A Tragic Wreck (27 page)

“Do you think he may be holding something back because he never knows the next time that you'll want to run away? He wants to share things with you and get close to you. He wants to know you. He wants to show you how much he cares about you. If you keep pushing him away, one of these times may be the last time and he might just walk away for good, like he almost did last time.”

Olivia turned her head, not wanting to hear the words coming out of her mouth, the memory of Alexander almost marrying another woman still painful. The doctor got up from her chair and sat next to Olivia on the couch. “If you keep pushing people away, you will end up alone. That’s not much of a life, if you ask me. Just remember how you felt all those months when you left Alexander. Don’t forget that pain, Olivia. Carry that with you as a constant reminder so you don’t do that again.”

Tears started to form in Olivia’s eyes. She fought to contain them as the doctor handed her the tissue box. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She tried to inch away from Dr. Greenstein.

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?” She got up from the couch and returned to her chair.

“Alexander asked me to the annual charity auction this weekend.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t given him my answer yet.” The doctor started to scratch away at her notepad. “What are you writing?”

“It’s nothing important, but if you want to know…here.” She handed Olivia the notepad. The only things written down were her name, the date, and charity auction. “Happy now?”

“Yes, thank you.” Olivia smiled, handing the paper back. “But if you need to write that I’m a crazy bitch, feel free to do so because I already know that I am.” She laughed, hoping to break the tension that slowly filled the room.

“I don’t like the word ‘crazy’. Why do we go through this every time? Stop deflecting. You know that’s not healthy. Now, getting back to the charity auction. Let’s work through this. I think this is a big step, but one you should take. What are you worried about?”

“Well, I’m worried that it’ll be more than I can handle, ya’ know? I’m worried about not fitting into his world. His mom will be there and I’m worried about meeting her.”

“And is he close to his family?”

“I think so. I mean, he speaks well of everyone, but I don’t think he’s ever forgiven his dad. When Alexander was in high school, his dad was never around. He was always working. And every summer, he would go away the entire three months, missing Alexander’s birthday, to work some protection detail. Apparently, they got into a pretty big fight the night before Alexander left for SEAL training. That was the last time he had seen or really spoken to his father before he died several years later.”

“Do you think he’s still mad at his father, or is he mad at himself?”

“I’m not sure. Why don’t you ask him?” Olivia was getting snarky. That always happened the longer the session went.

“I’m not interested in his opinion. I’m interested in yours.”

“Well, I think it might be a little of both.”

“How did his father die?” she asked, her interest piqued.

“He was on a protection detail. High security. He was protecting the identity of someone. Alexander is unclear of many of the details but, somehow, someone found out that Alexander’s dad was protecting this person’s identity and location. These people tried to get the information out of him, he refused and, after torturing him for days, they killed him. Alexander said his body was worse than anything he had ever seen, even in Afghanistan when he was deployed with the SEALs. And it’s like his father knew something was going to happen because he wrote Alexander a letter days before his abduction and death. He still hasn’t opened it.”

“Hmmm.” The doctor appeared deep in thought. “What do you think is in the letter?”

“I don’t know, but it sits in the top drawer of his desk in his office at home. He says he looks at the envelope every day and thinks about opening it, but doesn’t.”

“It sounds like you both tend to ignore things so you don’t have to confront them. If you really want this relationship to work, I need you to start to confront some of your fears. Maybe this will help him, as well.”

“I’ll try. I really will.”

“And you’ll start by agreeing to go to the charity auction.” She winked at Olivia.

“Dr. Greenstein, your twelve o’clock is here,” Olivia heard Kathy, the receptionist, say over the office intercom. That was usually her nice way of saying that the hour was up. “Well, I guess that’s my cue.” Olivia got up from the couch and grabbed her purse.

“I’ll see you Tuesday, right?” Dr. Greenstein got up from her chair and started walking to the door.

“Yes. I’ll be here.”

