Abide with Me (40 page)

“You know to bring closure to this, you’ve got to confront your father, don’t you?”

“I don’t have to do nothing. I don’t have to deal with that crazy fuck, ever. I know I’ll hear from him if I stop calling or sending him checks. But I don’t give a fuck!”

“Basil, can I ask you something about your father?”

Basil narrowed his eyes and looked at the doctor with suspicion, then asked, “What?”

“Are you afraid of your father?”

Basil took another deep breath, and his gray eyes misted, but remained steady, and said, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t think I’m afraid of him. Right now I’m just scared that my whole life has been a cruel hoax. Maybe I’m not fucked up because of what my uncle did to me, but because I’m my father’s son.”

“Say it,” the doctor said firmly.

“Say what?”

“Say what your uncle did to you.”

“I don’t like thinking about it. I don’t like saying it!”

“I know this is difficult for you. But I also know, as do you, that talking about it—saying what happened to you—gives you power. Every time you say it brings you one step closer to defeating it.”

“But you know what he did. I’ve already told you.”

“So, tell me again.”

“Doc …”

“Basil. Say it.”

Basil bit down on his lips. His eyes were watery with unshed tears as he sat in silence. When he finally spoke, it was not with the voice of a confident superstar football player and sexual conqueror, but that of a frightened little boy. “My uncle molested me,” Basil said. “He fucked me.”

Delaney’s rescue mission had turned into a three-night slumber party for two old friends. Though Nicole had recovered from her minidepression and seemed to be doing fine, Delaney was glad that Jared would be back before she left to go back to San Diego.

The first two days had been rocky. Nicole had poured out her hurt. It didn’t help matters when Delaney informed her that Yancey had assumed the role of Dena Jones.

“Are you sure?” Nicole asked Delaney as they sat cross-legged on the bed in pajamas. Their sleepwear made them feel like teenagers rather than two grown ladies.

“You didn’t know? Cedric told me. I know you were in bad shape when I got here, but I told you how tight Cedric and I became when I hired him to be in a couple of videos. What kinda girl is Yancey anyway? Cedric seems to like her.”

“Oh, she’s a sweetheart. But I’m a little bit surprised they gave her the role, since she’s so young, but I guess nothing in this business
should shock me,” Nicole said. “I’m just kinda sad Yancey didn’t share her big news with me herself. But I guess she was being a friend by not rubbing her good fortune in my face.”

“Now, Nicole, you know friends are rare in this business. One of the things I always hated and loved about you is your wanting to believe in the best in people. I ain’t built that way. I’m always covering my
b-a-c-k
,” Delaney said.

There were times when Nicole appeared both pitiful and vulnerable. During those times she would rush to her bedroom or bathroom and pray, and then listen to the gospel song “Stand” once more. Delaney had alternated between comforting Nicole with hugs and chamomile tea and threatening to kick her butt if she didn’t stop feeling sorry for herself. Delaney didn’t know which tactic had done the job, but she was grateful for the guidance that led to her friend’s recovery.

On day three, Nicole was beginning to look, act, and feel like her true self again. She suggested they do a little shopping along Fifth Avenue and then spend the evening at home cooking dinner together. Delaney had suggested that they go out to Justin’s, Puffy Combs’s Chelsea restaurant, then realized that Nicole didn’t want to miss Jared’s nightly call from Atlanta.

Jared called at least twice a day, and again in the evening to whisper “Good night, and I love you” in Nicole’s ear. No talk about their argument, no mention of babies, surrogates, and adoption agencies. Jared was ecstatic about Nicole’s improvement and was looking forward to coming home soon. They both were eager to be in each other’s arms again.

“Do you two really think you can live without each other?” Delaney teased after Nicole ended a long conversation with Jared by planting a big, juicy kiss on the telephone receiver. “I mean ya’ll are acting like you just started hitting it.”

“I can’t wait to see him and make up,” Nicole said. “I love him so much and I could have lost him by being so selfish and silly.”

“Honey, you two are a mess. Still acting like school kids after all these years. I ain’t mad about it!”

“What about you? You look good. Are you still in love?”

“Oh, I’m in love double-double. I love Jody like mad, and Fletcher, your godson, is a joy. You know what I ought to do is send Fletcher here for a couple of weeks so Jody and I can take some time away. We’ll see how truly interested Mr. Jared is in being a father,” Delaney laughed as she placed a bag of popcorn in the microwave while Nicole opened a bottle of wine. Nicole had taken the goose-down pillows off her bed and the quilt off the guest room bed, and brought them into the living room, where the two women snuggled up to watch a tape of
The Preacher’s Wife
.

“You could send Fletcher up here for a whole year and I don’t think it’s going to change Jared’s mind about children. Everything is okay right now, but I know sooner or later something’s gotta give.”

“And you’ll handle it when you have to. All you got to do is put on that damn gospel song ‘Stand’ and give me a call. With the combination of you praying and me giving kick-ass advice—well, obstacles don’t stand a chance.”

