Absolutely Normal Chaos (18 page)

“Well, God,” I said. “Was she mad? I bet she was really mad. Wasn’t she? She didn’t even know that you were Mr. Furtz’s son?”

He said, “Nope. She didn’t know. But I think she was a little relieved.”

“
Relieved
?”

“She said odd things had been happening. First, right after Mr. Furtz died, a letter arrived for him that said, ‘Dear Charlie, You don’t have to. Sincerely, Radene.’ Mrs. Furtz thought he had been seeing some other woman. Then I gave her the ring, and she knew it was Mr. Furtz’s. He had always kept
it in this little box on his dresser, and he told her it was from an old girlfriend. He never wore it. She couldn’t figure out how I got it. She thought I
stole
it. Can you imagine that?”

“Didn’t she want to know why Mr. Furtz never told her about you?”

“When I told her that Mr. Furtz only just found out himself—that I was his son—right before he went in the hospital, she said that she knew he would have told her soon enough. And when I got ready to leave, she said, ‘I’m just glad to know that there’s a little more of Charlie left in the world now that he’s gone.’”

Can you imagine that? It made
me
cry.

So. We sat there a long time. I felt real bad for Carl Ray. Why did Mr. Furtz have to die right after Carl Ray found him? Finally, Carl Ray started the car again, and when we pulled into Alex’s driveway, I asked him where he was going, all dressed up. Carl Ray said, “To the cemetery. I want to talk to my—uh, my father.”

Well, I started bawling like mad, and Carl Ray had to pat
me
on the shoulder. Then I asked him if he wanted me to come with him, but he said, “Nope.”

When Alex answered the door, he just stood there. He looked at me as if he’d never seen me before.

I thought I was going to die. Oh boy, I thought. He doesn’t like me anymore. Then I thought, I look terrible from all this crying and he’s thinking I’m uglier
than he remembered. Then I thought, He’s going to tell me it’s all over. We’re finished.

He seemed so
nervous
. I thought, Sure, he
ought
to be nervous. He’s going to tell me it’s all over and maybe he thinks I’ll punch him or something.

“Come on in,” he said.

On the antique side of the room was Mrs. Cheevey, and on the modern side was Mr. Cheevey. When they saw us, they jumped up.

“So who’s going to start?” Mrs. Cheevey said.

We looked at her. Start what?

Then Mrs. Cheevey said, “Okay, okay, okay. Let’s start with Mary Kay. Oooh! A rhyme:
Okay
, Mary
Kay
. Ha, ha, ha.”

“It’s Mary
Lou
,” Alex said.

Then, all of a sudden, I started talking. I was so upset about Carl Ray, I had to tell someone. So I told them all about Carl Ray and Mr. Furtz. I went on and on and on. I told them everything. They kept saying, “Poor Carl Ray,” and “How astonishing,” and “Poor Mr. Furtz,” and on and on.

And after I finished babbling away like an idiot, I felt better.

Then Alex said, “Want to go see my fishing lures?”

The funny thing is Alex really
does
have a collection of fishing lures. We went out into the garage to look at them, and then it happened. The Big Event.

He KISSED me!!!!

Sighhhhhhhh.

Right there, in the garage, beside the fishing lures. He just leaned over and kissed me. It was simple as anything. Still, I was glad I had practiced. And you know what? It didn’t taste a
bit
like chicken.

Sighhhh.

After the kiss, we looked at some more fishing lures. It was a little embarrassing, if you want to know the truth. I am sure we were both thinking, Wow! We did it! We kissed. Wow! And there we were saying things like, “Oh that’s a nice lure,” and “Here’s my favorite,” and all that sum and substance. Then, right before we went back into the house, we kissed one more time. I started that one. I figured maybe it was my turn. Is that how it goes?

Sighhhhhh.

Finally Mr. Cheevey took me home, and right after I got home, Carl Ray returned and told everybody at my house his whole, long, sad, complicated story.

