Absolutely Normal Chaos (13 page)

Here is something for my manual: When the guy puts his arm around the girl while walking along, the girl might find it more comfortable to also put her arm around him at this time. She can put it sort of across his back. It is a little difficult to walk this way, and you won’t want to walk very far like this, but it’s a neat thing to do. The girl will find it difficult to think of things to say during this time, but the boy will carry on about something or other (basketball, for example), and the girl can get by with saying, “Mmm” or “Ah” or “Oh?” This way she can concentrate primarily on not tripping.

When other people do these things, it looks so
easy
. Don’t let that fool you.

Enough!

I leave for West Virginia with Carl Ray the day after tomorrow. Groannnn.

Temptations and Choices

Book Twelve of the
Odyssey:
Wow! What an action-packed chapter. First, Odysseus and his men pass by the Sirens, who bewitch everyone who comes near them with their singing. Clever Odysseus blocks up his men’s ears with wax. He wants to listen, though, so he has his men tie him up to the
mast and orders them not to untie him, no matter how hard he might beg
.

If this is a metaphor, I think that the Sirens represent sexy women who tempt men (like Eve with Adam?). I don’t think I am a Siren yet. I can hardly speak when I am with Alex, let alone sing
!

Then Odysseus’s ship has to go between these two dangerous obstacles: One is Scylla, a horrible monster with twelve feet and six necks and six heads and three rows of teeth in each head, and she eats men from ships. The other obstacle is Charybdis, a whirlpool that sucks up whole ships. Odysseus can’t get through without going close to one, but finally he decides to risk Scylla. Scylla snatches up about six of Odysseus’s men and eats them up. I think that maybe Scylla and Charybdis represent two difficult choices, and that you have to take the choice that offers least harm. Maybe? Does that sound right
?

Thursday, July 26

Ohhhhh, I have to leave tomorrow to go with beefbrained ole besotted Carl Ray.

And Beth Ann has been calling here all day, going on and on about how she can’t
bear
to be apart from him and how I should remind him every day about, her and on and on and on.

And Alex and I spent about four hours together at
the park. We played tennis. It sure is a lot more fun playing tennis with Alex than with Beth Ann.

Alex pays attention and says things like “Great shot!” (about my shot, not his; Beth Ann would say it about her own) and “Whoa!” (if I zing one past him, which I can occasionally do), and he generally gives the impression that he is having a terrific time. We laugh if one of us “whiffs” the ball (that’s what Alex calls it when you swing and miss), whereas with Beth Ann you have to pretend not to notice when she misses—and if
you
miss, she puts on this phony frown as if she feels so enormously sorry for you.

We were too sweaty to hold hands or anything afterward, but on the way home he said he would think about me a lot while he was gone and I said (yes, I actually got some mushy words out) that I would think about him a lot while I was gone. Oh sighhhh.

Is there such a thing as being
too
happy? It makes me feel a little guilty, especially when there are people like Mrs. Furtz who are feeling so awful. Speaking of Mrs. Furtz, the strangest thing happened tonight. Right after dinner, before Alex arrived, Mrs. Furtz came over. Mom and Dad were sitting at the kitchen table, I was washing the dishes, and Carl Ray was rummaging around in the refrigerator.

Mrs. Furtz looks terrible lately. I bet she hasn’t
combed her hair in a week, and she was wearing this old sweatshirt and a pair of baggy pants and crummy old shoes. You could tell she’d been crying. She sat down at the table with my parents and started sniffling.

Carl Ray stood there staring at Mrs. Furtz with this really sorrowful look on his face and then all of a sudden he left the room, and about two minutes later, he came downstairs with a tissue-wrapped package in his hand. He went right up to Mrs. Furtz and handed it to her. She looked at him strangely, and Carl Ray said, “For you,” and then he went outside and got in his car and drove away!

Mom and Dad looked so surprised and Mrs. Furtz kept staring at the tissue and I was wondering what in the world had happened to Carl Ray’s mind. Finally, Mrs. Furtz opened it. Sure enough, it was the ring from Carl Ray’s drawer. I leaned over and said, “Where’s the card?” and they all looked at me. Carl Ray had taken the card out. “Oh,” I said, “I just thought there’d be a card.”

