A Time to Love (34 page)

Both of the family buggies stood side by side next to the corral, and the bay mares were inside the barn, munching hay Blake had just
pitched into the feed trough from the hayloft.

He moved across the porch and opened the door to the kitchen to find Linda sobbing at the kitchen table, her head down, resting on her arms.

“Sweetheart, what’s the matter? What are you crying about?”

Linda shoved back her chair and ran to Blake, clinging to him as he folded her in his embrace.

“I went to Dr. Martin today … I thought I was pregnant. I was so excited! I wanted to come home and tell you that we were going to have a baby. Why can’t I conceive?”

Blake held her close and stroked her shiny auburn hair. “Linda, darlin’, I don’t know why. Did Dr. Martin say anything about it?”

“Yes. He said he would have to examine me, and if he doesn’t find anything obvious, he would have to do some tests. He said it might be something to do with either one of us.”

“Well, then, we’ll go to his office tomorrow and find out if there’s a problem. It’s time you were having a little girl who looks just like you!”

She worked up a smile, and said, “How about a little boy who looks like you?”

Blake held her tighter. “Either way would be all right with me, darlin’. But Linda …”

“Yes?”

“If we learn we can’t have children, let’s look into adoption.” “Oh, Blake, I’m glad you feel the same as I do about having children in our home.”

“I love children, honey,” he said with a chuckle. “I used to go to school with them!”

Linda laughed outright.

“Sweetheart, I’m so glad I married you,” Blake said, kissing the tip of her nose.

“You didn’t marry me,” she said with a giggle. “I married you!”

“Oh, you did, eh?”

“Mm-hmm. When you came through that door into the conference room at the prison, I said to myself, ’That’s for me.’ From that moment
on you didn’t have a chance. When we went before the preacher, I married you!”

This time he kissed her soundly.

The next day, Linda and Blake visited Dr. Martin. He examined them separately and did some tests, explaining that he would not be able to give a conclusive answer until he studied the test results, which he would have in a couple of days.

Two days later the couple returned to Dr. Martin’s office and were escorted by his nurse to a small conference room adjacent to the waiting area.

Less than a minute had passed when Dr. Martin entered, carrying a folder in his hand, and sat down facing them. “I wish I could tell you everything was all right, folks,” he said.

Blake took Linda’s hand as the doctor’s dreadful words told of Linda’s inability to conceive. He explained that nothing could be done. She would never be able to bear children.

Linda fought to hold back the tears but finally gave in. When Blake put his arms around her, she pressed her face to his shoulder and sobbed.

Dr. Martin rose to his feet. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” he said.

Blake silently prayed as he held Linda.

After a few minutes, she gained control and took some deep, shuddering breaths before saying, “Darling, Romans 8:28 still applies. The Lord has His mighty hand on our lives as much now as He did when you were in prison and I was married to Haman Warner. It’s hard to accept that I can never give you children, but if we can look into adoption, it would help me a great deal. It … it won’t bother you that I can’t bear children?”

“Of course not. I love you with all my heart, Linda. Nothing could ever change that. And for that matter, the problem could have been with me. Would it have bothered you if that was the case?”

“Absolutely not! The most important thing is that I have you as my
life’s mate. I love you more than words could ever express. You’re the very essence of my life, and nothing could ever change that.”

Her face was shiny with tears as she looked into his eyes.

“Well, then,” he said, wiping the tears from her face, “we’ll just go on loving each other and see about adoption.”

Linda caressed his cheek and said, “With the Lord’s help and yours, I’ll be able to live with the fact that I can’t give you our own natural children.”

Blake pulled a clean handkerchief from his pocket and tenderly blotted the rest of her tears.

When he finished, Linda looked up at this man she loved so dearly and whispered, “God in His infinite wisdom has allowed this for a reason.

There was a tap on the door. “Okay if I come back in?” asked Dr. Martin.

As he sat down to face them, Martin said, “Sometimes my job isn’t so pleasant—like having to give you the bad news a little while ago.”

“That can’t be an easy task, Doctor,” said Linda. “I don’t envy you.”

