A Stray Drop of Blood (26 page)

“
I am still not going to marry her, Mother.” He ignored the look of disappointment that flooded his mother’s eyes before she could blink it away. He kissed her forehead to soften the blow, then moved into the hallway. “Where is she?”

“
On my chaise.”

He nodded. “I will put her to bed. Did you get her to eat?”

“
Yes.” She followed him into her room, watching as he gently lifted the sleeping Abigail, settling her against him. She then moved in front of him so that she could open his door. As he settled her on the bed, she said, “She was crying for a good while. Did you upset her?”

“
It was a misunderstanding.” The lie came easily. “She was visiting her friend’s mother to tell her she was better; I did not know why she was in that part of town, and I was unhappy enough that I did not give her much time to explain before forcing her home.”

“
Oh.” Ester nodded, but she was obviously concerned. “Elizabeth’s mother is a harlot. She should
not
be in that section of town.”

“
Then we agree.” He smiled, then turned back to Abigail. “I will stay with her a while.”

Ester took her cue to leave.

Jason just stared down at Abigail. Her face was peaceful in sleep, picturesque and perfect, but so very young. He wondered briefly how old she really was. Old enough, clearly, but when her intelligent eyes were not open and scanning the world, when she wore no belt to show off her figure, she could pass for a child. She had that smooth, even complexion, the soft curve of facial bones still not fully developed.

Jason slowly let out his breath and forced the compassionate thoughts away. She was
not
a child. She was old enough to be given in marriage, she was old enough to have a babe of her own. She was learned and intelligent. She was alluring. She had the face and figure to draw any man, the kind of beauty that had been a siren song in many an ear. So he had given in to the temptation–who would not have? Any of his friends would have taken her if they could have, even Apidius, professedly in love with his Roman Drusilla.

What a hopeless situation. He would have liked to be able to keep his distance from her, to punish her for her deception by forcing her to be nothing but a servant for the rest of her life. But he could not. He was not strong enough to resist the promises her sleeping mouth made or the invitation of her still arms. It gave her a power over him that he resented, but one he could not escape. He did not understand why this Hebrew girl had gotten into his blood so fully when no other woman ever had, but he could not argue its fact. When he looked upon her, the rest of the world receded; his responsibilities in the legion seemed unimportant, his dreams of Rome too distant to be concerned with. His only comfort was the thought that she was only a diversion for this transitional time of his life, that when Rome loomed nearer in his future, it would gain his full attention once more.

Her eyes fluttered open under his steady gaze, blinking away the sleep. He did not avert his eyes, but rather just whispered, “What am I to do with you, Abigail?”

He watched sorrow flood her eyes. “Forgive me.”

Her sincerity struck something within him that made the pain resonate all the more. She gripped his hand, and he raised it to his lips and kissed the tips of her fingers. “I do not know if I can, fair one. I do not know if I want to.”

Her lips quivered, but she bit her bottom one until it stopped. “I would not have done it, Jason. I could not.”

“
That is not the point, beloved. You deceived me. You dishonored me. Relenting in one decision does not change those things.”

“
I know.” Her eyes slid shut in agony. She opened them again when he settled beside her, a breath away from her face.

“
I wish I did not want you,” he said fervently. He kissed her.

“
So do I.” She kissed him back.

~*~

Jason was on watch that night, so Abigail was headed for her closet to sleep when Andrew stopped her. It only took one glance at his face to realize the news had spread throughout the household.

“
You are having his child.”

Abigail nodded, unable to think why his eyes suddenly lit.

“
This could be good, dear one.” He took her hands in his. “Your body will change. He will lose interest. But my love is deeper than that, you know that. I will always want you. If he dismisses you, I will gladly wed you; I will be a father to the babe, too.”

She sighed, squeezing his hands in return. She was too tired to argue, to tell him he could not be more wrong. She did not want to say the truth aloud, that Jason would never release her now, even if he
did
lose interest. That he would never relinquish the rights to his child. So instead, she took the easy way out. “Perhaps so, Andrew. It is good to know how much you care.”

He gave her a sweet, promising smile and released her fingers. “You were going to bed. I will not hinder you. Rest well, my love, and take care of yourself; though I suspect everyone in the house will see that you do. We all love you, Abigail. We are all prepared to share in your joy.”

Share in her joy? How could they all love her, yet not realize this was not a joyous occasion for her? How could they think that bringing a child into this situation could be anything but a curse? But she smiled. “Thank you, my friend. I will see you in the morning.”

She turned into her little room, not bothering with a lamp. She crawled onto her pallet, closed her eyes, and was asleep within minutes.

It did not last long. The floor was too hard for her after spending most of her nights in a soft bed, and her stomach would not settle. She dozed off only to wake again before an hour had passed, then tossed and turned for twice as long again. She waited not so patiently for her internal clock to tell her it was time to rise. When she finally lost patience and dressed for the day, she left her room to find dawn barely streaking the horizon.

She barely made it outside before she lost her dinner from the evening before. Retching, she knew true misery. She was standing outside in the pre-day chill, trying to hold back her hair, knees stinging from when she fell onto the ground with the violence of her sickness, tears streaming unhindered down her face. She was completely alone, only the distant call of a bird telling her a world existed outside of her circle of pain. When her stomach was empty, she struggled to her feet and moved slowly to rinse out her mouth and wash her face. She pressed a hand against the flat of her stomach.