“I’m going to miss your silly behind,” Nicole said, and reached over to hug her friend.

“I love you, Nicole, and I’m very proud of you. If you ever need me,” Delaney said, hugging her friend, “I’ll be there for you. Always.”

Nicole didn’t answer because her eyes were filled with tears as they embraced each other and rocked back and forth.

On the last day of Delaney’s visit to New York, she and Nicole started the day at Scissors New York, a popular salon a couple of blocks from
Nicole’s apartment. Scissors was
the
place in the theater district to have your nails ’cured, and your do done, and at the same time rub elbows with Broadway’s hot and, sometimes, not-so-hot talent.

At first Nicole protested, telling Delaney there was no way on earth they could get an appointment at such a late date.

“Do you know how popular that place is?” Nicole asked.

“I know, darling. But Anderson the owner and I go way back. We’re in like Flynn.”

Just as Nicole and Delaney were leaving for their day of beauty and lunch, the phone rang. Nicole hoped it might be Jared, so she answered the phone.

“Hello.”

“May I speak to Nicole Springer?” an unfamiliar male voice said. “This is Nicole Springer.”

“Ms. Springer. This is Dr. Rodrick Gordon. I examined you when you took ill in Grand Rapids.”

“Oh yes, Dr. Gordon. What can I do for you?”

The doctor paused and then said, “Ms. Springer, I just got your test results back and I wanted to bring something to your attention.”

Nicole raised her eyebrows and threw her left hand in the air as Delaney encouraged her to hurry up by tapping her left foot.

“Yes?” Nicole asked.

“Well, I know how young women, especially in your line of business, watch their weight, but trust me, taking laxatives is not the way.”

“What are you talking about?” Nicole quizzed.

“Ms. Springer, we found a large amount of citrate of magnesia in your system,” Dr. Gordon said firmly.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a clear laxative that has a slight lemon flavor, and I’ve known people to put it in tea and beverages.”

“I’ve never heard of it and trust me, Doctor, I would never use a laxative unless I was instructed to do so by a physician.”

“Good. Laxatives can be very dangerous if they’re abused.” He paused and then continued. “Everything else looks fine, Ms. Springer, but I just wanted to speak with you myself—just in case.”

“Thanks for calling, Dr. Gordon, but I’m fine,” Nicole assured.

When she hung up the phone, Nicole had a puzzled look on her face. She told Delaney what the doctor had said and wondered aloud if he had mixed up her results with someone else’s.

“Delaney, Grand Rapids is a small town. Anything could have happened. A lot of time they have high school kids working in labs. But I’m going to talk with my doctor here about it,” Nicole said.

“Do you think somebody put something in your drink on purpose?” Delaney asked.

“Who would do that?”

“Maybe some guy, trying to get in your pants.”

“But a laxative? I haven’t been anywhere where men would have had a chance to drop something in my drink,” Nicole said.

“What about some of the women in the cast? What about this Yancey child?”

“Oh, Yancey would never do anything like that,” Nicole said.

Delaney walked over to Nicole and took both her hands and said, “Nicole, honey, I know you want to see the good in everybody. It’s one of the things I love about you. But everyone you meet who acts like they’re your friend, ain’t your friend. Everything that glitters sure ain’t gold,” Delaney warned.

“I know that, but I’m sure there’s been a mistake. I’ll get a checkup and I’ll have my doctor re-evaluate the results, but Yancey would
never
do something like that,” Nicole said confidently.

“Never say never.”

“I know. Come on, honey. Let’s go get our ‘dos done,” Nicole joked. But as she closed the door, the memory of Yancey bringing her coffee each morning came to her. Nicole especially remembered Yancey’s always smiling face.

When they arrived at Scissors New York a little after lunch, Nicole and Delaney sat beside one another on one of the padded benches in the waiting area, across from an attractive black man who had his face buried in the current issue of
Essence
. Nicole and Delaney were flipping through an old copy of
Vibe
when they spotted an ad for men’s underwear featuring their waiting-room neighbor.

“That’s him!” Delaney whispered, pointing to the model in the ad.

“Who?” Nicole asked.

“Girl, keep your voice down. It’s him!” Delaney nudged Nicole’s shoulder with her own and nodded toward the brother on the opposite bench. Nicole looked down at the page, then at the man sitting across the room, then back at the ad showing him clad only in briefs.

“You’re right, that’s him,” Nicole whispered. “I can’t wait for Jared to get home, ’cause even though that old boy is fine, my baby would give him a run for his money.”

Delaney turned her attention to the walls of the posh salon nearly completely covered with framed photographs of Broadway stars, models, and a few nonindustry people like the first black female astronaut, Mae Jemison.

“Isn’t that the child you understudied in
Jelly’s
?” Delaney asked as she pointed to a photograph above the magazine stand.

“Yeah, that’s her,” Nicole said.

“What is she doing?”

“I heard she’s pumping out babies,” Nicole said as she picked up a
Body and Soul
magazine.