Absolute Zero (47 page)

“What are you talking about?” he asked with confusion etched on his already serious features.

“What are
you
talking about?” she asked quietly. He loosened his hold enough that she could take a step back.

“You. Your past,” he stated. Her legs really
did
give out at his soft admission. He tightened his hold once again.

“I’m so sorry, Anne,” he whispered.

She could only stare at him. How?
Why?
Her mouth opened but nothing came out. Her eyes darted to the side as her brain tried to make sense of what he just said. Her past. All of it? Some of it? What did he
know
?

“What do you…know?” she finally uttered without meeting his gaze.

“Let’s sit.” He started pulling her toward the living room. Her body followed on shaky legs, her mind searching and discarding, finding and dismissing… a million thoughts zinging through her brain and nothing concrete sticking during the relatively short walk to the couch. He waited while she folded her legs and thumped into the soft cushions before seating himself on the opposite end of the love seat. His hands were still clasped around hers.

“What do you know? Wait.
How
do you know?” she breathed out, her eyes searching his.

He looked so completely uncomfortable. He waited a moment. It felt like a lifetime to her as she held her breath.

“I had you…I’m not proud of this, Anne,” he finally stated. “It’s just…you’re so…I don’t want to make another mistake,” he stated in an uneasy tone. At her confused stare, he blew out a breath. “I had you checked out,” he forced out and watched as dawning seemed to light her eyes and replace the confusion.

“You…had me investigated?” she asked through barely moving lips.

“Yes.”

Her head thumped to the side and cradled against the back cushions of the couch as her eyes closed. “Oh god,” she groaned out. “You’re such a
jerk
,” she added with her eyes still closed tightly. Her hands shook free of his and clenched in fists on her lap.

“I know,” he agreed all too readily. She could feel his hand touch hers softly. She swatted it away before pulling her hands closer to her chest.

“I don’t even know what to say to this. Is that why you’re here? Wait,” She popped open her eyes and almost recoiled at the look on his face. That look she hated.

It was called pity and it didn’t look good on
anyone
.

“Stop looking at me like that. I hate that. Stop it,” her eyes dropped to her lap as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Anne. Like I said, I’m not proud of what I did, but I needed to know.”

“Why?
Why?”
she emphasized as her eyes lifted to his imploring some kind of decent answer from him.

“Because I love you.”

The wind was officially knocked out of her. His look was so sincere it made her body tingle with added fluttering in her stomach. The feeling was short lived before anger usurped her previous bliss.

“You had to have me checked out because you
love
me? Do you know how fucked up that is?” she whispered.

“Anne? Can I ask you a question?” he didn’t wait for an answer before he continued, “Would you have
ever
told me?”

“
NO
,” she forced out with absolute conviction.

“See?” One of his brows shot up knowingly.

“See
what
? What do you expect? What exactly do you know about me and would you
please
stop looking at me like that?”

“I can’t help it,” he stated honestly.

“
Try
,” she commanded. “Now, tell me what your hired Snoop dug up on me,” she added through clenched teeth.

“Your family, your face, your…financial situation,” he answered automatically.

“Oh. Is that all? Well…” she bit out with a sarcastic laugh.

“Anne,” he started.

She sobered immediately. “No. Aren’t you a little nervous sitting across from the modern day Lizzie Borden of the West Coast?”

“I have no idea who that is,” he shook his head.

“Late eighteen hundreds; killed her dad and stepmom, was acquitted. Everyone still thinks she did it… What do
you
think? Hmm?”

“That’s ridiculous, Anne. You’re not a killer,” he stated with the utmost confidence.

“No? Tell that to my grandparents…” she trailed off with a sardonic smirk.

“They’re…never mind,” he stopped himself.

“What?”

“They’re…ummm…” he started, not quite sure how to say it.

“Dead?”

“Aye.”

“Good,” she stated in a bland tone.

“Anne…”

“Shut up, Ian. I need to think for a second. I need to wrap my head around the fact that we’re even
having
this conversation.”  She tried to calm her breathing, maybe get her pulse to stop beating like crazy. He kept quiet as she stared as the surface of the couch cushion between them.

“What are you thinking?” She finally uttered, refusing to look up.

“I’m thinking that I love you very much. I’m thinking that I can’t believe you are the person that you are in spite of…everything you’ve been through. I’m thinking that if you don’t let me hold you right now, I may go crazy…”

“You’re already crazy. Sane men don’t hire people to investigate people they think they’re in love with,” she returned before taking a deep breath and releasing it.

“I’m glad you know. Isn’t that funny?” she stated after a swallow. “It is to me. No one really knows this, except Beth. Do you know who Beth is?” she asked.

“Aye,”

“Of course,” she nodded before a sarcastic snort sounded.

“Anne. Annie…” he breathed out as his fingers twitched. She was so close. It was all he could do to hold himself back. “Tell me. Talk to me, please?”

“What do you want to know that you don’t already know? What difference does it make?”

“I just…I just want to understand. If it’s too painful, we won’t,” he answered gently.

“It’s not,” she stated with false bravado.
Not entirely
, she amended in her head.

“Did he…umm…touch you? Is that why you lock the door at night?”

Her eyes snapped to his. “Who? Sam? Sam never touched me,” she let out an almost bitter laugh. “Are you kidding? He was so horrified by my looks; he felt the need to let me know how hideous I was to him every chance he got. He was right, though. I looked like the love child of Pete Townsend and Susan Boyle with…Kid Rock hair.”