Soon enough, it would not be so flat. Everyone would be able to look at her and know. The vendors in the marketplace, the townspeople, Elizabeth and the rest of the general’s household. Some would look at her with a smile, others with pity, still others with derision, depending on how much they knew about her.

By the time she called up enough energy to make it back inside, Dinah was up and stirring the fire in the kitchen. When Abigail came in, probably not looking much better than she felt, the woman put aside her tasks and enveloped her in her matronly arms instead.

“
It will be all right.” Dinah rubbed her capable hands over Abigail’s back. “I know you are not happy right now, but trust me, child, it is good for you to have a babe of your own. Jason will welcome a son and care for you because of it. And if he does not, then Andrew will. Either way, a baby is a blessing.”

Because it was one Dinah had been denied, Abigail would not allow herself to disagree. Instead, she smiled blearily and pulled away to help her with the morning’s work. Jason returned when she was elbow high in bread dough, so he just placed a dutiful kiss on her cheek and informed her that he would see to his own cleansing and join his parents for breakfast. She could only nod.

She had cleaned herself up in time to assist Ester in dressing, then plodded through breakfast. The minute Jason finished his meal, he stood and took Abigail’s hand. “You look exhausted.”

Her eyes sought the ground. “I did not sleep well.”

“
Did you try to stay in your own room?”

“
Yes, Lord.”

He gave her a fondly irritated look and shook his head. “Do not attempt it again, sweet one. You need better rest than your pallet will grant you. Come. We shall sleep.”

He led her from the room.

~*~

Titus drummed his fingers on his knee as he sat waiting not so patiently for Jason to come. They had agreed to meet half an hour ago, and Titus was not a patient man. Especially since he knew very well what would be keeping his friend at home: a lovely set of curves and large brown eyes. He grunted and shook the thought from his head. There would come a day soon enough when he would go home, and then he, too, would have women at his disposal every hour of the day. More of them than Jason had.

In fact, he had just received word from his father. It was this news that made him anxious for Jason to arrive; he needed to tell someone, and no one else would want to hear it. Actually, Jason may not, either, but he was friend enough to listen anyway, and reliant enough on the graces of the Asiniuses not to grumble too loudly. A knowing smile pulled at Titus’s lips. Six more months in this wretched place, and he would be back in Rome, running his father’s companies for him. He was not sure how Caius had arranged it, but he would not complain. He may not like being under his father’s rule, but it was better than the military. Similarly, he may resent that one of his best friends was that largely for political reasons, but he would not complain; it was nice to have some pull over the self-confident Jason Visibullis.

He finally saw him approaching and stood, prepared to offer some snide comment about his lack of punctuality. It died on his lips, however, when he saw the look in Jason’s eyes. Titus drew in a deep breath. Why was it that
he
was always the one around when Jason was troubled? He was getting tired of dealing with his friend’s petty concerns. They were always about the girl, anyway, and Jason was never sensible enough to take good advice and not give her so much of his attentions.

“
Jason,” he merely said in greeting.

“
Titus.” Jason managed to put irritation into the word. “I am sorry I am late. My mother insisted I dine with her before leaving.”

They fell in together and headed for the markets.

He would not ask. He did not want to know. But the silence stretched all the way into uncomfortable and left him little choice. “So how is your Venus faring?”

Jason speared him with a scalding look. “She is pregnant.”

Titus made no response for a moment. He knew not which to make. He was certainly not surprised by the news; these things had a tendency to happen when one frequently engaged in activities of a certain nature. It was Jason’s tone that baffled him. When he did speak again, he made sure his own accent was neutral. “Is this a bad thing?”

“
She seems to think so,” Jason returned testily. Then he spewed a few choice expletives that made Titus grin. “What is wrong with her? I do not
pretend
to understand the workings of a woman’s mind. They are impossible, incomprehensible, utterly forsaken of all reason–”

“
Are you just figuring this out?”

Jason glared at him, but his humor was improving visibly. “Have any of your women been pregnant, Titus?”

“
Yes.” Titus glanced at the stalls they passed but saw nothing of interest. “Although one was sold to us because she was barren. And another became so when she aborted a child well into her term. Yet another miscarried accidentally early on; that was not so long ago. Too soon to know if there was permanent damage. And Caelia,” he said with a small smile, picturing the curves of his favorite, “has no excuse, and has long been ashamed of it. You see, my friend, when a woman knows she is competing for your attentions and affections, she will deem it a matter of pride to carry your child.”

Jason grunted. “Diversity is your answer to everything.”

“
It works.” He shrugged. “You waste too much energy on your slave. The benefit to having such a woman is that she is there when you want her but without the claim to you a wife would have. But if you forsake other women, you might as well marry.”

His grimace led Titus to think that had yet again been the topic with his mother. Then he nodded. Finally. “You are right. I have been too occupied with Abigail.”

Titus clapped a victorious hand to Jason’s shoulder. “Remedy it, my friend. Take out a few coins and treat yourself to an evening on the town.”

Jason moistened his lips. “I suppose I can spare the coins.”

Titus grunted. “You seem to have enough lately. Though where you get it is a mystery.”

He seemed to consider a moment, then pasted on a lopsided smile. “Your father.”

Titus stopped midstep and turned questioning eyes on his friend. Jason’s amusement was catching, but he kept it at bay. “My father?”

Jason chuckled. “He is paying me to report anything compromising you may do.”

Titus knew dual emotions; he wanted to strangle his father and laugh with his friend. “Compromising? But Jason, we both know that when not around him, I am the epitome of responsibility.”

“
And I tried to tell him it was a waste of his money. He insisted.”