Absolute Surrender (37 page)

Amelia turned to Hugh. “Hugh, you
’
ve always been.” She shrugged. It was that simple. “That, my dearest friend, is the crux of it. You
’
re a requirement in this life even though I cannot see a solution. I love you now more than I ever have before, because I
’
ve seen a possibility in you that I never knew existed.” Amelia saw Hugh
’
s eyes widen, then they darted to Charles and back to her.

“That is…the simple of it,” she said quietly.

The room was silent, and Amelia looked at Charles, who turned to Hugh.

“She
’
ll not give you up.” Charles paused, taking stock of Hugh, who seemed to be very concerned with his shoes. “And…neither will I. You
’
re a requirement to what makes this work. I know not how this will happen. I only know that it will, and the sooner you come to terms with that fact, the sooner we
’
ll all be able to live.”

Amelia watched as Hugh shifted uncomfortably, and it seemed an age before he spoke. “I came here…I brought Charles here…for you, Amelia.” Hugh looked up and caught her eyes and refused to look away, would not allow her to shy. She was caught. “From the moment we arrived, I
’
ve wondered how I would be able to walk away from you after this. The easiest of all scenarios was to toss myself from these cliffs, because there would be no return, no feeling, no life to argue afterward.” Hugh
’s voice quavered.

Amelia could see in his gaze nothing but the reality of this statement, that death would be the easiest way to walk away from her. “I knew this would happen,” she said. “I knew you could not be pulled into this without damage to yourself, and I warned you. Hugh, I…know that feeling well, but cannot allow for that to happen.”

“
You misunderstand me.
I would never, not ever, take the easy way out where you
’
re concerned, Amelia. Were I that kind of man, I wouldn
’
t be worthy of you.” Hugh stilled. Waited. She was sure none of them knew
what
they waited for. Hugh looked peaceful, as though he
’
d been holding this back.

Charles, on the other hand, looked much more…aggrieved and pained. She wished to alleviate this, at least the physical aspect of it.

So very much.

“Charles?” she said quietly.

“It seems we are at an impasse,” Hugh said.

Charles tensed. Looked rather angry.

Amelia closed her eyes and willed her mind to the point at hand. She looked at Charles, who stood not far from the bed, his jaw tight as he took her in. “I want—” She cleared her throat…the spin, the spin, she knew an episode was coming. She forced her mind to embrace it, but she needed to get through this next
bit for
her plan to work. She knew Charles was at a tipping point. In all she
’
d learned from
Fanny Hill
, in everything Hugh and Charles had said, in everything she
’
d seen in Charles’s very actions, she knew Charles could not hold off if pushed. As for Hugh…she closed her eyes and hoped.

Please, God, let me say my piece,
she thought as she allowed the swirl to gain.

She opened her eyes. Her heartbeat raced.

Keep it short and sweet.

She looked directly at Charles. “I demand that you take me to wife, Charles.” Her chest heaved beneath her hands.

Silence.

Her demand was met with silence.

“Th-this is what I want. If you truly are both here to see to my happiness, and nothing more, then marry me. Be done with this waffling and take me to wife, Charles. Do it now.”

“What did you say?” Charles ground out as he shifted his stance.

She truly had taken him off guard.

Charles looked rather terrifying at the moment. Perhaps…perhaps she should have thought this through.

“I said…I wish for you to…I would like very much if you—”

“No, Amelia, what
exactly
did you say?” Charles’s voice dropped. It was almost feral.

A shudder coursed her spine then seemed to settle near her womb, warming her from the inside out.

“I said…” She sank to the bed, before her knees gave up completely. Closing her eyes to steel herself, she raised her hand to stay him then took a deep breath and opened her eyes. “I demanded that you marry me, Charles. I asked that you take me to wife.”

“You want me to take you to wife?” His voice was harsh, sharp at the edges.

She nodded. That nod was all she could effort in response, and she was grateful for it.

“What…here? Now?” Charles asked stiffly.

“Yes. Here and now,” Amelia said.

Hugh spoke up then, seemed to be jarred from his silence. “Amelia, that isn
’
t within the realm of—”

Charles stalked toward the end of the bed, cutting off Hugh
’
s thought. Then something broke in Charles’s eyes as she watched. “Let me say this so that you understand that I mean it.” Charles took her shoulders. Pulled her to her feet. He surely marked her skin with his fingers. “I marry you, Amelia. Here and now. I marry you with your best friend as a witness. I marry you before God and my parents in heaven. I marry you, Amelia. I will take you to wife.”

