Absolution

“Leave me alone!”

She whirled to run from the room, but he shot out a hand and grabbed her upper arm, spinning her around. Facing him, her knees began to tremble.

Part of her wanted to hit him, and it horrified her.

She jerked her arm from his grasp and took a step back, panting, on the verge of losing control and scared to death she might.

“I’m not leaving you alone here,” he snarled, jaw tensing. “Not this time.”

A bitter laugh escaped her. “Is that right? Well that’s ironic,” she sneered. “Just when I’m finally able to let you go, you decide to barge back into my life and not leave me alone.”

He stared at her, a muscle flickering in his lean, bearded cheek. “You think I wanted it this way?”

“Oh, believe me, this is the
last
thing I think you wanted. But I’m still not going.” She was being a complete bitch, but she couldn’t help it.

“Don’t force my hand, Em,” he warned.

She closed her eyes, her stomach so tight she thought she might throw up. She couldn’t go overseas. He didn’t understand the extent of it.

Heartsick, she fought to keep her dignity. “Just go, Luke. Take the others and go to Beirut, but leave me alone and give me what little peace I still have.”

“Jesus Christ, listen to yourself!” He threw his hands up in frustration. “Peace? You want to stay here and risk sacrificing yourself for a little comfort?

For God’s sake, since when have you become a martyr?”

Her eyes flew open. She stared at him, unable to stem the sheen of tears as the knot in her throat threatened to choke her. A tortured sob caught in her chest as she confronted him. “Since I found out I’m dying!”

Praise for Kaylea Cross

“The author provides lots of tension and edge-of-your-seat action. The final resolution is a true nail-biter. This was an extremely enjoyable story and I recommend it highly.”

~The Romance Studio (rated 5 Hearts)

“I rode the roller coaster ride of Rayne and Christa and have never enjoyed being on the edge of my seat like this before. The author illustrates not only the scenery perfectly but also the personalities of the characters. I was so impressed by the depth of the story and how each different layer was carefully pulled together in the end. Truly one of the most remarkable stories I have read. Kudos to Ms. Cross for a story well-told.”

~Simply Romance Reviews

“OUT OF HER LEAGUE is a tantalizing story that has well-developed characters plus lots of mystery, suspense of the ever-present stalker, and the suspense of how Christa and Rayne can find common ground in order for them to share the phenomenal love each feels for the other.

“Ms. Cross’ description of settings brings the locations to life and reveals even more about the characters. Her smooth, easy-flowing writing is a joy to read, AND the love scenes are truly love scenes, not just sex—ah!”

~Long and Short Reviews (rated 4.5 Books)

ABSOLUTION

by

Kaylea Cross

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental.

Absolution

COPYRIGHT  2010 by Kari Lea Walker All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author or The Wild Rose Press except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Contact Information: [email protected] Cover Art by
Nicola Martinez
The Wild Rose Press

PO Box 708

Adams Basin, NY 14410-0706

Visit us at www.thewildrosepress.com Publishing History

First Crimson Rose Edition, 2010

Print ISBN 1-60154-862-1

Published in the United States of America
Dedication

To my boys and hubby—

still love you to infinity (and beyond!).

And for Katie, whose support and critical eye make me a better writer.

Thanks, hon!

Charleston, SC

Late November

Emily Hutchinson lifted a hand and tucked the last few strands of her thick brown hair beneath the plastic cap the nurse had given her. The mirror above the sink of her private hospital room showed how pale her skin was. Her green eyes seemed too big for her face, and were full of shadows almost as dark as the ones beneath them. The thin gown she wore fell shapelessly around her thin frame. The two ties at the back let in a cold draft that went up her spine like the rake of icy fingertips.

Her day of reckoning had come.

“Emily?” the nurse called from outside the bathroom. “Are you nearly finished?

She took a deep breath, staring at her reflection and the fear in her eyes. She’d already lost her reproductive organs two years ago. After this, would she still be a woman? “One second.” When she was sure she had her composure, she stepped out of the bathroom.

The nurse, Patti, gave her a sympathetic smile.

“They’re ready for you.”

Emily eyed the gurney that would take her down to the OR and fought back the wave of dread and grief swamping her. Stupid, to be this afraid now. She’d always known this day would come, as it had for her mother. And yet, with the moment of truth at hand, it felt like her veins were filled with ice water.

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When Patti held out an encouraging hand, Emily took it and climbed up onto the gurney, maneuvering her IV pole around to the side. Shifting to lie on her back, her limbs were leaden. But her mind screamed.

“Your hands are freezing.” Patti added an extra blanket and tucked them around her before coming around to offer another smile. “Everything’s going to be fine. Jim’s the best.”

Yes, he was. Emily had known the surgeon for more than a dozen years, and there was no one on earth she trusted more for this operation. Knowing he would be with her in the OR brought her some measure of reassurance, but what was coming afterward scared the living hell out of her. The thought of what would happen after the surgery coated her skin in a cold sweat.

“Here we go,” said Patti. “You just rest while I take you downstairs.”

