Abram's Daughters 03 The Sacrifice (34 page)

yyyi'tf Hum ever. A widow and not even thirty yet, for pity's

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^H"l (In love her," Leah said softly. "I've prayed for her all ^Hir years. But now I just don't know how I can. . ." She ^ |H-d because she simply couldn't go on. ^B"Sooner or later, you'll have to forgive her, Leah. The ^Hh of unforgiveness is a thorny one." Aunt Lizzie had ^H)Vvn all along what it was eating away at her. ^H"l wish I didn't have to go to the membership meeting, ^[less my sister kneelin' before the Lord God and the brethH, confessing aloud her past sins." All this time she'd ^HrncJ for this very thing for Sadie's sake; yet here it was ^Hll'ly the eve of such a meeting, and all she wanted to do ^B run far from it. She didn't care to hear the words of ^fntance that would ultimately lift the Bann from Sadie. ^Hc shunned one would be welcomed back, profoundly so, ^0 the warmth of Dat's home, her refuge. ^B "I see now I can't begin to think of voting to accept her ^ftk into the fellowship. I just can't, Lizzie." She wept sad ^us in her birth mother's arms.

^H "There, there, you go 'n' cry it out. Then, when you're ^rough, we'll head on home for supper. We'll see this through Blether, you 'n' me."

* Leah wept good and long. When she'd had her cry, she wiped her face dry with the edge of Lizzie's apron, startlingly

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aware of the bitterness within sorrowful remnants of tlu>past. ' ' ' " :" '' ' ' ' ' ' V -'

Somewhere along the way, they had silently agreed not lu talk while milking cows, which was exactly how it was Monday morning. Leah felt she had little to say to Dat.

They finished the milking, and while her father carried away the cans of fresh milk to the milk house, Leah headed back to her indoor chores. From now on, she decided, A he, or Sadie once she arrived could help with the milk inn, She, on the other hand, was in charge of the house and by mi means ready to give up her place of responsibility and authority, under God and Dat, to her elder sister. Sadie did not deserve that place of honor. She'd abandoned this family 111 have her own will and way with her life. And now, if she w;m to come home, Leah felt strongly about making sure Sadie knew where things stood certainly no longer could she hold the honored place of Abram's eldest daughter. No, Sadie had forfeited that standing, no two ways about it.

Late in the afternoon Adah surprised Leah by stopping by, once all her wash had been dried and folded. She came alone, all smiles, with a "wonderful-gut idea. Let's have a card shower for your sister." Her eyes were bright with the suggestion. "If ya want, I could help out with some cold cuts and

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wl nil i ml, I urn it into a coming-home party and invite as many M llic women folk who'd wanna come." She offered, as well,

Efi i>rnKl the news. t

I "Well, since we don't know exactly when she's comin',

lyliy not wait to see if she actually does."

I Adah frowned quickly. "Do ya mean to say she might

huNge 'ler rnind?"

I Leah shrugged her shoulders. "How should I know? It's

I hi ii a long time. . . ."

I Nodding, Adah patted her arm. "We'll bide our time, if iliiii's what you want to do."

Leah didn't have the heart to say much more, and she MilJn't help but wonder how Mamma would expect her to i n-.ii Sadie after all this time. Sooner or later, like Aunt Lizzie

11.ii I said, Leah knew she would have to unearth the merciless iiuI hitter root deep within and look at it for what it was.Wluitever pain may come of this, for Mamma's sake, I must . /loose to be kind. . . . ,,...

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.Leah spied her first Sadie plodding up the long lane, carry ing only a tan suitcase. She looked smaller somehow, weighed down by the cares of life and her bulky luggage. Her drrsn hung too loosely, as if she'd lost weight suddenly, and her hnit was blonder than Leah remembered, the gleam of it peekiiif: out from beneath her prayer veiling. But then again, maybe i I was simply the light cast by the sun at high noon.

Leah paused where she was, standing nearly like a statue, bewildered to witness this moment alone. Where's Dat? she

wondered, thinking she ought to call for him and Dawdi John or Aunt Lizzie all of them, really.

