A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything (21 page)

First, she is confident because her family is well provided for (v. 21). She isn’t worried about having sufficient resources to feed and clothe those who live in her domain. We might be quick to say, “Well, it would be easy not to fear if I had lots of money like she had,” but if we land there, we miss the point, which is that wisdom is what led to the financial provision in the first place. What we see here again is an example of the principle shown throughout the book of Proverbs that wise living typically leads to the sort of blessings that prevent many of the things we often worry about.

Second, she is confident because she has a good reputation. She is known for her strength and dignity (v. 25). We see throughout the poem how her reputation blesses her. It has opened doors for business and for ministry, and it has brought her the praise of her husband and children:

The same is true in our lives. Our reputation steers our course in ways big and small. Our financial reputation, for example, is reflected in our credit score, and the better our credit score, the more options we have when it comes to making purchases or investing. Just so, our reputation for trustworthiness will largely determine the number and quality of our relationships. Our reputation for diligence opens doors in education and in business. A reputation for godliness attracts those who seek the Lord, whether for ministry, friendship, or marriage. A life lived in the fear of the Lord imparts a reputation for wisdom, and it
glorifies God.

Third, she is confident because she is not afraid of what the future might hold (v. 25). She doesn’t fret over a possible downturn in the economy, or whether her children will be successful, or whether she’ll remain healthy as she ages. She certainly does not know what the future holds—no amount of wisdom reveals that to her or to anyone. The economy might go sour, and her kids might choose foolish paths despite the wisdom imparted by their parents, and she might be stricken with serious illness. So how can she laugh at the time to come? She is unafraid because she trusts in the Lord. We know this because she is presented as the ideal of wisdom in a book that teaches that the heart of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. Ultimately, her fear of the Lord, not her material prosperity, is why she is confident.

So, as we consider our battles with anxiety from the perspective of Proverbs, is it possible that our battles are rooted in the fact that either we are choosing to live unwisely somehow or we aren’t trusting God? Actually, the two go together. We aren’t going to choose paths of wisdom if we don’t trust the One who has marked out those paths for us. Fear of the Lord is trust in
the Lord.

Primarily, the Proverbs 31 woman is confident because she fears the Lord. This is the bedrock of all her wise behaviors. She is a good wife and mother, and industrious, and financially shrewd, and kind, and well-spoken, and charitable because her entire being is oriented around the fear of the Lord. That is the only way for us too. “The fear of the L
ORD
is the beginning of wisdom” (Prov. 9:10). Even so, we will never get there on our own. We cannot get established in the fear of the Lord or grow wise apart from Christ our Savior. Elyse Fitzpatrick warns:

That’s why growing in wisdom means looking more at Christ than at the Proverbs 31 woman. We cannot be like her by ourselves. We can only do it in dependence on Christ, because he
is
our wisdom. Elyse points out beautifully how this
is so:

her rewards

What does the Proverbs 31 woman receive as a result of her wisdom? We’ll wrap up our study with a list of ten rewards:

She is the picture of wise living, but not primarily of how to be a better homemaker or businesswoman. The picture she provides is how full and rewarding a woman’s life can be if she fears
the Lord.

Note to reader: This guide can be printed out at a larger size at
crossway.org/awomanswisdom
.

You can work through this study guide on your own or as part of a small-group discussion. There is at least one question in each chapter that will require a bit more time than the other questions. These questions are marked with a special symbol:
You might also want to use the appendix as a handy way of reviewing various proverbs.

1. Read through the book of Esther and jot down where and how you see her exercising wisdom. What impact do her choices have on her relative Mordecai? What sort of impact does she have on
the king?

2. Name an area of your life (or more than one) in which you desire to grow in wisdom. Why do you think you need wisdom in this
particular area?

3. How does Proverbs define wisdom? Explain what is meant by this definition.

4. Have you ever experienced fear of God? What did you learn about him through that time? What was the outcome?

5. Which of the characteristics of wisdom listed in chapter 1 most speak to you
and why?

• Wisdom is clear
  

• Wisdom is near
  

• Wisdom is pleasant
  

• Wisdom is primary
  

• Wisdom is hospitable
  

6. Describe what it means to guard your heart (Prov. 4:23).

7. What is the link between wisdom and humility, and how do we cultivate humility?

8. What is our role in obtaining wisdom?

9. Which of the benefits of wisdom grabs you most
and why?

• Security
  

• Guidance
  

• Sanctified common sense
  

• Generally good living
  

• Happiness
  

• Self-knowledge
  

10. Describe the biblical link between Christ and wisdom.

1. What is the primary distinction between a foolish woman and a
wise one?

2. Name some ways that women today can be easily enticed by the world. What for you personally tends to be an enticement?

3. There are many proverbs that mention money or wealth (see the appendix). Why do you think that this Bible book about wisdom has this emphasis? We also find a number of passages about wealth in the New Testament that address it primarily in terms of its impact on Christian discipleship. Study the following passages and summarize what
you see:

• Matthew 6:25–34
  

• Matthew 13:18–23
  

• Luke 16:13
  

• Acts 8:9–21
  

• 1 Timothy 3:2–3
  

• 1 Timothy 6:6–10, 17–19
  

• 2 Timothy 3:1–5
  

• Hebrews 13:5–6
  

• James 5:1–6
  

4. In what ways does a foolish woman show contempt for godly knowledge?

5. How can we tell the difference between patient waiting and sinful complacency? As you ponder the difference, does it speak to your life in
some way?

6. Where in your life do you detect a need to become more like the ant of Proverbs 6:6–8? Is there a lack of zeal in your work, in your relationships, or in your walk of faith? If so, what concrete step will you take to
address it?

7. In a society that upholds autonomy as a great virtue, living in dependence on God and in transparency before your Christian community can be especially challenging. Describe the difference between godly independence and sinful autonomy. Consider Proverbs 18:1 and 1 Thessalonians 4:9–12.

8. Review Proverbs 6:16–19. From this passage make a list of things God hates so much that they are categorized as “abominations.” Then, using this list, pray the prayer found in Psalm 139:23–24 either alone or with your small group:

You also might want to see if you find yourself resonating with something on the why-oh-why and if-only list on pp 51–52.

9. In what way is overcoming our folly more a matter of rest than
of work?

10. How do the following passages showcase Jesus as our wisdom?

• Matthew 12:38–42
  

• Luke 2:40–52
  

• 1 Corinthians 1:18–31
  

• 1 Corinthians 2:1–13
  

• Colossians 2:1–3
  

• Colossians 2:20–23