Absolutely Unforgivable (16 page)

I was in a hurry to get to the bathroom so that I could lock the door behind me; I needed just a moment to myself to calm down, but I wasn’t fast enough and before I could slam it shut Jeromy had his foot in the door.

“Baby please, I have to go. I have about three million reasons why I have to go.”

“Don’t baby me! And I don’t care about the money. I just want to be with you. I want you to be here with me and I don’t understand why I can’t go with you.”

I probably wouldn’t have reacted in the way that I did, because we’ve spent time apart before, but something about the way he said
wives can’t go
really bugged me. It was like he was trying to say that other women would be there, like mistresses or hookers or something. I was probably just overreacting but I knew he wasn’t being honest with me. I knew something else was going on that he wasn’t telling me and that was what was getting to me.

I just met his mother. This should have been a huge step forward in our relationship. But it’s not. This news of his trip takes us two steps back.

He put his arms around me and held me tightly. “Please don’t cry, Stacy. Please. I love you.” I looked up at him, still tightly locked in his arms, but I didn’t say a word. I buried my face in his chest again for a moment and then Jeromy heard me sniff and pulled back to look at me. His eyebrows creased, and he asked, “Are you going to be okay?”

A few more tears toppled out but I did my best to say, “Yeah. I will be fine.” He pulled me back into him for another tight and reassuring hug, rubbing his hands up and down my back, trying to calm me down.

“I love you so much, Stacy. I hate seeing you like this.”

I looked up at him, while he looked down on me. He had just love and warmth in his eyes and I found it hard not to believe every word he was saying. He lifted me off of the ground as he hugged me tightly and began kissing me passionately. He lifted me up to the bathroom sink as we continued to lock lips.

Our bed was only a few feet away, in the next room, but in the heat of the moment it didn’t seem to matter. He took me right there on the bathroom counter.

Eventually I made my way back downstairs. I wanted to apologize to Billy for my rude entrance; but the place was quiet. He and the band must have already been at Rowdy’s for their gig.

The next morning I got up early to see Jeromy off. Before leaving he told me he left me some money on the nightstand. While I appreciated the sentiment, it still for some reason, made me feel kind of cheap and dirty, considering what we had just done the night before in the bathroom. It didn’t sit well with me how easily he just threw money at problems and expected them to go away.

However, today’s problem was mine, and my not wanting him to leave. But it’s too late; he is gone and I’m alone. I became overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness and despair.

Then for some reason my mind flashed to him saying he left me money and I got agitated. Sometimes Jeromy treats me as if it is my job to just sit around the house and look pretty for him when he has time to spend with me -- As if I shouldn’t speak unless spoken to. Like maybe I was just a doll to him that he took out and played with when he had time and then put back on the shelf, to wait patiently until he has time to play with me again.

I wonder how long I’ll be his favorite toy. Over the last year as I’ve noticed a pattern with Jeromy and his former girlfriends. I’ve learned a lot about them since he’s still friends with quite a few of his exes. He would lavish them with money and gifts, like he does with me. Then one day, I guess when he gets bored of them and is ready to move on to the next, he helps them get some great job. He either teaches them to do what he does or uses his connections to find a good job with another company. And then they are over and he can be satisfied that they are taken care of, at least financially.

Despite their breakup, I get the feeling that almost every one of his exes are still madly in love with him and that if at any moment Jeromy was to ever even hint that he would take them back, they would drop whatever they were doing, or dump whoever they were with, and run to him. Jeromy had this way of taking hold of people. His smile is infectious. But it’s really more than his smile; it’s his presence, his aura, his very essence. When he is around, you want to bask in the warm sunlight that surrounds him. I guess I can imagine that would be hard to let go of.

I wonder if I will be like they are when Jeromy moves on from me? Will we still be friends? Will I still secretly long to be with him years from now, even after I’ve moved on and started a relationship with someone else? I cringed at the thought. I don’t want to be like those girls. That’s just sad. Just thinking of them makes me feel awful.

