About the Boy (12 page)

“Deal,” he said. “Wait until I tell the guys. Can I go call Sean and everybody right now?”

“Go ahead,” Katie said with a laugh, enjoying her son’s excitement. “If any of the mothers want to talk to me, let me know. But make sure you tell them I’ll be here supervising all night long.”

“Yeah, and if you don’t mind, I’ll be your backup,” Lucas said, knowing how rambunctious a group of preteen boys could be when they were together, and all wound up. “Reinforcements never hurt the cause,” Lucas added knowingly.

“You’ll come, too?” Rusty asked, his eyes widening hopefully, and Lucas looked at Katie.

“If it’s all right with your mom. After all I’ve got to bring the television over anyway.”

“That would be wonderful,” Katie admitted, realizing Lucas knew of her fear and was trying to cover for her. “And since you’ve done all of this, and are supplying the television, how about if I make dinner? A sort of thank-you dinner,” she added softly. Their gazes met and clung.

Katie’s stomach tumbled over, as it always did whenever Lucas looked at her like that. It made her feel as if she was the only woman in the world.

Unabashedly pleased, Lucas grinned. “You’ve got yourself a date.” He froze the moment the words were out, realizing what he’d said, but to his relief, Katie didn’t seem to notice.

“But we’re having pizza, right?” Rusty asked, just wanting to be sure.

“Yes. As much as you can eat,” Katie assured him. “Now go call your friends so we can have dinner.”

Watching her son lope off, Katie laughed and shook her head, aware that Lucas was still holding her hand, his fingers warm and comforting on hers.

“How on earth did you know?” she asked the moment Rusty was out of earshot.

“What? That you were afraid of heights?” he asked with a laugh when she nodded and pressed her hand to her stomach. Just talking about heights made her queasy. “Probably because you lost about three shades of color from your face when Rusty asked you if you wanted to go up.”

“If I was meant to be that high up in the air, I’d have been born with a parachute,” she said with a scowl, only mildly embarrassed by her fear. “Or wings.”

“Yeah, well, we’ve all got our little secrets,” he said with a chuckle, nudging her around to start toward the house.

Yes, we do, she thought, but decided not to say anything, not wanting to spoil the wonderful mood. But Lucas’s secrets were still preying on her mind. As much as she’d tried to put them aside, it was hard to ignore the fact that he still didn’t trust her enough to tell her about his past. However, she simply couldn’t bring herself to ask him about his past, not again.

At least not yet. Now wasn’t the time, she realized. Not tonight when her son was so filled with joy. She couldn’t remember when she’d seen Rusty so happy.

And she knew she had Lucas to thank. Oh, the things this man was doing to her heart, she mused silently.

“Lucas?”

“Mmm?” he asked as they started up the back steps.

“I don’t know how to thank you. You’ve done so much for Rusty, made such a difference in his life. Maybe I wasn’t exactly thrilled with this idea at first, I mean I didn’t know enough about the Buddy for a Boy program to feel all that comfortable, but you’ve made me very comfortable. And my son very, very happy.” And for that she would be forever grateful.

“He’s made me happy, too, Katie,” he said softly, turning to her. They hadn’t bothered with the back-porch light and now they stood bathed in the soft darkness of early evening. The wind blew up, and Katie shivered. “I can’t tell you how much being with Rusty has meant to me, too,” he added.

And he knew he couldn’t tell her, couldn’t tell her about the heartbreak and pain that had been such a part of his life for so long he almost couldn’t remember when it hadn’t been a part of him.

He couldn’t tell her how just being around her and Rusty had somehow miraculously seemed to lighten his grief. It hadn’t erased it, nothing ever would, but for the first time in two years he began to feel as if there truly was some light at the end of this long, dark tunnel of pain.

“Rusty’s truly an exceptional kid,” he added, slipping his arms around her to bring her closer when he saw her shiver again. “You should be very proud of him.” He hesitated. “Cold?”

“A little,” she said softly, lifting her chin to look at him. He took a step closer as he drew her nearer to him until their bodies were only a breath apart.

His eyes were so blue, so beautiful, so pained. It always made her own heart ache a little to see such pain and sadness in Lucas’s eyes. What kind of pain, what kind of grief put that look in his eyes?