Then Mrs. Furtz started sobbing and Mom started patting her on the back and Dad went to get a box of Kleenex, and that’s when Alex came to the door.

Now what would make Carl Ray do something like that? Why would he give Mrs. Furtz his father’s ring? He’s just full of surprises.

When I got home tonight, Dad was talking to Carl Ray and asking him if maybe he didn’t want to reconsider and take the ring back, that it was a very nice gesture and that Mrs. Furtz was so overwhelmed she couldn’t speak, but Carl Ray might regret his impulse, and if so, everybody would understand and Dad was sure that Mrs. Furtz would give the ring back.

When Dad was done with his little speech, Carl Ray just said, “Nope,” and went to bed.

Oh, Alpha and Omega!

Friday, July 27

Oh, Deity! I’m here at Aunt Radene’s in West Virginia and there is no light in the bedroom and I’m trying to write by the moonlight. I feel like Abraham Lincoln. I can’t see hardly anything. I’ll have to write tomorrow in the daytime. Oh, I miss home and Alex!!!

Saturday, July 28

Oh, King of Kings, what a day yesterday was and what a day today is turning out to be.

Right now, I’m sitting on Aunt Radene’s and Uncle Carl Joe’s front porch on this great red wooden swing that’s screwed into the ceiling of the
porch. Down in front of me is a hill and on it is the graveyard. Spooooky.

I’ll start with yesterday.

Carl Ray and I left home about noon. I was in charge of the map and he was in charge of the driving. Boy, Carl Ray drives like a maniac!! I was fearing for my life the whole time. He speeds along at about ninety miles an hour and swerves around cars to pass them and never uses his turn signals and he hates to stop. I had to beg him, after about four hours, to please stop so I could go to the bathroom.

We didn’t talk hardly at all, thank goodness. I brought along the
Odyssey
and pretended to be engrossed in that. Every now and then he would ask me what part I was on, and when I told him he would say, “Oh, yeah, I liked that part,” or “Oh, that’s a good part.” He really knows that book. I think he must have memorized it or something.

Anyway, we only got lost once, and we finally arrived at Aunt Radene’s at nine o’clock. Aunt Radene and all of Carl Ray’s brothers and sisters (Arvie Joe, John Roy, Lee Bob, Sue Ann, Sally Lynn, and Brenda Mae—everybody has two names, like me) were waiting on the porch and started jumping up and down and waving and acting like lunatics. The only one who wasn’t there was Uncle Carl Joe. At first I thought it was kind of nice, such a great reception and all, but then when we got out of
the car, everyone jumped all over Carl Ray and started hugging him and messing his hair, and I realized they weren’t at all excited to see
me
.

After about an hour of that, Aunt Radene finally noticed me standing there looking like an idiot, and she came over and hugged me and then everyone else did too, so it was about another half hour of people messing up
my
hair. They’re sure a happy bunch.

Then we had to go in and eat dinner. Aunt Radene said, “Gosh, we’re starving to death. We usually eat up at five, but we were waitin’ on you all. Gosh, I’m as happy as a pumpkin in a patch to see you.” That’s just the way she talks, honest, I’m not making it up.

Uncle Carl Joe was already sitting at the kitchen table. He glanced up when Carl Ray came in, and everybody went all quiet and stared at the two of them. Then Carl Ray said, “Hey,” and Uncle Carl Joe nodded, very soberly, and everybody started crowding around the table. It was pretty easy to tell that Carl Ray and his father were not on the best of terms.

About three tons of food was spread on the table: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, bread, green beans, squash, biscuits, tomatoes, corn, and peaches. Then for dessert: pecan pie and apple pie and molasses pie. For a family that seems poor as anything
(like I said, no electricity and no plumbing and the house looks as if it hasn’t been painted in about two hundred years), they sure have a lot of food on the table. I don’t know how in the world Carl Ray was so skinny when he first came to our house.

Carl Ray had about ten helpings of food, which was a little embarrassing because he made it look like we never feed him.

Everyone kept asking Carl Ray what it was like in “The City” and I kept trying to say it isn’t a city that we live in. Easton is just a little suburb; it’s about ten miles from a big city. But they kept on and on about The City, asking him how many murders he’d seen and how many times he’d been held up by robbers and all that kind of sum and substance. Honestly.

