A Will To Change (Hope) (41 page)

“Are you going to make me get down on one knee in front of all of these people?” She shook her head and giggled. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” She took my face in her hands and kissed me deeply.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, you ass. I will marry you!”

“That’s my girl.” I smiled as I slid the ring on her trembling finger.

She hugged me tightly and I lifted her off the ground. “I’m so happy,” she whispered.

“So am I, Gabby girl. So am I.”

“Excuse me.” I removed myself from Gabby’s embrace and turned my attention to the older man that had just approached us. “My name is Fred Carson. I’m with the New York Daily News.” He extended his hand. “I was actually here doing an article on the memorial, and I happened to notice the two of you. Did you just get engaged?”

Gabby’s grin was a mile wide. “Yup, we did!”

“Well, would you mind sharing your story with me? I mean, why did you get engaged here? Does it have some significance to the two of you? It would work really well into the article that I’m doing, ‘Finding peace years after nine-eleven’
.
”

“Well, Mr. Carson, today is your lucky day because, boy, do we have a story for you!” Gabby smiled.

I walked out of the little Italian market just up the street from Will’s apartment with a bag full of groceries in my arms and a smile on my face. I planned on cooking him a nice romantic dinner. We had been engaged for a whole week and I was still walking on a cloud. I have to admit that even
I
was a little hesitant about pulling off a wedding in three months, but I felt compelled to marry him on September 11
^th
. I wanted to be able to look back on that day and see something happy about it, instead of the despair that it would always bring to my heart. Mr. Carson had written the most beautiful article that had run in yesterday's paper. I had read it so many times that I felt like I could repeat it verbatim. Each time I thought about it, I was moved to tears. I had never been a big believer in fate, but now I felt as if I was the poster child.

I was just rounding the corner when I saw my mother standing outside of her chauffeur-driven car. My stomach dropped and I instantly felt myself floating far away from that cloud of happiness that I was just on. Her posture stiffened as I inched closer, and a nervous smile stretched across her face. “That was a lovely article in yesterday's paper. Congratulations.”

“I have nothing to say to you!” I snapped.

“Gabby, please!” 

“No! You are
not
going to do this! You are
not
going to take away my happiness!”

“That's not what I'm trying to do, Gabby.”

“Then why are you here? How did you even know where I lived?”

“Your stepfather has ways of finding things out.”

“He's not my stepfather!” I snapped. “He's
your
husband. Well, I could have saved you the trip. Hollywood hasn’t called for the movie rights but, if they do, I will make sure that the appropriate actress plays you!”

“Gabby, please stop!” she pleaded as tears rolled down her face. “You are my one and only child. I want to be part of your day.” 

I shook my head. I wasn’t going to fall into this trap again. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… It’s not gonna happen.” I turned and started walking up the stairs before turning back around and inching closer to her. “I am so happy. So ridiculously happy with my life right now. I am marrying a man that I love more than life itself. A man that makes me smile just thinking about him. A man that I would die for and I know would do the same for me. It’s the best feeling in the entire world. And I am so sorry that you never got to experience that with my father, I really am. And I am so sorry for being the reason that you were never able to find someone else to experience it with.”

She shook her head as she wiped away her tears. “That’s not true, Gabby.”

“But it’s not my fault, Mom. You
chose
to have me. You
chose
to stay with my father in a marriage that you didn’t want to be in. You
chose
to make me feel like I was nothing but a cramp in your style. For the first time in my life since Daddy passed away, I’m happy and I will not let you take that happiness from me.” I quickly walked up the steps and had my hand on the door, trying my hardest to hold back my tears. 

“I love you, Gabby, and I'm so sorry for the way I treated you and the things I've done. I don't expect you to believe me, but it's the truth. I know you’re hurting and I wish I could go back and undo every wrong, but I can't. I can only do right going forward.”

I took a deep breath. “If you want to do right, then just leave me alone. Pretend that I was never even born. That really shouldn't be too hard for you to do. After all, it's what you've wished for your whole life.”

She shook her head and began to cry even harder. I quickly walked inside and ran up the stairs to my apartment. I immediately focused on the task at hand - cooking dinner for Will. She wasn't going to do this to me. I wasn't going to feel sorry for her. I bit my lip, fighting off the tears as I prepared the chicken. I took a deep breath, trying my hardest to pull it together, when I heard the apartment door open and Will entering.

