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Authors: E. Lynn Harris

BOOK: Abide with Me
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Dexter Paul Johnson was more Trent’s friend than he was Raymond’s. If there was a major flaw in the relationship between Raymond and Trent, this was it. Raymond didn’t always like Trent’s choice of friends, but he never made it a big issue. He placed entertaining some of Trent’s friends in the what-I-do-for-love category.

Trent was the kind of guy who would bring home a stray dog. Raymond would take the animal to a nearby shelter. He’d make sure it was the best shelter, but a shelter nonetheless.

Trent and Dexter had met while working out at the downtown Seattle Athletic Club. Trent had told Raymond how Dexter had come on to him during their initial meeting, but when Trent told him about his better half, Dexter pursued Trent’s friendship instead. Dexter had a lover, a white one, but he was anything but a snow queen. With his perfect gym-toned body, Dexter loved men of all types. He had told Trent that his lover, David, was HIV-positive and very wealthy.

When the two of them met, Dexter figured David had two years if he was lucky, but now with the new drugs, David was suddenly robust. After hiring someone to run his gallery while he was on disability, David had returned to his occupation as an art dealer and business was booming, like his T-cell count. Dexter hadn’t counted on that.

While waiting for David to kick the bucket, he had made sure his name was on the insurance policies. It was a rare event when Dexter escorted David to social events or clubs. It was a very strange relationship, and Raymond didn’t think it was good for Trent to be so close with someone who had no respect for relationships. It didn’t help when Dexter would encourage Trent to go club hopping without Raymond. Trent and Dexter both knew Trent would decline the invitation.

His betrayal of David was just one of the reasons Raymond didn’t care for Dexter. He considered him a big-time user. Although he had a degree in economics from Washington State, Dexter wasn’t working in his field. Instead he would secure clerical jobs, and count the days until he would become eligible for unemployment benefits. He’d get himself fired, then live off $300-a-week checks until they ran out, spending his free time in the gym and bars around Seattle. He didn’t have to pay rent in the three-bedroom condo he shared with David, and was still driving the BMW David had bought him as a congratulations gift the time Dexter got a management job with CoreStates Bank. The job lasted all of thirty days before he quit or was fired. Several times during his brief tenure at CoreStates, Dexter had asked
Raymond questions about suing his employer for sexual harassment, since everybody he worked for wanted to
have
him.

On this special evening, Dexter had brought his latest not-so-special piece of trade, Billy Ray, who could best be described as a wanna-be Puff Daddy, but really looked more like Huggy Bear, of the seventies television drama
Starsky and Hutch
. He had a face that was almost square, a Caesar-style haircut, and jumpy and intense brown eyes. Billy Ray had a lanky and gangling basketball player frame with unusually large arms. He was wearing tight jeans, which made him look like he was concealing a couple of plums, and a short-sleeved, pale blue work shirt that smelled of stale sweat. Raymond realized it was going to be a long evening.

“Are you mixed with sumthin’?” Billy Ray asked as he studied Raymond like a book.

“Excuse me?” Raymond asked. He looked at Billy Ray, then Dexter, and finally Trent.

“You know what I’m sayin’. Look at yourself. Mellow yellow, green eyes, and good hair. If one of yo’ folks ain’t white, then I know they came from the big house,” he said in a full-throated, masculine voice.

“Both my parents are African-American,” Raymond said sternly. He eyed Trent for a reaction, but Trent made sure there was none.

“What did you cook for dinner, Trent? Something smells good,” Dexter said, obviously trying to change the subject.

“Wait till we sit down, Dexter. I know your mother gave you a little home training,” Trent teased.

“What do you guys do for a living?” Billy Ray asked.

“Why is that important?” Raymond asked. He was praying Dexter hadn’t told Billy Ray of his occupation.

“It must be sumthin’ else. ’Cause you brothers are sho livin’ large,” Billy Ray said as he surveyed the L-shaped living room. Raymond was wondering if he should start bolting down anything of value.