“Dr. Martin,” Blake said, “we’d like you to tell us about adoption procedures.”

“All right. Basically, I just keep a list of people who want to adopt a baby. When a baby comes available, I notify people in the order in which they are listed. Sometimes a couple will specify a boy or a girl, and often they’ll put a limit on how old a baby is.

“I learn of babies in need of adoption in many different ways. As far as older children—let’s say three and above—I keep no list. To adopt an older child, you simply have to hear of parents who have died, leaving orphans behind, or of some other situation where a child has no home.”

“Well, put us on your list,” said Blake. “And we don’t care whether it’s a boy or a girl.”

“And we’ll take any age on your list,” Linda said.

“Fine—your name will go on the list today. I’d also suggest you contact doctors in towns all over this area to get on their lists, too. That will raise your chances of adopting a baby as soon as possible.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” said Blake as he rose from the settee.

Blake and Linda paused in the outer office long enough to pay for the doctor’s services, then climbed in the buggy and headed home.

As they drove along Stockton’s streets, Blake said, “We’ll make the rounds of the doctors in a twenty-mile radius on the next few Saturdays, honey. In the meantime, we’ll keep our eyes open in case an older child becomes available and pray earnestly that the Lord will give us the child He wants us to have.”

“All right, darling,” Linda said, gripping his arm. “I just know that somewhere there’s a precious little boy or girl for us to love and care for. God will show us in His perfect time.”

“That’s right, sweetheart. God’s Word says, ‘Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.’”

“That’s one of my favorite Scriptures, Blake, and my experience has proven it to be true time and again.”

Both were quiet for the rest of the way home. When they arrived, they worked in companionable silence to put away the horse and buggy, then went to the house. As they stepped inside, they surprised each other by simultaneously saying, “‘Trust in the L
ORD
with all thine heart; and lean not—’”

They broke off speaking, then finished in unison: “‘… unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.’”

Blake and Linda laughed as they embraced and kissed. Then Blake said, “Let’s pray about it right now.”

They went to the parlor and got down on their knees in front of the couch and gave their burden to their precious heavenly Father.

Blake prayed first, then Linda. When they were finished, they lifted tear-stained faces and looked deeply into one another’s eyes, seeing and feeling the peace only God can give.

One morning about a week later, Linda kissed Blake and sent him off to work as usual. She cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast and washed the
kitchen windows inside and out. This was housecleaning day.

True to February weather in northern California, the temperature stayed cool, but the sun shone through the sparkling windows Linda had just washed.

A white apron covered her blue cotton dress, and she wore a flowered kerchief over her sun-streaked auburn hair. She had just finished mopping the kitchen floor when she thought she heard a knock at the front door.

As she stepped into the hall, the rather timid knock was repeated.

Linda whipped the kerchief from her head and glanced in the hall mirror, patting down some stray locks. As she hurried toward the door, she smoothed the front of her apron. She pressed a smile on her lips for the unknown visitor and swung open the door.

Her smile immediately drained away. She closed her eyes and opened them again to see if she were imagining the person standing before her. Finally, she said in a shaky voice, “H-Hello, Janet.”

Linda’s older sister dipped her head, not quite meeting Linda’s gaze, and said in a low tone, “Hello, Linda. I … I’m sure you’re surprised to see me. If you don’t want to talk to me, I completely understand. Just say so, and I’ll turn around and go back where I came from.”

Linda stared in disbelief. This was absolutely the last person she ever expected to find standing on her doorstep.

Janet was quite obviously expecting a baby, though she was dressed in her usual cheap way. Her eyes were painted up like a saloon girl’s, and her face was excessively powdered and rouged.

As the shock began to wear off, Linda stepped back and made a gesture for her sister to enter, then guided her into the parlor and said, “Have a seat here on the sofa.”

Linda picked up a straight-backed wooden chair and placed it in front of the sofa, then sat down on the edge. She immediately jumped back up and said, “Can I get you something?”

“I could use some water.”

“Be right back.”

