Abram's Daughters 03 The Sacrifice (33 page)

M)!lll',

Hi 11 now Jonas had been killed building a silo. Such risky,

i' dangerous work anybody knew that. Especially for a

hi'iiv carpenter!

I '< >r Sadie lived with the same familiar pain of loss as he iliiI I lie realization swept over him, and he felt sorry for his ttiuliivalent feelings toward his own flesh and blood . . , even ulittr nil these years of her absence and her defiant refusal to

I \kv recompense here at home, where it most mattered.

"Will ya write and remind her of what she must do?" he i I-ml I be bishop.

The burly man leaned on the baler and looked him iillicit in the face. "I'm sure you miss her and I can't blame vi lor it. I'll write her what's expected. If she's yielded and u'ipchMo, I'll let you know." '.: : ' :

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Stunned at the change in the bishop's attitude, Ahrmn nodded. "I'll wait to hear from you. Denki!" :

The older man headed out toward the sinking sun. Tim, almost as if he'd forgotten to say what was still on his muni he turned and asked, "How will this affect Leah, do ya iliinl- " And your young children, too?"

Abram inhaled sharply. "Once you hear back from my cM est, I'll speak with Leah, break it to her . . . somehow. Then she and I will decide what to tell Lydiann and Abe."

"I'll drop by again. I 'spect it'll be soon."

Sadie needs us now, he thought. Surely she'll abide by f/it Ordnung this time.

He watched as the bishop made his way toward his biifjuv, wondering how to go about telling Leah, when it was tiim* I have some fences to mend, he thought ruefully.

Leah sat down in the kitchen with Dat, who had come in ; from the barn midafternoon, removed his straw hat, inn): placed it slowly on the table. "I have some news for ya, Lc;ih," Breathing deeply, he sat next to her on the wooden bench, "Your sister's comin' home with the bishop's blessing. She snyi she wants to repent."

"My sister?" Her heart leaped up. Sadie's returning to us!

Dat continued, explaining the letter and visit of a wed ago, the bishop's follow-up all of it. Leah hung on even word, yet wondered why her father's somber face did nm match his joyful words. "What's wrong, Dat? Why are ya s;nl'"

He faltered just then, staring long at the floor. When lu

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PPPki'iI up, the color had drained from his face. "Truth is, she's < ..nun' hack a widow."

I In- I horny words narrowly stuck in her mind. M)> sister, a

tl'lilrl'll1.'

She studied Dat, struggling with the meaning of this. So ^mus must be dead.

H[ I );ii was talking again, but she scarcely heard a word.

HjiH 111ing that had been buried so long ago broke free within

' ' Years of innocent pretense, of hoping and striving . . .

uiiiig to forgive Sadie and praying it was so. All of it sim-

iihI in the surface in that moment, and no longer could she

11 "in I lack the tide. She put her head down and sobbed on her

HIM:

I >;it reached out to comfort her. "There, there, my lamb," Mfehaid, the way Mamma always had. "This, too, shall pass." ^B Powerless to think of anything but her own loss of Jonas, ^m raised her head, eyes clouded with tears. "Nee no!" she ^ftU'd. "My sister took my beau . . . my beloved. Don't you Hr She stole the years that were meant for me for Jonas fll me! Now he's i^ad, gone forever!"

^m I 'at's face fell, plainly dumbfounded at her outburst. ^E'lih. . . ?" His eyes were intent on her, a concerned frown his face.

M Beneath his gaze, she felt as foolish as a young child. Yet r was crushed to near despair.

Abram, taken aback by Leah's outburst, had never seen In i so distraught, neither so outspoken. Promptly he stopped living to calm her, feeling inadequate to do so. I should've .i\/

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Never had he felt comfortable when it came to a wcoplnc woman. Here Leah was, unable to dry her tears, beside he rut* 11 with fresh grief over Sadie's betrayal. Just when he had bei'ii so sure she was long past her anger and sadness.

He wondered how to make things better, how to place 111> ultimate blame where it belonged. He contemplated rdllui' her of his conversation with Jonas, the two of them hidden away in the cornfield the day of Leah's and Jonas's baptLsnin Such a confession might redirect Leah's resentment- ami rightly so.

