A Soul For Chaos (The Soulbearer Trilogy) (2 page)

“I’ve been away for over a month, and that’s all you can think about?” He stopped and pulled her into his arms, his lips brushing against her cheek.

A shiver rippled down her spine from his seemingly innocent kiss. When winter had started, she thought Kell’s attention toward her would fade as it had with prior women who’d caught his eye. Instead, he remained steadfast in his affections, despite his long absences.

“
That’s because he hasn’t gotten what he wants from you,
” Loku hissed.

She stiffened at the sound of the familiar voice in her mind. The other thing that had remained constant was the continuous stream of lewd comments from the disembodied chaos god living inside her. “
You mean he only seems to care until he beds me.
”

Loku laughed. “
He wants you in more ways than you suspect, my little Soulbearer.
”

Kell noticed the change in her demeanor and pulled away. “Is something wrong?”

She shook her head and studied him. Devilishly handsome with dark brown hair that curled around the edge of his face and a dimple when he smiled, Kell could have any woman in the kingdom he wanted. It still puzzled her why he’d chosen her, a low-born witch in a place where magic was forbidden. If it hadn’t been for Kell, she would’ve been burned at the stake months ago for using magic. Instead, she enjoyed a place of honor not only in the palace, but at his side.

Hurt darkened his hazel eyes, and she fixed a smile on her face. “I’ve missed you,” she admitted and leaned her head on his shoulder.

It was the truth. Despite being recently titled for her part in defeating the necromancer terrorizing the kingdom a few months ago, most of the nobles either ignored her or went out of their way to remind her she was beneath them. Even Dev, her protector, had grown more distant over the season, preferring to hide in the palace archives when he wasn’t instructing her on what he called basic magic.

“I’ve missed you, too.” Kell held her a moment longer, the rich timbre of his voice full of emotion and easing any doubts that lingered in her mind. “But if we don’t hurry, my surprise will be ruined.”

As she followed him down the candle-lit corridors, Arden tried to figure out her own feelings for Kell. She once thought she knew the essence of her heart, but she’d been proven wrong. Dev, the man she’d thought she loved had pushed her away, choosing duty over her and leaving her with an empty void. Kell’s friendship helped ease the pain and left her wondering if she cared for him more than she first realized.

“
Admit it—you like the way his kisses heat your blood and make you wish you could shed your dress in a matter of seconds.
”

 Arden’s cheeks burned as Loku dared to give words to her body’s reaction every time Kell came near her. The prince had always had that effect on her, as she suspected he had on many of the kingdom’s young ladies based on his reputation. She touched the golden pendant that hung from her neck and reminded herself she wouldn’t make the same mistakes her mother did.

Their journey ended in the orangery at the edge of the palace. The air dripped with humidity, forming tendrils of steam that wafted up from the exotic palms inside. In the center of the building, a ring of candelabras circled a picnic dinner on a blanket.

Arden grinned. For a prince who grew up dining at the finest tables in the kingdom, the relative simplicity of the meal seemed more appropriate for her rather than him. “What is this?”

Kell led her to the blanket. “Did you know there’s a lunar eclipse tonight?”

Arden sat down and looked up at the three moons above. Despite the fogged windows below, the glass ceiling of the orangery remained clear, revealing a shadow creeping along the border of the largest moon. “How did you know about it?”

 “It happens every twenty-seven months. I raced home from Cordello so I could watch it with you.”

His breath bathed the back of her neck, melting both her resolve and her body as she leaned back into his arms. Kell remained persistent in his pursuit of her, but little moments like this made her wonder if he was after more than her body. “You planned all this?”

“You sound surprised.” He guided her chin so her face tilted toward his. “Do you think I’m incapable of being romantic from time to time?”

The intimacy of his touch combined with the bluntness of his question sent a wave of unease crawling through her stomach. She pulled away from him. “I think you are very capable of being romantic, Kell. After all, you know the center of the maze very well.”

Kell drew in a deep breath and exhaled through his nose. “Dammit, Arden, what do I have to do to prove I’ve changed?”