I thought they were going to keel over at least a dozen times. Carl Ray didn’t cry again, but everybody kept telling him how sorry they were about Mr. Furtz. It was as if Mr. Furtz had just that very day died all over again. While I was sitting there listening to Carl Ray, I kept looking at my parents and I decided I was going to pay more attention to them from now on. I really am. You know what Carl Ray said? He said, “I’m lucky, actually. I still have a real father.” And we
all knew exactly what he meant. Uncle Carl Joe
is
his real father because, as he says, a father is someone who raises you and takes care of you.

I kept thinking about this time when I was much younger. I was lying in bed one night, feeling really sick. I must have been moaning or something, because my dad came in the room. I told him my stomach was going crazy. He asked me if I was going to throw up, and when I said, “Maybe,” he said I should sit up. And then, before I could even get to the bathroom, I started throwing up, and do you know what he did? He put his hands out to catch it. I threw up right into his hands. And I remember thinking, even though I was only about seven years old at the time, Wow, only a mother or father would do
that
.

And I’m sure Uncle Carl Joe has done lots of things like that for Carl Ray.

Tuesday, August 7

I still can hardly believe yesterday. When I woke up this morning, I had to go back and read last night’s journal entry to be sure I hadn’t imagined all of it.

King of Kings!

I sure had weird dreams last night. In my dreams, everybody kept getting all mixed up and running together. My father turned into Uncle Carl Joe who turned into Mr. Furtz who turned into Mr. Cheevey.
Mrs. Cheevey turned into Mrs. Furtz who turned into Aunt Radene.

Beth Ann called here a million times today while Carl Ray was at work. She wanted to know where in the world Carl Ray was last night, and she wanted to know how long he was gone and why he didn’t come over to her house and on and on and on. I didn’t tell her any of the
news
; I figure Carl Ray will do that soon enough. I just said I wasn’t my cousin’s keeper. That made her mad.

I couldn’t see Alex today (groannnn), but I’ll see him tomorrow.

Sighhhh.

Wednesday, August 8

Saw Alex tonight!!! Brain is complete mush as a result!!!

Two more kisses.

I LOVE ALEX CHEEVEY!!!

Thursday, August 9

Alpha and Omega, school starts again in three weeks! How did that happen??? Where has summer gone???

Saw Alex again tonight. Two kisses. Sighhhhhh.

Friday, August 10

Couldn’t see Alex today, but he invited me to a picnic with his parents on Sunday. He invited Carl Ray too, but Carl Ray got a letter from his other father, Uncle Carl Joe, and Uncle Carl Joe wants him to go home this weekend. He wants to talk to him.

I refused one hundred percent to go along with Carl Ray this time. Dennis is going to go. Poor thing. And I am not going to warn him about snappers or Booger Hill or the outhouse. He wouldn’t believe me anyway, and he might as well find out the hard way.

Beth Ann is a basket case. Carl Ray told her on Tuesday night about Mr. Furtz being his father and all, and Beth Ann called me on Wednesday to ask if it was true. She doesn’t think it’s neat
at all
. She thinks it’s sort of disgusting, and she told Carl Ray that. So Carl Ray didn’t see her on Wednesday or Thursday.

So then Beth Ann called me about a million times on Wednesday and Thursday to ask why Carl Ray hadn’t called her. Honestly. When I told her that Carl Ray was going to West Virginia this weekend, she started sniffling. How could he
do
that? How
could
he? And on and on.

Then she told me that she was going to another GGP
pajama party on Saturday. I pretended I didn’t hear.

Then she told me she had seen Derek-the-Di-viiiiine. Remember him? Her old gorgeous boyfriend? She saw him at the A&P. He was with a “tacky” girl in a “tacky” pink sweater and a “tacky” pair of slacks.

I had this terrible feeling that Beth Ann is the kind who would drop Carl Ray in a minute and go back to Derek-the-Di-viiiiine. She’d better not, that’s all I can say.

Saturday, August 11

Oh, dreary day. Raining and pouring outside. Carl Ray and Dennis are gone. Mom made me go through all my old school clothes so she could figure out what I would need for, ugh, school in September.

I finished the
Odyssey
today. Sort of a strange ending.