He rose to stretch his legs and move about the kitchen, in give himself a chance to think how he ought to reve;il hit deception, beginning with his furtive phone call to David Mellinger clear back when Jonas first began courting Leah, when she was merely sixteen. And . . . ending with IVln Mast's visit over a year later, when Abram had spoken hull truths, not putting to rest the rumor that there was some! I hum more than innocent friendship between Gid and Leah. All nl his subtle scheming to keep Jonas away far removed I ruin Leah. For what purpose? So Smithy Gid could have 11In chance, nothing more. Clearly from Leah's apparent anguish, he had been decidedly wrong on all counts.

Inhaling slowly, he felt he must open up to her, to coiiIcn at least in part. "There's something you oughta know. I should've told ya, oh, so long ago."

She looked at him, visibly puzzled, eyes red.

"I'm mighty sorry," he began again. "From the deep ol nn heart, I am."

She remained silent.

"Jonas marrying your sister was partly my fault," he said.

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I "Your fault? How can that be?" :

I lie was pacing now. I regret the day I ever meddled with her

mnv, lie thought. Leah's a maidel now because of me.

I "Dat? What is it?" Leah asked, her pretty brow lined with

lip concern.

I "Nan" he began. "I was a fool. .. ."

I A bewildered look crossed her face, yet it was evident she

pnivd to understand, to hear him out. "Whatever do ya

Lm, Dat?"

I I le stood near the wood stove, feeling mighty chilled; he

liln'i dare consider sitting at the table any longer, so far from

F

|i ilow fire in the belly of the stove. No, he needed the

Inmib. As it was, he could barely relax the muscles in his |w I'nough to speak, to make his mouth form the words that In .1 finally be said.

m-

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INot only was Leah perplexed at the idea of Sadie's return ing home, she was dismayed to think Dat had created feeling of doubt in Jonas regarding her faithfulness to him, shedding more than a little suspicion on Leah's companionable assod ation with Gid!

She recalled the alarming letter Jonas had sent so lon^ ago, asking her pointed questions about Smithy Gid. l\ n Jonas had gotten his doubts about her from Dat, of all people, Still, what part had Sadie played in this? Leah had not fully understood the ins and outs of Peter Mast's visit here tli;ii

autumn day as described by Dat, and she wondered if I in father was holding back other things he'd rather not say; she could only imagine what they might be.

Nevertheless, Sadie was soon to be traveling home, ;nul Leah needed to make some necessary sleeping arrangemeni.v She asked Dat if he'd mind moving downstairs to the spniv bedroom off the front room, and he agreed immediately, giving up the largest of the bedrooms to Leah and Lydiann, wlm didn't mind sharing the room over the kitchen, the warmoNt

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I thr house. Even if Sadie had more than one or two chilHgh 111 I u\l down, in no way did Leah feel comfortable handl| over Dat and Mamma's bedroom to their disobedient tlghlt'i" and her offspring. Jonas and Sadies little ones . . . I I l.innah and Mary Ruth's former bedroom would become lull'- nnd her children's, since it was the farthest removed Bo,, Leah's new bedroom a good idea, she thought. Abe, Ri his heart, would have Leah's old room, with its lovely Mi w of the barnyard and the woods.

1 ' < i il was decided, and she was glad Dat never questioned In 'i\c iota. Each of them would have a place to call his or I* i >vvn, and Leah would still be near enough to Lydiann and pi i , in look after them a bit.

I I i'/.zie helped her wash down the walls and redd up the I' ii.- loom for Dat, and he promptly moved his clothing and |> i > !ml items the next day. When all the changes had been nude ;ind the rooms were ready on Saturday, Leah put a pot K chicken corn soup on the stove for supper, then asked lyliunn to watch and stir it every so often. I ' -lie noticed a whole flock of wild turkeys two dozen or i"ic -strutting around the barnyard and even more of them En iIn- cornfield, finding leftovers from the harvest, as she kciided up to the woods to visit Hannah. Once there, she was |(ippy to see petite and sweet Ida Mae who, at almost three, wns as chatty and fair as Mary Ruth had always been. "She IVen looks like your twin when she was tiny!" Leah said, to which Hannah agreed.

Katie Ann, the other wee dishwasher in the making, was Illki to be napping. "She does so twice a day now, which is

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right nice," Hannah said, pushing back a loose strand nl strawberry blond hair.

