away from Amber, Randi and Becca, with whom I had become inseparable, and went for a run.

Running had always been the one constant in my life. It was the only hobby I carried with me wherever I lived. The strange cousin I spent a year with in Florida declared once that my running was symbolic for my life — that I was always running from something. I disagreed. When I ran, it was more like I was running
toward
something, something better. I was hoping this new situation
was
that something.

It certainly seemed to be.

I’d spent every minute of the last two days with Amber, Randi and Becca and a revolving door of other kind new friends, including Colin. They took me on tours of the campus, pointing out the buildings that would house my classes. They showed me the gym, the library, the bookstore. They even took me out to dinner, not on campus, but out in Chicago. We’d stayed up late each night talking. They had become my first real girlfriends, better than family because they actually wanted me around. It had been, quite possibly, the best two days of my life.

For the first time, I had friends and I fit in. I had my first crush, which was getting stronger by the hour, even though I wasn’t allowed to do anything about it. And for the first time ever, I wasn’t waiting for it to end, to be shipped off to the next town and to the next life.

And I was happy.

****

I was also late. That evening, the resident assistants of our dorm had orchestrated a series of get togethers for each of the floors in the residence hall.

When I got back from my run, I jumped in the shower, already running behind. Since, for the first time since arriving here, I was the only person in the bathroom, I decided to enjoy a long, hot shower. Rushing through a shower, knowing twenty girls are waiting, usually puts a damper on its relaxing properties. By the time I was done, dry, and dressed, everyone from my hall had already convened in the common lounge area down by Colin’s room.

I walked in, looking for Amber, but she was seated at the far end of the room. Not wanting to call attention to myself by walking in front of the resident assistant, Janie, who was explaining the evening’s festivities in the center of the room. I plopped down on the closest empty sofa and tuned into Janie as she explained the activity.

We were expected to partner up with a fellow resident, not our roommate, and interview each other. It was a classic getting-to-know-you exercise. When Janie was done explaining, people began to get up and move around the room, pairing up. Instead of joining them, I just sat in my seat, staring down at my hands in my lap. Once again, I felt like I didn’t fit in.

Everyone here knew pretty much everything about each other, everyone but me. I hated being the odd man out. I assumed everyone would pair up with their friends to make this mandatory process bearable, and so I was genuinely surprised when I both heard and felt someone join me on my sofa.

I curiously looked up from my lap, and to my surprise, Colin was seated next to me.

And, seriously, I knew I wasn’t allowed to like this boy, but he was so gorgeous that every time I looked at him — which was as often as humanly possible — my stomach did little flip-flops. I’d never been attracted to anyone like this before, and he only made it worse by being genuinely nice, interesting, and friendly. He was the perfect guy, well, except for the fact that he was off-limits.

"Hey, Ashley, how you doin’?" he asked, bringing me out of my inner rant. He smiled at me.

I smiled back, blushing, then replied, "I’m good. How ‘bout you?"

"Very good." He looked around the room and gestured at everyone as he continued, "so I figure, I know everyone here pretty well, except for you, so…want to be partners?" He smiled again.

Of course, I did.

"Sure," I replied, nodding, trying to seem nonchalant.

I didn’t dare look away from him, around the room. I could almost feel the stares on my face, burning into me, and I didn’t want to catch Amber's, or worse, Randi’s eye. I was sure the two of them were working together, so either way, I was going to know how both of them felt about this by the time I went to bed tonight. Randi hated Colin paying attention to anyone but her, and Amber hated when Randi was unhappy, so I was willing to guess that neither of them would be happy.

"So, we have to ask each other questions, right?" Colin’s voice broke through my thoughts. "Do you want to start, or you want me to?"

He was so ridiculously good-looking. It was distracting — so distracting that I couldn’t think of one question to ask him, not one. I just sat there, staring at him.

Finally, I pried my eyes away from his face and stammered, "Y-you can go first."