A Time to Love (40 page)

Linda made her way to a chair on the porch, sat down, and wept. There was no question that Janet had died without Christ.

As she thought of her sister, her mind went to Lewis. Would knowledge of Janet’s death cause Lewis to be drawn even more to Billy? If so, he might decide to take the boy with him when he left Stockton. She asked for the Lord’s will to be done, then put her attention on Billy, who was now at the porch steps and starting to climb.

Blake stood in the kitchen that evening and read the letter. “Well, she’s beyond our prayers now,” he said, shaking his head.

“Janet had every chance to be saved, darling,” Linda said. “She stubbornly chose to go the wrong way.”

“Mm-hmmm. Like a multitude of other people in this world.”

“What I fear now is that when we tell Lewis Janet is dead, he’ll want all the more to take Billy with him.”

Blake nodded. “Could be. But Janet was his wife, Linda. He has a right to know. It would be wrong to withhold it from him.”

Linda closed her eyes and sighed. “You’re right. We have to tell him. But let’s pray hard about it before we do.”

At bedtime—after little Billy was fast asleep—Blake and Linda knelt beside their bed.

“You go first, honey,” he said.

With their arms about each other, they bowed their heads.

“Dear Lord,” Linda prayed, “You have been pressing 1 Peter 5:7 to my heart ever since that letter came this morning. ‘Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.’ Blake and I know You care for us, Lord Jesus. You went to the cross for us. You suffered, bled, and died for us. You allowed both of us to hear Your gospel, and because we believed and obeyed Your gospel, we’re saved. Such love is beyond our understanding, but we praise You for it. Help us both to cast all our care upon You in this trial through which we’re passing.

“Help us not to stand in the way of Your working it out for our good and for Your glory. Please do what is best for little Billy, who has come to mean so much to both of us.”

At this point, Linda was weeping so hard she couldn’t continue.
Blake hugged her close to his side and took up the prayer. As with Linda, he asked for God’s will to be done and for God to get the glory in whatever way He saw fit to handle the delicate situation concerning Billy and his real father.

When Blake said amen, he turned to Linda and saw a smile of perfect peace beaming from her face.

“Blake, darling,” she said, “it’s in God’s capable hands. May His will be done.”

The next day was Saturday. Blake was at the hayloft, forking hay into the feed trough for the horses, when he heard the animals nicker. He looked down to see Lewis come through the barn door.

Blake paused with the pitchfork in hand and looked over the edge of the loft.

“Hi, Blake,” said Lewis. “The ol’ pest is back.”

“You’re not a pest,” Blake said amiably

“I saw the barn door open and figured you’d be out here.”

“I’ll be done in just a minute, Lewis.”

“Okay. I’ll wait.”

While Blake finished forking the hay down, Lewis said, “Billy all right?”

“Just fine.”

Blake didn’t know if Lewis had come to a decision about Billy, but one thing he was sure of, the news of Janet’s death was going to hit him hard.

Moments later, the two men headed for the house.

“We got a letter from Linda’s folks yesterday,” Blake said.

“Everything all right back there?”

“Well … yes. Both of them are fine.”

“I don’t suppose they’ve heard from Janet.”

“They didn’t hear from Janet, but they did get word about her.”

“Oh? What was that?”

“Linda’s planning on letting you read the letter. She’s doing some housecleaning upstairs. Let’s go find her.”

When they topped the stairs, Blake called out, “Sweetheart, Lewis is here! Where are you?”

“In Billy’s room!” came her reply.

Before they reached the door to Billy’s room, Linda stepped into the hall and headed for the master bedroom. “Hello, Lewis,” she said. “I have something to show you.”

“The letter from your folks?” he asked. “Or something in addition to that?”

Linda stopped abruptly and looked at Blake with wide eyes.

“I only mentioned the letter, honey. I thought it best that he read it for himself.”

“Oh. All right,” she said. “Blake, would you bring Billy, please? I think it would be best if we sit down in the parlor. I’ll get the letter and meet you down there in a couple of minutes.” She then disappeared into the master bedroom.

The men had just reached the parlor when they heard Linda’s footsteps on the stairs. When she entered the room, Billy was in Lewis’s arms. She handed the letter to Lewis and said, “I’ll take Billy. It’s best that you sit down.”