He walked into the kitchen and stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I diced the mushrooms. “What's up, Gabby girl?” he asked, lifting my hair and kissing me on the neck. 

I turned around and hugged him tightly, letting the waterfall of tears that I was holding back flow freely. “Hey, what's the matter?” he asked as he gently wiped the tears away. I told him all about my mother's visit, stopping every few seconds to catch my breath through my sobs. 

“Gabby, we don't have to do this whole wedding thing. If you just want to go away and get married, just me and you, I'm perfectly fine with that.”

“No, she's not going to do this to me, Will. I want a wedding. It’s something that I've dreamed about since I was a little girl. I'm not going to let her take that away from me.”

“Okay. I just don't want it to be hard on you.”

“I just…” I sighed deeply. “I just need to come to terms that she's not going to be part of it. I always dreamed of having my dad walking me down the aisle, my mom helping me plan every last detail. But now it’s just going to be a little different. The only thing that matters is that I’m marrying you. Everything else is insignificant.”

He kissed me on the top of my head and hugged me tightly. “I love you, Gabby, and I just don’t want to see you get upset over something that you should be happy about.”

“I’m not letting her take my happiness away. In a little less than three months, I’m going to be your wife. Nothing makes me happier than that thought. Does it make you a little nervous?” I grinned.

He shook his head and smiled. “Hell, no! I’d marry you right this second if you’d let me.”

“Well, I
would
, but I don’t think your mom and Hope would be too happy. They’re having too much fun with helping me plan this,” I giggled.

He sighed. “Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to wait.”

“I’ll be worth it. I promise.”

“There’s no doubt in my mind that you will be.” He leaned down and kissed me. Just feeling his lips on mine put all my troubles to rest. He was my life, my entire world. Our wedding day was going to be about
us
and the special love that we shared. I was going to be marrying my soul mate, my best friend, my angel, and nothing else beyond that mattered.

In exactly nine days, Gabby was going to be my wife. I didn’t think she would be able to pull it off in just three months, but she did. She wasn't stressed, and took everything in stride. The fact that she had my mother and Hope helping her helped a lot. I gave my opinion only when necessary. This was
her
day, even though she said it was
our
day. I wanted it to be all about her and everything that she had ever dreamed of. The only thing I cared about was our honeymoon to Barbados. Having Gabby all to myself for seven whole days was more important to me than what kind of food to have, what kind of flowers, or who was sitting with whom. All of that was insignificant to me. The selfish part of me wished that we could just get married while we were away, but I knew that would devastate my mother so that wasn’t an option. I could see the pain in Gabby's eyes the few times she had brought up the fact that her aunt and uncle were the only two people from her family that would be attending. I wanted to be able to take that pain away for her, but I knew that was a choice only she could make. Even through her adamant protests about not wanting her mother there, I still heard doubt in her voice. This was yet another reason why I just wanted to go away and get married, but Gabby assured me that she was okay with it.

I was just coming off a long twenty-four hour shift and couldn’t wait to get some sleep, but seeing Gabby in the bathroom with her face covered in Noxzema and her toothbrush in her mouth suddenly woke up my best friend down below. I quietly stood in the bathroom door, staring at her. “Good morning, beautiful girl,” I whispered.

I startled her as she lifted her head from the bathroom sink. “Wow, you must really be sleep deprived,” she said, splashing some water on her face. She spit out her toothpaste and threw her arms around my neck. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her into the bedroom.

“The smell of Noxzema turns me on,” I joked.

“Everything turns you on!”

“Everything about you, baby!”

“I missed you,” she whispered softly in my ear, trailing tiny kisses down my neck.

“Oh, yeah?” 

She looked over at the clock. “I have to be out the door in exactly forty-five minutes to meet your mom and Hope for my final fitting.”

“Well, then, let’s get to it!”

My smile grew wider when she began to unbutton my pants. “A little help!” she teased as she struggled with the zipper. I pulled it down with ease and she gave them an extra hard tug as they dropped to the floor. I kicked off my shoes before I stepped out of them. She kissed me hard while her fingers skimmed the elastic on my boxers, slowly reaching underneath and stroking my dick that was already so hard for her.