“Okay. I want to pick up where we left off.” She opened the door. “And I want you to work on being selfless. Stop this self-preservation bullshit and start thinking about what losing you would do to other people, instead of the other way around.” With that, the doctor closed the door to her office, leaving Olivia totally speechless. She had never really been so blunt with her before.

O
LIVIA
LEFT
THE
DOCTOR
’
S
office, surprised that Agent Thompson, her escort, wasn’t sitting in the reception area waiting for her. Instead of milling about, hoping that he would eventually return, she decided to walk back to her house. She didn’t live far so it wasn’t that big a deal.

As she walked out of the Prudential Center onto Boylston Street, she noticed that the snow had begun to fall at a more rapid pace, starting to blanket the city in a coat of white. Olivia inhaled deeply as she looked up at the gray sky, loving the smell of the city during a snowfall.

On her way home, she started to think about what Dr. Greenstein had said. She remembered the pain that she felt those few months when she pushed Alexander and everyone else away. It was the worst thing she had ever experienced in her life, and maybe remembering that pain once in a while would help her.

Olivia reached her house but, instead of turning to go in, she kept walking. It didn’t bother her that there was already about an inch of snow on the ground. She knew Alexander would be furious if he found out she was roaming the streets of Boston without her assigned cavalry, but she didn’t care. She needed to think.

As she walked down Commonwealth Avenue toward Boston Common, she thought about everything. About her parents. About her Uncle Charles. About meeting Kiera for the first time and her dragging Olivia out, helping her get a fake ID. About the first time she met Mo and started to sing with the band. About the feeling of total contentment she still felt every time she got on stage. But mostly, Olivia thought about Alexander.

She thought about how perfect it felt every time he held her in his arms. She thought about the feel of his lips on her mouth. She thought about all the sweet things he whispered to her when she fell asleep next to him. He would comfort her when she woke screaming and covered in sweat from yet another nightmare. He always made sure she was safe, calling several times a day to ensure everything was okay. He would send her flowers for no reason at all. He would show up at her office with lunch on days that he knew she barely had time to breathe. He would come to listen to the band perform at MacFadden’s. He even came to their practices when he could, as well as nights that she performed at Open Mic.

Olivia immediately sank onto the first stoop that she came across. She realized how much Alexander truly did care for her. She had been trying to ignore it for the past month, but the feelings were all too obvious. Dr. Greenstein was right.
Fuck.
She hated when that happened. Maybe it was finally time to let love in.

As she sat there thinking about whether she could fully open her heart to Alexander, Olivia felt chills run up and down her entire body. She quickly snapped out of her daze when the familiar feeling of someone watching and following her swept through her entire being. Looking down the street the way she had come, she saw just two sets of prints in the snow on an ordinarily busy street. Olivia thought it was odd that there was no one else around. Looking closer, she noticed one set of footprints disappear down a side alley just two houses from where she sat in front of a brownstone several blocks north of her Commonwealth Avenue home.
Maybe I’m losing my mind
, she thought.
Who could possibly be following me?
She got chills again so, raising herself off the stoop, she continued down the street in the same direction that she had been heading, a little more conscious of her surroundings, but still not wanting to return home.

Olivia started to head toward the theater district, not really having a destination in mind. As she walked and thought more and more about Alexander, she decided that she wanted to see him. She set out for his penthouse on Atlantic Avenue, knowing that he had flown back earlier that morning from a training exercise.

She continued to walk the two miles there, taking mostly side streets and shortcuts. The snow came down faster and faster, but she didn’t care. Then she felt the chills again. She glanced over her shoulder to see if anyone was following her, observing a man wearing all black trailing a few lengths behind. The snow obscured his face, making it difficult to see any details, but something about him reminded her of that night months ago at 28 Degrees with Kiera.

