A Reluctant Bride (35 page)

Sol should have waited longer.

He sat down at the table and let his face fall against his hand. He hadn't meant to cause more trouble between Aden and his wife. Even when his intentions were good, he seemed to mess up. No wonder he was a disappointment to his father.

His head lifted as three words derailed his train of thought:
you are loved
.

Four days alone, cut off from everyone, had sent him through his own crisis and a blinding rage that had sent him deeper into the woods, vowing he would never return to Birch Creek. Eventually he sobered up and calmed down enough to realize he was lost, something that had never happened to him before. He was a good tracker, having spent years hunting deer and turkey in the woods surrounding Birch Creek. But no matter what he did or where he walked, it was as if he walked in circles.

Then the sickness came. Vomiting, sweating, panic. When night descended he couldn't sleep. He saw shadows in the dark and heard echoing voices, which terrified him. He thought he was going crazy. He thought he was going to die.

Until only one voice remained. Clear and strong, it calmed his fear and soothed his tortured soul.
You are loved.
He heard the words over and over, for hours on end, until he finally believed them. Finally understood what they truly meant, and who was saying them. His mind cleared as his past rolled through his brain, shaming him into submission. When he was able to stand on shaky legs, he suddenly knew where he was and found his way out of the woods. He ended up in a field near the Schrocks' house, and he knew what he needed to do.

He had so many sins to make up for, and he was scared. Just approaching Aden had been difficult, not because he didn't want
to be restored to his brother. For the first time in his life, he craved forgiveness. No, he'd been terrified of Aden's rejection—one that would be well deserved. But he shouldn't have worried. Aden was a good man. He always had been the strong one no matter what his father had said. Sol had been the coward.

Now his brother was out there, cleaning up another one of Sol's messes. But Sol couldn't do anything about Sadie right now. Hopefully she would come to see that he had changed, and she could forgive him. Now she needed to be with Aden, who truly loved her. Sol had always known how Aden felt about Sadie. He'd known since he'd returned home from the cornfield that day, limping and sore from where Sadie had kicked him. Since that day Aden had changed, had borne the burden of guilt that was Sol's to carry. Only out of love had Aden lied to their
daed
to marry Sadie. Sol had been willing to marry her for his freedom. Aden had married her for love.

No, he couldn't reconcile with Sadie, not for a while. But he could do something else. He thought of the money stashed in Aden's barn. In his fury he'd broken his father's strongbox and taken all the cash, intending to use it for his new life outside Birch Creek. Now he knew that was wrong—the money didn't belong to him or his father. It belonged to the community. Somehow Sol had to return it to the rightful owners.

The door opened and he turned in his chair. Sadie didn't look at him, her body tucked close to Aden's while he held her protectively. Aden glanced at Sol, shook his head, and left the kitchen.

Sol stood. He looked at the casserole on the stove. The kitchen was filled with the savory scents of chicken and herbs, causing his stomach to growl. The plates were on the table and all he had to do was serve himself.

The way he'd done all his life.

He turned and walked out into the night.

Aden led Sadie up to her room, torn between leaving her side and telling Sol to leave, and trying to make Sadie understand why his brother was here. The decision wasn't that hard. Even if Sadie didn't believe Sol was a different man—and he doubted she would—he couldn't leave her side. Not when she was so fragile.

He guided Sadie to the bed and turned on the lamp. Her whole body trembled against him. While they were outside she had scared him, until he realized what was causing her breakdown. Sadie was always strong, always stoic. She never cried. And he was almost positive she had never grieved.

She didn't move as he kept his arm around her. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and he wiped them away with his thumb. Her tears tugged at him, but he knew she had to let them flow. He pulled one of the bobby pins from her
kapp
, readying himself for her protest. When she didn't respond, he removed the other three and took off her
kapp
, setting it on the bedside table. Wayward strands of light brown hair framed her face. The rest of her hair was pulled up and bound tight. She suddenly tensed and he said, “It's all right. I'm not going to do anything else.”

He pulled down the covers on the bed. “You're exhausted,” he said, guiding her into the bed. She had stopped crying, but she still looked at him with round eyes, liquid eyes. “I'll bring you something to eat.”

She shook her head. “
Nee
,” she whispered.

“All right.” He started to get up from the bed. “I'll sleep by
yer
door again tonight.”

“
Nee!
” She clutched his shirt.

“I'll tell Sol he has to
geh
.” And he would. His wife's peace came first.

“What if he doesn't listen to you?”

Aden paused. “He'll listen. Lie down, Sadie. You need to rest.” He moved to leave.

“Please.” Her tears started again. “Don't leave me.”

