Absolutely Unforgivable (18 page)

A really crazy-looking all girl band took the stage next. The lead singer had long brown hair with the ends died purple and hot pink. The drummer had a hot pink Mohawk and was covered in tattoos. The other three girls in the band had quite a few tattoos also.

When we made our way back to our specially reserved table, Brick had buckets of beer waiting for everyone and a round of shots which we all quickly downed. The all-girl band on stage was really killing it. They were pretty good but I didn’t really recognize any of the songs they played. Still, the crowd seemed to like them a lot.

The night went by quickly. Before I knew it, the fireworks were exploding overhead. I leaned back into Billy’s arms as I watched the show overhead. But as I did I felt his eyes boring into me. I’m not sure he ever took his eyes off of me that entire time. He never said a word, just stared at me. I could feel the heat of his breath on my neck and could tell his breathing was getting heavier. It was arousing and I felt myself get caught up in his desire.

I turned my body so that I could face him. My body tingled, and my head was spinning. I couldn’t think straight. He put his hand on my face and I looked down at his lips while licking mine. The sexual tension in the air was thick. At that moment I wanted him more than I wanted anyone or anything in my entire life.

And then, as I leaned in to kiss him, my phone started buzzing and I pulled back. It took me a second to realize what it was that I was hearing. When I did realize what the noise was, I grabbed for my phone and looked down at the screen. It was Jeromy texting me, “Happy 4th of July baby. I love you. I miss you.”

I jumped back, quickly readjusting my body with my back to Billy so that I could continue to watch the rest of the fireworks show as waves and waves of guilt flowed over me.
What did I almost do? What the hell is wrong with me? Here Jeromy is thinking of me, sending me “I love you” messages and I’m about to make out with his best friend. I am officially the worst girlfriend ever.

When I was a child, I would dream of how life would be when I was all grown up. I was sure that one day I would meet the perfect man, who was handsome and strong yet still gentle and kind. He would have some sort of fabulous job and together we would live in a big house. I may not have pictured Jeromy’s face specifically but in every way he was my childhood dream, this perfect man that, together, I would have this perfect life with. And now that I have exactly what I always wanted, all I can do is think about what I can’t have.

After the fireworks show, I found our waitress and ordered a few more drinks. I wanted more than anything to drink away the horrible thoughts in my head. As I was throwing back shot after shot, I suddenly became amused by Bree who was softly singing, “One drink, two drinks, three drinks, four.” I couldn’t get what she was singing out of my head and I burst out in laughter. Bree took her own shot off of the table and walked over to me. She pushed back my chair so she could fit her body onto my lap. Once she had firmly positioned herself on top of me, she grabbed the back of my hair and pulled my head back, then poured the drink into my mouth. Some of it spilled over and she slowly licked it off of me.

“Okay, girls, let’s try and behave. You are starting to draw a crowd,” Billy said as he tried to separate Bree and me. I think I sensed a bit of agitation in his voice, but I was having so much fun I didn’t really care.

Before long it was time to go back onstage. The boys were busy setting up when Bree came up to me. “Wow that is so intense.”

I looked up at her, with my brow furrowed, having no idea what she was talking about. “What is?”
Did she mean our little drinking game?

“Billy. The way he looks at you. It’s like ... I don’t know. The way he watches you always. It’s like he’s your own personal bodyguard and he’s ready to jump in front of a bus for you or something. It’s really intense. Sexy but intense.”

I glanced over at Billy and she was right. At that very moment he was watching me. Thinking back he did that often. There was something arousing about knowing Billy was always watching me, there to protect me and that I was never alone, as he was always there for me, making sure nobody was ever going to hurt me. I think if it was anybody else I might be completely creeped out but with Billy it’s different. I trusted him and I knew he was just trying to protect me.
No. This had to be wrong. I had to be mistaken.
But still I couldn’t think of a single time tonight where I had been alone.

