A Simple Christmas Wish (12 page)

“I’m sorry.”

“Michael helped take care of me. He was a very fine man.” She told about how Michael got scholarships for law school but also managed to provide for her by working part-time jobs. “He paid for me to go through flight attendant school,” she continued, “because I wanted to see the world. And that’s how I met Miri—I mean Miriam. She came to work for the same airline, and we became friends right away. I knew from the first time I met her that Miri was special.”

Mrs. Schrock let out a sad sigh but said nothing.

“At first Miri and I were roommates, but then I introduced her to my brother. It didn’t take long before they fell in love.
Miri kept working for the airline, but then she got pregnant with Holly. She wasn’t exactly happy to be pregnant.”

“She was not happy?” Mrs. Schrock looked surprised as she set down her cup.

“She didn’t want to give up her job.”

“Oh.”

“And she worked for a while, but eventually she decided to be a full-time mom.” Rachel paused, wondering if she was talking too fast. Was Mrs. Schrock really getting all this? “Michael and Miri and Holly were all the family I had,” she said again, hoping that this woman might have a heart underneath her severe black dress. “Do you know how lucky you are to have so much family around you?”

She made a sad smile. “
Ja.
I am blessed.”

“Having Lydia and her family right next door must be so nice for you,” Rachel continued. “And then you have Benjamin and your other daughter not too far away. Does she have children too?”

“
Ja.
Ruth has five children.”

“Wow. You have ten grandchildren. You are lucky.”

“
Ja.
I am blessed. I hope to have great-grandchildren too. I expect Jacob will marry soon, and he and his new wife will come live here and work my farm.”

“I thought Benjamin worked this farm.”

She shrugged. “
Ja
 . . . we will see.”

Rachel felt confused but was determined not to get distracted. She was on a mission now. Somehow she had to make this old woman, who appeared to be the matriarch of this family, realize how vital it was for Rachel to take Holly home with her. “So you have ten grandchildren,” Rachel continued.
“And you will have even more great-grandchildren before long, but all I have is Holly.” She sighed. “And now I am losing her.”

Mrs. Schrock nodded with a sympathetic expression. “
Ja.
I am sorry for your loss, Rachel. But you are a young woman. You will marry and have children of your own.”

“I’m not that young,” Rachel insisted. “I turn thirty-five this week.”

Mrs. Schrock blinked. “That old?”

Of course, this didn’t make Rachel feel any better. “Yes. That old. And I’m not even married. My chances of having children get smaller all the time, but Holly is like a daughter to me and I really believe she belongs—”

“I know where you are going, but I have a question for you.”

“What?”

“If all you say is true—why did your brother and my daughter leave Holly to Lydia in their will?”

Rachel took in a quick breath and then spilled out the story of Curtis Garman. Oh, she didn’t go into all the details, but enough to show that she was estranged from Michael and Miri for a while. “But when I realized they were right, Holly was just turning one, and everything between Michael and Miri and me was smoothed out. They even made me Holly’s godmother.”

“Godmother?” She frowned. “What is that?”

“It means I am supposed to help Holly grow up into a strong Christian woman.”

“Oh? And how would you do that?”

“I have already been taking her to church and—”

“But that is not the kind of church she needs.” Mrs. Schrock peered intensely at Rachel. “And living with a single woman
who flies around in airplanes is not a good way for a little girl to be raised. Can you see that?”

“But I gave up my job to take care of Holly.”

“You told me what it was like for you, Rachel, growing up with only a mother to provide for you, and then she died. It was very hard. You had no family. What if that happens to Holly? What if you were alone, with no family, and you died? What would become of Holly?”

“But I—”

“
Hear me.
Do you wish upon Holly what you had? Or do you love her enough to give her your blessing and allow her to remain here with her family? Can you not see that Almighty God has returned Holly to us? That he has brought her here for a reason? Do you want to be selfish? Do you only want your way? Or can you trust God?”

Once again, tears filled Rachel’s eyes. “I . . . I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am selfish when it comes to Holly, but I love her, Mrs. Schrock. I truly love her. But, it’s true, I need her too.”

“What does Holly need?”