Lewis gave her a quizzical look. To Blake he said, “Is this some kind of bad news?”

“I’m afraid so. Please sit down.”

When Lewis was seated in an overstuffed chair facing the couch, Blake took his place beside Linda and Billy.

The Barretts watched with heavy hearts as Lewis removed the letter from the envelope. He glanced at them apprehensively, then began reading. All of a sudden his features turned white, then took on the hue of old stone. “Oh, no!” he cried. “She’s dead! My Janet’s dead!”

He bent over and buried his face in his hands and mumbled some words Blake and Linda couldn’t understand, but they were able to distinguish the grief he felt.

Billy stared at his Uncle Lewis, wondering what was wrong with him.

Blake’s firm hand was on Lewis’s shoulder when Lewis brought his emotions under control. Sniffing, he looked up and said, “Thank you
for the strength of that hand, Blake. Thank you.”

“Nothing else I could do for you, my friend. Linda and I have prayed for you, I guarantee you that.”

“I’m sure you have. And I appreciate your concern.” Then to Linda he said, “You’ve got to be hurting, too. She was your sister, and I know that in spite of all she did, you still loved her.”

Linda nodded. “I was deeply hurt when the two of you ran off together, and I was very bitter toward both of you. I tried to hate you, but I couldn’t. I never stopped loving Janet. And the thing that hurts the most is that she won’t be in heaven. I’ll never see her again.”

Lewis sighed and put the letter back in the envelope, then stood up. Laying the envelope on the coffee table, he said, “I’d better be going. I’ve got a lot to think about.”

“Will you be going back east, Lewis?” Linda asked.

“Probably … that’s home. I’ve got to consider Billy in all of this.”

Linda’s pulse quickened, but she immediately told herself to calm down. She and Blake had placed Billy in God’s hands, and she must leave him there.

During the next few days, Lewis went through his own private agony as he diligently sought God’s will concerning Billy. He went by the Barrett home every evening to see Billy and spend time with him.

With each visit, tension mounted for Blake and Linda. Every night they prayed hard, asking God to do what was right for Billy, even if it meant giving him up. If the Lord would choose to let Lewis take Billy with him, they knew they would need the comfort and strength of the Holy Spirit in great measure.

Lewis’s emotions were up and down as he prayed about Billy. Sometimes he became so upset that he actually felt ill.

By Friday night, after wrestling with the matter all week, he fell on his knees beside his bed. After some two hours of soul-searching prayer, he had the answer.

He rose to his feet and said, “All right, Lord. I’ve come to love little
Billy so very much in these past weeks. It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but he’s my son, and what’s best for him must come first. I’ll do what You’ve told me to do.”

T
HE NEXT DAY, A
S
ATURDAY,
Lewis Carter arrived at the Barrett house midmorning. When he came into the house, Blake and Linda could tell he was under a great deal of emotional strain.

Lewis asked if he could play with Billy on the lawn for a while, and the Barretts sat on the front porch, watching the two of them together.

When Lewis first started romping on the grass with his little son, he felt his resolve weakening. “Help me, Lord,” he prayed in his heart. “I can do all things through You. This is the toughest chore I’ve ever faced in my life. This precious child is my own flesh and blood, but I know I can’t give him the home and family the Barretts can. Lord, You helped me make this most difficult decision … please give me the grace and strength to see it through.”

As Blake and Linda watched Lewis, Linda said, “Blake, do you suppose he’s made up his mind?”

“I don’t know, honey, but he looks like he hasn’t slept too well.”

They had to smile when they saw Lewis down on all fours playing horsey, with Billy on his back giggling and squealing for joy.

After about an hour of romping with his two-year-old son, Lewis carried him up to the porch, puffing from exertion, and said, “Whew! This little bronco rider will wear a fella out in a hurry!”

Linda had brought some lemonade from the kitchen, and she handed Lewis a cool glass and said, “Maybe this will help.”

He put Billy down and drank the lemonade in a few gulps.

Linda sat down and pulled Billy onto her lap.

While Billy drank lemonade from a small glass, Lewis said, “I’ve come to a decision.”

He sat down in his usual front porch chair, facing them. “I’ve been thinking and praying a lot about Billy and what’s best for him.”