I shook my head as if I can physically force these thoughts out of my head. I know that I’m just being silly, insecure because I’m upset that Jeromy has to work this weekend. I know that Jeromy loves me and I know he isn’t one day suddenly going to get bored of me and just toss me aside. I’m ashamed of myself for getting so worked up over it all.

With Jeromy gone, I made my way back upstairs to find the money he left for me and put it away. It’s not that I didn’t trust anyone in the house but I just didn’t the idea of money lying around. I was surprised to find the “some money” Jeromy left for me was actually about a thousand dollars in a large stack of twenty dollar bills. What in the heck did Jeromy think I was going to be doing this weekend that I would need that kind of cash?

My irritation soon went away when I walked into the kitchen and Mindy’s smiling face came barreling towards me and she jumped on me for a hug. “Oh my God! I’m so excited! Tonight is going to be so awesome!” That girl was always so damn perky, even this early in the morning. How did she do it?

I glanced over to Billy who was walking my way with a glass of orange juice in hand. “Hey,” he said as he handed it to me. I thanked him and then went to sit down at the kitchen table. Mindy followed me, never straying more than a few inches from my side.

“I’m sorry Jeromy couldn’t be with us today but you know that’s totally okay because we are going to have so much fun without him. It’s so going to be his loss. He has no idea what he is going to miss.”

Mindy is normally a sweet girl and very cheerful, but something about this whole thing didn’t feel right. It felt a little forced. I get the whole bright-eyed and bushy-tailed thing, but this was something else altogether. I looked over to Billy, who by now was leaning against the kitchen counter, drinking coffee. He didn’t say anything; he just shrugged and looked back down to the ground.

Mindy didn’t stop talking the whole time. “So you know that lady who did our hair and makeup at Rick’s before?”

I nodded letting her know I remembered who she was speaking of but I didn’t get a chance to actually say anything because Mindy was so excited she didn’t take more than a breath before continuing on.

“Well I got her card that night and gave her a call and set up an appointment for us to go see her today so she can do our hair and makeup. Isn’t that a great idea? But if we don’t hurry we are going to be late. Oh my God, this is going to be so much fun!”

Mindy led me upstairs to find something to wear and then we were off to meet this makeup lady. When we got there the makeup lady asked if we had anything in mind but I really didn’t. She told me not to worry. She had something that would be perfect. Trusting that she knew better than I did about hair and makeup, I relaxed and let her take charge.

That was until she pulled out a paintbrush and a strange bowl of gold thick liquid. “What’s that?” I asked as I sat up in my chair eyeing the strange fluid cautiously.

“Don’t worry. It dries clear. It’s just a body paint. It’s going to make you look fantastic. You will look like your skin shimmers in the sun. The boys won’t be able to resist you.”

“Will this rub off on people who touch me or my clothes? What if I sweat? Will it stain my skin?”

“It’s okay, sweetie. Don’t worry. You are going to look great. This stuff dries clear so even if it does rub off a little on your clothes you won’t even notice anything more than a few sparkles.”

“But what if I get hot and sweaty? Is this stuff going to run down my body?”

“No. It’s water resistant. You could go swimming and this stuff would probably hold up. Well at least it would for a short bit. I guess if you stayed in the swimming pool long enough the chemicals would start to break it down. But no, your body heat isn’t going to matter.”

“How do I get it off afterwards?” This whole thing was making me a little nervous. I had never had anyone paint my entire body before. What if it didn’t come off?

“That’s simple. You soak in a bathtub that you’ve mixed this stuff in,” she said as she handed me a large blue bottle. “This will remove the paint from your body with ease. So see? You have nothing to worry about, so relax and let me finish. Here, stand right here.”

She moved me over to stand under some lights that reminded me of heat lamps and then she painted my entire body from head to toe. The bright lamps not only helped me stay warm while I stood in front of her completely naked so she could paint all of me, but it also served to help set the paint to my body.