They also kept asking Carl Ray about his car, and I thought he’d tell them about the money and the college education, but you could tell he was saving it for another time, because he looked real embarrassed whenever they mentioned it. They kept saying things like “You sure must make a lot of money in The City,” and “Wow, Carl Ray, you’re gonna be a millionaire,” and on and on. It was as if he didn’t
want
to tell them about the money.

Uncle Carl Joe didn’t say a word.

Then, about ten thirty, when we had finished eating, everybody got up and Aunt Radene said,
“Best turn in; we can chaw on and on tomorrow.” And in about ten minutes everybody was in bed, except for Sue Ann and Sally Lynn, who were doing the dishes. I did ask if I could help, but they said no, so I just went to bed. I was really tired and also feeling really homesick for everybody.

I wonder if Carl Ray felt this way when he came to stay with us. How did he stand it? Everybody’s so
nice
to him here, and he’s lapping it up like a little dog. And they’re all looking at me as if
I’m
the strange one, and I can hardly get a word in, not that I would know what to say if I
did
get the chance. So I don’t say too much—just like Carl Ray at our house. It makes you think, doesn’t it?

It’s a little hard to get used to how
primitive
this place is. I still haven’t gone to the bathroom. I did walk out to the outhouse.

Oh, Supreme Being! I’d forgotten just how awful that outhouse is. It’s so dark inside. The only light that can get in is a little sunlight from a hole cut high up one wall. But also through that hole come flies and wasps and creepy spiders. There are spiderwebs in all the corners. I don’t even want to mention the
smell
. Arghhhh. I’ll wait until I am absolutely desperate before I go in there. Maybe Carl Ray was as afraid of our bathroom as I am of his. Maybe he was used to all this back-to-nature sum and substance.

Later the same day

I’m back on the porch swing. I’ve been sitting here most of the day writing letters. Everybody else has been rushing around doing chores, and whenever I ask if I can help, they say, “Naw, you just set awhile.”

I’m getting tired of “setting awhile.”

Still later the same day

I think Aunt Radene has the flu.

She did make dinner tonight though. We had fried chicken (again, because it’s Carl Ray’s favorite), gravy, boiled potatoes, corn on the cob, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, and fried peppers. Then for dessert we had chocolate pudding with whipped cream and also cherry Jell-O with bits of peaches inside.

We almost didn’t get the pudding because Aunt Radene dropped it. Arvie Joe was asking Carl Ray if he was
sure
he hadn’t seen any murders yet in The City, and Carl Ray said, “The only dead body I’ve seen was—” but he didn’t finish because that’s when the pudding slipped out of Aunt Radene’s hands. She doesn’t like to hear about dead people—I can tell.

Then, while Aunt Radene was scooping up the pudding, Arvie Joe asked Carl Ray about his job in
the hardware store, so Carl Ray told them about stocking and orders and all that boring quintessence. Arvie Joe said, “They sure must pay you a lot, if you can afford that car.”

Carl Ray looked right at me, and I knew it was a warning, so I didn’t say anything—not until Arvie Joe kept going
on
about how much money Carl Ray must be earning. Just to
participate
a little in the conversation, I said, “Well, Carl Ray’s lucky. People keep
giving
him things—”

Carl Ray gave me a dirty look.

“Like what?” Sally Lynn said.

I was in trouble now. I fished around and fished around. “Well, like a job…” (Carl Ray relaxed a little) “…and a ring…” (Carl Ray gave me the dirty look again).

“A ring?” said Aunt Radene.

I was about to explain that it was the ring from Uncle Carl Joe, but then Uncle Carl Joe said, “A ring? What the blazes for?” Everybody looked at Uncle Carl Joé. I think those were the first words he said to Carl Ray since we arrived. I couldn’t tell if Uncle Carl Joe was pretending he hadn’t given the ring to Carl Ray or if he thought I meant that Carl Ray had been given
another
ring.

Carl Ray was staring at me. Then I realized that Carl Ray knew that the only way I could have known
someone had given that ring to him in the first place was if I had been snooping in his drawers and read that card. I tried to move on. I said, “Oh well, he gave it away anyway.”

“You gave it away?” said Aunt Radene to Carl Ray.

“You gave it
away
?” said Lee Bob and Sue Ann.