Abithica (17 page)

Arrrgh!

I tried to back away, but he still had me in his arms. Just then, Faith blew into the kitchen like a dust devil, coming through the house instead of using the back door. How long had she been listening to us before that? Steven was right on her heels, so maybe not that long, but talk about the cat with a canary feather in its mouth!

“Was I ever surprised to see that red truck of yours in the driveway, Lane.” She tried acting nonchalant. “I thought you’d be working today. Mmmm, what’s cooking?”

Unfortunately, I caught her winking at him as she spoke. That could only mean the whole thing was a setup, even to his cooking dinner. She’d either called him, or seen him at the store and told him I was home. That was why he’d been looking for me in the backyard. He never said he actually rang the bell, only that I didn’t answer his knock. She’d certainly have warned him about Elvis singing if he did use the doorbell. The whole idea had been to catch me by surprise. Of course!

My little red demon started jumping up and down on my shoulder and jabbing me with his trident, but Lane put him to rest.

“I hope you’re both hungry,” he announced. “Sydney and I made dinner. She let me help with the small stuff.” He then shot me a smirk that could only mean I was to play along, no matter what he said. I decided my red demon could sit on his tantrum until later. “She just spent the past hour ordering me around your kitchen, so for heaven’s sake, pretend you like it even if you don’t. She’s a little scary.”

Then he flared his eyes into big kitten eyes. That’s what they were. The way Faith and Steven were both staring at me, I knew they believed him. What could I do but laugh with them? It really was funny, or maybe it was the kitten eyes that had gotten to me.

Faith immediately insisted he join us for dinner. During the bantering that followed, I was temporarily stunned by something I should have thought through a whole lot earlier. Sydney had run away to her punk life several years earlier, and before that she’d apparently been a real problem, running wild, as Faith put it. So when would she ever have spent time in a kitchen, learning to cook?

I’d have to come up with a fast answer to that one.

* * *

By the time we’d all seated ourselves at the dinner table, alarm bells were going off in every corner of my head. Lane’s presence complicated the situation, and Steven made it even worse, but my real problem was Faith. She’d take over, of course, the way she always did, and where could I run when that happened? Or hide? How could I avoid saying the wrong things? When would she make the remark about me and cooking?

I vowed to become a wallflower and say as little as possible, but as it turned out Lane and Steven dominated the small talk and poor Faith couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Steven kept cutting her off to praise Lane’s carpentry skills. Apparently Steven’s physician partner wanted an outdoor sauna, and Lane had built it for him. Faith and I got a full lecture on grades and prices of redwood and cedar, heaters, controls, and all that. Steven seemed particularly impressed by the fact that Lane had designed the sauna himself.

I sat there, marveling at the coincidence of Lane working for Steven’s partner, until I realized that it wasn’t a coincidence at all. Lane was definitely meant to be part of my assignment, which meant he’d eventually become Sydney’s “boyfriend,” which meant I was going to get a teaser taste but not the fulfilling banquet I hungered for, which meant
she’d
get everything in the end!

I struggled to remain calm, forcing my face into a reasonable smile from time to time when it seemed appropriate, but my mood was darkening by the moment and my red devil had sharpened his trident. He was waiting for just the right time to jab me with it. I kept waiting for Faith to snap when she was interrupted, but she never did, probably because she was just as impressed with Lane as Steven was. Why else would she keep pointing at him and giving me the thumbs up sign? Her gestures were anything but subtle, more like a screaming kid on an airplane. When I finally did catch her and Lane in mid-wink, I had no choice but to call her on it.

I slammed my empty wine glass down on the table, a little harder than I meant to, but not enough to break it. Conversation abruptly stopped. “Okay, Faith, what’s with all the winking? Is there something going on here that you’d like to explain?”

“Don’t be silly. I’m just glad to finally see you so happy, that’s all.” She pretended surprise.

“No, it’s more than that. You’d like me to admit you’ve been right and I’ve been wrong all along, isn’t that it? Why can I sense a victory dance somewhere on the horizon?”

Smirking, Lane stood up and performed a super ridiculous, super adorable dance. “All right, Little Miss Brave Britches, now it’s your turn. Come on. We’re waiting. Let’s hear how terribly wrong you were for standing me up and refusing to answer my phone calls.”

His smirk did it! I pushed my chair back and stood, waggling my index finger. “
You
… are a pushy, obnoxious, smart-aleck, Lane Riley… and… ah… hell, I admit it. I’m glad we’re friends. Is
that
what you wanted to hear?”

He sat back down, leaned forward, elbows on the table, looking smug. “Well, actually, now that you asked, your little speech had lots more room for details. Honestly? That was a tad bit disappointing. Put some feeling into it this time.”

I nearly snarled. Instead, I sat back down. Steven, God bless him, was setting a refilled glass of Merlot in front of me. I’d never noticed him pouring it, probably because I was already two glasses over my self-ordained limit. If they were waiting for me to get good and drunk, they wouldn’t have to wait much longer.

“All right,” I said slowly, “how about… I love you all and I can’t imagine life without any of you?”

“Better,” Lane conceded, squinting, “but still lacking that little… sparkle.” He nodded at Faith, who smiled rather nervously. She’d finally met someone who could push harder than she could.

Time for another swig of wine. There was no way out, so I got back up on my feet and launched into a rather long-winded speech about the importance of friendship, knowing my words were slurred. In fact, I wasn’t really sure what I was saying, and anyway, who cared? I wasn’t the one refilling my wine glass—they were.

It was Faith’s expression that stopped me. Then I noticed Steven’s look of pity, and finally turned to Lane. All three expressions ranged from disbelief to downright wonder.

“What? Why are you all looking at me that way?” I demanded.

