A Reluctant Companion (10 page)

He walked over to the section of closet where Cleo had hung a few things, immediately taking out a long pink dress almost the same shade as the sapphire in the necklace she still held in her hand. “This.”

Doing her best to suppress her simmering anger, she crossed the room to take the dress from him, thinking to herself it would clash with her hair, and then wondering why she’d had that thought. She didn’t care about such things. Right? “How long do I have?”

“Thirty minutes.”

She nodded. “I don’t have to wear makeup, do I?”

He shook his head. “Unless you want to.”

“No, I don’t know how to put that stuff on.”

As she walked past him, he snaked an arm around her waist to pull her against him, nibbling on her neck for a second before releasing her. “You look—and taste—better without it.”

She marveled at how his silly compliment and quick grope could dampen the anger she’d felt just a moment before. Attributing it to just one of the ways the commander was gifted, she went into the bathroom to prepare for a grueling evening. After meeting his entourage this afternoon, the last thing she wanted to do was have to deal with more people in Tiernan’s life that would judge her and surely wonder why she was by his side.

*****

With relief, she kicked off her shoes a couple of hours later as soon as Tiernan closed the door behind them. She leaned over to pick them up to convey to the closet and paused there to slip off the dress. Dinner hadn’t been quite as bad as she’d imagined. By the end of the appetizer, she’d no longer felt like a bug under a microscope, though the curious glances had lasted the duration of the meal. Everyone had been polite, if not warm.

At least Tiernan’s second-in-command had been friendly and welcoming. Captain Aidan Hiller didn’t have a wife or husband, and he’d been seated beside her. He was a handsome man with a neatly trimmed blond beard and goatee, along with stunning green eyes. His charming smile and effortless manner had put her at ease, as had the way he and Tiernan had interacted. The commander had relaxed with his friend, returning ribbing comments with the familiarity of close friends, not leader and subordinate.

Seeing Tiernan with his friends had been an eye-opening experience. She’d seen the tender lover in him, along with the ruthless side, but she had yet to make him just lean back in his chair and look content. It sent a hollow pang through her chest to know he didn’t see her that way. Could he ever? After all, he was friends with Cleo. Could they become friends?

Should they? Wouldn’t it just complicate an already complex situation if they cared for each other outside the bedroom? God forbid it made her do something stupid, like fall in love with him. It was much safer to keep their interactions sexual and avoid friendship.

Having made her decision, she still found herself asking him the kinds of questions that led to knowing each other more than an hour later, as they lay in bed entwined together, spent from lovemaking.

“What were you like as a boy?”

He stirred. “Hmm. I was an angel.”

She raked her nails lightly over his abs. “Sure.”

Tiernan laughed a little. “I was stubborn and wild, always determined to have things my own way.”

It hovered on the tip of her tongue to comment that nothing had changed, but she held back the snark. “I see.”

“It drove my mother crazy.” He began twining a strand of her hair around his index finger. “She was trying to raise me to be responsible and disciplined, so I could assume leadership one day.”

“That wasn’t you?”

“Not then.” He shifted slightly, so her head rested more on his pectoral muscle. “It took her a long time to mold me. I had to be ready to accept the burden first.”

She made a small sound, not sure how to reply. “What about your dad?”

Tiernan shrugged, almost dislodging her. “Sorry.” He unwrapped the hair around his finger and began stretching it out slowly. “I don’t know. I don’t remember him.”

“He died when you were young?”

“No. My mother grew tired of him before I had a chance to form memories.” He sounded unconcerned.

Madison winced. “That’s harsh. What, she just sent her husband away?”

He chuckled. “He was just a companion to my mother. She never married or selected a partner.”

She frowned. “Why not?”

He turned a bit, and she ended up lying against him chest to chest, her gaze on his face. “I guess she never had the time or inclination. Personal companions filled her needs, including providing one heir. It was an ideal solution.”

With a scowl, she shook her head. “How was it ideal when you never got to know your father?”

Tiernan’s lips curled into a small frown. “It didn’t matter.”

“How can you say that? I can’t imagine not knowing my papa. You missed everything.
He
missed everything. It wasn’t right.” Tears scalded her eyes as her mind conjured an image of a tiny, fatherless Tiernan with only a cold, regimented mother to parent him.

Tiernan patted her back. “Shush, it’s okay. You don’t need to get upset on my behalf. I turned out just fine.”

Except you’re a man-whore with commitment issues
, she wanted to scream. Instead, she swallowed to regain control. “And you’ve never tried to find him, even as an adult?”

He hesitated, his gaze flickering slightly before he said, “I looked for him once, but he had already died. I think he had another family.”

She couldn’t help stroking his hip in silent sympathy. “I’m sorry. Do you have siblings?”

Tiernan lifted one shoulder. “I don’t know. When I found out he’d died, I let it drop.”

Madison felt anger well on his behalf. “Did your mother ask you to?”

“No, she had died a few months before.”

Her heart ached as she pieced it together. Having recently lost his mother, who must not have been much of a parent, he had to have felt lonely and lost. Finally freed of the restraint of his mother’s presence, he’d tried to find the father he had been denied, had denied needing even to himself. Instead of finding the man, he’d ended up even more alone and bitterly disappointed. No wonder Tiernan was so emotionally closed off.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his chest. “That must have been horrible.”

