A Surrendered Heart (19 page)

Fanny swiveled around on the chair. “Oh, Amanda. You need not apologize. I understand how you must feel. When your father was trying to force me to wed Daniel or one of those other young men he thought to be perfect, I became panic-stricken. I understand your plight. There must be something Sophie and I can do to help.”

“It’s best neither of you interfere. Father and Ellert would be angered, and it would do no good. We won’t be making our home in Rochester, and my one hope is that I’ll be permitted to return and visit with both of you from time to time. If Ellert thinks you’ve done anything to hinder his plans, I fear he won’t allow me to come back to visit.”

Her mother entered the room before her cousins could respond, but Amanda didn’t fail to see the pity in their eyes. Even though Sophie hadn’t been in love with Paul when they married, his kindness and love had won her heart. Both of her cousins were in love with their husbands, but Amanda doubted she could ever love Ellert. Her heart had room for only one love, and that, unfortunately, was Blake Carstead. If only she could have realized it in time, she might have been willing to fight for his affection. She had considered telling Ellert about Blake, but something told her it wouldn’t change his mind. He wouldn’t care that she loved another.

“Do hurry along, Fanny. Few though they be, your guests are waiting.”

Fanny stood and twirled in front of the mirror, examining her gown from all angles. “We wanted only close friends and family to attend. And Uncle Jonas seemed relieved when I told him I wouldn’t need a large sum to prepare for the wedding.”

Amanda stepped aside as her mother reached to smooth the folds of Fanny’s veil. “There, that’s perfect. I’m sure your uncle Jonas would have agreed to a large wedding at the church in Rochester if that’s what you’d asked for, dear. Personally, I would have preferred a church rather than sitting in chairs out on the lawn, but it’s your wedding.” She handed Fanny a lace handkerchief. “This is the handkerchief your grandmother carried at her wedding. I know she would be pleased to have you carry it. Now, come along. I’ll go down and take my seat. Listen to the music and come out on cue.”

Along with the help of two servants, Jefferson and George had managed to move the piano to the veranda earlier in the day. “I do wish you had contacted the pianist from the church in Clayton,” Fanny whispered to Amanda. “I hadn’t even planned to
invite
Mr. and Mrs. Oosterman, much less have her play the piano.”

“I know, but Mother asked her before I had an opportunity to go into Clayton. I believe Mother invited several other guests who weren’t on your list, too. She didn’t want me to tell you, but I think it’s better if you’re prepared.”

Fanny’s veil fluttered as she spun around to face Amanda. “Why would she do such a thing?”

“You know how Mother is. She didn’t want anyone to feel slighted or to do anything that might give rise to gossip.” The reply was Amanda’s best guess. She couldn’t be absolutely certain of her mother’s motivation. Perhaps it was her father who had insisted that the social set be invited. She could never be completely sure what prompted her parents’ decisions.

Fanny pulled aside the lace curtain and peeked outside. “This isn’t what I expected. Your mother said my
few
guests had arrived, when all the while she knew—”

A crescendo of three piano chords interrupted, and Amanda stepped to the door. “We can discuss this later. That’s my signal.”

Fanny shot her a look of frustration.

Amanda glanced over the crowd that had gathered to witness the couple’s nuptials. More than a verdant aisle separated the attendees. The Broadmoor guests were clothed in fine attire and bore looks of disdain for the guests who sat on the other side of the grassy division. This would be quite an afternoon and evening—an integration of social classes. She uttered a prayer that this day wouldn’t turn into a disaster for Fanny.

Throughout the ceremony Ellert’s gaze felt like a hot poker boring through to her soul. Amanda had hoped he wouldn’t appear, that some business or personal matter would keep him away from the wedding so that she could enjoy this time with her family. But he had arrived. And he’d taken possession of her from the very first moment he set foot on the island. He’d even voiced an objection when she’d excused herself to prepare for the ceremony. Amanda had prayed this day would create many happy memories for Fanny. However, Ellert’s presence affirmed that her own recollections of this day wouldn’t be so pleasant.