But she felt the sound of her own voice would have heightened the peculiarity of the moment, making her feel weak, even powerless. She battled against her own reluctance but could not call out even a welcome to her sister; instead, she managed to raise a hand in a feeble wave. Here was the sister she had thought she'd forgiven. Good thing Sad it' hadn't looked up right then, noticed her standing there in hei old brown choring dress and apron, wearing a pair ol

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Mnmma's worn-out shoes. Good thing, because she'd probably I'i' wondering why Leah wasn't tearing down the path, throwing her arms around her, saying over and again, "Oh, I missed y;i ever so much, I did. Wonderful-gut to have you home. . . ."

She swallowed the lump in her throat and wondered where Sadie's children were, or at least the one. Had she left I Item, behind in Indiana with close church friends or Jonas's liimily, maybe? If so, did this mean she was merely coming for ii visit, nothing more? Surprised at the sense of calm that tame over her at the latter thought, Leah inhaled deeply and willed herself to move forward.

One step at a time, she made her way down the lane, her legs as stiff as solid planks.

Sadie, seeing her now for the first time, hesitated, then dropped her suitcase and hurried forward. Her arms were outstretched like those of a doll, and her eyes glistened as her embrace found Leah. The bittersweet moment nearly overlook her, so fervently did Sadie enfold her.

"I missed ya so, Leah . . . oh, you just don't know." .

"It's been . . J*a long . . . time" was the best Leah could muster. To mimic the tender words that came from Sadie's lips would have been false and ever so wrong.

Sadie stepped back and, drying her tears, asked, "Where's Smithy Gid?"

A bit surprised, Leah said, "Oh, he's fillin' silo with Sam Ebersol you remember our uncle Jesse's youngest boy? Sam und Adah Peachey are married now."

Sadie nodded, seemingly a bit dazed.

"Didja have to travel long?" asked Leah, bending to pickup the suitcase. ., : .' ,': :,;

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"First by bus, then by train; then from Lancaster I roilr the trolley back to Strasburg." She stopped and caught I in breath. "After that, I hired a taxi driver to bring me on home."

Leah said nothing as Sadie took in the house, the grounds the barn, and milk house. "So you and Gid, are ya livin' in the main house now? Are Dat and Mamma snug in the Dawill Haus?"

She felt the air go out of her. "What do ya mean Gid andme?" ;.: , -; .

"You and your husband, Smithy Gid." =' , : "Why, no. He's married to Hannah." ;.: "Hannah?" A quick frown crossed Sadie's brow and she stumbled.

"Watch your step," Leah offered, reaching out a hand.

Sadie grasped it and they walked hand in hand.

"Where are your children?" Leah asked. "We heard yon were expecting a baby back some time ago."

Sadie was quiet as they made their way toward the house. "Stillborn babies were all I ever birthed, Leah . . . same as my first wee son, so long ago."

As sorrowful as Sadie appeared just now, Leah thought she best be thinking how she should tell her sister of Martini si's passing. Sadie must hear the heartrending news before evei encountering either Dat or Aunt Lizzie. It was the compas sionate thing to do.

When they approached the back door, Leah knew she must speak up. She paused on the sidewalk and turned to look at Sadie. "There's something you oughta know ... in case you didn't hear. Believe me, I tried to get word to you."

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Smlic's countenance turned nearly gray.

As upset as Leah was, her heart went out to her sister. "I'm iHvtiil sorry to be the one to tell ya, but someone ever so dear punned away a while back. Someone we all loved very much."

Siidie's eyes welled up with tears, and she shook her head. "Nnl Mamma. Please, say it's not my mamma."

Leah breathed in some air for courage. "Jah, Mamma's yolie to Jesus."

Sadie collapsed on the back stoop, her hands over her eyes, head down, sobbing, knees up close to her face. She begun to rock back and forth. "Dear, dear Mamma."

Leah felt compelled to explain further, wanting to comfort I i r sister in this moment; yet she stood without moving, arms hold stiffly behind her back. "Mamma's been gone for many ywirs now. She passed away giving birth to Abe."

Looking up, Sadie blinked her eyes, tears staining her face. "Yfl mean to say, Mamma had another child after Lydiann?" Sudie frowned with wonder. "I have a baby brother?"

Leah honestly wished there was a better way to catch her up on things than standing here on the back stoop. "Well . . . Abe's not such a baby anymore. He's nearly seven will be, rome Christmas." She wished to say more, wanted to set the record straight. Abe wasn't just Sadie's baby brother. In all I ruth, he was Leah's son, only not by birth, just as she had been Mamma's daughter in every way that truly mattered.

