A Reluctant Companion (17 page)

“Nina, I was growing bored with you before Madison.” For all the emotion, he might have been discussing the weather.

“You’re lying,” Nina screeched. “I know how you felt. You were falling in love with me.”

Tiernan sighed. “I wasn’t, and I’m not. Ask yourself why Cleo joined me on the Yakima-Grace trip? If I were that enamored, wouldn’t I have asked you? How many nights had I come to your bed in the weeks before Madison came? I don’t want you any longer, Nina.”

She broke into sobs. “You’re a cruel bastard.”

“Perhaps being honest is cruel, but it would be unkind to lie.”

Madison winced at his words as Nina wailed.

“I hope you love someone so much one day, Tiernan, and she doesn’t want you. You need to see how this feels.” Nina’s words sounded like a curse, as though she could actually cast such a fate upon the man.

Realizing she heard Nina’s feet coming her way, Madison abandoned her plan to drop in and hastened away from the door, not eager to be caught listening. It would lead to awkward questions from Tiernan, and she didn’t want to humiliate Nina further by having the other woman discover she’d been privy to her rejection. The sordid experience left a sour taste in her. It was impossible not to analyze the words she’d overheard, to project that conversation over and over in her head, to be the one in Nina’s spot as Tiernan renounced his desire for her. It made her all the more determined to resist any of the gentler feelings for him trying to flourish.

Still conscious of Nina’s footsteps behind her, she increased her pace and ducked into the sitting room where they often had tea. Cleo sat by the lamp doing needlepoint. She was the picture of domesticity, except for the low-cut blouse displaying her breasts to full advantage. A frown crossed her face as she saw Madison’s demeanor. “What’s wrong, honey?”

Casting a glance over her shoulder as she shut the door just seconds before Nina passed, she turned to her friend, taking a seat nearby. “I did a bad thing.”

Cleo arched a brow. “You?” The disbelief lacing her tone spoke volumes.

Madison nodded. “I eavesdropped on Nina and Tiernan.” Clenching her hands together, she shook her head. “He was so cold with her.”

“I can imagine, but I doubt he wanted to hurt her.” Cleo returned to sewing as she spoke. “It’s sometimes best to be direct and honest, even if it hurts for a bit.”

She nodded, having reached the same conclusion. “I know. I guess I just can’t help imagining how it’s going to be when it’s my turn.” Biting her thumb, she confessed after a second. “I’ve also done a stupid thing. I think I’ve fallen—”

Cleo put up a hand. “Don’t say it, honey. Words are power.”

“I can’t just pretend not to feel…this way.”

With a shrug, she set aside her project to lean forward, eyes focused fully on Madison. “No, but you’re opening yourself up for a world of hurt, Madison.” Sighing, she said, “Or maybe not. He’s been different with you. Maybe he’s feeling the same.”

Madison nipped that bit of hope in the bud. “Please don’t say that.”

With a sympathetic look, Cleo nodded. “I understand. If it makes you feel better, I’m a little jealous.”

“Of me?” How could that be?

Cleo nodded. “Just a bit. I don’t love Tiernan, but I see how he acts with you, and it makes me wonder how things would have been if we’d found…that feeling…between us.” Sighing, she picked up her sewing again. “I’ll never know, and there’s no reason to dwell on something I don’t really want anyway. I need to think of my future.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s time I moved on, honey.”

Madison shook her head. “No. Tiernan didn’t tell me he’d dismissed you. He can’t do that.”

Cleo laughed. “You want his old lover hanging around?”

She frowned. “Not as a lover, but you’re his friend, and mine too. There must be another role for you.”

She shrugged. “He asked me about what I’d like to do for the administration, but I’m not a politician or an ambassador. I’m good at using my body, and I enjoy sex. What I need is a new benefactor.” With a sparkle in her eyes, she said, “I’m thinking about a trip to the Republic of Texas.”

Madison choked on a surprised gasp, coughing to clear her throat. “You’re kidding.”

Cleo shook her head. “Nope. Tex would be glad to have the company, and I rather like the randy old gent.”

“He’s old enough to be your father.”

Another shrug was her reply.

Madison probed delicately. “Um, what about a Mrs. Germaine?”

Shaking her head, she said, “Sadie died two years ago. Who knows? Tex might make me his wife, not his mistress.” Smoothing her skirt, she nodded. “Yes, I’m going to head to Texas as soon as the weather cools a bit more.”

“Are you sure? I can’t imagine Tiernan would make you leave, even if you weren’t doing anything, Cleo.”

Cleo smiled. “I wouldn’t be very happy with that arrangement, honey. I like sex too much to wither away.”

“What about a man here? Aidan doesn’t have a partner.”

Cleo shook her head. “He’s nice, but he can’t keep me in the lifestyle I want.” With another decisive nod, she said, “Yes, it’s got to be Tex. I’ll send him a letter this afternoon to see if I can visit.” She winked. “I can’t imagine he’ll say no.”

“No, I’d guess not.” Madison tried to be happy for her friend, since Cleo seemed content with the plan. The idea of letting that old man touch her was repulsive, no matter how nice he was, but if it didn’t bother Cleo, it shouldn’t bother her. Still, she knew it would be hard not to try to talk her friend out of it and might broach the subject again, at least until she was absolutely certain Cleo wouldn’t be dissuaded.