She knew he could be charming, but his lustful nature frightened her. He seemed to think it completely appropriate to discuss topics of a most intimate nature. He alluded to the things they would experience together—some appropriate subjects for discussion and others quite inappropriate.

But she really had no choice in the matter, Amanda realized. She had talked at length with her mother and father, and the situation was quite grave. Every idea for helping the family had failed to move her father toward a change of mind. All he would say was that this was the best solution to the situation if their family was to maintain its position in society. When they had been alone, her father had told her quite simply that it would kill her mother if they were to lose their home and standing. Amanda was starting to believe that he was right. Her mother had always loved her status among Rochester’s elite. To take that from her now would be cruel.

Once the ceremony ended, Ellert pulled her aside. “I’ve been lonely for your company,” he whispered. “Hearing your cousin repeat her vows pleased me, for I knew you would soon be promising to love and obey me. You can’t imagine how much I’m going to enjoy being loved and obeyed.”

She didn’t want to discuss Ellert’s marital expectations. The thought caused her stomach to lurch. “Why don’t we go and join the other guests? Fanny may need my help.”

“
I
need you far more than Fanny does. She has a husband who can assist her if she has need of help. I haven’t had a tour of the island, and this would be a perfect time for you to show me about.”

“You want me to escort you around the island?
Now?
”

“Now!”

“But the wedding guests—”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were attempting to avoid me, my dear.” Ellert pulled her close. “Come along and show me the wonders of Broadmoor Island. Who knows? I may find that the seclusion of island living appeals to me.”

Amanda cast a glance toward the crowd. She had hoped to locate someone who would save her from Ellert, but no one came to her rescue. They walked to the rear of the house and continued along the path leading to the north side of the island. When they reached a small grove below the overhanging rocks, Amanda said, “The view of the water is excellent from this vantage point, but if you’d care to climb the rocks, you’ll need to continue on your own. My shoes won’t withstand the jagged rocks.”

“I find the view from here quite lovely,” he said, pulling her into his arms.

Without further warning, he crushed her lips in a bruising kiss. She pushed against his chest, but her attempt to escape his hold only spurred him on. He pulled her to the ground, his hands now groping her body. Frightened, she clawed at his back, but his jacket offered him too much protection. His cruel laughter mocked her, and she yanked at his hair. “Stop or I shall refuse to honor the agreement you made with my father.”

His hands stilled and he stared into her eyes.

“I mean it, Mr. Jackson. If you take advantage before we wed, I will
never
be your wife. I am of legal age and care little if my father disowns me.”

His anger was evident for only a moment before his expression turned contrite. “I apologize, my dear Amanda. It’s just that your beauty—your very presence—is intoxicating. I could not help myself. I desire you more than anything else.”

Amanda thought his apology less than sincere, but she couldn’t for the life of her explain why. He helped her up and quickly let go his hold. She dusted off her dress, hoping there would be no grass or dirt stains to reveal her shame to others.

“You are so innocent of the power you have over a man,” he said, his voice seductive and low. “I promise you will enjoy our wedding night. I only insist that it come very soon. I cannot say that I will be able to control my desires for you much longer. Do you understand?”

Amanda swallowed the lump in her throat. “We can announce the engagement next week. If my parents’ reputation is to be protected, we must follow the rules of propriety.”

Ellert chuckled. “A few minutes ago, you didn’t care if your father disowned you, but now you worry over his reputation?” Wedging her chin between his thumb and forefinger, he tipped her head upward. “The wedding will take place before the end of August. Agreed?”

“You have my word.” Her voice quivered, and he smiled.

He traced his fingers down the nape of her neck and then leaned close as his fingers returned to her cheek. “You’ll soon learn not to refuse me anything.”

