Absolute Zero (43 page)

“I can’t.” Her eyes closed and her head leaned into his palm.

“Damn, stubborn woman,” he growled pulling her body to his in a tight hug. “What am I supposed to do without you? Hmm? One more week,” he stated gruffly.

“No,” her voice was muffled against his chest.

“Ugh. Why can’t ya just
cooperate
?  Lach looooves you. Says you’ve been nothing but the greatest help. Mrs. Craigh wants to adopt you. I want to…” he stopped short.

“Well, you
know
what I want to do,” he continued after a beat. “Dammit, this is so hard. Why is this so hard?” He pushed her away from his body and stared in her eyes.

“I…” she gave a slight shrug, unsure of what to say.

“S tusa gràdh mo bheatha,” he stated in a gentle voice.

“What?”

“You heard me,” the corner of his mouth lifted in a smile.

“Did you just call me a fat, gay dinosaur?” She asked with widened eyes.

“Aye. That’s it.” he deadpanned.

“Seriously, what did you say?” she asked, her eyes searching his.

Something that scares the hell out of me
, he thought.

“Don’t worry about it. You know if you keep standing out here, talking to me, you’re going to miss yer flight,” he stated in a stern voice. “On second thought…” he pulled her to him, grasping the back of her head and tilting her head to accept his kiss.

*****

“I told her she was the love of my life,” he stated as he stared at the amber liquid in his glass.

“What?!” both Lena and Jack exclaimed.

“What did she say?” Lena asked from the stool next to him.

“I said it in Gaelic. It comes in handy every once in a while,” he said absently.

“So, she doesn’t know.”

“Nah, she asked me if I called her a gay dinosaur. She’s funny like that. God, I love her,” he breathed out. “And I don’t even care if you two know it. I
must
be dafty over her,” he stated, still staring at the glass.

“But…she lives in America.”

“Right. Really Lena?” he snorted out and gave a distinct eye roll.

“Why can’t you find a Scottish woman?” Jack asked.

“
You
met her. You tell me. I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s so…
right
for me.”

“She
works
for you.” Lena stated.

“So what? Maybe in a few months she won’t. If I decide to sell, that is,” he added.

“If you sell, you won’t have any reason to go back there.”

“So, she moves here,” he stated simply.

“Ian? Listen to yerself. What the hell are you saying?” Jack asked.

“I don’t know,” his brows scrunched together.

“It’s too soon. You might make the same mistake…” Lena started before his head snapped up and his eyes flashed to hers.

“She’s
not
Shelby. I went into that with my eyes open. I had no plans other than a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

“You fell in love with her,” Lena corrected him.

“No. Trust me, I didn’t know what that was until I met Anne. I was just captivated by her looks. Believe me, there was no substance there at all. She was a shell of a human being and a waste at that,” he grated out.

“What about Anne? What do you know about her? She’s very…I don’t know, there’s something I can’t put my finger on…” Lena started.

“She’s secretive? She changes the subject when you ask her something she doesn’t want to talk about? I know that.”

“You could get hurt…” Lena added.

“I know that too,” he answered simply.

“So, have her checked out.” Jack stated with an easy shrug.

He thought for a moment. He wanted to. He wanted to weeks ago; he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“What if I find out something I don’t want to know?” he asked quietly.

“What if you don’t?” Lena asked. “Ian, I just don’t want to see you hurt. She seems like a great girl. I just wish…” she trailed off.

He let out the breath he was holding.

They were right.

It was wrong.

But some things were worth the risk.

“What kind of picture is
that
?”

“It’s the only one I have. I was trying to be sneaky. I asked this guy to take a picture of us at one of the castles we visited and a split second before he takes the picture, he turned.”

She gazed down at the picture of the two of them. She was smiling at the camera and Ian was kissing the side of her head, his eyes focused down. It was nearly impossible to make out his features.

“Well, at any rate, he looks like he’s completely into you. And he seems to have a nice profile, good body, from what I can tell,” Beth stated though the phone.

“Yeah,” Anne agreed, her body reacting the same way it always did when she looked at this picture. It had only been a few days, but…

“I like your hair. You’re letting it grow?” Beth asked. Anne unconsciously fingered the ends that framed her face. Beth’s tone was hopeful and they both knew why.

“I just can’t afford a haircut right now,” she replied. That wasn’t entirely true…

“Mmm hmm. So? What happened?” Anne could hear as she stared out of the back door in her kitchen.

“Well, we drafted a very thorough proposal and an abstract to study…” she started.

“Shut
UP
,” Beth interrupted her. “Like I want to hear
that
crap. Gimme the good stuff.”

Anne gave a nervous laugh before taking a breath.

