Abram's Daughters 03 The Sacrifice (15 page)

j She wondered how to describe the deep longing in both j I hi1 heart and lizzie's. "I s'pose at one time or 'nother, most : ill of us yearn after the Lord Jesus in a way that may be diffl! nil" to understand." She hoped her comments might whet

I i-.ih's appetite to walk with the Lord God heavenly Father in i .imilar manner.

"I promised, at the time of my baptism, to uphold the

I liclnung." Leah fiddled with the oilcloth on the table before

Koing on. "You're not sayin' you go beyond what the brethren

I each at Preaching service in the prayers you speak of ... are

yiu

"To honor the unwritten code of behavior amongst the

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People is all well and good, but it's equally important to obey God's Word, the Holy Bible."

Leah looked up just then, catching Ida's eye. "Aunt Lizzie taught me to talk to God from my heart, as she likes to say. After Jonas and I ... after we didn't end up getting married, when I was ever so brokenhearted, Lizzie helped pick up the pieces of my life by showing me the way to open up my spirit to the Holy One."

"I pleaded with her to do so," Ida admitted. "I felt this was something you and she could share mother and daughter, ya know."

Leah got up abruptly and came around the table. She sat next to her and leaned her head on Ida's shoulder. "Oh, Mamma, I don't know what I ever did to deserve two such loving women in my life. You and Lizzie . . ." She brushed away her tears. "I'm mighty grateful . . . and I hope ya know."

Drawn anew to Leah, she patted her girl's face. "The way I look at it, God must've loved Lizzie and me a lot to give you to both of us. Such a dear one you are."

At this Leah straightened and reached around her and gave a gentle squeeze. "I'm all the better for it, Mamma."

"All three of us are," Ida declared, getting up to warm her tea.

"In case you're wonderin', it makes no difference when it is that I find out who was my first father. I've decided to be patient in this and simply wait till Lizzie's ready to share with me . . . and not before."

You may have to wait forever on that, Ida thought but did not voice it. .......:' ,.. .,.. , '.-.-.-: . .. '..:. . .;.:.: 145 O a c r ifit

I I cnh hurried to the cellar to help Mamma run the clothes

hiuuKh the wringer between Monday morning milking and

ffitkliisl. Hannah and Mary Ruth were already working in

Wkv kitchen, and Leah was glad for that. She could stay put

m h Mamma, aware of an extra-special closeness on this

li<" nili(j; of a new day, wanting to continue the conversation

Mr hi lust night.

"Why don't the ministers teach us to pray the way you

HIul Aunt Lizzie do?" Leah asked when it appeared they might

ii alone for a while longer.

I Mamma glanced toward the stairs. '"Tis best you keep

III11 li things to yourself."

I "Why's that?" She felt strangely intrigued, as if sharing

CUin'thing forbidden.

I "The brethren need not know of this." Mamma looked a

K

pit worried now. "There are different ways of lookin' at things,

Jill us I'm concerned. If a body wants to speak directly from the heart to the Almighty not use the rote prayers then Iwho's to stop him or her?" She nodded her head. "This happens to be one of those big issues that, sad to say, is downright lfll|4gling. Divisive, even, amongst the People." I "Hinnerlich?"

I "Oh my, ever so troublesome, jah."

I She wondered what other things Mamma might be refer-

I Hi IK to; the not knowing caused even more of an urge to ques-

mnn. Still, she was obedient and held her peace, trusting God

to bring things to light in His own timing and way. > ., ..

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When lunch had been cleared away, Mamma sent Leah over to Miriam Peachey's with a large casserole of Washday Dinner, consisting of a hearty layer of onions, an ample coating of sliced new potatoes, tomato juice, and sausages.

"Mamma heard you were under the weather," Leah said, handing the meal to the smithy's wife, her someday motherin-law, Lord willing.

Miriam's face warmed with the gesture as she accepted the tasty offering with a smile and a joyful "Denki!" then asked, "Tell me, how's your mamma now?"

"Oh, she has her energy back and is doin' all her regular work and keepin' up with Lydiann, too," Leah assured her.

Miriam nodded her head and thanked Leah once more.

"I'll return the favor next week."

