A Song for Lucy: A Rock Star BBW Romance Short (2 page)

He knew it, too. Nothing breeds success quite like self-confidence. I wished I had anywhere near as much. When I was a teenager, there were days I wanted to rip out all my hair because it wasn’t wavy or long enough. “Grow faster, dammit!” I would scream at my reflection. I looked at my naturally curvy body in mirrors and in the reflection of shop windows and wanted to cry. Hell, sometimes I did. I convinced myself I hated Danny because he’d never want to go out with me. Cool kids don’t date curvy girls.

As I got older, those feelings went away for the most part
, but you know how it is. Us women are never truly happy with ourselves, right?
Happier
, maybe, but never fully content.

Danny’s track record didn’t help. He was constantly being photographed at awards ceremonies or fashion shows with skinny girls either on his arm or fawning all over him.
He would sit in the front row at New York Fashion Week watching stick-thin swans glide by in the latest Oscar de la Renta or Badgley Mischka creation. What hope did I have?

More than
I realized, it seemed. I was here, after all, at his request.

“Okay,” Danny smiled. “This next song is a new one. We’re trying it out on you guys, is that cool with you?”

The crowd responded approvingly.

“I’m going to ask you guys to do something, okay? Just for the next few minutes, switch your phones on silent, put them in your pocket or bag or whatever. Instead of filming this and putting it up on YouTube or Facebook, just give us four minutes of your undivided attention.
You could film this and look at your screens or you could just simply watch us. The picture is incredible, seriously. It’s like HD and 3D all rolled into one.”

The crowd laughed and duly put away their smartphones.
Like putty in the palm of his hand.

“Okay, pull someone you love close to you. If you don’t have a partner, say hi to the person next to you. You never know, you could make a new friend for life. This is for someone who means the world to me. Someone who makes me smile just thinking about her and makes the world a better place simply because she’s in it. And if she wants, she
can wake up with me every morning for the rest of her life. This song’s named
Your Call
. This is for you, Lucy.”

I felt a shiver run through me. Did he just say the song was for
me?
Danny started to strum gently. The song was slowly paced, with only light drumming from my brother.

“I’m lonely as the sea,

Clouds are following me,

I’ve been looking for you,

You’ve been fine without me.

My heart is beating faster,

Hoping that you might call,

But the phone never rings

And I know you don’t need me at all…

So it’s your, your, your, call

It’s your, your, your call

I’m moving like a train,

Keeping on straight ahead,

Can’t slow down for you,

Remembering what you said.

All the times I hurt you,

Didn’t mean all that stuff,

You deserve someone better,

I wear my heart on my cuff…

But it’s your, your, your call

It’s your, your, your call

So go on your way,

Maybe travel the world,

Just believe when I say,

You’ll always be my girl.

Heart’s still beating faster,

Still waiting for your call,

But the phone never rings,

Now I know you don’t need me at all…

But it’s your, your, your call

It’s your, your, your call…”

Now
that
was a hit song.

Danny threw his arms in the air
as the crowd cheered and clapped. “You like that one? Yeah, sure you do!”

I admit it; he had me
by the heart. Yeah, he was cocky at times, borderline arrogant. But, man, those eyes…and those cheekbones. Damn him
again
for having those cheekbones. The second he started singing that song and dedicated it to insecure, out-of-her-depth, too-curvy-for-hot-boys
me
…well, I melted like a puddle of water at his feet. Suddenly he seemed even sexier, even sweeter, even more gorgeous. I was a sucker for a love song, I guess.

After the gig I
flashed my pass and headed backstage to meet up with Danny. I was way past being proud and denying myself what seemed obvious to everyone else. He’d written me a song, for crying out loud! That’s the ultimate declaration of undying love – well, undying interest, anyway – to a musician. It was like getting a letter from the love of your life while he fought in a faraway country; like receiving a bunch of flowers from the cool jock all the pretty girls wanted but who had chosen you. Mixtapes and dedicated songs – that’s the language of love to a muso.

“Isn’t he gorgeous?
Jeez, I can’t wait to give him the biggest hug of his life!”

I turned to the
blond girl waiting next to me – slim, petite and with too much make-up and not enough cleavage – and smiled. “Who are you waiting for?”

“Danny, silly!” she grinned, flashing the perfect teeth
her Daddy had clearly bought her. “Who else?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, smiling. “Maybe you have a thing for drummers.”

She sneered and flicked her hair back. “Hell, no! That Lucas dude is cute and all, but he’s not Danny. He’s just riding his coattails. Danny could have any drummer or guitarist or bass player he wants. Plus, that Lucas creeps me out. He always stares at girls’ tits with a shit-eating grin on his face.”

I chuckled. She wasn’t wrong, to be fair, but he was still my brother. “He’s a good guy, really,” I
said. “He’s got the biggest heart.”

“Well, screw that. A heart isn’t going to make me scream like a banshee. I want the biggest cock, and that’s Danny. Did you see the bulge between his legs tonight?
”

I winced. Of course I noticed. “Uh, I wasn’t really looking…I was listening to the music.”

“Bullshit!” she spat. “Who wouldn’t look at a hunk like that? That song was nice, though, the one he dedicated.”

A smile crept across my face. “
Yeah, it was pretty special.”

“When he said who it was for I just died. I mean
, to dedicate a song to me? That man is just something else. He knows how to push all the right buttons, if you know what I mean.”

I was confused. “Wait, what do you mean? What’s your name?”