The realization of Billy’s watchful eyes sent a surge of electricity through my body. I liked this but still I would need to test this theory out and see if it were really true. I turned my head and saw Audrey near the back of the stage talking with Erica, Darla and Starla. I sashayed my way over to her and quietly asked her if my shimmer paint was still holding up. I spun around in front of her, giggling, and then she came up to me and forced my head back. She licked the front of my neck while Erica licked the side. “Oh yes, it is holding up nicely. And it tastes oh so good too,” Audrey said.

I squealed loudly and within seconds Billy was at my side, with one eyebrow arched upwards. “Problem, ladies?”

They released their grip on me. “No. They are just tasting my shimmer.”

Billy took me by the hand and led me back to the front of the stage. “Stay here and try and behave yourself.” Next he brought Bree and Mindy up to stand next to me. “Your three try and keep it clean.”

Bree laughed, grabbed my hand and Mindy’s, and bounced up and down. “Isn’t this exciting? I’m so happy to be here with you tonight. This is so much fun, don’t you think?” She never really gave you time to answer before she was off on to the next sentence.

Bree was a sweet girl but she tended to talk a lot. While Bree and Mindy were going on and on about God only knows what, I would occasionally glance over at Billy and each time found he was looking at me. Bree was right; he did have an intense watch over me. It was so exciting.

Soon the music started up. They were all on fire. Travis and Zander were even more animated than normal as Billy sang
Never Again.
Their energy was electrifying and the song was hauntingly beautiful. Well, beautifully tragic. Mindy, Bree and I stepped up our act and danced seductively to the music.

The boys rocked out a few more fast songs that lit up the whole place. Everyone was having a great time. Then it happened. I can still barely believe it. I was standing in the middle, with Mindy and Bree on each side. Billy had been singing the Nickelback song
Feelin’ Way Too Damn Good
. Towards the end of the song he turned his head to me and flashed his adorable smile.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, but still continued my dance with Bree and Mindy. He looked down at the crowd; then his expression changed. He put his hands down off of the mic and said, “What the fuck?” It echoed loudly as he said it and a hush came over the audience. He was looking at someone in the crowd who was standing near the stage just below me. I glanced down to see who it was that had upset Billy so much. There stood a man with his cell phone, trying to take a picture up my skirt.

I jumped back, horrified, and when I did, Billy jumped off of the stage and started pounding on him. “What the fuck do you think you are doing? What the fuck is wrong with you? You stupid piece of shit!”

Zander and Travis dropped their guitars, jumped off of the stage, and started fighting him as well. They were just wailing on him, beating him over and over again. Travis was shouting, “That hot piece of ass is our piece of ass. You don’t fuck with that!” A few seconds later Bran had jumped off of the stage and jumped in the fight too.

My heart was pounding and my mind was racing. I was trying to figure out a way to stop this. I looked to Mindy and Bree and they just stood there as frozen in fear. On the other side were Darla and Starla cheering the fight on. “Yeah! Fuck you, perv! Kick his ass, baby!” Erica and Audrey were cheering the boys on as well.

The man was on the ground now, covering his face and Billy was off to the side kicking him. “You sick fuck!”

I screamed “BILLY!” and as he looked up to me I jumped down off of the stage, into his arms, hoping he would catch me. He did and as I landed in his arms I said, “Please don’t.” He held me tightly, but catching me caused him to lose his balance and he fell backwards and my head hit the corner of a nearby table. And then nothing. I was out like a light.

As I started to come to, I heard voices. I think it was Mindy, crying. “Is she going to be okay?” Then another female voice. I don’t know who it was, maybe it was Bree. “She will be okay, Mindy. It’s all going to be okay. She’s going to be fine. You’ll see.”

I could feel the weight of someone else’s hand on mine but I wasn’t sure who it was. I tried to open my eyes but they were so heavy. I moved a finger and then turned my head towards where I felt the person who was holding my hand.