“We have too,” said Blake.

Lewis ran his gaze between Linda and Blake, cleared his throat gently, and said, “What I’ve decided is that you dear people should keep Billy and raise him as your own son.”

Linda felt a hot lump rise in her throat, and tears flooded her eyes.

Blake could hardly believe his ears. Fighting his own tears he said, “If you’re really sure.

“Positive,” Lewis cut in. “I could never give the boy the kind of home or the kind of life you and Linda have given him. You’ll want to adopt him, won’t you?”

“Why, yes, of course,” said Blake, blinking against the tears that had gathered in his eyes.

“I knew you would, so I went by Judge Leonard Holman’s house before coming here. I delivered some lumber to his house a couple of weeks ago and got to know him a little bit. I gave him the information he needed to have the adoption papers drawn up on Monday.

“I’m booked on the Sacramento stage Tuesday morning, which leaves at ten o’clock. Our appointment is set with Judge Holman an hour ahead of my departure. I’ll sign Billy over to you, so you can adopt him legally. It’ll all be done right there in the judge’s chambers in the courthouse.”

Linda’s lips quivered as she said, “Oh, Lewis, thank you!”

“Yes, thank you!” Blake said. “You’ve made us the happiest people in the whole world!”

Weeping freely, Lewis said, “I’m thanking you. I can leave Stockton with peace in my heart, knowing that my son will have the best home and family possible. This is God’s will for Billy.”

Blake stood up and wiped tears from his cheeks, then stepped toward Lewis and wrapped his arms around him, trying to express his gratitude.

Lewis pounded him on the back and told him it was the hardest decision he’d ever had to make, but the Lord had given him the grace and strength to do what was right.

Linda placed Billy on Blake’s chair, and when the two men let go of each other, she embraced Lewis and said, “I’m so glad you got saved, Lewis. And I’m so glad you were willing to listen to the Lord about Billy. Be assured, we will raise him according to the Word of God.”

All the weeping had little Billy puzzled. As he sat in Blake’s chair, he looked from one weeping adult to the other and screwed up his face to cry, although he wasn’t sure why.

Immediately Linda picked him up and broke the tension. All three adults spoke to Billy, assuring him everything was all right. Then Linda pointed to some toys on the porch and told him to go play with them. When he was fully occupied, she turned back to the men, who were discussing the particulars of the adoption.

Lewis explained what the judge had told him. All it entailed was the signing of papers. The whole thing wouldn’t take more than a few minutes.

When they all sat down again, Lewis said, “Would it be all right if I write from time to time to see how Billy is doing?”

“Of course,” Blake said. “We’ll want to know how things are going for you, too. And we’ll write you back each time.”

“And Lewis,” Linda said, “any time you can make a trip to California, you’re welcome to come by and see Billy.”

Lewis grinned. “I’ll do it. He can just always know me as Uncle Lewis, okay?”

“Uncle Lewis it is,” she said, smiling.

“We wouldn’t have it any other way,” Blake assured him.

Monday night had been a restless one for all three adults, and when they met at the courthouse under a flawless blue sky on Tuesday morning, they all looked a little tired.

Blake was carrying Billy. When he placed the child into Lewis’s arms, he said, “Having any doubts?”

“None,” Lewis replied. “I assure you, I haven’t changed my mind. In
fact, I feel more certain than ever about my decision. I have the peace of God in my heart.”

Lewis Carter and the Barretts met with Judge Leonard Holman in his chambers. Lewis signed the necessary document to release William Nolan Carter so that Blake and Linda could legally adopt him. Within a few minutes the transaction was done, and Billy’s legal name became William Nolan Barrett.

When they walked out of the courthouse, Lewis was carrying Billy. The sun was smiling in the vast blue sky, and the Barretts were thanking God in their hearts.

They strolled along the wide, dusty street toward the Wells Fargo office.

The stage was in and was being loaded when they drew up beside it on the boardwalk. Lewis had left his luggage there earlier, and it was already in the rack on top.

“So, Lewis,” Blake said, “are you going back to New York or to Boston?”

“New York. That’s been home for a while. I’m sure I can get my old job back on the docks. And I love the church in Manhattan. I’ll get busy serving the Lord there.”