She stuck out her hand. “Oh, didn’t I say? I’m Lucy. I’m the girl in the song. Lucky me, right?”

I felt like I’d just been punched in the stomach, hit with an uppercut, slapped around a few times and
crushed in a bearhug. Now I knew how it felt to have every single one of your internal organs head south simultaneously and wind up between your knees and your angles.

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Lucky you.”

I’d never wanted to get away from somewhere so fast in my life. Even though my legs felt like jelly and it seemed I would pass out any second, I pushed my way through people to get to the door.

“Hey, Lucy!” I turned to see Lucas shouting after me. “Where are you going, sis?”

“Leave me alone,” I said, beginning to sob. “Tell Danny he’s embarrassed me for the last time!”

The rain poured
relentlessly as I ran all the way home, streaming down my face and disguising the tears I’d cried over Danny Farris a thousand times before.

***

I wanted to grab the biggest tub of Ben and Jerry’s I could and just eat the lot. There was just one problem – I didn’t have any. Plus my freezer was broke – it never rains but it pours, people.

Still, that wasn’t the solution. Stuffing my face full of thousands of calories was both stupid and self-defeating. I needed to take out my anger more constructively, maybe
by writing some music. But I sure as hell wasn’t feeling either creative or inspired. The muse hadn’t just taken leave, it had gone on a round-the-world trip at that point. My get up and go had got up and gone.

Part of me was annoyed at feeling sorry for myself – what had I been thinking, getting my hopes up like that? Besides, there were plenty more guys out there – guys who would appreciate me and
not dick me around the way Danny always had. But I was going to have to see him again, if only because he was in a band with my goddamn
brother
. Jeez, the
embarrassment
.

I was about to curl up in front of the TV with half a bag of Doritos and a box set of
Homeland
when I heard the tap on my apartment window. Being three flights up, I gathered it could only mean one thing – someone with exceptionally long arms had come to wipe my tears away and smack me around the face with a cold, wet fish for being so miserable. I peeked through the curtains and opened the window. The slap of haddock across my cheeks would have been a vast improvement from what I saw.

“Get lost, asshole.”

Danny was standing on the street below, holding a puny looking bunch of flowers. “Lucy, don’t be mad. Let me come up.”

“Over my dead body.
And stop throwing stones at my window, Einstein. You’ll break it.”

“Sorry. I had to get your attention somehow.”

“Duh, the doorbell? Where did you get those flowers? Did you steal them from someone’s garden, just like when you were a little kid?”

“Um
, yeah. But it’s the thought that counts, right?”

I started to close the window. “You’re a pig. Have fun on tour, hotshot.”

“Lucy, wait! Please! You’ve got it all wrong, I swear. Please let me explain.”

I leaned forward. “Do you have any idea how much you’ve embarrassed me? Do you have any clue?
I really liked you, Danny. I know that may seem like a surprise to you considering how you used to treat me as a kid, but I really thought we might have had something.”

“We
do
have something, Lucy. That song was for you tonight.”

“Bullshit! Who was that blonde girl obsessed with your trouser snake, then? Huh?”

Danny laughed, making me hate him even more. “She’s just an over-enthusiastic fan, that’s all. She’s harmless enough but she’s a bit stalker-y for my liking. We usually make security stop her coming backstage but she slipped through tonight.”

“She said the song was for her. And you know what? I believe her because she had no reason to lie to me and you’re a big fat asshole.”

“God, stop it! She’s not even called Lucy, for crying out loud!”

I crossed my arms. “What’s she called, then?”

“Rebecca.”

“Oh, come on! That’s not even close!”

“Exactly! She’s just deluded, that’s all. What are you doing?”

I tapped away at my iPhone and looked down at Danny’s big, puppy-dog eyes. “I’m texting my brother to find out if this is all a crock of crap or not.” His text came back immediately.

HE’S TELLING THE TRUTH, SIS.

“Well? What does he say?”

“That you’re being honest.”

“I am, Lucy, I swear.
She thinks I’m going to fall in love with her and we’re going to run off around the world together, which is ridiculous.”

I leaned further out of the window. “Really? And why’s that?”

He looked at the ground for a second then straight into my eyes. “Because I love you, Lucy. I’ve loved you for years.”

We stared at each other in silence for what seemed like forever. “I don’t believe you.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes again. “
Why would you want me when you can have anyone?”

Danny’s smile lit up the street, almost turning darkness into light. “
Because you’re the one, Lucy. You’ve always been the one. That song was supposed to be my grand declaration of love for you tonight and that dopey girl screwed it all up.”

I bit my shaking lip then jolted back to life. “Shit! You’re supposed to be going on tour! The plane leaves in about an hour!”

“Don’t care,” Danny shrugged. “A plane can wait. You can’t.”

I felt a broad grin creep across my face. “How long can it wait? Can it wait the night?”

Danny threw the flowers aside. “It can wait as long as it needs to. When you’re ready, I want you to come with me. Come and see the world with me.”

“Anywhere in particular?”

“We’ll start by watching the sun go down over the Grand Canal in Venice, watch it rise above Times Square. I’ll take you to the tallest building in Cairo, the top of the Eiffel Tower, the peak of the Great Wall of China. Wherever the road takes me, I want you there by my side. We’ll make the ground shake for 50,000 people at Glastonbury and take a hot air balloon over the Sydney Opera House while no-one else is around. Come with me, Lucy. Take my hand and jump off that cliff with me.”