Leah got down on the floor and played with Ida Mae, wl n > was talking to the knitted-sock hand puppet Hannah liml made. It was one Leah had used through the years to sooilic hurt or ailing children at Dr. Schwartz's medical clinic.

"Should we plan something special for our lost sister wln-n she returns?" Hannah asked.

She would not share with Hannah how despairing she fell about Sadie. "Maybe so" was all she said.

"Wouldn't it be fun? A right nice welcome home."

Leah rose and headed for the door, struggling with 11 ulump in her throat.

"You just got here," Hannah called to her. "What's yoni hurry?"

"I thought of walking in the woods, that's all." She didn'i say she needed some time alone, that she felt all this pressure in her chest might cause her to suffocate.

"Aw, Leah, come back. Are ya sad over Preacher Yodci';. passing?"

"I ... I'll see ya later." Right then she felt sorry aboui being short with Hannah, but she couldn't stay a minute longer, not if she didn't want to be seen weeping.

Hurrying out the back door, she rushed past the stone w;ill and gardens, noticing that the recent killing frost had pui ;m end to Hannah's late-summer flowers. But Leah didn't dunstop to sit there and try to calm herself. She hastened on, trying in vain to locate her cherished honey locust tree, Inn too many years had come and gone since the bliss-filled hour, spent beneath its trunk.

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She pressed on, looking anxiously for her favorite tree,

viire of geese overhead, honking their way south for the winii, Eventually unable to find her way to her former piece of

.nth, she headed up a ways to the crest of the hillock, to the i iltI hunter's shanty, surprised it was still standing though I m rely that.

Deciding against going inside, she wandered around and I'Hiked for a place to sit where she could be alone with the lowering trees and the dense foliage, soaking up the peace IH re. She found a cluster of boulders, recalling this to be the I nit where Smithy Gid had found her the day she'd wandered lure and gotten herself lost. Not worried that such a thing would occur again, she sat herself down. So Hannah wants to hi we a party, but Sadie deserves no such thing.

A scampering squirrel stopped to look at her, his tiny head lightly cocked as if to say, Hullo, lonely Leah. What're you lining here in my woods!

She realized she still had an imagination, probably thanks in the strong influence of the children her children. How she loved thejri! Cheerful yet outspoken Lydiann . . . and Abe, who was always caring, eager, and confident. Both seemed mighty glad to have her as a mamma and often said

SO.

But she best not think on such prideful things; she didn't need the children's reassurance. She just needed to simmer down like the kettle full of soup at home.

I've lost Jonas twice. She let the harsh truth seep into her hones. Once to Sadie and now to death, both in the space of nine

years. ; : > '. .

She felt she'd aged in just a few days of grieving Jonas's

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death. Holding her slender hands out before her, she peered at small veins protruding through pale skin. It's a good thmr Smithy Gid woke up and married Hannah, she thought, feclinr at once sorry for herself, yet knowing what a happy coupl> Gid and Hannah were.

Looking up, she tried to see the sky, but only the tinicii dots of light shone through the canopy. She was taken anew by the quietude and suddenly missed her youth, gone with thfl

years. m

When she heard whistling, she turned to see where thfl sound hailed from, and there was Aunt Lizzie tramping toward her. "Hullo, honey-girl!"

"Out for an afternoon walk?" she asked, glad to see her.

"Been trampin' through these woods for a gut many ye;n:> now; don't 'spect I'll quit anytime soon." Lizzie came and s:it next to her on the boulder. "I daresay you aren't walkin' so much as thinkin'."

She knows me through and through.

"Your sister's comin' home and you're beside yourscll, ain't?"

"That'd be one way of puttin' it."

"Well, best get it out of your system before she arrives." Lizzie mopped her brow with the palm of her hand.

"How would ya say I oughta go 'bout that?"

Lizzie straightened a bit, pushing her work shoes down deep into the leaves and vines. "Lean hard on the Lord, honey-girl."

Wondering, she voiced the question aloud. "Does God truly know how I'm feelin' just now?" : '.

Lizzie started a little and looked Leah full in the face. "He

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V th In time of suffering you're goin' through . . . that it's

1 il linril. But this must be His plan for you, as difficult as

1 In to understand. Life ain't a bed of roses; it's downright

iflll ut times. But I 'spect if ya get your eyes off yourself

I |i ii k nt your sister, you'll see she's in need of our love now