“
That’s right, my little Soulbearer. Be just like Dev and push everyone away. After all, if you don’t care for anyone, you can’t get hurt.
”

Loku’s taunt revived the heartache she thought she’d buried months ago when Dev told her there could never be anything between them. Was Kell experiencing the same sting of rejection she’d felt? She rested her hand on his arm, struggling with the strange tumble of emotions stirring inside her. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry for what? Oh, never mind.” He jumped to his feet. “I understand.”

As he started to walk away, Arden’s pulse quickened. She couldn’t bear losing him, not after he’d been there for her when she’d needed him most. Desperation tightened her throat. She grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the blanket. When words failed her, she conveyed her plea in a kiss.

Kell’s mouth opened, mostly from shock, but she used it as an invitation to deepen the kiss. A second later, his arms tightened around her, and he was kissing her back in a way that made her head spin. His kisses always had that effect on her, leaving her dizzy with want and breathless when he finally pulled away.

“I meant, I’m sorry I said that,” she said once she was able to breathe. She ran her fingers along his jaw, thankful she’d been given a chance to see the true Kell and not the rake that everyone else in the kingdom saw him as.

He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “So does this mean that perhaps we can be more than friends?”

She wasn’t ready to answer that question yet, and he caught her hesitation. “What is it?”

She closed her eyes and fell back on the blanket. It would be so easy to lie and tell him that she didn’t feel anything for her protector, but Kell deserved the truth. “I’m scared of getting hurt,” she admitted.

He arched a brow. “And you think I’ll consciously do that?”

“Maybe.”

“Fear is rarely rational, but it usually has a cause.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “Did Dev hurt you that badly?”

“This goes beyond him.” She played with her necklace as images of her mother crying flashed through her mind. “My mother—”

Her voice broke. She’d never told Kell about her past, afraid he’d want nothing to do with her when he learned of her origins. She was the illegitimate daughter of a woman who’d been cast aside, the lowest of the low in society. What chance did someone like her have with the Third Prince of Ranello?

She drew in a shaky breath. It was time to test him. “My mother was cast aside by my father when she was pregnant.”

There. She’d told him. Now all she had to do was wait for him to wrinkle his nose in disgust and put an end to his amorous advances.

Kell’s expression sobered, but he didn’t move. “Do you know who your father was?”

“My mother never spoke of him. I know I must look like him since I barely resemble her.” She paused and added, “And I know how he broke her heart.”

“Then perhaps it’s best that you can’t claim him as your blood. He’s a man without honor.”

Her fingers tightened around the small pendant, refusing to let go of it. Kell made it sound so simple, so easy to forget the man who ruined her mother’s life and made Arden an outsider in her own homeland. If only it were. “But doesn’t it bother you to know this?”

“Are you expecting me to judge you based on the actions of your parents?”

“Most people in the kingdom do, or have you not noticed the way most of the people in the palace pretend I don’t exist? Or worse, shrink back in fear because I’m a witch.”

Kell threw his head back and laughed. “People shrink back in fear when my father passes, but that doesn’t mean they don’t respect him.” He inched closer to her. “I’m more concerned about the woman I see before me.”

“And what do you see in me, Kell?”
Besides a yellow-haired witch with an insane chaos god living inside her.

“
I resent being called insane,
” Loku chuffed.

Arden ignored him and waited for Kell’s response. When he didn’t answer right away, an ache formed deep in her chest.

He cleared his throat and brushed a stray hair out of her eyes. “I see a beautiful woman with a good heart. A woman who possesses great power, but uses it to help others rather than enslave them.” His voice took on a husky note as he added, “A woman who’s far above any woman I’ve known.”

The ache intensified from the fluttering of her heart. “Do you really mean that?”

“What do I need to do to convince you of that?” He pulled her closer, his hand on her hip.

“I’m not the one who needs to be convinced.”

He snuggled closer to her until their foreheads touched. “Who do I need to work my charms on then?”

“Your father, for one. He seemed quite intent on keeping us apart this winter.”