Chapter Eleven

Concern for Cleo faded as her friend maintained resolve, and Madison found herself dwelling on her own problems, specifically how not to care too much for Tiernan. How could she keep her emotions in check when his lightest touch brought her body to life? How could she make love with him but not love him? It was a quandary she was no closer to solving as the days wore on. Inch by inch, she seemed to be sliding into the mire that had ensnared Nina, into the trap of loving a man who didn’t love her. She hated it, even as she loved him.

As she waited for the radio operator to raise her family, she realized she had been with the commander exactly eight weeks as of today. In some ways, it seemed like an eternity, but she also had trouble believing that much time had passed.

It was only her sister waiting for her today. “Hey, Rosie,” she said, trying to shove aside her morose thoughts and focus on the happy moments she got to spend with her family each week.

Rosie didn’t sound happy. “Hi, Madi.”

“What’s wrong?”

With a sigh, Rosie said, “I’m not supposed to tell you.”

Her heart stuttered. “What’s going on? Who told you not to tell me what?”

“Papa said it would just worry you, and you couldn’t do nothin’, so I should shut up.”

It was difficult to draw a deep breath. “Is Momma worse?”

“Yeah.” Rosie sniffed. “She’s real bad, sis.”

“I’m coming home.” She uttered the promise with conviction, determined to find a way. Surely, Tiernan would understand why she had to go home, at least for a while? She could come back later, if he still wanted her. And if he didn’t, it would be the best thing for her in the long run, to avoid a broken heart.

Rosie sounded hopeful. “Are you really?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“Oh, thank goodness.” Her little sister sounded very young suddenly. “I’m scared, Madi.”

“I know, honey. Me too.” She was scared for her mother and a little scared about telling Tiernan she needed to go home. Still, she couldn’t believe he’d really deny her the request.

*****

She approached him in his office right after the conversation. Perhaps it would be better to wait until they were alone in the suite and ask over dinner, but time seemed to be slipping away like sand through her fingers. Fortunately, he had a free moment, and Aidan showed her in.

The sunlight through his office lent his hair a more golden tint than usual, giving him a bit of a halo. Perhaps it boded well for her mission, and she would find him angelic. Probably not.

He grinned at the sight of her. “Hello, Madison. What an unexpected pleasure.”

She wrung her hands. “I needed to see you.”

His smiled widened. “Really? I wish I had more time—”

Madison shook her head, her tone sharper than she’d intended. “Not for that.” Taking a deep breath, she softened her voice. “I just spoke with my sister.”

He nodded, his attention clearly split between her and the stack of papers on his desk. “Uh huh. How is she?”

“I need to go home, Tiernan.” She blurted the words, not able to think of a subtler way to state her request with being so stressed.

He froze, slowly lifting his head to look at her. His gaze was cold. “No.”

She tensed. “Please, I really need—”

He slammed his hand on the desk, scattering the papers he’d been studying so intently a moment ago. “Absolutely not. You can leave when I’m done with you, and not before.”

She flinched at the harsh words, but tried to reason with him. “If you would just listen—”

He shook his head. “I have a meeting. Go now.”

Sighing, Madison said, “Fine, we’ll discuss it tonight.”

Tiernan’s eyes narrowed. “There’s nothing to discuss. Your family can have you back when I say so. Until then, content yourself with weekly conversations. If that isn’t enough for you, perhaps you would like to do without them for a while, to appreciate what you have?”

Madison gasped at the threat. Pushing him any further could be disastrous, especially with her mother so sick. She couldn’t lose that last link between her family and herself. “Fine.” Without another word, she spun on her heels and marched from his office, avoiding Aidan’s sympathetic gaze as she strode past him.

In her room—no, his room—she paced and tried to come up with a plan to get him to change his mind. Eventually, she came to the realization that he wouldn’t give in. He wasn’t even willing to listen to her reasons, or entertain the idea of letting her go and come back. He had made up his mind, and his decision was directly in conflict with the promise she’d made to her sister.

No way was she going to let Rosie down again. Absolutely no way was she not going to be there when her mother died. That left one option. She would have to escape and make her way home. Surely, he wouldn’t bother to follow her back? If he did, maybe she could hide from him until he stopped looking. Or maybe he would realize the direness of the situation and find some compassion to meet her needs instead of his, just once.

Decision reached, now she had to figure out the how. Thanks to the few pieces of jewelry he’d given her, she had items she could trade. Clothes weren’t a problem, and she dressed in sturdy, practical things, packing a second set. Her boots were a bit stiff, and she knew she’d have sore feet for part of her walk, but they would eventually break in.

She wasn’t due to go to the clinic today, but only Vinny knew that. Upon impulse, she had sometimes changed her mind and gone in anyway, so he wouldn’t be surprised if she decided she wanted to. Nibbling her lip, she shook her head, not wanting to get Vinny in trouble. He was one of her few friends, and she couldn’t trick him like that, betraying his trust and putting him in harm’s way. Reluctantly, she decided the only other option was to pick a random escort and hope she could escape from him. She didn’t want him to be in trouble either, but at least the suspicion of cooperation wouldn’t fall so heavy on a guard who didn’t usually accompany her.

Binding her hair in a ponytail, she shoved several pieces of jewelry into her bra, heart panging at the thought of having to trade away the beautiful pink sapphire pendant. Only as a last resort, she vowed, deciding to keep it as a memento of her time with Tiernan if at all possible.

It was little trouble to get a guard to accompany her on an impromptu shopping trip. Thankfully, Tiernan hadn’t had the forethought to put a block on her travel privileges. To her delight, Pike Place Market was teeming with people, likely because of the time of the year. Harvest brought all manner of people into Seattle-Archer that might not normally frequent the city.