"No need to, really. Mamma's feelin' wonderful-gut. Has some trouble sleepin' at night but that's all." Leah turned to go, noticing Gid in his father's blacksmith shop, running the blower, stirring up the coals to make the forge hotter. She wouldn't bother him by going over to say a quick hello when it was obvious how occupied he was just now.

Returning home, she found herself imagining how busy Smithy Gid would be as her husband, managing his blacksmithing obligation to his father, as well as his work with Dat, which would take Gid back and forth between the Peachey and Ebersol farms. Not to mention his own work hauling and splitting wood for the cook stove and mowing and keeping things tidy outdoors, wherever he and she might end up living. She wondered if Aunt Lizzie might possibly move down

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m\ rh hnwili Haus to care for Dawdi John at some point, wklnu il possible for Leah and Gid to live as newlyweds in Hit1 till k' log house half in and half out of the woods. No one ^t'viT suggested such a thing, but she smiled at the idea, ^HdMK how much fun it would be to get her pretty things HPfrnin her hope chest, making a home at last for herself iin

111' i nwn future, back when she was Leah's age. Was she at all id' me when she was young? Did she think some of the same |i'< lights as \ do now? She tried to imagine Lizzie Brenneman jf milering outside as a young girl, talking quietlike to a favorin- ilo|j; like Leah often did to companionable King or lit inking up at the black night sky, speckled with bright stars, Ml It I wishing she could count them, so many there were. L )usl who will I be? Leah wondered. In the future, will I be Hfj/Kv! with the choices I make now? Who will 1 become in the H|| of the Lord, and will He be pleased with me?

Nobody knew it, but the night Leroy Stoltzfus had come

Inio I he kitchen to tell the news of Elias's accident, Mary

I'ill i had felt her heart turn nearly hard as a stone. She could

I lively hear what Leroy was saying only the words Elias died

I' 'im;/if had broken through.

11 was as if she had willingly stopped up her own ears I $n ii nohow. She didn't know for sure if the tuckered-out feeling Hp had just now was a delayed reaction to the funeral, this H|ng the eighth day since the shocking news had come. She

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felt heavy inside as she headed upstairs and sat on her side of the bed, on top of the colorful handmade quilt made by Mamma and Mammi Ebersol years before.

She ought not to have been surprised when, nearly thirty minutes later, Leah tiptoed near, settled on the floor near the bed, and leaned her head against the mattress, her hand resting on Mary Ruth's. "You can cry for Elias all ya want, but I won't have you up here cryin' alone."

Tears continued to seep out of the corners of her eyes, spilling down the bridge of her nose. "Oh, I miss him so ... I just can't say how awful much."

"Mary Ruth, honey ... I believe I understand," Leah replied.

She knows 'cause she lost Jonas . . . just not to death, thought Mary Ruth, at least glad of the latter for poor Leah. "But I can't begin to know how you must've felt, Leah . . . you-know-who doin' what she did."

They fell quiet, the two of them there together, both acquainted with similar sorrow.

When Mary Ruth got the strength to speak again, it was a whisper. "Would you help me talk to Dat 'bout getting my education? He's ever so fired up these days."

A flicker of a frown creased Leah's brow. "Well, I don't know."

"Please, sister? See if you can gain some ground for me."

Leah sighed. "All right, I'll do whatever I can."

"You'll go and speak to him, then?" She wanted to get up, she felt that much encouraged, but she sat there without moving, still exhausted. :

"I'll do what I'm able." This was Leah's promise to her.

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I " That's ever so gut and I'm grateful." She gripped Leah's

In i

in. Mr."

I " I'hen why do it?" came the quick reply. "Dat wants only

Jimi '* best for you."

I "I d'pose I'm too quick to say what I'm thinkin' is all. You

JOW me everyone knows how much I like to talk. Gets me

in it water more than I can say; more than I should say. And Jtietlmes the talkin' gets mixed up with the thinkin', and u|'n when I have the most trouble."

I I ,cal\ smiled sweetly. "Seems to me you could do more kink In' and less, well . . . you know." I "I'll keep that in mind."

I In tins they both smiled. Mary Ruth felt more hopeful hi I cured for when Leah was near and she told her so. What Br did not say was that she had run off to Dottie Nolt, mad

,ill get out, and discovered another sympathetic ear down

I1 ii >ad. No, it was best Dat or anyone else not know she was [ill mg to the "enemy," so to speak, though the Nolts were ji< nicest, kindest Englishers she'd ever known, and she sin| i. ly liked them. Still, if Dat knew they'd invited Mary Ruth I > > ('ine live with them, well, he'd raise the barn roof forkin ;ind for certain. ./.; .,...

