A Will To Change (Hope) (29 page)

“Hey, thanks!”

After I changed, we sat down on the floor in his living room and ate our bagels at the coffee table. “Thanks so much for coming with me. It’s nice to get a guy’s perspective.”

“No problem. Do you think you’re going to take it?”

I ripped off a piece of my bagel and shoved it in my mouth. “I’m not sure. I really like it, but I feel like I owe it to Will to tell him first before I make any decisions.”

He nodded in agreement. “Will… He’s really lucky to have a great friend like you.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m the lucky one. I don’t know what I would have done over these past few months if it weren’t for him. He’s a great guy.” I could feel my eyes filling up with tears.

He pushed my hair from my face and ran his thumb under my eye to catch the teardrop that was about to fall. “So why are you crying about it?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just going to miss him when I leave.”

He leaned in closer and placed his lips on mine. “Do you want me to help you take away your tears?” I sucked in my bottom lip and nodded.

We moved up to the couch and he lifted his shirt over his head. As I stared at him sitting beside me, shirtless, I couldn’t help but wonder if having a rock hard chest was a prerequisite for becoming a fireman. I traced my fingers down his neck and along his collarbone. Before I knew it, my lips were kissing him all over that perfect rock hard chest of his. I could smell the faint smell of shower gel on his skin. It wasn’t the musky scent like Will’s that I had grown so fond of. It was more of a citrus. I felt my insides coming alive as my lips grazed his warm, soft skin. He grabbed my face in his hands and thrust his tongue into my mouth. I wasn’t sure which one of us was more excited as our tongues collided. His hands moved under my shirt as he pushed me down on the couch. Reaching under my bra, he gently began caressing my nipple with his fingers.

“Oh, Gabby, I want you so bad,” he whispered in my ear. His voice was so smooth and sexy that I instantly wanted him just as much.

He lifted my shirt over my head and I let out a gentle cry when he moved his lips to my neck. We were so into each other that neither one of us heard the light knock on the door until it was too late. Brian lifted his head from my neck and my eyes moved to the doorway, finally locking with Will’s. My heart sank as I stared into those beautiful eyes that were always so big and blue. At that particular moment, the only thing I could see in them was sadness.

I felt like I had just been kicked in the balls, seeing him on top of her without her shirt on. I wasn’t sure what made me sicker…what I had just walked in on, or the fact that Gabby lied to me about where she had slept last night. She quickly sat up, pushing Peterson off her as she grabbed her shirt from the floor and threw it on.

“Uh…sorry, dude. Give me a call later,” I finally muttered.

“Will!” Gabby shouted. I completely ignored her, turning around to make my exit. I was halfway down the hallway when she finally caught up to me. She grabbed on to my arm, forcing me to turn around and look at her. “Come back,” she said.

I quickly removed my arm from her grip. “No thanks, Gabby. I don’t want front row seats to what was just going on in there.”

She shook her head as tears welled in her eyes. “Nothing happened, Will.”

“Nothing happened? Then why did you feel like you had to lie to me last night about where you were sleeping?”

“What?” Her eyes narrowed in confusion.

“Gabby, it’s fuckin’ eight o’clock in the morning. You’re wearing his clothes. Do you think I’m that fuckin’ stupid?”

“Yeah, I do because I
didn’t
spend the night here. Brian came with me early this morning to look at an apartment. My clothes got soaked in the snow, and I just threw his on while he put mine in the dryer.”

“Oh, how convenient.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t you see, Gabby, or are you really that naïve? He’s totally playing you.”

“You know what, Will? Just stop! I didn’t lie to you. I have no reason to. If I had slept here last night, I would have had no problem telling you. I have nothing to hide. And why the hell do you even care? Do I get mad at you when you have your little all-nighters?”

“Gabby, that’s different.”

“Why? Why is it different, Will?”

“Damn it, Gabby! He’s gonna fuckin’ use you and throw you away. How could you be so stupid?!”