17

Saturday, July 15, 1899

Blake bounded up the steps of the Home for the Friendless, glad to be back in Rochester and the life he’d come to enjoy. The contentment and challenges he’d found in this community had come as a surprise to him, but he now felt at home in Rochester. He’d stopped at home only long enough to clean up after his journey. Now he was anxious to see his patients and visit with Quincy and Paul. He hoped all had gone well during his absence.

He yanked open the door and nearly collided headlong with Paul. “Whoa! Sorry, Paul. I didn’t see you.” He grinned.

“No apology needed. I’m running late and wasn’t watching where I was going. It’s good to see you’ve returned, Blake. We were afraid you might not come back.”

Blake laughed. “You’ll not get rid of me quite so easily.” He cocked his head to one side. “Where are you rushing off to?”

“I have to catch the train. I was supposed to be at Broad-moor Island by noon. If I don’t board the next train, I’ll miss Amanda’s party, and Sophie will never forgive me.” He chuckled. “I’m certain she’s going to be unhappy when I don’t arrive by noon, so I had better be there by the time the festivities begin.”

Blake stood in the doorway, blocking Paul’s exit. “What kind of party are they having for Amanda? I know it’s not her birthday.”

“Oh, I forgot. You don’t know. While you were gone, Amanda was betrothed. The engagement party is this afternoon at Broadmoor Island. I fear you’ll need to find a new medical assistant. Amanda and her husband won’t be living in Rochester. Although I have heard it said he intends to send her to university for proper medical training.”

Blake leaned against the doorjamb to maintain his balance. He felt as though Paul had plunged a two-by-four into his midsection. “Did you say Amanda is engaged?”

“Exactly. Now, if you’ll step aside, I need to be on my way.”

Blake grabbed the sleeve of Paul’s dark suit jacket and jerked him to a halt. “Wait! Could I . . . Is there any way . . . What I’m trying to say is that Amanda and I are . . . were close friends. I’d like to go to the party if you think it wouldn’t be overstepping proper etiquette to show up.”

Paul smoothed his hair into place before donning his hat. “I don’t know why anyone would
want
to go to one of these things, but I imagine the family would be happy to have you attend.” He clapped Blake on the shoulder. “Having you there will be a nice surprise for Amanda.”

Obviously Amanda hadn’t been overly distressed by his disappearance. Otherwise Paul would have refused his request. Blake didn’t know whether to be pleased or displeased that Paul had so readily agreed, but there would be time enough for questions later.

“Will your wife be joining us?” Paul asked.

Blake shook his head. “Whatever gave you the idea that I was married?”

“I suppose it was something Sophie said.”

Blake let out an exasperated breath. Maybe that was the reason for Amanda’s sudden engagement. If she thought he’d left to marry Julia . . . “Come on, let’s hurry,” he said, pushing the thought aside.

After a hasty carriage ride during which the carriage came far too close to colliding with several pedestrians, the two men stepped down, paid the cab driver, and hurried inside the train station. “That was exciting,” Paul called over his shoulder while racing toward the ticket counter.

Determined to keep pace, Blake ran to catch up with him. The train was slowly chugging out of the station even before they’d arrived at their seats. “I’d say we didn’t have a minute to spare,” Blake said, settling into the upholstered seat of the Pullman car. “At least we’ll travel in comfort.”

“Let’s hope the train remains on schedule. I’d rather not have an argument with Sophie the minute I set foot on the island.” He chuckled. “You don’t have to worry about such things, but one day . . .”

Blake forced a smile. “Yes, one day.” He turned to look out the window. How had all of this happened so quickly? Amanda had never mentioned another man. She’d given every indication that she cared for him. He’d expected her to be angry over the incident with Julia and his sudden disappearance, but marriage to another man? The idea was beyond his comprehension. Perhaps it was a man she’d known for years.

When Blake knew he could make no sense of it without help, he turned to Paul. “Who is this man that Amanda plans to marry?”

Paul glanced up from his magazine. “Who? Oh, his name is Ellert Jackson. I can’t tell you much about him except that he seems an odd match for Amanda. He’s much older. From what I’ve gathered, Jonas is the only one who is well acquainted with the man. They had business dealings of some sort years ago when Mr. Jackson lived in Rochester.”