“Why don’t we go into the den and get something to drink?” Trent suggested.

The four of them walked from the living area into the den. Trent immediately went to the bar and pulled out a beer. “What are you guys drinking?”

“I’ll just have some wine,” Raymond said.

“Sounds good to me,” Dexter chimed.

“You got any Courvoisier?” Billy Ray asked. Raymond started to say,
Only if you can spell it
, but resisted.

“Yeah, we do. What do you want with it?” Trent asked.

“Straight up! Ya’ll ain’t got nuthing against something straight, do ya?” he laughed.

Raymond rubbed his temple and wondered where on earth Dexter met these men. Not that he didn’t know a thing or two about trade from his days in New York. He knew guys like Billy Ray from personal experience and from Kyle, who preferred guys like Billy Ray more than someone like Dexter. Guys called them trade because they would barter their sexual prowess for money, cocktails, and drugs.

Billy Ray checked out the furnishing in the den almost as if he was casing the joint.

“Damn, that’s a big-ass TV,” he commented as his eyes came to rest on the entertainment center.

“Yeah it is,” Dexter said. “And when the fights break out on
Jerry Springer
, you feel like you’ve got a ringside seat,” he added. Raymond was getting ready to ask Dexter when was the last time he’d watched anything at his home during the day, when Trent gave him a half-pained look that said, “baby, please be nice.”

Raymond was happy when Trent announced dinner was ready. He cringed every time Trent would leave the room and Billy Ray would once again begin the questioning. The second time Trent left for the kitchen, Raymond followed. Trent was checking something in the
oven and Raymond, shaking his head and laughing, asked where Dexter had met Billy Ray.

“Dexter said he’s one of the maintenance guys at the building where he’s working,” Trent said.

“Why am I not surprised?” Raymond asked sarcastically.

“Now, baby, why you always dogging my friend?” Trent said.

“And I guess he’s supposed to be straight?” Raymond questioned.

“Well, I think he’s married, but we know what that means,” Trent said.

“Yeah, absolutely nothing,” Raymond said as he pulled Trent close and kissed him gently on the lips.

“Thanks for being so understanding. I really wanted this to be a special evening for you and me,” Trent said.

“I know. We will have plenty of time later,” Raymond hinted.

Raymond left Trent in the kitchen and returned to their guests. As soon as he entered the den, Billy Ray had a question.

“So you ever been with a woman, Raymond?”

Raymond rolled his eyes and answered in his lawyerly, almost snobbish tone, “Excuse me?”

“Why don’t we put on some music?” Dexter said as he leaped from the sofa. It was like he was running for cover.

“Women. Honeys. You know. Do you like hit some pussy every now and then?” Billy Ray asked as he pulled out a package of cigarettes from his shirt pocket. Raymond didn’t answer the question but told Billy Ray if he wanted to smoke he’d have to do it outside. Billy Ray raised his eyebrow and gazed at Raymond for a quick second and then said he could wait since dinner was being served. As they were walking toward the dining area Billy Ray spoke again, “What about the tunes?”

“I’m still looking,” Dexter said as he surveyed their CD collection.

“See if they got some Lil’ Kim or Foxy Brown,” Billy Ray suggested.

“I don’t think so,” Dexter said, almost singing his reply in a mock opera tone. Trent came to the door and announced dinner was ready.

He had prepared a meal of beef brisket, string beans with onions, and a sweet potato casserole. Billy Ray packed his plate so full of food that even Dexter looked embarrassed. Billy Ray took a piece of brisket from the platter and slurped it down before it touched the plate. Then he retrieved a couple more pieces of the thinly sliced meat without looking up. Making matters worse, when Billy Ray ate he made a loud smacking and sucking sound. When he took a brief break from his plate, he needed something else.

“Can you hook up a brother’s drank?” he asked as he lifted his glass toward Trent. “Ya know red meat makes a bro thirsty,” Billy Ray said as he stuck his fork into the beef.