Her eyes narrowed. “I’m not stupid! I know exactly what I’m doing so stop treating me like I’m a dumb little girl!” she shouted.

“Well, then stop fuckin’ acting like one!”

She shook her head in frustration. “You are impossible, Will, you know that? Nothing happened last night. I slept at
your
apartment by myself, just like I told you. I’m not a liar, and I don’t appreciate being called one. And, as far as what you walked in on? I’ll be honest with you. I’m not sure how far it
would
have gone if
you hadn’t walked in.” I looked away in disgust as the memory of his lips on her flashed in front of my eyes. “So you could believe what you want. I have no reason to lie or even make excuses to you. Just like you have no reason to lie or make excuses to me about the women in your life. You and I are
just friends
- remember?” Her voice cracked with emotion.

“Yeah, I remember.” I looked down at the floor, unable to stand the sadness in her eyes. “I’ll just see ya later, Gabby.”

“Will, please…” She shook her head, choking back a tear.

“It’s cool, Gabby. Really, it is.”

I could tell that I wasn’t doing a very good job convincing her…or myself, for that matter. Moving her hair from her face, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before resting my lips on her forehead. My sweet Gabby girl was in the arms of another man, and not just any man. One of my best friends! I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that
I
was the one that wanted her more than anything.
I
was the one that couldn’t stop thinking about her every single second of the day.
I
was the one that had to keep it buried deep inside because I was scared to death of what my true feelings for her would do to us.

“Will, please, talk to me.” She looked up at me with pleading eyes, waiting for me to say something. I knew that right now was my chance to tell her everything I was feeling but, instead, my stupid ass just kissed her on the cheek and walked away.

I arrived home, hoping that a long hot shower would help erase the vision of Gabby and Peterson from my head, but it didn’t. My thoughts were consumed with her. I thought that I could handle her dating Peterson, but I was finding that it was harder than I thought. I needed to suck this up. Not taking it to the next level with her was my choice so I needed to stop interfering in her life. She was right. She was a big girl. If he did anything to hurt her, I would be there to help her pick up the pieces like any good friend would do…after I kicked the shit out of him.

I stepped out of the bathroom and jumped when I saw Gabby standing in my bedroom doorway. She must have come back when I was in the shower. “You know what I just realized?” She smiled as if nothing happened between the two of us just a short time ago.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Today is Valentine’s Day.” I nodded. “So who’s the lucky girl?” I shook my head in confusion. “The lucky girl that gets to spend Valentine’s Day with you.”

“Oh, no one. I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s a made up holiday.”

She placed her hand on her hip and shook her head. “Well, this girl does, and since I don’t have a valentine to spend it with, I’m going to spend it with my friend, if he wants to.”

“Oh yeah, and who would that friend be?” I asked.

“My one and only true friend in this whole wide world. The one that always has my back and would do anything for me, and vice versa. Oh, and just in case you haven’t realized who I’m talking about - it’s you, genius.”

I couldn’t hold back my smile. I didn’t know what I did to deserve this girl in my life, but she was here and I would do everything in my power to make damn sure that she stayed here forever.

After spending the entire afternoon walking around the city, Will and I finally found a restaurant that wasn’t super packed for dinner. We walked inside and were drowning in a sea of tacky red and pink hearts. Dean Martin’s
That’s Amore
was blasting through the speakers. I couldn’t help but notice that every single table was for two only. “Well, I guess you’re screwed if you’re into the ménage à trois thing,” I whispered to Will as the hostess led us to our table.  We took our seats and I looked over the special Valentine’s Day menu, which I guessed were items from their regular menu with clever little Valentine names. Cupid’s Crab Cakes and Lover’s Lamb Chops were just a few. And I was fairly certain that those cute little names jacked the prices up five to ten dollars more.

Will and I were having such a great time that I didn’t want to bring up anything from this morning, but I knew that I had to tell him about the apartment I had gone to look at. I waited until after the waiter brought our drinks, knowing that we wouldn’t have any more interruptions for a while.