He hesitated, not knowing what she wanted him to do. She scooted over in the bed, then her gaze dropped to the empty spot. He looked at her to make sure, then slipped off his boots and lay next to her. The twin bed didn't allow for any space between them.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered.

“There's
nix
for you to be sorry about.”

“Can you . . . will you turn off the light?”

He reached over and shut off the battery-operated lamp. Darkness filled the room. He felt her put her head against the side of his shoulder. He didn't move.

“I don't know what happened,” she said after a long stretch of silence.

“How do you feel now?”

“A little better. Strange, isn't it?”

“
Nee.
Not so strange.” He took a risk and lifted his arm slightly. She moved her head, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, holding his breath to see what she would do. With a short pause she laid her head against his chest. He let out a long breath.

Then she started talking. She told him about Joanna, about how much she missed her and Abigail, how she ached because she couldn't be in Middlefield to help them. About how she had promised her parents she wouldn't let them down. About how guilty she felt that she couldn't relieve Abigail and spend time
with Joanna because she was worried about finances. She gave him details about the store debt and the huge medical bills. As she spoke he rubbed her shoulder. He hadn't realized the extent of what she'd been holding in.

When she stopped talking, the room was silent except for their breathing. Sadie's became steadier, and he thought she'd fallen asleep. He closed his eyes. Even in the tight quarters and knowing he was literally being a shoulder for her to cry on, he wouldn't have moved from this bed for anything.

“I miss them.”

His eyes opened at the sound of her teary voice. “
Yer
parents.”

“
Ya.
I miss them so much it hurts. I don't know if it will ever stop hurting.”

He thought about his own pain, how it had lessened since he married her, and had decreased even more with Sol's apology. “I pray that it will.”

She didn't reply, and by the stillness of her body he knew she was asleep. His hand moved up from her shoulder to her hair. He brushed his palm against the soft strands, thinking she probably wouldn't appreciate him touching her like this. It was a little beyond simple comfort. But he couldn't help himself. When she shifted in his arms, he put his hand back on her shoulder. He was aching for more—he couldn't deny that. But he wouldn't take advantage of her.

As his eyes drifted closed and sleep overtook him, he thought he heard her whisper in a drowsy voice, “Thank you.”

Light streamed through the curtains when Sadie woke up the next morning. Her eyes felt heavy, her mind groggy, her body
tired. She was spent. But she had also slept a dreamless sleep for the first time since the accident. As she moved, her cheek brushed against Aden's shirt, and everything that happened last night returned in acute detail.

She looked at Aden's profile. He was still asleep, sunbeams sliding across his face. His reddish beard was still growing in, some places in thin patches. She'd never been this close to him before, and she could see every light brown freckle that covered his forehead, cheeks, and nose. She was aware of the weight of his arm around her waist, which had somehow slipped from her shoulder last night. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep next to him, feeling safer and more secure than ever before.

He hadn't asked anything of her. He hadn't tried anything. He hadn't given her answers or platitudes. He had listened. He had been there when she needed him.

She drew in a breath when he moved, opening his eyes. He turned and their gazes met, their noses nearly touching. She felt an unfamiliar pull deep inside herself, more acute than any attraction she'd felt for him before. Scared by the intensity, she shuddered. His arm immediately fell from her body.

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes moving from her face to her hair. The light green irises darkened before he pulled away and sat up. “I need to check on Sol.”

She cringed at hearing the name, but she wasn't as furious or frightened as she'd been last night. He hadn't explained why Sol was here. Instead he'd spent his time comforting her. She trusted him, despite the angry words she'd hurled at him last night. That meant she had to let him deal with his brother in his own way.

His back was to her, and she fought the urge to touch him. Physically they were so close, but a chasm seemed to emotionally
separate them. He finally stood up, turned, and looked at her. “Are you okay?”

Her bed felt empty and cold without his presence. She didn't want him to leave. “
Ya
,” she said. “I am.”

Aden gave her one last look, then left.

Sadie hugged her body. A full day stretched in front of her—cleaning the kitchen, working in the store, washing clothes when business was slow. Mundane tasks that seemed so insignificant in light of spending last night in Aden's arms.

She wasn't at peace. Far from it. But she wasn't angry anymore . . . and she had Aden to thank for that.

CHAPTER 22

B
efore he went downstairs, Aden checked Abigail's room, expecting to find Sol. When he didn't, he hurried down the stairs but didn't see his brother in the living room either. The food and supper dishes from last night were untouched. Frowning, he went outside, expecting Sol's buggy to be gone. His frown deepened when he saw it was still parked near the barn.