A Summer To Remember (Seasons of Love & Lust Book 1) (5 page)

Chapter Five

I studied myself in the full length mirror, turning to my “good” side then my “bad” side. I looked healthy, and due to the time in the sun, my dyed hair had developed even more blonde streaks, which was always a good thing.

However, I knew I would be limiting my time in the sun from then on out. I had the perfect golden tan and I had no wish to go overboard, not to mention sun damage that would have my youthful skin looking liked aged leather by the time I was in my fifties.

My mother religiously avoided the sun and her skin was flawless. It was easy to think it was okay to sun worship at my age. I knew if I wanted great skin well into my later years, I would have to ease up on the booze and the sun.

There was a knock on my door and I yelled, “One moment!”

I quickly put away the dresses, still on their hangers, back in my closet. I didn’t know whether it was a woman’s intuition or just plain old logic but I knew it was Paul at my door.

“Come in,” I called after I sat down at the vanity mirror to make sure my makeup was perfect.

I’d decided to wear dark eyeliner, mascara, and red lip gloss. I looked naturally attractive instead of a glamorous city chick, and that was fine by me.

The door opened and closed behind him. I made it a point not to look at him even as he walked over and stood above me. I applied gloss to my lips again just to have something to do with my hands. If they were free, they might act in a way I might regret for the rest of my life.

“I’m assuming Jude doesn’t know you came to personally accompany me downstairs?” I asked. I closed the container of lip gloss and stuck the tube in my clutch.

“No. I needed to see you alone because I didn’t want you to freak out when we got to the club.”

I laughed, though there was little mirth in it. Paul was obviously uncomfortable enough to slip his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He looked dashing and sexy, even I couldn’t deny this. His close-fitting, perfectly structured black jeans were finished off with a white silk shirt that clung in all the right places, and although he had a few buttons undone, he wore not a speck of jewelry. It was so obvious we were part of the “summer crowd”, the money crowd with parents who were worth hundreds of millions—and in the case of both
our
families, billions.

I didn’t know exactly how my father made his money other than he owned a major share of CDG Investments at one time and sold his share to his partners. It was the same firm my brother worked for now. Paul’s paternal grandparents came from old money. On his grandmother’s side of the family, the money had been earned through various West Virginia coal mines her family once owned and had long since sold. The money on his grandfather’s side came from a Pennsylvania steel company.

“Why would I freak out or be upset about tonight? We’re all going to have a good time and as a group of friends. I promise no improprieties from me will happen toward you whatsoever.” I turned around to face him and tried my best to wear a cordial smile on my face. “I don’t mess around with men in relationships—it is a firm policy I stick to religiously.”

“Yes, I know but Ashley has come down with a group of friends and she is going to meet us at the Beach Bar. I didn’t want you to feel like I’d betrayed or lied to you so I wanted to tell you myself,” he said in a soft yet deep, melodic voice.

Our eyes met in the mirror as I turned away from him and steeled my own out-of-control emotions. “That’s great she was able to make it.”

Talia barged through the door then and stood there, her hands on her hips. Working her Christian Louboutin platform sandals which matched a black velvet bustier top combined with a pair of tight violet Capri skinny jeans.

“Jude’s looking for you, Paul.”

He smiled at me then walked out of my room.

Talia slammed the door behind him with her foot. “What the hell is going on and why did he feel the need to try to get all cozy with you when he is meeting his girlfriend at the Beach Bar tonight?”

“It was a friendly conversation and we barely mentioned his girlfriend. He wasn’t flirting with me, you know. It is possible for a man and a woman to talk without any kind of sexual connotations. For God’s sake, he’s more like my brother—you know that.”

Talia laughed and I hated when she did this because it was mocking and made me feel petty and small. “Keep telling yourself that. The same way Savannah has convinced herself she feels nothing for Jude but every time they are in the same vicinity, her cheeks flush and she would give anything to be with him.”

She walked over and stood behind me. “I have been surrounded by fake people for the past two years, ever since I left Vassar and decided to pursue my music career in a cesspool like L.A. Can you please be straight with me for once?”

I stood, because I had to look my best friend in the eyes. She wouldn’t be convinced if I talked to her while we both faced my vanity mirror.

“Nothing is going on between Paul and I. Don’t you know you’d be the first person I’d tell? Okay…I admit there are more than…friendly feelings between us, but we aren’t stupid. We know we can’t act upon them. Jude would kill us both. Not to mention he has the beautiful and perfect girlfriend, remember? Why would he give me the time of day?” Talia shook her head. “I know this all goes back to the shit that went down at Vassar. It wasn’t your fault, any more than what happened in the aftermath. I am so sorry that Kevin ruined a part of your life but you have to stop this! I am so tired of seeing you around here, moping and eternally feeling sorry for yourself. You’re not dead you know, and you can still have children.”

Talia had said what we vowed never to talk about, though she was correct. Yes, I could have children but Kevin had ruined me and the reason why I wasn’t a complete woman was entirely his fault.

“I’d rather not talk about this at all. I know what he did to me because I live the nightmare every single day, Talia. I don’t need to be reminded. We really should go. I’m sure they are waiting for us downstairs.”

She grabbed my left upper arm as I tried to pass her and whipped me around to face her. “Did you tell them? Do Savannah and Autumn know?”

I glared at her with pure fury. “No, they don’t. You’re the only person who knows and I would like to keep it that way.”

Talia’s pale green eyes softened. She embraced me and I responded. I wouldn’t cry though; I’d shed enough tears to fill the Atlantic Ocean and then some. I would never allow Kevin to drag me through the mud ever again. He had taken so much from me but I refused to give him my pride.