“I’ll get it,” Raymond offered. He wasn’t being sociable, but had suddenly lost his appetite. It was a good thing, because by the time Billy Ray finally pulled himself away from the table, there was very little food left.

10

In a few short weeks, Yancey Braxton had become not only Nicole Springer’s devoted understudy but her shadow as well. One of the male dancers in the show commented that Yancey stuck to Nicole like lint on a cheap suit.

Whenever they took a break from rehearsals or Nicole indicated she might have a few minutes to spare while waiting for Jared to pick her up, Yancey would leap at the chance to spend time with her mentor and new friend.

Over a three-week period, Nicole had learned a lot about Yancey and often smiled to herself at their similarities. Besides the beauty pageants, they both knew that one day they would star on Broadway and move on to the big screen. They both grew up in small Southern towns, near big cities. Nicole was from Sweet Home, Arkansas, right outside of Little Rock, and it turned out that Yancey wasn’t actually from Memphis, but had grown up in Jackson, Tennessee, a town just
east of Memphis. Both women had strained relationships with their mothers, because they didn’t understand what performing meant to their daughters. And both had lost their fathers, whom they had adored from birth. Yancey told Nicole her mother had further complicated things by marrying her father’s best friend a year after her beloved father’s death.

One day, while they were sharing a large plate of shrimp fried rice in a small Chinese restaurant, Nicole asked Yancey if she had anyone special in her life. A gentle look of amusement crept over Yancey’s face as she answered very softly, “I think I’ve met the man I’m going to marry. He’s a doctor right here in Manhattan. A pediatrician.”

“You’re not going to get married right now, are you?” Nicole asked. She assumed Yancey’s career was very important to her, or so she thought.

“Oh, no, I’m not even trying to get married no time soon. But he’s the one, and I know I can string him along until I’m ready,” Yancey said confidently.

“Sounds like you got everything under control,” Nicole said.

“I think so,” Yancey replied. She paused for a moment to sip some of the tea from the tiny white cup in front of her, and then her voice turned semiserious.

“Nicole, could I tell you something and you not get upset with me?”

“Sure, why would I be upset with you?”

“Well, this doctor, my future husband, well, you know. Well, he’s white,” Yancey said with a touch of embarrassment in her voice.

“You think I would get mad at you for that?” Nicole asked.

“I didn’t know how you felt about that kind of thing.”

“Listen, love is love and I know it doesn’t have a color. In fact, I was engaged to a white man once upon a time.”

“You were? I had no idea! And here I was thinking I knew everything
there was to know about you. What happened to him? Did you meet Jared and then fall madly in love with him?”

“Actually, I did fall in love with Jared rather quickly, but I was long over Pierce. We just grew apart. I had some happy times with him, but in the end it just didn’t feel right.”

“What did Pierce do for a living?”

“Funny you should ask. He was a doctor also. Made a lot of money and became a Broadway producer almost like a hobby, because he kept his practice open. I guess he’s still doing both, although I haven’t heard his name associated with any shows.”

“See how much we have in common? But how could you leave a Broadway producer? Girl, that’s a ticket I would like to get punched.”

“It just wasn’t right,” Nicole said.

“Didn’t you tell me you met Jared through a former boyfriend?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Was it Pierce?”

“No, I met Jared through Raymond, who I dated before Pierce. Raymond and Jared are best friends. Once I got over my anger with Raymond and we became friends, then I met Jared,” Nicole explained.

“Was Raymond black?”

“Yes.”

“Then I bet I can guess why you were angry,” Yancey said.

“You think so?”

“Yes, honey, I bet he was a stone-cold dog. I bet you caught him with another woman. Am I right?”

Nicole sipped some of her tea and began to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Yancey asked.

“Well, it wasn’t another woman. Let’s just say I lost Raymond to nature,” Nicole said.

“Nature. What do you mean?”

“Raymond was gay,” Nicole said in a matter-of-fact tone. She was
surprised how easy that rolled off her tongue, but was proud also. Nicole knew that time heals all wounds and tears are temporary.

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