“Sure.” At least her voice sounded normal. Calm, collected. As though she wasn’t embarking on the fight of her life. No, that wasn’t true. She’d begun that two years ago, only she hadn’t realized it at the time.

The gurney’s rubber wheels squeaked and squealed on the linoleum floor as it traveled out of the room and into the garishly lit hallway. Behind their station desk, the nurses looked up from their work when she passed to smile at her.

“See you when you get back,” one of them said.

Emily raised a hand in reply, her throat so thick with unshed tears she thought she might choke on them. The terrible void of the unknown yawned before her. She wouldn’t know what Jim found until she woke up in recovery, and once she did, she wasn’t sure how she could face the rest of it. As terrible as the surgery was, this was the easy part, and she knew that all too well. From here out, things 2

Absolution

got much tougher.

And sometimes, they became impossible.

Forcing the sickening thought away, she closed her eyes and concentrated on taking slow, deep breaths to calm her nerves. A soft ding told her they’d reached the elevator, and the metal rails of the gurney clanged against the door on the way through.

“Sorry about that,” said Patti.

“It’s okay.”

The doors closed with a dim swoosh, then the motor hummed as they descended. When it dinged again, she opened her eyes as the doors pulled apart, revealing her friend Anne waiting in the hall. She came straight over.

“Hi, Em,” she said, taking one of her chilled hands.

Emily squeezed back. “I thought you were away this week.”

“Except for today. The rest of the week, I’m staying with a friend.” She winked. “What, you thought I’d let you go home alone with no one to take care of you? As if.”

The tears Emily had fought burned through her resistance. Pressing her lips together, she put her other hand over her eyes.

“It’s going to be okay, Em.” Anne’s grip was warm and firm. “Nothing’s going to happen to you on my watch.”

A soggy laugh escaped. Anne was like that.

Protective and fiercely loyal, even though they were only casual friends. “Thank you.” It seemed completely inadequate, but it was all she had.

“Don’t mention it.” Anne glanced up. “Ah, here comes Doc Hollywood now.”

Emily turned her head as Jim strolled up, tall and handsome in his pale blue scrubs, his clear, gray eyes full of warmth when he smiled at her. “How are 3

Kaylea Cross

you feeling, Emily?” He took Anne’s place and helped her push the gurney through the double doors of the OR. “Fine. Just want this to be over.”

“Understood.” He guided the gurney next to the operating table so the nurses could transfer her.

“We’ve got the A-team assembled for you here this morning,” he said, reaching back to tug his mask into place and tying it behind his head. His wedding band flashed in the bright lights, and for a second her eyes stayed there.

Jim and his wife had been happily married for over thirty years. The same as she and Luke would have been if he’d stayed.

She cleared her throat. “I appreciate it.”

All too soon the anesthesiologist bent over her, his brown eyes looking into hers from behind rimless glasses. “Want me to give you a sedative?”

“No, thank you.”

“Okay, everyone,” Jim announced, all scrubbed in as he stepped in next to her. “Emily’s one of our own. Let’s make sure she gets our best.”

The team assembled around her and her calm facade began to crumble. Tremors started in her fingers and spread to her hands, then down her arms and neck, until they wracked her whole body.

Her teeth chattered. Jim took her free hand when the anesthesiologist pushed the cocktail of drugs into her veins. It burned all the way up her arm, each centimeter of progress a separate torture as it traveled toward her heart. She sucked in a deep breath and fought back a grimace, but failed.

“Almost done,” Jim said, holding her fingers tight in his. Someone placed a mask over her face and she pulled in a couple of breaths. An awful pressure squeezed her head as the anesthetic took hold, making it feel like her head was being crushed in a vise.

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A frisson of panic took root and she shook her head sharply, her body fighting all of it despite her attempt to stay calm.

“Easy, Emily.” Jim maintained the steady pressure on her hand and kept talking to her in his low, calm voice. “Don’t fight it, just let go. We’re going to take real good care of you.”

Her eyelids fluttered as the drugs finally did their work. She knew they would do everything they could for her. Anne would stay with her for a few days when she got sent home. But after that...she was on her own.

****

Next Day

“Sir? Someone is on the satellite phone for you.”

Releasing his grip on the loaded pistol beneath his lumpy pillow, Farouk Ahmed Tehrazzi peeled his heavy lids apart and studied the man who had taken him in. Hazel eyes regarded him from the doorway of the crude bedroom the man and his wife had vacated for his use.

“Thank you. I’ll take the call.” He slid his hand out from beneath the pillow.

His heart pounded with anticipation. The rush of excitement helped to dull the exquisite agony in his belly as he sat up. The square of gauze taped over his new surgical incision was stained with blood. He’d popped two of the staples holding the wound together during his frantic escape over the Afghani border.

He took the phone from his host with a grateful nod and the man left. Tehrazzi brought the handset to his ear, conscious of the debilitating weakness in his muscles. His whole body hurt from the fever—his immune system’s way of battling the peritonitis caused by his bodyguard’s knife.

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Kaylea Cross

“Hello,” he said in Pashto.