“And this man suddenly appeared in Rochester and he’s already proposed to Amanda? How much older?”

Paul shrugged. “I’d say he’s near Jonas’s age. Could be a few years younger.”

Blake’s jaw went slack. He couldn’t believe his ears. “Did Amanda consent to this marriage?”

“I imagine she agreed, don’t you? She is of legal age. I know her father can be overbearing, but Amanda is a strong-willed young lady. When I consider how she defied her father in order to learn medicine, I find it difficult to believe she would have accepted Mr. Jackson’s proposal unless she wanted to marry him.” Paul closed his magazine and placed it on the seat. “I hope you won’t think me intrusive, but I’d be interested in hearing about your hasty departure. Sophie told me you left town to marry someone named Julia.”

“I don’t want to offend you, Paul, but I think I should first discuss that matter with Amanda. I assure you, it’s not what it might have seemed.”

“Of late, nothing in this family is what it seems,” Paul said, shaking his head.

“This engagement is a mistake, Amanda. I think you should march downstairs and tell your parents that you’ve decided you aren’t going to marry Ellert Jackson.” Sophie folded her arms and gave a single nod for emphasis. She and Fanny had been doing their best to prevent the party, but thus far they’d met with failure.

“Sophie’s right. It’s clear that you don’t have anything in common.”

“He’s not even as nice as he was at first” Sophie added. “He doesn’t seem to care what people think of him.”

“You don’t understand, and I’m not at liberty to explain,” Amanda said, her expression clearly one of distress.

“Why are you being so stubborn? You’ve made it quite clear to us that you love Dr. Carstead, so why are you permitting your parents to announce your engagement to someone else?”

Fanny sat down on the bed beside Sophie. “She’s right, Amanda. You’re old enough to refuse your father’s demands in this matter. You can come and live with Michael and me. I know he would understand and welcome you.”

Amanda sighed. “You and Michael won’t be living in Rochester. I want to continue with my medical training, and I can’t do that if I’m living out here on an island.”

“You can’t do that if you’re married to Mr. Jackson, either. You’ll not be living in Rochester, where you can return to your work at the Home for the Friendless,” Sophie put in. “Even if you are able to locate a doctor who will agree to continue your training, do you think Ellert is going to tolerate such an idea?”

“He said he would.”

“And you believed him?” Sophie asked. “I can’t see that man allowing you to go to a party, much less become a doctor.”

“I can’t, either. Amanda, he doesn’t at all seem the type to want a wife working for any reason. He’s much too controlling. Surely you see that.”

“But if I prove to be a loving wife, perhaps he will allow me to do the things that are important to me.”

Sophie clucked her tongue. “You don’t really believe that, do you? Men like Uncle Jonas and Ellert Jackson don’t change their attitudes when they take a wife. After you’re married, he’ll have no more respect for you than he does now.”

“Probably less,” Fanny said. “Once you’re married, there will be no opportunity to refuse his decisions for you. He’ll make you miserable, and there will be no escape. You know you couldn’t divorce him.”

Her cousin appeared to be wavering, and Sophie stepped closer. She knelt down beside Amanda and clasped her hand. “Don’t do this, Amanda. There are other choices available. I know you’re grieving the loss of Blake, but this man is no replacement for him. From my observations, the man has no admirable qualities. Save for your father, it seems no one I’ve talked to has anything good to say about the man.”

Minnie knocked on the open door. She held Amanda’s freshly pressed gown draped across her arms. Ellert had purchased the dress, and although it had been a poor fit, he’d insisted she wear the gown. Minnie had devoted painstaking hours to ripping out seams and restitching the garment. “I hope it will please you, Miss Amanda,” she said.

“Has my husband arrived, Minnie?” Sophie stepped to the window overlooking the lawn.

“I haven’t seen him. Mr. Atwell picked up a number of guests at the train station two hours ago, but there haven’t been any arrivals since that time.”