Amelia
’
s breath stopped, and Charles lifted her farther, letting the sheet slip away as he pulled her flush against him. He breathed against her jaw, and her whole body shook. “You amaze me,” Charles said softly, and she
knew
that Charles understood she
’
d done this intentionally. She
’
d meant to call this reaction forth in herself. The darkness came at the very edges of her periphery, and she was only happy she
’
d managed to say her piece first. She
’
d held out through so very much, and now she was thoroughly taxed. She collapsed into his arms.

“Hugh,” was all Charles said, and that she felt more than heard, until Hugh was behind her, his hands on her shoulders, smoothing down her arms. She knew there
’
d been no way Hugh would abandon her when she needed him in this way.

Charles watched her closely. It took some time, but once her heart steadied and her vision cleared on him, Charles spoke again.

“You have a choice, Amelia, and I want to hear this from you. I want you to truly consider this choice. I would like to give you as much time as you need, but you must understand at this moment, I have very little—”

“You, Charles, I want it to be you.”

A crash. His mouth possessed hers in such a way she truly believed the world would be able to see that claiming whenever they looked on her from here on out—and perhaps they would. Her hands flew back and latched on to Hugh behind her, held him.

This,
she thought.
This
.
I
’
ve waited the whole of my life to feel this and not be terrified.

The absolute surrender.

Charles still supported her, which was a good thing when her knees did decide to quit. Amelia
’
s hands moved to his bare shoulders and scored his flesh. She marked Charles for her own, and it seemed to spur him on. She shivered when more hands landed on her, and she knew Hugh was with them, that her actions had kept him here, with Charles. In her complete surrender to this, she
’
d managed to have all the control.

Amelia felt as though she were floating then descending, the soft feather tick mattress meeting her back and Hugh with her. She knew it was his hands spreading her hair across the bed, holding her hands and soothing her. Hugh kissed her forehead, smoothed her hair aside and brought her full attention back to the moment.

“Amelia, we don
’
t have to do this.” Hugh pleaded, truly pleaded, in a tone she
’
d never heard from him.

“
Yes. We do,
” she said, and her tone brooked no arguments. This was their moment.

Charles stood at her feet. Amelia watched as he pulled his boots off one at a time and threw them to the floor. Charles reached for the buttons on his trousers, and he caught her gaze.

“Amelia, you
’
ve made your choice, and in it our fate is sealed. Tonight, I
’
ve made you my wife in word, I consider you my wife in thought, and I will make you my wife in deed.” Charles paused after he released the buttons and stood before her.

The reckoning
.

The words came back to her in that moment as she looked on Charles’s tall, strong frame, as she took in the power and truth in his eyes. She pulled her own strength from Hugh, tightened her hands on his, and nodded. “Yes, Charles. My husband. Tonight I consider you my husband in thought, I make you my husband in word, and you will make me your wife in deed.”

The smile that broke across his face lit the room like nothing ever could, as the light changed from the harsh light of day to the warm glow of early evening. Her skin flushed—toes to nose—as he looked on her. She felt the blush rise, every single bit of her wanting to be in contact with every bit of him. She heard herself whimper, was separate from it, tightened her grip on Hugh.

Charles hooked his thumbs in the waist of his trousers then bent as he pushed them off. When he stood, it was like a golden god had made himself manifest in the Cliff House. The brilliant light through the window warmed his entire being, and his manhood rose to welcome as she watched. Charles took himself in hand, adjusted his bollocks, then smoothed a hand up and back down the length of his—

Maypole.

This she could believe, as he stood there before her.
This
she could believe. She was to be rent in her softest of places. Amelia panicked and clenched her thighs together as she pushed back from Charles, but she felt Hugh wrap his arms with hers, kissing her all over her face. “Shhhh, sweet Amelia,” Hugh said. His tears were on her face, and she looked to his eyes.

“I love you,” she said.

The bed swayed beneath Charles when he mounted it, as if in deference to the strength and reality of this man. Just as she was sure she would sway beneath him in deference to that strength and reality.