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.Leah was out helping Dat split wood the morning after her heart-to-heart with Mary Ruth when she got up the nerve to say something about her grieving sister's zeal for education. "I know you've already talked this out with Mary Ruth some time back, but she's more determined than ever to attend high school."

Dat avoided her gaze, raising his ax clear behind his head and back, then bringing it forward to meet the log. "She oughta know better than to put you up to this," he grumbled when he'd sliced through the piece of wood with a single blow.

"I just thought "

"How can you, Leah?" he interjected. "Why must y;i think your sister will benefit in any way from stubbornly lusting after the world?"

"She'll probably do it, anyway. Why not give her the goahead just as you allowed both of us girls to work outside the home?" she replied softly.

He leaned hard on the ax, the blade next to the soil. "If 1

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|( liw iitlrinl public high school, she might end up like . . ." li ln|ipcd short of uttering Sadie's name.

I.enh had scarcely felt like speaking up in defense of somekg (the herself did not believe in, yet she'd dared to, know^H Mury Ruth's torment over wanting something she could i^hiivi!. Leah was stuck, it seemed, loving Mary Ruth and \ 11 it Ink to honor Dat and do the right thing.

lie locked at her, eyes blazing. "I say if you're to be Mary tiiili'i mouthpiece, then tell her this for me. Tell her she is i I'tfi^er welcome in this house if she chooses to disobey her Tl"

)h no, Dat . . . no. This was the worst thing for Mary '"ill, because surely now she would leave; she was just that i .I born. Without Elias alive to keep her linked to the People i" I I let" Amish roots, she would most certainly fly away to the

Lcnh tried tcteget Mamma to sit down and rest in her big In iliooin. She had asked Hannah to play with Lydiann for a wliilf, hoping to coax Mamma off her feet and into bed. Terrll il v distressed at the news of Mary Ruth packing her clothes, Minima began to weep.

"Maybe she won't like high school," Leah suggested, ybling it herself.

Hfc"No ... no ... no," sobbed Mamma. " 'Tis wrong, ever so ^BnK> To push her out of the nest too soon like this." ^Spooling awkward about hearing Mamma voice her disapHfvnl of Dat's decision, Leah hovered near. Mamma was

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standing in defiance, looking out the bedroom window. "Best talk to Dat 'bout all this," whispered Leah.

"I'll talk all right!" Mamma turned and suddenly fell into Leah's arms. "Oh, what's to become of us? First my eldestdaughter, now Mary Ruth."

"Preacher Yoder says all is not lost till it's truly too late. 'As long as there's breath there is hope,' he says, ya know."

"Life and hope, jah. I just don't want to see Mary Ruth sent away like this. We all love her so!" She began to cry again. "What'll dear Hannah do, bless her heart? They're close twins, for goodness' sake."

Leah felt like sobbing, too, but she needed to be stronger than poor Mamma. Wordlessly she helped her mother over to the bed to stretch out a bit, then closed the door and tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen, where she would start supper soon. First, though, Leah must tend to sad Hannah, check on Lydiann . .. and pray fervently for God's grace and mercy to fill this too-empty house.

Leah, Lydiann, and Aunt Lizzie piled into the second seat of the buggy the Saturday of the planned visit to Hickory Hollow. Mamma and Dat sat up front. Hannah, having volunteered her companionship, stayed home with Dawdi John, who was suffering a head cold and a sore throat. Leah was fairly sure the real reason Hannah had stayed behind was to steal away to the Nolts' for a good long visit with Mary Ruth; that way Dat wouldn't have to know about it and neither

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Ihnilil Miiiiiinii, who was beginning to worry Leah and Lizzie

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I l/.'lr had made a fuss about Mamma making the long trip i"l iy, Inii her pleas had fallen on deaf ears. "I don't need IHrnpt'iin'," Mamma said in response to Lizzie's entreaty. '$ HfNidcs that, Dat didn't look too kindly on Lizzie interferhe with I In- set plans for this brisk, yet sunny afternoon. "I'll i id Ida. You see to yourself," he snapped, startling Leah.