“We had fun. It was…nice being with him. It felt
right
. I don’t know how else to describe it,” she answered honestly.

“Did he tell you about selling the facility?”

“No.” Anne stated.

“Hmm. Did you tell him you’re working on that project you’re not supposed to be working on?”

“No.”

“Wow. This is the perfect start to a relationship,” Beth stated in a serious voice she probably reserved for her students.

“Don’t lecture me. I came back here more determined than ever to knock his socks off. You should see the Scottish facility. It’s phenomenal. We can be that good here, too,” Anne stated.

“Anne? Sweetie? I know you better than anyone. Please just…be smart about this. I know you throw yourself into things, but you can’t do this alone. You’ll take the fate of this facility and rest it on your shoulders and you will be devastated if it doesn’t pan out. I know you. This isn’t all on you.”

Yes, actually it is.

“Ok. I hear you,” Anne answered back before a snort sounded through the phone.

“No, you don’t,” Beth stated knowingly. “Listen, I have a staff meeting in a couple minutes, so I need to get going but I wanted to tell you…”

Anne could hear a deep breath through the phone before she continued, “I made you an appointment.”

She stood silent, her hand gripping the phone a bit tighter. “A hair appointment?” she asked lightly.

“No.”

“Manicure?”

“Stop it, Anne. Dr. Barclay recommended him. I emailed the details to your work address.”

Anne’s body felt numb suddenly.

“I don’t need your interference,” she stated quietly.

“Yes, you do. You won’t do this for yourself. You know you need regular monitoring. It’s just a check-up…”

“I told you I don’t want to know. If it happens again, I don’t want to know,” she answered through clenched teeth.

“Do it for
me
, then. What would I do without my best friend? Please?” Beth’s suddenly shaky voice caused Anne to lean her forehead against the glass of the sliding door.

“You have
no
idea…” she stated as she closed her eyes tightly.

“The hell I don’t. I was there. I saw it. Look at you now. You’re doing great. You’re healthy, you seem happy. Just go,” Beth commanded.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t think about it too long. It’s in three days…”

“Beth!”

“What?”

Anne let out a disgusted sigh.

“Go to your meeting,” Anne stated.

“Go to your appointment,” Beth shot back.

*****

“Pre-clinicals were already done when Ron was here, so we’re on an escalated schedule. I filed for Phase 1today,” she said as she continued to flip through the papers in her folder. “I made you a copy of my submission,” she added before finding the document and sliding it across the desk to Rand.

“I can’t believe this is really happening,” he breathed out as he grabbed the papers.

“Well, Ron’s results and my results are identical, at least from a treatment standpoint. Aggression is almost immediately diminished, but the side effects are different and I’m trying to work through that. I really wish…” she trailed off, knowing that her next sentence would be met with the same answer she always received.

“What?” Rand asked.

“Nothing,” she stated instead. “At any rate, the side effects aren’t severe enough to warrant an overhaul. The drug does what it’s supposed to do. Hopefully that translates to humans. I worry a bit about depression, but I think that occurs because of where the point of administration lies.”

If I could only talk to Ron
… She kept that to herself. She stared at Rand, noting the drawn look that still resided on his otherwise handsome features.

“So, any word on selling the facility?”

“Nothing,” Rand answered. “That could be a good thing or a bad thing, it’s hard to tell with Ian,” he admitted.

*****

“Any luck with…what was her name?”

“Lara?” Caleb supplied as he relaxed back in the chair in front of her desk later that night.

“Yeah,” Anne answered.

“I’ve been permanently classified to the friend zone,” he stated dejectedly.

“That’s too bad,” she answered. A shrill blip and a box appeared on her computer monitor causing her eyes to flit away from Caleb.

Ian McClellan’s message to you:

You’re still at work?

A small smile formed on her face before she typed quickly.

Your message to Ian McClellan:

Yes. You?

“We’ve gone out a couple of times, but always with other people. We’re meeting for drinks Thursday night. Why don’t you come? You can ask her about Ron. You said you wanted to…” Caleb prompted, causing her eyes to shift from her monitor to his face. Another blip sounded.

Ian McClellan’s message to you:

No. Sitting on my couch watching FOOTBALL

Highlights on Sportscene, wishing I had someone

to canoodle with.

“Umm…sure. Maybe?” She answered Caleb but stared at her screen, formulating a response in her head.

“You Ok? You have this goofy look on your face,” Caleb’s words caused her to look at him as she felt her cheeks grow warm. Her hands immediately covered them.

“Ha! Sorry. So…sure, Thursday. What time?” Anne asked, trying to keep the smirk from her face.

“I get off at seven. We’ll be at the Brass Tap,” the rustling of the garbage bag heralded the fact that he was standing up.  “Hey! Maybe she’ll get jealous and think we’re together,” he stated with a suddenly bright face.