He frowned. “I’m a Prince of Ranello. It’s my duty to carry out my father’s business in the realm.”

“Including going into the northern mountains in the dead of winter? Doesn’t that strike you as odd?”

“Not where there are reports of Thallian troops gathering along the border.” Kell the lover vanished, and in his place stood the man she’d known from the moment she first met him, the man who sought to protect his kingdom at all costs. “Besides, if anyone seems intent on keeping us apart, it’s your protector. He’s determined to whisk you away to Gravaria as soon as he can find a ship.”

“You don’t understand.” She pulled away. “I have to go to Gravaria.”

“Why?”

The last thing she wanted to explain was the never-ending conversations she had with the voice inside her mind. The thought of turning into Robb, the prior Soulbearer, still terrified her.

“
Funny how you can tell him about your slut of a mother, but you don’t want to tell him about me. I don’t know if I should be honored or offended.
”

A ripple of magic flowed along her arms as Loku tried to gain control of her. She clamped down on the flow as Dev had taught her and pushed the chaos god back. “
Do you want me to be burned at the stake?”

“There’s little danger of that. Kell already knows you’re a witch.”

“If you take control of me, you might change his mind.”

“Arden?”

Kell jerked her from her conversation with Loku. Like most people in Ranello, Kell only believed in the Lady Moon. The concept of other deities was as foreign as the elves that lived in Gravaria—Ranellians might know they exist, but refused to acknowledge them. Even if she tried to explain what it meant to be a Soulbearer, she doubted he would believe her. “It’s complicated,” she said at last.

“I don’t see what’s so complicated about it. Dev is your protector, not your blood. You can choose to stay here, and he’ll have to live with your decision.”

She played out the scenario in her mind and chuckled. Dev would probably drag her Boznac bound and tied if she refused to leave, and for good reason. If she wanted to keep her sanity, she needed to learn how to control Loku before he drove her to madness.

“Are you laughing at me?” Kell leaned over her, blocking her view of the eclipse and wearing the seductive grin that had cost more than one young lady her virtue. “I stand by my prior statement—the one I should be convincing is you.”

Her body grew warm, and her arms rebelliously wrapped around him. “And how do you intend on doing that?”

“By being completely irresistible.” He kissed her again, pressing his body against hers in a way that did nothing to hide his desire.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she scrambled to resist, but the longer the kiss went on, the fainter that urge became. In its place rose a more primal urge, one that—as Loku so eloquently put it—made her wish she wasn’t wearing the tightly-laced woolen gown.

“Enjoy it while you can. It won’t be long before Dev takes you away from him.”

 Loku’s reminder lingered in the back of her mind, weighing in on the struggle that always warred inside her whenever she was in Kell’s arms. It would be so easy to live in the moment, to indulge in the pleasures Kell offered, to let herself fall in love with him.

Her eyes flew open as his lips traveled lower along her neck. The moon was entirely concealed now, letting the stars around it twinkle brighter than they normally did without its glow. She lay still, inhaling his familiar scent of bay leaf and soap, scared to move for fear she’d ruin this moment. But the fire in her veins grew too intense, and her body rolled in response to his touch. A moan broke free from her throat, signaling the fall of her resistance.

Emboldened by her reaction, Kell traced a path along her body with his hands, moving from her hips to her breasts. While his lips blazed along her bare skin, his fingers worked at the knot that held her dress together. The way he murmured her name between kisses sent delicious tingles through her chest.

Then something changed. The tingles grew more intense, shooting up her spine like a bolt of lightning. Her breath caught, and her fingers dug into his flesh. The earth shook underneath them, ending Kell’s seduction as quickly as a sudden rainstorm.

He jerked back. “Arden, are you doing this?”

She shook her head. This magic was strange even to her. The metallic taste of panic filled her mouth. “Loku?”

The guard tower beside the orangery swayed, moving side to side before toppling toward them. She grabbed Kell and rolled to the side, gathering her magic to raise a shield. The glass ceiling shattered, and Arden screamed.

Chapter 3