She wasn’t certain she could answer that question.

His eyes were telling her there still wasn’t the kind of trust of her—in her—that should be there, especially now that he’d gotten to know her, her son and her family so well, but his body was saying something entirely different.

His eyes might deny wanting her, or feeling anything for her, but his body—warm, masculine and pressed against hers—was telling her something else.

For tonight, she was simply going to enjoy the evening. And let her heart lead her. Just for tonight.

“Katie, thank you for sharing your son with me.” Overcome by all the emotions swarming him, Lucas leaned in and gently brushed his lips against hers.

She moaned softly, lifting her hands to his shirt, then sliding them up to his neck, hanging on as he deepened the kiss until she felt as if the ground had tilted under her.

Awakened on some deep, primal level, she moaned and leaned into him, giving back as much as he gave, forgetting about all her rules and obligations for a moment to savor this.

Her arms tightened around him as his tongue gently outlined her lips, plunging her into a kaleidoscope of feelings that swirled through her, threatening to drown her in a sea of emotions so strong, so intense, she could feel her entire world shift off balance.

She loved the scent of him, the touch of him, the feel of him, and now, she simply let herself enjoy it. Gave herself permission to forget everything and just savor every delicious moment.

For the first time in a long time she no longer felt like just an overworked single mom, or a doting daughter, or a responsible reporter. She felt like a young, vibrant woman with wants and needs.

And desires. Desires that she’d buried and kept banked for as long as she could remember.

But now, Lucas had awakened in her all the things she’d been trying to deny for so very long. Knowing he’d awakened such feelings frightened her, but not enough to pull out of his arms.

Joy. It had been so long since she’d felt it, she almost didn’t recognize it, that wild flight of all thought, all reason, escaping quickly so that a lightness and peace, a wild contentment, could seep into all the places that reason and thought had once filled.

Something dark and dangerous kindled, then leapt to life inside Lucas, something he’d carefully kept contained and controlled for over two years. But now, touching Katie, kissing her, just being with her had awakened so many sleeping demons, demons he wasn’t certain he’d be able to control.

There was something between them, something so primal and urgent, he felt it rip through him wildly, sending his every nerve ending on a roller-coaster ride.

Slowly, degree by degree, he deepened the kiss, dragging Katie even closer until she was pressed against the length of him. The softness of her body, the pliancy of her trust, touched his heart in a way that astounded him.

Lust. He remembered it sneaking up on him the night he met her, remembered, too, the guilt that came with it—guilt that he could still feel such a normal, human emotion when he’d been all but certain every emotion he’d ever had had withered and died on a cold Chicago morning two years ago.

Trying to catch his breath, and regain some control, Lucas tightened his hands on Katie’s slender waist and reluctantly drew back from her.

Her eyes were dreamy and unfocused, her lower lip slightly puffy and red from his mouth.

How could he ever explain to her that he couldn’t allow himself to feel anything for her? Couldn’t allow himself to open up or trust anyone that much again?

He needed to step back, put some distance between them until he was certain he could control himself and his emotions. Something he’d never had a problem with until he’d met Katie.

“Look, Katie, I think—”

“Hey, Ma?” Rusty appeared in the doorway, and Katie flushed, not certain how long her son had been standing there or how much he’d seen. Self-consciously, she eased back a bit from Lucas.

“Yes, honey?” she said, turning to him with a smile. He didn’t look traumatized or alarmed, merely impatient, so she tried to relax.

“Sean’s ma wants to talk to you about tomorrow night.”

“Okay, honey, I’ll be right in.” She turned to Lucas, dragged a hand through her hair and blew out a breath, trying to garner back some control. “Sorry,” she said with a shrug and a smile. “Duty calls.”

Nodding, he opened the door for her, wondering exactly what he was going to do about his growing feelings for her. And her son. Feelings he knew in his heart were forbidden if he wanted to protect himself.

You could really learn a lot about a woman watching how she handled a houseful of rowdy, rambunctious preteen boys, Lucas realized the next evening.

Leaning against the counter in Katie’s kitchen as she all but had to shovel from the kitchen table the debris the boys had left behind from dinner, Lucas watched her and marveled.

