A Woman of Independent Means (32 page)

I try to spend several hours a day at my father's bedside. His failing health has made me realize how much of his life is still unknown territory to which he is the only guide. He loves answering my questions, and we sometimes talk for hours before my stepmother tiptoes in to suggest a nap. While he sleeps I rummage through bureau drawers filled with unidentified photographs, and when he wakes, I am armed with new questions.

The children are happier here than they have been anywhere except Vermont. My father rents the property adjoining his house to a farmer, and both the children and I marvel at the many uses to which so few acres can be put. He keeps cows and goats, and Drew and Eleanor provide an admiring audience every day for the afternoon milking. He has a cotton field and a fruit orchard, and has promised them a job as field hands this summer. Neither of them has ever accepted an offer more eagerly.

We envy you the snow in Philadelphia—we all would have enjoyed ice skating on the lake with you. The children were surprised to learn that in some parts of the country people do more than just sing about a “one-horse open sleigh.”

I hope your holiday will be filled with all the peace and joy this season can provide. The children join me in sending you our best wishes.

Happy New Year,
Bess

December 19, 1921
Honey Grove

My dear Dwight,

Your letter was forwarded to me from Dallas. Unfortunately, I will be here for the holidays, so will miss seeing you during your brief stay.

I am delighted by your desire to spend Christmas with your son. And I can assure you of a warm reception from Arthur and Totsie, have no fear. Totsie has told me many times this fall how much it means to Little Dwight when a letter arrives from you. Did you know that ever since last summer he has insisted on being called Dwight? Anyone who forgets and refers to him as “Din-Din” risks the terrible wrath that only a three-year-old can unleash upon the world.

It occurs to me that in my absence you might enjoy the use of my house. I have a full-time housekeeper in residence, and she would be delighted to have you there. Little Dwight is a frequent visitor, always heading straight for the cookie jar, which has won him an enduring place in the heart of my housekeeper. I know he would enjoy being with you there, and a home is certainly preferable to a hotel room when it comes to celebrating Christmas. I will write my housekeeper tonight to get everything in readiness for you. Please do not disappoint us.

How marvelous that you are moving into Manhattan. If I were alone, I would not hesitate to find a small apartment in the heart of the city and pursue every event of interest to me. I never open a New York newspaper without seeing a hundred places I'd like to go. How I envy your independence—physical, emotional, and financial. I hope you are as happy as your situation allows you to be.

Affectionately,
Bess

December 19, 1921
Honey Grove

Dear Marthareen,

I hope you are enjoying a well-deserved rest in our absence. My father's condition shows no sign of improving so I cannot make any plans for returning home. However, my friend Dwight Davis, Mrs. Fineman's former husband and the legal father of her adopted son, is coming to Dallas for Christmas, and I have invited him to stay in our house. He will be spending most of his visit in the company of his son, so I hope you will do as much as possible on such short notice to give the house a holiday appearance.

I am enclosing a check to cover the household expenses his arrival will incur. Please spend part of it on a tree for the living room and a wreath for the front door. In case you have forgotten, the Christmas decorations are stored in the small attic room just opposite the stairs.

I am driving the children into East Texas this afternoon to gather pine cones and cut branches to decorate the house here, and I will send a box of greenery for you to arrange around the living room as attractively as possible. Be sure to lay a fire and light it when Mr. Davis arrives. Any free time you have should be devoted to making Christmas confections. Men of all sizes love the taste of sweets.

In addition to the household check, I am enclosing a Christmas bonus which I trust will compensate for the inconvenience of having to delay your trip to Sulphur Springs to visit your sister. I am sure she will be just as happy to see you after the holidays.

The children send you their love.

Merry Christmas,
Bess Steed

December 21, 1921
Honey Grove

Dear Lydia and Manning,

I very much appreciate your invitation to Christmas dinner, but Papa is confined to his bed and I do not want to leave him. I am filled with the fear that this is his last Christmas, and I feel I owe him my total attention.

The last time he was seriously ill, I was living in St. Louis and could not abandon my husband and children to come to Honey Grove. But now life has stripped me of conflicting responsibilities and left me free to play the role of dutiful daughter. And in a way I am grateful for the obligation. It gives me an excuse for avoiding any decisions about what I should be doing with my life. The children are very happy here, and I see no reason for returning to Dallas after the holidays. They can go to school here, and I can give Papa the time and attention I have too often denied him in the past.

I trust my friend Sam Garner will profit from my absence as much as Papa will from my presence. Now that he is legally free to form other relationships, I hope he will explore all the opportunities for friendship open to any man or woman of independent spirit and not merely seek a conventional commitment.

I have become interested in completing my unfinished college education and wonder if Manning would be kind enough to furnish me a catalogue of the courses open for enrollment next semester. I could easily drive over once or twice a week for classes. Even a limited academic career would be a welcome diversion from the restricted life I lead here, yet would not interfere with my familial obligations.

We mailed our presents for your family last week. I hope they arrive in time for Christmas. The children are so enraptured with the puppet theater they made for Marian they will be happy to come share it with her any time.

Christmas cheer to
all of you,
Bess

January 3, 1922
Honey Grove

Dear Dwight,

Christmas came late for me this year. In fact it arrived only yesterday when I opened the stack of exquisitely wrapped packages from Bonwit Teller's. I felt like Cinderella, exclaiming in wonder at the silk scarf, the kid gloves, and finally the magnificent fox fur muff. I only wish you could have witnessed my delight. No fairy godmother could have done more to make me feel like a princess. I have always felt there was an art to giving, and you have clearly mastered it.

I am so delighted my home could be the setting for your first Christmas alone with your son. What better present could you have received than the discovery that he is already an interesting person at the age of three. The happiness of your reunion does a great deal to ease the pain of my own loss.

Happy New Year,
Bess

 

FEBRUARY 1 1922
HONEY GROVE

MR AND MRS MANNING SHEPHERD
1263 UNIVERSITY AVENUE
DENTON TEXAS
PAPA DIED PEACEFULLY IN HIS SLEEP LAST NIGHT
MUST REGRETFULLY WITHDRAW FROM COLLEGE ENROLL-
MENT AT THIS TIME PLEASE REQUEST REGISTRAR TO
RETURN DEPOSIT AT EARLIEST CONVENIENCE

BESS

 

 

February 10, 1922
Honey Grove

Dear Lydia and Manning,

I cannot tell you what your presence meant to me all week. And I will miss you more than you imagine. To lose my husband, my son, and now my father in the space of three years is more than a woman should be asked to bear. I feel so completely alone. I think of the woman I was just a week ago, filled with confidence about the future, and she seems like a stranger to me.

Our parents—and the older generation they represent—provide a barrier against death, and when both of them are gone, as both of mine are now, there is nothing between us and our own mortality. Now it is my turn to stand as a shield between my children and the enemy. The cannons of death echo in my ears and I wonder how long I can stand firm without someone at my side to catch me if I stumble and start to fall.

However, for the moment I refuse to think about the future. We are welcome here, and indeed my presence is required for the legal untangling of my father's estate. Mavis has had no experience in the business world and relies heavily on my advice, which of course I am happy to give.

I deeply regret having to withdraw from your course on the Transcendentalists, Manning, but recent events have confined my attention to more mundane topics. I have decided to sell my house in Dallas and continue living here with Mavis at least until the children finish school in June. After that we will have to find a home of our own, but I do not know yet where it will be—or with whom.

My love,
Bess