“It was just idle curiosity, Madison. The death of a man I’d never met was hardly devastating.”

Grasping his hip, she dared ask, “But when your mother died? That must have wrecked you.”

He let out a soft sigh. “It was a difficult time. She was a good model and taught me everything I needed to learn to run the Northwest Federation. I miss her practical advice and guidance sometimes.”

It was all she could do not to let her mouth gape open. Not one word about missing the woman in her motherly role. How could he be so blasé about it? Perhaps you truly couldn’t miss what you hadn’t had? Or more likely, he didn’t grasp how much he’d been cheated of by a woman who sounded like she’d cared more about being the commander of the Federation than being mother to her own son. “I see.” Licking her lips, she asked quietly, “Is that how you intend to get an heir? Will one of your companions give birth and then disappear?”

He sounded unconcerned. “Maybe. I’m not ready to prepare my replacement, so there’s no need for an heir at this time.”

Ugh, he was so cold about the whole thing. Was there any wonder why, considering the childhood he must have endured? Madison didn’t comment, knowing it wasn’t her place to lecture him on the needs of a child that didn’t even exist yet.

“What about you?” he asked.

She stiffened. “What?” Did he think she would be content to give him a child and just walk away? The man was crazy. No way would she condemn her child to the kind of upbringing Tiernan had endured and seemed to think was normal. There was nothing in the world he could threaten or offer that would make her do it.

“Were you a wild child?”

Relief flooded through her as she realized he hadn’t been asking her to be the mother of his heir. “No, not really. I was always practical and helpful.” She smiled, thinking of how often her parents had praised her for being a good girl.

He wrinkled his nose. “You sound disgustingly perfect.”

She giggled. “Of course. Start out as you intend to go on.” At his groan, she giggled again. “It was probably a blessing for my parents that I was the calm, responsible one. Cam has become focused and taken on his responsibilities as he’s gotten older, but he was pretty rebellious as a boy and teen.”

“You’re the oldest?”

She shook her head. “No, Cam is by four years.”

“And then there is Rosa?” he asked. “She’s the wild one, right?”

“Rosie, and yes.” Madison couldn’t push back the worry that welled up, same as it did every time she thought about her sister. “She’s always been spoiled and flighty, with everyone indulging her, but she wasn’t so out of control until my mother got sick. In the past year or so, she seems hell-bent on destroying herself.”

“It sounds like she needs discipline.”

Madison narrowed her eyes. “We’ve tried, believe me. The days of indulgences ended long ago, but she’s still a hellion. No punishment dissuades her, no reason reaches her ears, and nothing can stop her. She’s such a trial.”

Tiernan ran his palm down her forearm and up again. “How old is she?”

“Seventeen.”

He chuckled. “You sound like her mother, not her older sister.”

She grimaced. “I’ve had to take on some of the mothering since Momma got sick.”

He patted her upper arm. “That must be difficult.”

Madison nodded. “Yeah, but it has to be done.”

“What’s wrong with your mother?”

She had to swallow a lump in her throat before she could talk, finding it difficult to talk about Elaine without sobbing. “I don’t know. She sees a healer in the village, and the man gives her some herbs that seem to slow down whatever’s wrong, but he doesn’t know what’s making her sick.”

“I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere. “I lost my mother suddenly, in an accident, so I didn’t have to deal with a lingering illness. Since she was such a force of nature, I imagine she would have chosen the way she died over sickness if she’d had the option.”

“My mother isn’t dying,” said Madison in a voice full of venom. “She can’t.”

He lifted a hand. “Okay. I’m sure you know more about the situation than I do.”

Her voice softened, and she looked away. “I apologize. Yes, I know it’s a possibility, but I don’t want to think about it, especially since she’s so far away right now.” Her resentment at being separated from her family started creeping up again.

Tiernan must have realized her feelings had wandered in that direction, because he suddenly flipped her onto her back, under him. “Allow me to find a way to distract you from those thoughts then.”

For a moment, she was irritated with him, but then his hands started working their magic, and she found her mind floating as her body warmed up for another round of loving. No, she mustn’t think of it in those terms. It was sex. Amazing, mind-blowing sex, but nothing more. Love had nothing to do with it, and she wanted it that way.

Chapter Seven

Tiernan stared out the window, lost in thoughts of Madison. He couldn’t seem to get her out of his mind. Disconcertingly, it wasn’t just the physical images of their nights together that kept distracting him. Instead, he would randomly remember a snippet of the conversations they had shared the past few days, or the way she could switch from angry to amorous in seconds, if he provided the proper incentive. It was too early in the day to go back to the room. He couldn’t give up hours of work time, but maybe he could slip in for a quick—

“Commander.”

He blinked at the slightly annoyed note underlying Aidan’s tone, suggesting the captain had tried to get his attention more than once during their sit-con meeting. “I’m sorry. What?”

Aidan’s expression betrayed no irritation, and his tone was brisk. “We have threats of riot in the Spokane-Brokenbo province.”