Sacking the Suitors

Of course, Odysseus sacks all the suitors and hangs the maids who didn’t conduct themselves very well in his absence. Odysseus’s dog recognizes him before his wife does (honestly!). In fact, Penelope is going to make him sleep by himself until he goes on and on about their bed that he made with his own two hands and all. He goes
into every single detail about how he made it, and finally Penelope believes that he is really Odysseus, her husband, and she goes all soppy over him
.

Then, just when you think everything’s happy and peachy again, a bunch of the suitors’ relatives come to battle with Odysseus. More bloody battles, until Athene swoops down and says, basically, “Quit fighting or Zeus is going to be mad,” and so they stop and that’s the end
.

I was sort of sorry it was over, to tell you the truth. No more rosy-fingered Dawn and swooping Athene and one-eyed monsters and disguises and revelations. Sigh
.

I’ve started calling Alex “Poseidon (King of the Sea),” because of his fishing lures and all. The only thing is, ole Poseidon doesn’t have a girlfriend (like Antony and Cleopatra, etc.), so Alex was having trouble trying to think up a nickname for me. I told him I wouldn’t mind being called “Athene,” because, after all, she is a goddess. Heh.

Sunday, August 12

My brain is three hundred percent mush—partly from being with Alex and partly from being with the Cheeveys all day. I’ll tell about it tomorrow.

Monday, August 13

So. I’ll start with yesterday. Lordie, Lordie.

We all went to Windy Rock. Alex and I took a long walk and climbed up to the actual Windy Rock. We found a place in the grass, and it was so nice there just sitting in the grass, with this little wind blowing all around us and the sky real clear and the sun warm on our arms and legs.

Sighhhhh.

So, let’s see. Carl Ray and Dennis got back from their trip. You should have heard Dennis talking about it. He liked the outhouse just about as much as I did, and while he was there, he went swimming in the swimming hole and Lee Bob scared him talking about the “snapper,” and sure enough, John Roy took Dennis up Booger Hill, and sure enough, John Roy took him all the way up to the cabin, and sure enough, when they got there John Roy started screaming, “Convict!” and took off and Dennis got lost. Dennis also said that Carl Ray drove like a maniac and they were lucky to get home alive. Does all of this sound familiar?

I asked Carl Ray about his father (the Uncle Carl Joe one). He said everything was much, much better. Carl Ray told Uncle Carl Joe what he had told us about being lucky that he still had a real father. And Uncle Carl Joe said he was happy to hear that and he
would always be there when Carl Ray needed him.

Then Carl Ray wanted to know if Beth Ann had called, so I told him all about her eight million calls. Carl Ray went to the cemetery again last night, and he must have come home very late, because I didn’t even hear him come in.

At dinner tonight, Carl Ray casually mentioned that Mrs. Furtz had asked him if he would like to live with them.

DAD
:
What???

MOM
:
What???

MAGGIE
:
What???

DENNIS
:
What’d he say? I missed it! What’d you say, Carl Ray?

ME
:
Mrs. Furtz wants to know if you’ll go live with them? With the Furtzes?

DENNIS
:
What??? Is that what he said?

ME
:
Well, you’re not going to do that, are you, Carl Ray?

DOUGIE
:
You’re going to leave?

TOMMY
:
NO! NOT LEAVING!
(Starts crying like mad.)

DAD
:
Why don’t you all just give Carl Ray a chance to answer?

MOM
:
Now that’s a good idea.

ME
:
(to Carl Ray)
Well?

DENNIS
:
Well?

DOUGIE
:
Well?

CARL RAY
:
I told her I’d have to think about it. She said she’d like to have a man around the house, and I could kill spiders and help out and get to know my sort-of-brothers and my sort-of-sister.

DAD
:
Oh.

MOM
:
Oh.

TOMMY
:
NOT LEAVING! NOT LEAVING!

Now, you know what? A month ago, if someone had asked Carl Ray to leave our house and go live elsewhere, I would have jumped up and down for joy; I would have turned cartwheels; I would have been as happy as a clam in seaweed. But the funny thing is when Carl Ray said that about Mrs. Furtz asking him to go live there, I was mad at her. Who does she think she is, all of a sudden deciding to take Carl Ray like that? And what about Uncle Carl Joe? How would Mrs. Furtz feel if somebody decided to just up and take Cathy or Barry or little David away?