“Thank you, Minnie.” The party would begin at two, and Paul had promised to arrive by noon. Her father had conveyed the message when he’d arrived last evening. Had something happened at the Home or at one of the churches he was serving? Surely he would tell them he had a family commitment that required his attention. “When does the last train arrive?”

The flounces of yellow taffeta rustled as Minnie walked across the room and placed the gown atop the bed. “I believe Mr. Atwell said he would make one final pickup in Clayton at one o’clock. Everyone should be here by then,” she said.

“Paul will be here. Don’t fret,” Fanny said. “He probably lost track of time and had to rush to catch a later train.”

“You’re right. He likely became preoccupied.”

“You’ve done an excellent job, Minnie. Thank you for all your hard work. I know you’ve been stitching until very late each night to make certain the dress was ready. I appreciate your help,” Amanda said.

A blush of color tinged Minnie’s cheeks. “Thank you, ma’am. I wish you every happiness in your future.”

The moment the maid exited the room, Sophie jumped to her feet. “Did you see the look in Minnie’s eyes? Even she knows this isn’t a good idea.”

“Oh, forevermore.” Amanda gazed heavenward. “Minnie didn’t appear any different than she normally does. You’re simply looking for evidence.”

“Don’t fool yourself. The servants see and hear things, Amanda. You know that’s true. And they talk about us, too. They know as much about what’s going on in this house as we do—probably more.” Sophie paced back and forth. “Why don’t you go and ask Mrs. Atwell what she’s heard.” She stopped in her tracks. “Better yet, why don’t all three of us go downstairs and have a chat with her. She won’t lie to us.”

“There isn’t time for a conversation with Mrs. Atwell.” Amanda picked up the gown and motioned to Fanny. She was thankful her cousin had delayed her wedding trip until after Amanda’s wedding. Even though Fanny disapproved of her marriage to Ellert, her presence remained a comfort. “Will you help me with my dress?”

“So you’re going to ignore my suggestion? Sometimes I do know what’s best, even if the two of you don’t think so.”

Dropping the dress back onto the bed, Amanda turned to Sophie. “You’re correct. I don’t love him. But not everyone has the privilege of marrying for love. I’m truly happy that you and Fanny have married honorable men who love you. If circumstances were different, I’d refuse to marry Ellert. But this is something I must do. The future of my family hinges upon this decision.”

Fanny slipped the dress over Amanda’s head. “Your father is the one who created all of this financial difficulty. Shouldn’t he be the one to find a resolution to his problem?”

“He has found a solution; it’s me.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Fanny said. “I know I can’t make your decision for you, but I think this idea is deplorable and you should refuse to go through with it.”

Sophie peered out the window and shook her head. “Look at him down there. Puffed up like a rooster with the run of the barnyard.”

“Who?” Fanny and Amanda asked in unison.

“Mr. Jackson. He’s strutting around smoking his cigar.” She turned and shuddered. “How can you possibly think about marriage to that man?”

“Do stop, Sophie. All this talk has become wearisome and changes nothing.”

“Then let’s make a plan!” Unable to bridle her enthusiasm, Sophie hastened across the room and pulled a sheet of paper from Amanda’s writing desk. “I’ll write down our ideas.”

Amanda followed her cousin across the room and removed the sheet of paper from her hand. “I’ve told you that I must marry Ellert. Please stop trying to find a way out for me.”

Amanda gathered the taffeta skirt in her hand and descended the staircase. Sophie and Fanny followed. Even with all of Minnie’s hard work, they all three agreed the dress was ugly. Styles had changed, but evidently Ellert’s taste in women’s fashion had not. The color washed out Amanda’s complexion. Even with extra color on her cheeks, she looked far too pale. The topaz and diamond necklace and earrings Ellert insisted that she wear were gaudy. The color of the large topaz stones didn’t match the dress and made her appear garish. She’d mentioned the differing shades of yellow didn’t complement each other, but Ellert had been insistent.