But hadn't Sadie, travel weary, taken in enough informai ion in the past few minutes? Maybe too much for having just arrived home. That the gaunt young woman before her had suffered more than her share of pain was clearly etched on her lace, beautiful as it still was. - v

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"Come in and rest. I'll make you some sweet tea." Le:ili opened the door and held it, then led the way into ilic kitchen.

"That'll hit the spot. Goodness knows, I need something to pick me up." Sadie dried her tears and, sighing loudly, s:ii down on the bench beside the table.

"Once you've had a sip or two, you'll want to go next dooi and say hello to Dawdi John and Aunt Lizzie. Dawdi's up in years and doesn't go out much, but he still tells us some mighty interesting stories. He and Lizzie both are excited 11 > see you, of course. Dat, too, but he must be over at the smithy's, or he would've shown his face by now."

"That's all right. I'll take my tea quietly." Sadie accepted the warm cup and held it between her hands, staring at Leali. "Didja . . . well, I mean, should I ask . . . if you ever married.'"

Please don't ask this, she thought, unsure how to share any more of the essential things. Leaning her head back, she began. "Long after we heard you were married, nearly two years later, Smithy Gid did court me, but only for a time, When Mamma was dying, she asked me to raise Lydiann and Abe. Honestly, maybe you'd rather not "

"No, no ... I want to know about you, sister. It's been the hardest thing, me bein' separated from my own family for all these years."

Leah continued on, telling how she had made the promisr to care for Mamma's little ones and how that promise had sealed her future as a maidel due to Dat's eagerness to raise his own son and daughter, instead of allowing Gid and Leah to do so. But she didn't care to say much more. It was enough . . . almost, to have Sadie sitting here in the kitchen,

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i|iplli)J! brewed tea with her, like old times. Enough to have \ u we hikI blue eyes staring and searching hungrily, as if look-

11'"- lor meaning in Leah's gaze, longing to know what she had |i"' iiod here in her own family's home.

I I ,eah didn't have the heart to go on, though she wished I din1 might tell Sadie how sorry she was Jonas had died so terIlllily young, leaving her a widow. Awful sorry ...

Leah felt nearly too ill to attend the required membership "I' t I ing the Sunday following Sadie's arrival, but she went

'nyway, sitting clear in the back, thus allowing herself no

i r.nal memory of repentant Sadie kneeling before the People.

I'n I her ears surely witnessed Sadie's embarrassing, even frank

"ixls of confession the repeated meetings in the hunter's

li.ick in the woods, the loss of her illegitimate son. . . . She hiiged, wishing to stop up her ears, as well, but surely . . .

ufdy, Sadie's heart was pure before God and the People.

i irely Sadie hadn't come home to repent just because she was

I widow and all alone in the world.

Leah, nevertheless, had become quite ill with an early .itiCumn flu. The stress of having to vote to receive her .liunned sister back into the fold had made her absolutely nieen round the gills, but she did her duty as a church meml or in good standing. Good thing the ministers can't see into my I wart, she thought, despising her own reluctance to forgive .ind forget.

After the common meal at Uncle Jesse Ebersol's place, where house church had been held, several couples and their

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families followed Dat's carriage back home for a visit. Naomi and Luke Bontrager came with their little boys, as well ait Hannah and Gid and their girls.

Mary Ruth joined all of them after church, as well, just as she'd quickly come to visit on the first evening of Sadie's anv val.

Leah felt some better later in the afternoon and joined the' cheerful group, though she kept to herself, not stepping info her usual role as hostess. No doubt sensing her difficulty, desir Lizzie filled her shoes instead, and Leah pulled up a chair, relieved to simply sit and not lift a finger.

Abe hovered near, evidently not interested in playing with his cousins. Leah was glad for his company and that hi' stood protectively beside her chair for the longest time. Lydiann, however, was her outgoing self, readily engaging the laughter and attention of the big sister she'd never known. Because of the severity of the shunning, neither Lydiann nor Abe could remember hearing Sadie's name uttered in their lifetime. So there was much catching up to be done, and everyone, especially Sadie, seemed to enjoy the spontaneous get-together. They all stayed and talked till milking time, and then disbanded outdoors with Naomi and Sadie weeping in each other's arms, best friends reuniting under the canopy ol heaven.

Dear Lord, please give me the grace I need, Leah pleaded. But the tearful scene was too much for her, and she slipped back into the house to soothe herself yet again.