Only a minute had passed when Linda returned with a glass of water
and placed it in her sister’s trembling hand. Her mind was in a whirl, and she prayed for strength and wisdom as Janet slowly drank the contents of the glass.

Linda could see that Janet was quite pale beneath the rouge and powder.

“Thank you,” Janet said, setting the glass on the small table next to the sofa.

“Of course,” Linda replied. “Now, why don’t you tell me why you’re here.”

Tears welled up in Janet’s eyes and spilled over, making black streams down her cheeks. As she swiped at them with the back of her hand, Linda reached in her dress pocket and drew out a clean hankie, handing it to her.

Janet wept for a few seconds, then wiped her cheeks, smearing the black eye makeup even more. “Linda … I … well, it was wrong of me to take my own happiness at your expense. I’m sorry for all the hurt and heartache I’ve caused you. I’ve left Lewis. Living with him was a horrible nightmare.”

At this point, she broke down and sobbed heavily, mopping tears with the wet hankie.

Linda let her cry but didn’t try to comfort her.

“My marriage to Lewis was doomed from the start,” Janet said, sniffing. “And that’s because of what we did to you. I’m glad it wasn’t you who got him, Linda. He’s a beast … a terrible, inhuman beast! He beat me up time after time when he came home drunk and … and … abused me mentally, too. Oh, it was awful! He made my life a horrible nightmare, I tell you!”

“I’m sorry for that, Janet,” Linda said quietly, still maintaining her distance.

Janet’s hands trembled and her head jerked nervously as she said, “Please, little sister, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”

Partly because she was so happy and content with Blake, and because she knew what Scripture said about forgiveness, Linda slowly nodded her head and said, “I forgive you.”

When Janet broke into loud sobs, Linda rose from her chair and put
her arms around her, holding her until she stopped weeping.

As Linda returned to the straight-backed chair, she said, “When is your baby due?”

“In about three months. The end of May.”

“So you’ve left Lewis for good?”

“Yes.”

“No chance you’ll go back and try to make your marriage work?”

“No chance. Like I said, our marriage was doomed from the beginning.”

Linda’s lovely brow puckered. “So what brought you here?”

“I know Mom and Dad came here to see you.

“Yes?”

“I visited them back in August. I was pregnant then but didn’t know it.”

“I see.”

“They told me you lived in Stockton and were married to a very successful banker named Blake Barrett.”

Linda nodded.

“I’m terribly afraid of Lewis, Linda. He once told me if I ever left him he would hunt me down and kill me. I’m carrying this baby, but it wouldn’t make any difference. He’d kill us both if he found me. I know Mom and Dad would never tell Lewis where you live, so I felt I’d be safe if I came here to Stockton.”

“Do Mom and Daddy know you’re here?”

“No. I thought it best not to tell them.”

“So they don’t know you’re pregnant?”

“No. They’ve had enough to burden them. I don’t want to put any more on them. I … I was just so terrified of Lewis that I took what money was in the house and got on the first train west from New York. In Cheyenne City, Wyoming, I got on a train that was going to Sacramento, then took a stagecoach from Sacramento to Stockton. The stage driver was kind enough to drive me right to the Western Hotel. I took a room there and had my luggage brought in. The man at the desk told me where your house was.”

“And you walked out here from town?”

“Yes. Walking is good for expectant mothers, you know. By the way, are you expecting yet?”

“No … not yet.” Linda would not divulge her problem to her sister. At least, not at the moment. “But being in your sixth month, you shouldn’t have walked that far.”

“I’m fine. The most important thing is that I’m safe from Lewis. And if I can find a place to live in Stockton, I’ll be close to you.”

“Do you have enough money to stay till you have the baby?”

Janet shrugged. “I think so.”

“Well, are you hungry?”

“A little.”

“It’ll be lunchtime in an hour or so. We’ll just hurry it up a bit.”

Janet stood up when Linda did.

Linda looked at her tenderly and said, “You can just sit here and rest while I make lunch.”

Janet made a little pout with her lips. “Couldn’t I sit in the kitchen so we can talk while you fix lunch?”