“Well, I’d say you’ve done this more than once before,” he said mildly, a smile playing along his lips.

“Which part?” she asked with a laugh, as she continued to shovel paper goods, napkins, plates and cups into the garbage bag she was holding. “The part when they started tossing pizza back and forth at each other. Or when they decided to have a burping contest and guzzled down almost two quarts of soda in about five minutes flat?”

“Actually, I think my personal favorite was when they decided to have a spitting contest to see who could spit soda the farthest,” he said mildly, tucking his tongue in his cheek to try to contain a smile.

“Well, with four brothers of your own I’m sure this brought back lots of memories,” she said, glancing up at him and watching him nod as he tried to bank a smile.

“Oh, yeah. Like I said, my brothers and I gave my mom our fair share of trouble.”

“Trouble,” Katie repeated with a nod. “Now that’s a word that goes pretty much hand in hand with raising boys. That and the phrase, ‘What on earth were you thinking?’” she said with another laugh. “I’ll bet every mother of a boy has said that phrase about a million times.”

“At which point most boys answer, ‘Thinking? What do you mean what was I thinking, Ma?’” Lucas supplied, laughing and remembering his own son’s frequent refrain. “‘I wasn’t…thinking.’”

“Exactly.” Katie realized he knew a lot more about raising boys than he’d ever let on. Much more, she had a feeling, than just being one of four boys in a family would allow. It was interesting and curious, she decided, and just added to her growing list of questions about Lucas’s past.

“But all in all I think you handled everything well,” he commented, glancing out the kitchen window to make sure the boys were still in the clubhouse. He’d personally supervised them going in and up, making certain they were safe and sound before admonishing them they were not to come down, leave, or go anywhere without letting him or Katie know. “You managed to hang onto your temper, your patience, and your sanity—no small feat I might add.”

Pleased in spite of herself, Katie shrugged off his compliment. “I’ve had lots of experience,” she said, as she swiped the last of the debris off the table and closed and tied up the garbage bag. “I never intended for Rusty to be an only child,” she said quietly, glancing up at him. “I guess maybe because I was an only child, I wanted him to have the experience of having brothers and sisters.” She shrugged again, but he could hear the wistfulness in her voice. “But I guess it wasn’t destined in my life plan,” she said easily, trying to hide the disappointment as she set the garbage bag by the door to be taken out. “So I’ve always tried to make certain Rusty had plenty of friends to make up for it. He and Sean have been friends since first grade. Come to think of it, Rusty’s probably known all the boys for that long and I’ve always encouraged Rusty to bring his friends home.”

“If he’s here, you don’t have to worry about what he’s doing.”

“Exactly,” she said, realizing he knew more than a thing or two about raising kids, boys specifically, that had nothing to do with having brothers.

“That’s what my mother always said,” he confessed with a smile. “Even with five boys of her own she still encouraged us to have our friends over. There probably wasn’t a weekend when we didn’t have at least two or three extra kids bunking down at our house.”

“Sounds like you had a very wonderful childhood.”

“Yeah,” he admitted softly. “I did. We weren’t rich by any means. I mean my dad was a cop and on a cop’s salary raising five kids wasn’t easy, but we never went without and we always knew there was an abundance of love, even if there wasn’t always an abundance of material things.” He hesitated. “It’s hard for me to imagine being an only child.” He didn’t think any kid should be an only child, which is why he’d wanted more children so badly.

Katie nodded, absorbing everything he said, desperately trying to put the few pieces of this puzzle called Lucas Porter together.

“I think when you have an only child it’s just common sense to want your kid to have plenty of close friends to sort of make up for being alone all the time,” she admitted.

“So you wanted more kids?” he asked quietly, dampening a sponge from the sink and handing it to her.

“Oh, yeah,” she admitted as she wiped down the kitchen table. “I actually wanted a houseful.”

“But what about your career?” Lucas asked carefully.

Katie stopped wiping and looked up at him. “What about it?” Cocking her head, she studied him. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those men who doesn’t believe a woman can have kids
and
a career?” She was going to throw the sponge at him if he was, she thought, as the phone rang. “Excuse me,” she said, scooting around the table to snatch up the phone.