Rachel nodded, slowly standing. “I see your point.” She blinked, trying not to cry in front of her again. “Thank you for your time. If you will excuse me.”

“Sometimes it is the hard things that are the best,” she said as Rachel pulled on her coat. “The gem cannot be polished without friction.”

“Good-bye, Mrs. Schrock,” Rachel called as she headed for the front door. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

After she got outside in the cold winter air, she allowed the tears to flow freely. She knew Mrs. Schrock was right.
Rachel was being selfish. Entirely selfish. It was plain to see that Holly loved it here. What child wouldn’t? Rachel herself would’ve loved to have grown up here as a child. To have all this, horse-and-buggy rides, calves being born, and a big family too? Who was she kidding? It was a dream come true.

Rachel’s plan now was to wait until Holly came home from school and then explain the entire situation to her. So far she had not been completely honest with her niece. It was time that Holly understood the conditions of her parents’ will. Then, after she felt assured that Holly was okay and that she was happy about remaining with her new family, Rachel would drive the car into town and spend the night at the hotel. After that . . . well, it wasn’t a complete plan, but at least it was a plan.

No one seemed to be around as she entered the house, and so she used this opportunity to slip upstairs unnoticed, going into Sarah’s room and closing the door. To pass the time until Holly came home, she would read and nap. She hoped no one would come looking for her. Really, why should Lydia care whether she came down for lunch or not? Her stomach was so twisted into knots, she knew she couldn’t eat anyway. The sooner she handled this and was out of their lives, the better it would be for everyone. Especially Holly.

It was close to three when Rachel discovered her clothes were dry. Or nearly. The jeans still felt slightly damp, but she didn’t care. And the sweater would dry later. She’d already packed her overnight bag, and after she was dressed in her own clothing, she neatly folded the Amish clothes, setting them on the end of Sarah’s bed. She looked out the window,
hoping to see the carriage coming home. How long did these children stay in school anyway?

She went downstairs now, peering out the front window.

“The children will be home soon,” Lydia told her with an impatient edge to her voice. “They always get home about now, and then they do chores.”

“It’s just that I wanted to speak to Holly,” Rachel told her. “To tell her good-bye.”

Lydia’s eyes brightened with interest. “Are you leaving? Going home?”

“Yes.” Rachel studied her. They might’ve been friends if they’d met under different circumstances. “But I want to talk to Holly first.”

“
Ja.
That is good. I know she will miss you, Rachel. I can see you are close.”

“We are,” Rachel agreed.

Lydia smiled, and for a moment, Rachel thought she could see Miri in her. “Please, know that you are welcome to visit us, Rachel, anytime you like. Our door is always open to you.”

Rachel felt that familiar lump in her throat, but she was not giving in to it. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” Just then a buggy appeared on the road. “Is that them?”

“Ja.”
Lydia nodded.

Rachel got her coat and pulled it on, going outside to meet them over by the barn. “Hi, darling,” she said as she helped Holly down from the buggy. She hugged her tightly. “Did you have a good day at school?”

Holly shrugged in a tired way. “I guess so.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Rachel touched her forehead, but it seemed fine. Maybe she was hungry and worn out. “I think
Lydia made cookies this morning,” she said as they went into the house. “You interested?”

Holly smiled as she peeled off her cloak.

“How about if I get them and we’ll sneak them up to Sarah’s room.”

Holly’s brow creased. “Will we get in trouble?”

“This time it’s okay. And I need to talk to you. Alone.”

“Okay.” Holly nodded eagerly, as if she was enjoying this game.

“You go on up there and I’ll join you.” Rachel went into the kitchen, ready to defend herself for swiping some cookies and a glass of milk for Holly, but thankfully, Lydia wasn’t around. She hurried and grabbed the contraband, then slipped upstairs. “Here you go.”

Holly took a big bite of a sugar cookie and grinned. “Thanks.”

Rachel sat down on the cot, taking in a steadying breath, and then she began. “There’s something I need to tell you about your mommy and daddy.” She took a moment to explain what a will was and then she told Holly about the first year of Holly’s life and how Rachel and Holly’s parents hadn’t been speaking.

“Mommy and Daddy were mad at you?” Holly looked incredulous.