“Why are you speaking in the third person, Sydney,” Faith asked. “Instead of ‘I’ and ‘me’, we’re all hearing ‘Sydney’ and ‘she’. Is this some kind of humor? Are you trying to be funny?” She suddenly looked sad.

“I wasn’t… I didn’t—”

“Yes, you did,” Lane interrupted. “But, in spite of that part, you seemed to believe the rest of what you were saying. If you
really
believed it, you’d trust us to help you with this memory thing.”

My demon was back! Up to then Lane’s kidding had been cute even if it had been a bit close to my tolerance line, but now he’d just crossed into dangerous territory and it was suddenly infuriating. Help me! They couldn’t give it a rest, especially Faith. Lane was nearly as bad.

“If you were truly my friend, Mr. Riley, you wouldn’t need to know about my past. You would trust my reasons for keeping quiet and accept me just the way I am, secrets and all.”

“Does that include ignoring the pain in your eyes, or pretending we don’t notice how upset you get when we ask certain questions? Like why you’re talking like you’re someone else?”

“Not everything can be fixed, Mr. Fix-it. You can’t fix a broken window pane by gluing the glass back together.”

“You’re absolutely right, some things can’t, but I don’t get the connection. Why does refusing to try make it any easier?”

I stood up fast enough for the dishes to clatter, then spun away from the table and charged toward my room. My red demon was giggling. “You have no idea what I’m up against, Lane. None of you do. How can you? I’m
living
it and STILL HAVEN’T FIGURED IT OUT!” I shouted my final words as the door slammed shut, then dove onto the bed and stuffed the pillow against my ears. Why did they have to push, push, push? First Faith and now Lane, and there wasn’t one single thing I could reveal to either of them.

I heard a gentle knock a short time later. It was him. “I did it again, didn’t I?” he asked through the closed door. “Sometimes I don’t know when to stop. I’m sorry.”

I thought for all of five whole seconds before scrambling to my feet and snatching the door open. Once again, four glasses of wine came to my rescue. What I’d given up in willpower came back in rescue power. I got my belated kiss right there, even if Lane did have to hold me steady for the whole five minutes it took us to disengage our mouths and put our hands away. No more Merlot for me! A bit wobbly, I let him lead me back to Faith and Steven. This time I just wouldn’t try to catch her winking or smiling or nodding. If that worked, I wouldn’t have to call her on any of it again.

The only other yelling after that came from me cheering on the Arizona Wildcat football team, and from Lane shouting at the referees. When the game was over, I followed him out to his pickup.

“I’ll call you when I get home,” he said, leaning against the door. “I never thought I’d say this to a chick, but fighting with you is kinda fun.” When he leaned over and kissed me on the lips, it caught me off guard. This one was a gentle peck, without the bear hug and fondling extras. Maybe he was saving up for the next big one? I could still feel the heat of his earlier kiss, among other sensations.

“You taste like cotton candy,” he said, licking his lips. “Being with you is like spending the day at the amusement park. There’s music, candy, and
lots
of wild rides.”

“Well, I never thought I’d say this to a
dude
, but being with you is like hanging out in a locker room with a bunch of sweaty boys all pumped up with too much testosterone, blurting out whatever’s on their minds.”

“Do I care that she’s smart, beautiful, mysterious, athletic, and sexy?” He chuckled. “Does it matter that I’m way over my head?” He waited an appropriate time, appearing to consider his own questions, then shook his head. “Nah!”

It was all for my benefit, of course. With that, he closed the door, started the engine, and drove away laughing. He had no idea how far over his head he was, because at that moment I was willing to do anything to keep him.

As soon as Lane’s pickup disappeared, I decided to take a walk rather than return to face Steven and Faith. Even if Lane had already smoothed things down with them, I needed some space and time.

I needed to put an end to another problem as well, without knowing the first thing about how to go about it: Sydney.

The hill behind Faith’s house was only about a hundred feet high. Careful to avoid the prickly pears, I started up the incline, talking out loud as soon as I was sure “we” wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Sydney, listen to me. We are
not
enemies. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have another person shove me aside and take over my life, but it must be pretty bad, so I’m sorry. I’m sorry for you, and sorry for me. You probably already sense that I don’t know what or who I am. Somehow I get shoved into people and take over their lives for awhile. It never lasts. I don’t control it. It happens without warning, and it leaves me emptier than anything you can imagine because it usually ends just when things seem to be going right. How frustrating is
that?
Can you hear me? Can you imagine what I’m telling you?

“You hated your mom, but I love her now that I know her better. She’s really someone very nice; a little eccentric, but still nice. The world needs more like her. And she’s fun on top of being nice. She wants so badly to make amends with whatever went wrong in your case. You must already know that if you’ve been aware of whatever has been going on.

“I’ve also fallen in love with Lane and Shae. I can’t help myself, but now I’m miserable because I’ll have to leave them when my next switch happens. Lane sees you, but he’s sensing
me.
That means he’ll be terribly hurt when he’s left with a… a girl who got started all wrong, who hasn’t any of the qualities he’s sensing now. Shae will be absolutely devastated. That’s something only you can change. I hope you do, I really do. It’s easy, really. You just have to decide to open your heart.

“Meanwhile, I’m begging you to see the life that could be yours, if only you can turn away from the path you chose when you ran out. I have to think that you can hear me and sense what I’m experiencing… with Lane, and Shae, and Faith, and now Steven. He’s extremely nice, very gentle. You would like him, I know you would.

“Sydney, I can’t do this alone and make it work. I need you to try along with me. No more fighting between us. Just let’s be… partners. I can’t control when I’ll be yanked away. I think God is behind all this, but who knows? I sure don’t.

“You came to me and screamed that you wanted your life back. I think that means you can reach me when you want to, so please give me a sign that you heard me and do it as soon as you can.”

There! Now it would be up to her.