“I have no idea…what’s a Kid Rock?” he asked.

“Google it, Ian. Who cares? Let’s just say I was too unattractive for that pervert to touch. I guess in a way I was lucky in that regard but my younger sister wasn’t. My mother and my sister were beautiful. I have no idea where my face came from to be honest. Sam used to accuse my mother of having an affair with the neighbor’s dog…”

“Oh, Anne…”

She held up her hand. “You know? He was just trying to break me down. I realize that now. I honestly think he was intimidated by me. He knew I was smarter than him and that was his way of putting me in my place. That’s how I rationalize it in my head at least. God, I hated him then and I hate him even more now. He was a brilliant, manipulative, crazy asshole but we were all stuck with him. I had no idea he was doing anything to Sophie and I’m not even sure when it started, I just know she changed from a vibrant outgoing child to a quiet, withdrawn teenager. I was too wrapped up in school to really pay attention at first. Then there was my Mother. She was in on it; did your investigator tell you that?” At the subtle shake of his head, she continued, “She wasn’t very sharp, plus she battled severe depression. She let Sam walk all over her. It was almost painful to watch their interaction with each other.”

She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them with her arms. “She used to give me a glass of warm milk every night before I would go to bed. I always drank it and never thought anything of it. I had a stomach ache one night so I tossed it down the drain when she put Sophie to bed. Worst night of sleep in my life. I actually didn’t sleep at all, I heard my sister scream in the middle of the night and I tried to open my door but I couldn’t. My knob had a lock on
both
sides of my door. Crazy right? So I’m trying to open the door and my Mother opens it and tells me that Sophie had a bad dream. I asked her why she locked me in and she said I was a sleepwalker. Was I? I didn’t know. How would I know?” she asked, her eyes fastened on the spot beyond his shoulder.

“So the next day, I tried to talk to Sophie but my Mother was basically pushing me out the door to go to school. Sophie was home schooled by my Mom and I never really knew the real reason until it was too late. There was no way they would let her interact with other kids. Mom said she needed extra attention that a school wouldn’t be able to give and I thought that was weird. She was smart, just quiet. Lots of kids are shy, right? So anyway, I tossed the milk again that night and sure enough…no sleep…and oddly enough? I heard her again. That’s when I
knew
something was up. I pretended like I was sick the next day and I didn’t go to school. Sam had early class that day so he wasn’t there to help her convince me. Usually they would be adamant that I go even when I
was
sick. That time, I just basically lay in my bed, refusing to move and no amount of her prodding was swaying me. I sort of walked around the house, clutching my stomach, acting like I was on the verge of death but I was waiting for a moment alone with Sophie. Mom went to the bathroom and I asked her point blank what was going on. She started crying. Said she couldn’t tell or Sam would kill us all. She was terrified. I asked her if he touched her and all she said was that it was her fault. Because she was so pretty…”

Anne’s eyes snapped to Ian’s. “Is that not the most screwed up thing?” She took a long breath and let it out.

“I went to the school guidance counselor the next day and I begged her to be discreet. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just go to the police. I only knew that I had to do
something
. Sam was a very intelligent guy; he was also extremely prominent in the town we lived in. I had no idea…Anyway,
she
called the police. They went and picked him up at the college for questioning. Sam squeaked out of that one, though. He gave them some crazy story about how he was worried that something like this would happen. Told them that I was so jealous of my sister and the attention she received that he thought I might do something like this. They let him go. I wasn’t there so I don’t know exactly how it went down, but…” her eyes closed as she rested her head against the cushion.

“I came home from school and he was waiting for me at the kitchen table. I knew something was up as soon as I saw him. Sophie and Mom weren’t around, dinner wasn’t even started. We just stared at each other for I don’t even know how long,” her voice took on an almost haunted tone as she closed her eyes. Sam’s face was before her in perfect, horrid detail.

“Where are Mom and Sophie?”

“Well, hello to you too, Anne,” Sam stated with a sickly smile. “How was the Science Fair?”

“What do
you
care?” she asked under her breath.

“Oh, just wondering. How did you do?”

She shifted her weight and slid the backpack from her shoulder to the ground. Something was wrong. This was something entirely new. He never sought her out for idle conversation but it truly appeared as if he had been waiting. For her.

“2
nd
Place,” she admitted quietly as the back pack thumped at her feet. His head was thrown back as a loud bark of laughter out in the otherwise eerily silent house.

“2
nd
Place?! Oh, Anne! You poor thing! That’s a first, huh? Imagine that. 2
nd
place. You probably want to waste yourself right about now, don’t you?” he leveled a serious look at her but his mouth was twisted in some sort of grin.  “Poor Anne,” he added with a shake of his head.

“It’s fine. Where are Mom and Sophie?” she asked again as her nerves began zapping and her pulse started pounding relentlessly.

“Don’t worry about them. Let’s talk about
you
. What have you been up to Anne? Hmm?”

“Since when do you care?” She asked nervously.

“Since I was hauled into the police station for questioning today. Let me tell you, such an unpleasant experience,” he practically sneered. The blood rushed through her body, dropping to her feet in a whoosh.

The guidance counselor was supposed to be
discreet. Didn’t she emphasize that enough?

“Where did you come up with such a tale, Anne? I had to let them know about you. I had to tell them how much I worry about your mental state and your jealousy issues. I promised them that I would definitely get you some help.”