“We were all acting a little silly, but the good news is that we got over it. In fact, we were all best friends again by your first birthday.”

Holly smiled with relief. “I don’t remember that birthday.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Now Rachel explained how Michael had made his will during that first year, when everyone wasn’t
getting along. “And your daddy put something in the will about you, Holly.”

“What?” she asked with wide eyes.

“Your mommy and daddy decided that if anything happened to them, if they both died, you would be sent to Aunt Lydia to live.”

“With you too?”

“No. Not with me too. You would live here by yourself. With all your cousins and Aunt Lydia and Uncle Daniel and Uncle Benjamin and your grandma. But I will go back to Chicago to live.”

“Without me?”

She nodded. “These people aren’t my family, Holly. They are your relatives. You are really lucky to have so many relatives. Did you know that you have five more cousins besides the ones here?”

“No.”

“And you’ve got your new school and the farm and the animals and the horses and—”

“But what about you?” Holly set the cookie back on the plate that was on the dresser.

“What about me?” Rachel forced a smile. “Well, I’m still your aunt, and I’ll come to see you whenever I can. And maybe Aunt Lydia will let you come and see me.”

“No!” Holly folded her arms across her front.

“No, to what?”

“You can’t do this, Aunt Rachel.”

Rachel bent down to hug her now. “Holly, I don’t want to do this, but it’s the way your daddy wrote the will . . . back when we were all mad at each other. And I think he forgot
to change it after we were all friends. Or maybe . . . maybe he knew this was a good place for you. And it is, isn’t it?” She held Holly back, looking in her face. “Haven’t you been happy here?”

“But you were here too.”

“I know.”

Holly spotted Rachel’s packed bag now. “Are you leaving today?”

“I think it might be best.”

“No!” Holly stomped her foot this time.

“But I have to go, Holly. There’s no place for me here. This is your family, not mine.”

“You’re my family,” Holly insisted. “You told me we were a family, Aunt Rachel. You said you and me would always be together. Remember? After Mommy and Daddy died, you promised.”

“I know, but I didn’t know about the will, and a will is like the law, Holly. It’s something I can’t change.”

“Then ask Aunt Lydia,” Holly pressed. “Tell her that I need to be with you. Tell her we’ll come here to visit. I need to go home with you.” Her lip quivered. “I miss my room.”

Sarah came into the room. “Oh, there you are.” She spied the cookies and shook her head. “You can’t eat in the bedroom, Holly. You know that.” She picked them up.

“Aunt Rachel is leaving!” Holly said angrily.

Sarah looked slightly alarmed too. “What about her birthday tomorrow?”

“That’s
right
.” Holly turned back to Rachel. “Sarah and I were planning a birthday party—just for you, Aunt Rachel. You can’t leave until we have that.”

Rachel took in a long breath. “Oh, Holly.”

“Please, Aunt Rachel. You have to have your birthday party.”

“If I stay for my birthday party, will you try to be very brave when it’s time for me to go? Because you know I need to go.”

Holly looked torn, but she agreed.

“Now we have to go do chores,” Sarah told Holly. “And no more food in the bedroom,” she said firmly, shaking a finger at her. “After Rachel goes, you will have to start obeying all the rules. Mamm said so.”

Rachel felt a shiver of worry run through her, but she knew there was nothing to be done. Her hands were tied. It was inevitable that life would change for Holly. She wouldn’t be allowed to keep her dolls and toys and clothes. Her hair would grow long. But those were small things. In the long run she would be okay with it. The Amish might be difficult to understand, but one thing seemed clear—they loved their children, and their children seemed happy. If they ever weren’t happy, they could do what Miri had done after she grew up. They could leave. If Holly ever needed to leave, Rachel would be there waiting—ready to greet her with open arms.

11

“I thought you were leaving after you spoke to Holly,” Lydia said after Rachel offered to help her with supper. “You might not make it far before dark, but you could get started. And the weather is good and the roads are clear.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to put up with me for one more night if you don’t mind.” Rachel explained about the girls’ plans to have a birthday party tomorrow. “But I promise to leave as soon as they’re done, and Holly understands this.”