I slowly opened my eyes, expecting to see Jeromy sitting next to me but he wasn’t. It was Billy. He had a concerned look on his face. He looked horrible. His eyes were bloodshot and he had dark circles under them. I noticed he had a small cut above his left eye with dried blood still on it. I reached up to try and touch it. I was weak and could barely speak but I managed to squeak out, “Billy.”

His eyes widened and he smiled. Mindy and Bree let out a squeal. “Oh my God! She’s awake.” Billy ordered them to go get the nurse and they shuffled out of the room and within a few minutes they were back standing at the end of my bed.

I looked around trying to take in my surroundings, still unsure of where I was. I turned my head back to Billy and quietly said, “Jeromy.” His eyes darted to the ground. I looked at Mindy and Bree and they too were looking away. “Where is Jeromy?” I asked, almost frantic.

Mindy said, “Tell her Billy. She’s my friend. I’m not going to lie to her anymore. Either you tell her or I will. She deserves to know.” Mindy sounded annoyed, very unlike her. She was normally so cheery. I don’t recall ever seeing her upset before or even the slightest bit agitated at anyone.

Billy squeezed my hand. “Not right now. She’s just waking up. Give her some time to come to first.”

What are they talking about? Where is Jeromy? What is going on?
I tried to sit up and find my phone but the second I did my head screamed in pain and I felt like I was about to pass out again. Billy jumped up and tried to get me to lie back down. “Don’t sit up. It’s still too soon.” He turned back to Mindy and sniped, “Where is that nurse?”

Within seconds she appeared in the room. “Well, hello there. I’m so happy to see you are finally awake. You had us all scared there for a bit.”

I tried to open my eyes again and look up at her. “How long have I been out?”

She looked at her watch and said, “Going on about four hours now.”

Four hours? I have been passed out for four hours? Oh God, what happened?
I tried to think back about the events of the night. It was all still a blur and the pounding in my head was killing me.

“Okay sweetie, I’m going to need you to sit up now. We are going to take it slow.” The nurse gently helped me sit up and then started checking my vitals. She looked at the bump on my head. “You are going to have one big bruise there.”

I reached up but immediately regretted that decision. It was still very sore to the touch. The nurse turned towards Mindy and Bree and told them that they should be heading out soon, because I needed my rest. “Okay, we promise, we’ll go soon.”

“I’ll let you visit for now but don’t overdo it and if you need anything just push the call button.” The nurse pointed to a red button on the side of my bed and then walked out of the room.

My mouth was dry so I asked if I could have a drink. Billy turned to a small table behind him and poured me a glass of water. After taking a few sips I looked around for my phone. I saw it on the same table with the water and tried reaching for it, but as I did a sharp pain shot through my head. It was like how brain freeze felt when you drank a smoothie way too fast. I groaned in pain, squinted my eyes, and reached up to grab my head.

Mindy came to my side, stroking my arm. “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Stacy. I know you must be in horrible pain. I wished there was something I could do to make you feel better.”

“Can I have my phone please?” I begged, my voice still weak and shaky.

Mindy looked to Billy and he shook his head no but as if to purposely defy him she walked over to the other side of the bed, jerked it off of the table and said, “Here Stacy,” as she put it on my lap. Mindy walked back to the other side of the bed, where she was standing before, and bent over. “What are you trying to find? Is there something I can help you with?”

I didn’t answer. I clicked the brown little
Find Friends
button on my phone. I selected Jeromy’s name and waited for the purple flashing dot to show me where he was. I truly expected it to light up over Pinehurst, Texas on the map. But it didn’t.

What I did see was something that would change everything in my life. Jeromy wasn’t in Texas at all. He was in Nevada, more specifically Las Vegas.

“I’m so sorry, Stacy. I wanted to tell you,” Mindy said. But I didn’t respond. Instead I just laid back down on my pillow and closed my eyes. I think it was just too much for my brain to process. I just suddenly felt so tired and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and go to sleep.