“Hey! Maybe she’ll feel sorry for you for hanging out with old ladies,” Anne retorted with a tilt of her head.

“Nah. You look really young. If I thought you were into it, I would totally hit on you…” he smirked then added a rather cheesy wink.

“Yes. Your mother would be so thrilled.” Anne stated blandly.

“See ya later,” she could hear him laugh out as he wandered from the office. Her hands immediately settled on the keyboard.

Your message to Ian McClellan:

Canoodle?

*****

“Rand…I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything, then,” he stated as he twirled a pen between his two fingers, watching it closely.

“Does anyone else know? I mean, am I the only person that knows what you’re planning?” Anne asked as she too stared at the pen.

“Yes. But,” he stopped twirling the pen and focused on her, “I was hoping to get further along in the process before I said anything. It’s all speculation at this point. I’ve been meeting with them on a daily basis now. They are
very
interested in the facility and they seem especially interested in your project. They’ve also indicated that they would keep the staff on. That’s the biggest thing for me.”

“But…it’s not your company to sell, Rand,” she stated quietly. If Ian knew, he would literally combust.

“I know that. If they decide to go forward, they would offer directly to him,” he responded confidently. “I’m just trying to help the process along. I have to look out for our best interests here. I have an awful lot of people depending on me for their livelihoods. I don’t take this lightly, Anne.”

Anne sat back in her chair, closely regarding the man in front of her.

How do I get myself in these situations?
She thought as she let out a quiet breath.

Her mouth worked, but no sound was forthcoming. She just nodded dumbly instead.

“Lachlan called, by the way. Says he wants you back in Scotland. I told him the timing was bad right now,” Rand leveled a serious look in her direction.

Actually, Ian was pressuring her through texts and instant messages for the very same thing, but she wouldn’t tell Rand that.

“Ian seems to think they can use you as a selling point. It’s not often a pharmaceutical company employs someone with your background, you know.”

“Use me?” she asked before she could stop herself. It was the only thing she focused on in his previous sentence and for some reason, it made her feel…cold.

“Ian’s words, not mine. I get what he means, though,” Rand stated, apparently unaware of her inner turmoil at his words.

“Being too smart is your biggest liability, Anne. You’ll see.”
Sam had said.

Right before the back of his head literally exploded on the wall behind him.

She blinked twice to bury the memory as she tried to focus on the man in front of her.

*****

It really came as no surprise when she opened the front door and found Shay standing on the porch later that night.

“I need to talk,” she stated. “I’m sorry if I’m burdening you with this shit, but I can’t talk to my other friends about this. This town gossips like crazy and you…well, I trust you, Anne.”

She looked at Shay’s sad eyes and immediately opened the door wider for her to enter.

“What’s…so what’s wrong?” She knew the answer, but asked anyway.

“Rand,” Shay stated before wandering over to the couch and flopping down on it.

“I have proof now. He has an EZ pass. He gets a bill, right? Every time he drives on the Turnpike it registers where he exits and how much the fare was. I saw it. He threw it in the garbage in the garage. He’s been going to Downingtown, Anne. What the fuck is in
Downingtown?
” she grated out as tears began to gather in her eyes.

The company your husband is trying to sell to, most likely
…Anne thought, but kept her mouth shut.

Could life be any more
complicated
? She thought as she tried desperately to come up with something,
anything
to placate the woman in front of her. Of course, Rand should just tell her. In fact, when she talked to him next, she would tell him that. He was worried Shay would slip up and tell someone and he was right. But then again, to see her break down was pulling at Anne’s heart. It seemed so unfair to put her through this.

“I’m sure it’s business related,” Anne stated softly. “Did you ask him?”

“
NO!
I just…maybe I don’t want to know, right? I love him. I
thought
he loved me. I don’t have a job, Anne. I have no income. I just wanted to be a wife and a mother and…what would I do?” She buried her face in her hands and sobbed causing Anne to lift up from her chair and go in search of tissues.

She would
definitely
talk to Rand tomorrow, Anne thought as she handed two tissues from the pack and watched Shay. Her hand twitched as if unsure what to do to comfort her. She gently patted her back twice and stepped away awkwardly.

*****

“There’s something wrong.”

“There’s nothing wrong,” she lied through the phone.

“I’ve texted you three times, Annie. No response. There’s something wrong.”

He was right. There
was
something wrong. It was killing her not to ask him about his comment to Rand. It was unsettling. Maybe it was made innocently. Maybe not. Maybe she was being ridiculous.

“Where are you?” Ian asked.

She looked around the empty waiting room. “At home,” she blurted.