“I wouldn’t tell anyone, Jerri, you know that. I just want you to heal and become the vibrant, vivacious, and fun loving woman I knew at school. Who says you want any bad little rug-rats anyway? I could give less than a shit about kids and I don’t want them either. Don’t you know I would trade places with you any day of the week?”

“No, you wouldn’t. It’s easy to say what you do and don’t want until you meet the perfect person and then you realize you didn’t know anything. I don’t want your pity, I just want to get out of here and party. Have a good time and do what people our age do without any regrets.”

Talia’s pale green eyes glared at me a moment. “Fine, let’s go.”

***

The Beach Bar wasn’t merely a place in Westhampton where a bunch of wealthy kids got together and had too much to drink. Unfortunately, it was also home to the locals as well, and that meant extra talent to be spotted. I didn’t see anything wrong with having a one night stand with a “townie.” As long as he had condoms and wasn’t named Guido, we were good to go.

I admit I went overboard trying to convince myself that I didn’t care when Ashley would show up to fawn all over Paul because an hour after we’d arrived, she still hadn’t made it yet.

I had several Absolut shots, in a variety of mango, vanilla, and raspberry, then I ordered a Cosmopolitan and drank like it was my last night on Earth.

Talia, ever worried about me, dragged me to the dance floor. Swaying to “Who’s that Chick?” by David Guetta featuring Rihanna, I bopped rhythmically and the music transported me far away from my current situation.

Out there on the dance floor, I forgot about my problems and my body took over. I knew men were watching, staring at me with open lust and attraction. I didn’t care about that. All I wanted was to feel good and forget about Paul.

Funny how life always decided to throw a monkey wrench in my carefully cultivated plan, because I hadn’t been dancing for more than ten minutes when I heard a laugh so familiar, my heart felt like it stopped beating.

Before I could step off the dance floor, Savannah and Autumn had joined Talia to help with damage control.

“Come on, let’s get some air. You’re flushed and you’ve been dancing for a while.”

“What are you talking about?” All three shots of vodka seemed to hit me at once, along with the Cosmopolitan I downed like it was water. “I just started and the night is still young.”

I’d almost forgotten about that deep, sensual voice and that laugh until it assaulted me again and this time, it claimed all of my senses.

I could smell his cologne: Ed Hardy’s Born Wild, a fragrance I’d picked up as a joke because it described his bad boy attitude, though he was just as privileged as I was and liked to act all tough.

I could hear his voice as he spoke to another young woman, his latest victim and the receiver of all the love and sex he used to provide so willingly to me.

The taste of his body was on my tongue now. So beautiful, creamy and lush, followed by a slight fruity aftertaste.

I could feel the lean hardness of his body because like Paul and Jude, he’d also been a swimmer and had their exact body type. His physique was perfect and I loved the roughness of his face when he hadn’t shaved and the way his facial hair would tickle my neck and my jaw.

The sound of his voice, so perfectly masculine, with an underlying sweetness and the way he could ease me out of a bad mood by just whispering softly into my ear, met my ears.

What the
fuck
was Kevin doing here?

“What the hell is he doing here and why haven’t we left already?”

Talia gave Savannah a warning look then scurried off to try to find Paul and Jude.

“Honey, we had no idea!” Autumn exclaimed. She grabbed me by the shoulders and stared at me with frightened gray-green eyes. “Last time I heard, he was with his parents on a trip to the south of France. He’s not even supposed to be in the States!”

That was definitely a problem in our small circles and who we chose to date and hang out with, because there was no escaping Kevin. He worked for the same investment firm as my brother, though Jude had no idea what had gone down at Vassar or Kevin’s balls wouldn’t still be attached to his body.

I’d told all three of my friends about the one incident but they didn’t know the fallout of said incident. No one knew except Talia.

I began to hyperventilate. Talia tried to pull me away but something inside me rebelled. I twisted away from her and marched straight up to Kevin and his group of friends.

My ex looked me over in an appraising manner, his golden-hazel eyes staring me up and down like I was just another piece of flesh. His dark brown hair was coiffed perfectly, longer in the back for a more preppy look. He was immaculately dressed and his left arm was around a platinum blonde with a glass of champagne in her hand. She looked me up and down with icy blue eyes then she glanced at Kevin.

“Who’s this, babe?”

That sealed the deal. Her strong Australian accent, tanned skin, perfect body, and her proximity to my ex-boyfriend had me seeing red. Who the hell did this Aussie bitch think she was?

I grabbed her by her long blonde hair and twisted it around my fingers. “This cheap
skank
is who you left me for? After everything that happened to us—to
me
—this is what I get in return for all that wasted time?”

“Fuck off, Jerrica. And if you want to keep everything intact, you’ll let Jenna go.”

The whole situation was interrupted by Jude, who peeled me off of Jenna. My hand was clutched so tight, I didn’t realize I was holding strands of her fake blonde hair until I looked down at my right hand. I let them go as if they were diseased and laughed in Kevin’s face.

“You’re not even worth it. I wish I never met you and I wish you hadn’t changed my life to the point where nothing will ever be the same again…all because of you!” I screamed in sheer frustration and bitterness. “You ruined me for every man after you and if I was smart, I would have cut off your testicles and turned you into a goddamn eunuch! You deserve it you self-serving asshole!”

Paul grabbed me by the waist and led me away as I collapsed in tears that were determined to flow whether I wanted them to or not. My heart beat like a piston in my chest and I cried gut-wrenching sobs that wouldn’t and couldn’t be silenced.

Talia walked over and tried to intercept me from Paul. “I can take over. I
know
what she went through and right now, she needs a friend.”