Abide with Me (8 page)

“What!!” Yancey squealed. “Girl, naw, see that’s why I don’t date men in the theater and why black men are only good for one thing,” she added.

“But Raymond wasn’t in the theater. He’s a lawyer, who just got nominated for a judgeship. And what do you mean black men are only good for one thing?”

“Wait, before I answer that … are Raymond and Jared still good friends?”

“Yep. Even though Raymond lives with his lover in Seattle, they still talk at least once a week,” Nicole said.

“And you don’t have a problem with that?”

“No, not at all. They were never that type of friends, and besides, I trust them both without reservation,” Nicole said while Yancey eyed her with a don’t-be-no-fool look. She heard a little voice inside her head say, “Damn, this is one real naïve sister. What I’m planning will be a cakewalk.”

“I’ve got a little secret. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that there are some fine, fine brothers out there. I mean just look at the men in our cast. I ain’t gonna get my heart broken, though a woman has her needs,” Yancey smiled.

“Right, but what does that have to do with black men being good for only one thing?”

Yancey explained to Nicole how her first boyfriend, Albert, had broken her heart in high school. Right after she gave her virginity to him, he left her for a white girl. But he continued to have sex with Yancey. Told her she was the best ever. Yancey thought she loved Albert and could win him back with great sex, but her plan didn’t work.

Yancey was crushed, because on their prom night, even though Yancey had a great-looking date, she ended up dumping him and
sleeping with Albert. On that night Albert had promised to dump his girlfriend and marry Yancey. Truth be told, Albert married the white girl right after their graduation.

“So every brother I meet is paying for what Albert did. I’ll give them a little action, because, and I know this is a stereotype, because most of them are great in bed. This way I can hold out on Peter—that’s my doctor friend—which makes him want me all the more. But I’ve told him, he ain’t even getting close to sniffing distance until I have a ring on my finger.”

“He doesn’t think you’re a virgin, does he?”

“No, I didn’t go that far. But I told him I’m not that experienced. And he doesn’t know about the brothers on the side.”

“Do you think that’s wise? I mean, what about these so-called brothers on the side? What happens if one of them wants to get serious with you?”

“Then it’s their fault, because I tell them right up front what my deal is. I tell them I’m into my career and I don’t have time for love. Now, if they just want a little sumthing-sumthing and I do too, then we can deal. Otherwise, it’s no play,” Yancey said.

“I hope you’re careful,” Nicole said.

“Trust me, Nicole. I’m always careful,” Yancey said with a smile and quick wink.

“I’m a little down today,” Basil said as he crossed his legs at the ankles. He was carrying a rolled-up copy of
USA Today
’s sports section, dressed casually in starched jeans and a loose-fitting long-sleeved cotton shirt, and wearing a scarlet and gray Ohio State baseball cap. The doctor noticed the black animal-skin loafers he was wearing sans socks. His face was clean-shaven and he was wearing slender gold loop earrings in both ears. He looked like a model for an all-American campaign.

“What’s bothering you?”

“I finally spoke to Yolanda,” Basil said.

“Yolanda, the young lady you were dating right before you started seeing me, right?”

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Basil smiled. The thought of Yolanda still touched a part of his heart.

“Tell me about the conversation.”

“Yolanda was always a class act, and I think she’s really trying to be my friend.”

“You have a problem with that?”

“Damn skippy,” Basil replied indignantly.

“Why?”

“She treats me like I’m not a threat to her and her so-called relationship.”

“A threat? What relationship?”

“I think she’s hanging with this guy she went to school with named Dwight. You know that there’s no way, nohow I can get next to her. Therefore, we can be friends. But it’s really not a friendship at all. It’s very businesslike. I know she cares for me, but she always says, ‘I want to be your friend and help you deal with your issues.’ ”

“Did she say what issues?”

“Didn’t have to. What else would she mean when talking about
my
issues? I know where she’s coming from.”

“You mind sharing that with me?”

“Might as well, that’s what I’m here for. It’s like, ever since she caught me in the act with that mofo Monty, Yolanda treats me like I’m some sorta gay buddy, like that doctor friend of hers. I hate it when bitches try and discount you because you hit it both ways, or they catch you in some incorrect shit.” Basil paused and pressed his lips together and then used his tongue to moisten them and continued. “To tell the truth, I don’t even know why I called her. Maybe I was just curious, ’cause she made me wait a year before we talked. I guess she had to get me out of her system. I tried to call her a couple months after we broke up, but sistah wasn’t having it. Never answered her phone, never returned my calls. One of the first things she asked me after we had gone through our ‘how you doin’ … good hearing your voice’ kinda thing was if I had met a nice man. That shit made my skin burn. I mean, I ain’t
never
talked to women about my sexuality and I’m not about to start some crazy shit like that right now. I like
to
show
a woman what I can do rather than sitting on the phone, like a couple of bitches, chitchatting about what you like to do in bed, and telling me how big a dick the niggah you hittin’ it with has.”

“Why won’t you refer to what you did with Monty as lovemaking or a sexual relationship?”

“ ’Cause it wasn’t. I was just trying to get myself out of a situation. You know with him threatening to drop my name in an interview he was doing. I didn’t want that homo talking about my bizness to anyone. All he wanted was the beef, and anytime you don’t kiss, then you sure as hell don’t call it making love. It’s just hittin’ skins.”