Olivia quickly turned down another side street, taking a detour, as she looked over her shoulder again, her heart beating frantically. The mystery man followed, maintaining a discreet distance behind her. She took another turn and he followed. She started to get nervous and began walking faster. The man followed suit. Olivia became conscious of the fact that he was clearly following her. She always thought Alexander was just being paranoid where her safety was concerned but now she realized that maybe it wasn’t paranoia. She grabbed her cell phone and called Alexander. His voicemail picked up.
Where the fuck is he?

“Hi. It’s me,” Olivia spoke into her phone, her voice shaking. “I’m heading to your place. I think there’s someone following me.” She hung up and, with nervous hands, attempted to put the cell phone back in her purse but dropped it in a snowdrift. As she stopped to bend down and pick it off the ground, the man pursuing her sped up. Fight or flight kicked in and she started to run, leaving her phone in the snow. Her mind raced about who that man could be and what he could possibly want from her. She finally turned on Atlantic and was about a half-mile from Alexander’s building, glancing behind her to see the strange man running after her. Nerves wracked her entire body.
Why the hell is this guy after me?

Olivia sprinted toward Alexander’s building, turning around every so often to see the strange man following closely behind. He began to gain ground when Olivia’s legs became sore from the boots she wore. She started to panic, desperately hoping she would be able to outrun whoever was behind her. The snow fell at a rapid pace, and there wasn’t anyone on the streets of Boston except for a lone individual across the street, sitting on a bench. Olivia had forgotten about the Nor’easter that was predicted to bring over a foot of snow during the day.

She finally reached Alexander’s building and fumbled for the door just as it was opening. She slammed right into Alexander’s muscular chest, frantically grabbing onto him as if her entire life depended on it because, at that moment, it did.

“Hey, hey. Slow down.” He put his arms around her. “Are you okay? I got your message. I was on the other line. What is going on?” he asked, scanning the streets with a concerned look on his face.

Olivia’s entire body shook from a combination of the cold, her wet clothes, and pure adrenaline. “I thought I was crazy. I left my shrink appointment and wanted to go for a walk. Then I realized that I’ve really been a selfish bitch and my relationship with you scares me to death, and then someone started following me all the way from Comm. Ave. to the North End, and then I called you, but I dropped my cell phone in the snow bank and when I bent to pick it up, he started to rush toward me so I left it in the snow and ran into you.” Olivia took a deep breath.

“Where the fuck was your escort, Olivia?!” he yelled as he led her toward the elevator and punched the code for the penthouse, taking out his anger and frustration on the keypad. “What the fuck were you thinking?! I told you to never go anywhere without someone! Did you think I was joking?!” Alexander was furious.

Olivia stared at him and immediately broke down crying. “I know! I’m sorry, Alex! Okay?!” she screamed out. “You’ve made your fucking point!” She glared at him as tears fell down her face, willing him to say something.

His face softened immediately when he saw the frightened look on her face. “It’s okay. You’re safe now.” He held her close, lowering his voice. “Jesus, you’re shivering. Your clothes are soaked through. How long were you out in that weather?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “A few hours.”

Alexander’s face flamed red in complete frustration.

~~~~~~~~~~

Nathan Roberts had finally found her. He hadn’t seen the girl for over twenty-one years, and he had spent the last several years looking for her. Thomas Burnham kept everything hidden and covered up. So much so that when he died, he had no way of finding her. It had been years since that day all those years ago when his entire world fell apart around him.

It wasn’t too hard to find out where she lived. However, he was rather thankful that, at the moment, she had round-the-clock security detail. She seemed to spend quite a bit of time at Alexander Burnham’s house. He thought that if anyone would make sure Olivia was safe, it was Alexander. He reminded him so much of his father.

He sat in his rental car outside of Olivia’s house, waiting for her to come home from her appointment. He had been watching her the past several weeks and had become quite familiar with her schedule. It was Thursday so she was at her therapist appointment. Nathan wondered whether his actions may have been the cause of her need for therapy.