As the stuff finally dried she brought me in front of the mirror to check it out. My skin looked amazing. It was if I had a deep dark suntan that literally shimmered. I looked like a suntanned version of Edward from Twilight.

By the time we got back from having our hair and makeup done, I realized four hours had passed. I couldn’t believe it took so long. The band was already on location setting things up. Billy knew how much we would be drinking that night so he sent a car to pick us up. It was a big, four door Lincoln town car. It wasn’t as big as a limousine but it did still look a lot like one.

As the car dropped us off at Bimbo’s the driver handed us his card and said that whenever we were ready he would be standing by for our call to pick us up. I tucked his card in my purse and headed toward the crowds. Darla and Starla found us rather quickly. They had three friends with them. The first girl she introduced me to was Erica. She looked like she might have been part Asian. She had black shiny hair and large breasts and was really tall, easily towering over the rest of us. She also had a perfect hourglass figure. The next girl was a redhead named Audrey who had porcelain-like skin and loads of red curly hair. Her bright green eyes shone as she smiled with her full, red lips.

The last girl was a perky blonde named Bree. She was quite a bit shorter than the other two girls and had the cutest face. She had wide brown eyes, long blond hair, and a cute little button nose. I had heard the phrase
50 watt smile
before but until I met Bree I never really got what it meant. She looked adorable and that matched her equally adorable personality.

I had always considered Mindy perky, but Bree was in a class all by herself. She bounced up and down as she flung her arms around Mindy. “Oh my God! I’ve missed you so much. I’m so glad you are here tonight. Wow you look so totally hot. Oh my God, I’m so jealous.”

Bree then turned her attention toward me. “And you. I really need to speak to you if you don’t mind.” She locked her arm in mine and started walking with me as we made our way to the band. She leaned in as if she had something really serious to tell me. “I was just kind of hoping you would do me a favor.”

I looked over at her, wondering what in the world she wanted from me. I didn’t even know her. “You see,” she said as she sighed and stopped walking. She looked me up and down. “I was kinda hoping you would stand in the background and maybe give the rest of us a chance to find a man. With how amazingly hot you look, the rest of us don’t have a chance of getting a man’s attention.”

I looked at her trying to figure out what was going on. She did have a dead serious look on her face but no way could she really mean what she just said. Then she burst out laughing and hit my arm playfully. “Silly! I’m just teasing.” As she bounced her way back over to Mindy she said, “I just love her!”

I looked around just a bit still trying to figure out where Billy was, but he spotted me first. He took one look at me covered in the head to toe shimmering body paint that the makeup artist had applied, and his mouth dropped open and the microphone he had in his hand dropped to the floor. It let out a loud
thump
, as it hit the ground. This got the rest of the band’s attention and mine. I walked up to the stage just in time to hear Travis say, “Holy fucking shit.”

Billy didn’t say a word, he just stood there like a statue watching me walk onto the stage. His eyes were intently watching my every move.

“Hey there, rock star. You getting everything set up?” I purred.

He paused for just a moment as if thinking of something to say and then, just as he always did, he tilted his head back and said, “Hey”.

Bree and Mindy walked up on stage next and then Darla, Starla, Erica and Audrey soon followed. We hadn’t told Billy of our plan to dress alike previously, we wanted it to be a surprise and he did indeed seem surprised. It took it a moment for it to register as his eyes darted from girl to girl, taking in all that stood before him. Finally he came to and a big smile worked its way across his beautiful face. “You did all of this for me?” He had such a boyish charm.

It had really been no effort at all, but by the way he reacted it was like we had offered to give him a kidney or something. Billy grabbed my hand and pulled me a little closer to him as he looked me up and down. “You look gorgeous,” he said and then he winked at me. I immediately transformed into my shy yet flirty mode as I smiled back at him as I plucked up the courage to kiss him on the cheek.