“So you used sex to get yourself out of the situation?”

“Always works, Doc,” Basil said confidently. “It always has.”

“Let’s get back to why you called Yolanda.”

“I wanted to see if she’d come to her senses and decided to give me another chance.”

“Why do you want another chance with Yolanda?”

“I don’t know,” Basil said quietly.

“You don’t?”

Basil was silent for a few moments, then he turned to the doctor and asked, “Could it be that I am, or was, actually in love with her?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“She touched places no one had ever come close to,” Basil said almost wistfully.

“And how do you think she did that?”

“She just … listened when I talked.”

“And no one has ever done that with you?”

“They always seemed to be looking someplace else. At me, through me, around me …” Basil’s voice trailed off as he stared blankly at the floor in front of him, as if to illustrate his point.

“No man has ever touched you emotionally the way Yolanda did?”

“Naw.”

“Not even Raymond?”

“He came close, but he blew it. When he just ignored my letter, it showed me the niggah wasn’t shit. Just like the rest of the mofos, interested in the beef.”

“It sounds like you have a difficult time loving, or accepting the fact that someone can love you for you.”

“Love is for punks, suckers, and females.”

“So you’re saying you don’t have any hope for love?”

“Love has never offered me any fuckin’ hope. I’m outta here, Doc!”

A fine mist covered downtown Seattle. There was nothing unusual about that, but Raymond was glad Trent had reminded him to wear his black trench coat for his important meeting. He removed the coat during the bumpy elevator ride and happily noticed there were no signs of the dampness outside on his navy-blue suit with thin gold stripes. His red and yellow silk tie looked brand-new. Raymond felt good as he arrived on the nineteenth floor of the Federal Building.

“I’m here to see Ms. Lisa Lanier,” Raymond said to the receptionist.

“You must be Raymond Tyler. Ms. Lanier is expecting you,” she said.

“Thank you,” Raymond smiled.

“Can I get you some coffee and maybe a muffin, after I take you into Ms. Lanier’s office?”

“Some coffee, light with cream, would be nice,” Raymond said.

Moments later Raymond was sitting in Lisa Lanier’s office. Her
office rang with clues that she wanted to be a politician herself one day. It was cluttered with photos of her smiling alongside the president, the governor, and Senator Murray. There were campaign buttons and stickers everywhere. Raymond thought Lisa aspired one day to be more than just the chief of staff to a United States senator. This was a woman with high political aspirations.

After a few pleasantries,
so nice to meet you, what part of town do you live in
, and so on, Lisa got down to business.

“I’m sure you know this confirmation process is a tough nut to crack, but don’t worry, I’ll be with you every step of the way,” she said confidently.

“Thanks, I’m ready,” Raymond said.

While sipping her herbal tea, Lisa looked over some of the information Raymond had submitted. “Give me just a minute,” she said as she spread butter on a blueberry muffin. “Are you sure coffee is all you need?”

“The coffee is just fine,” Raymond said. While Lisa was reviewing the FBI information and his financial records, Raymond studied Lisa Lanier. She had a slender face and sandy-colored hair with blond natural streaks. It was softly styled and fell right below her shoulders. When she looked up from the file, Raymond noticed her grayish-blue eyes were gentle and peaceful. After a few moments, she said in a kind voice, “Everything looks fine. This should be a piece of cake.”

“I hope you’re right. I’ve never been through anything like this,” Raymond said.

Lisa dabbed her lower lip with a Kleenex and asked, “You’re single, right?”

Raymond took a deep breath. He always hated this question. Could he consider himself single? Didn’t the people who nominated him know of his living arrangements? He could hear his mother’s voice saying, “Tell the truth, baby.”

“I’m in a committed relationship,” he said forcefully.

Lisa’s eyebrows raised ever so slightly, but before she could ask for further clarification, Raymond added, “With a man.”

Lisa took a bite of her muffin and said, “Oh.”

“That’s not going to be a problem, is it?”

“Oh no. I’m just glad you told me. We have judges on the federal bench who are gay. In fact, there is an African-American woman who’s gay, I think, somewhere in the South. But you can be sure the FBI will ask you this in the interview, so shoot straight. I mean, tell them the truth,” Lisa said as she grinned at her pun.

“No problem, I will,” Raymond said.

“But I will be honest with you. Your lifestyle will open you up for all kinds of questions. They will check your partner and close friends,” Lisa advised.

Raymond hated it when people referred to his life with Trent as a lifestyle, but he had become used to it, so he asked Lisa what type of questions.

“You know, like what do you think of the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, and more than likely the gay marriage thing.”

“Would you like to know how I might respond?” Raymond asked.

“Not right now, just think about it. We have more than enough time to cover the specifics.”

Lisa spent the next fifteen minutes explaining her duties, while Raymond was thinking how he would answer the gay marriage question. He knew very well that people felt passionately about the issue on both sides. Lisa told Raymond she would set up and videotape mock confirmation hearings. Raymond could watch his performance and make changes where needed, especially with questions about gay issues. Lisa also pointed out that he would be questioned about his feelings on affirmative action.

“I don’t see that being a problem, you’re so articulate,” Lisa said.