A Reluctant Bride (34 page)

Sol turned into Aden's shoulder . . . and wept.

While Sol was upstairs taking a much-needed shower—Aden could hardly stand to be near him—Aden was pulling food out of the pantry and putting it in a big, empty fruit basket. Crackers, bread, a jar of peanuts, an apple, peanut butter—anything he could find that would give Sol a bit of nourishment. He opened the large cooler where Sadie kept the milk, cheese, and lunch meat. He set those in the basket too, grabbed a glass out of the cabinet, and went upstairs.

Sol met him in Abigail's room, wearing the clothes Aden had given him—a long-sleeved blue shirt and dark blue denim pants. They were snug, as Sol had always been thicker and more muscular than Aden. But they would do for now. Sol sat on Abigail's bed as Aden shut the door, then gave him the basket of food.

“
Danki
,” Sol said, then began wolfing down the food—a chunk of cheese, a slice of bread, a handful of peanuts, whatever he could grab fast. Aden had never seen anyone so hungry.

“When did you last eat?”

Sol shrugged. “Four, five days ago, I think,” he said with his mouth full. “If I don't count the alcohol.”

Aden poured him a glass of milk and Sol gulped it down. Then Aden stood back and waited, still unsure if Sol was being genuine about what he'd said or if hunger had brought him low enough to come back. Maybe once his brother got his fill he would be back to his old—and unpredictable—self.

“Why did
Daed
put you in the
bann
?”

“He had his reasons. Mostly because of my drinking.” Sol looked down at his lap. “He was right, at least about that. I was out of control and not thinking clearly. I haven't been for a long
time.” He looked up at Aden. “I'm ashamed of the things I've done . . . mostly what I did to you.”

Aden swallowed. “You didn't have a choice.”

“There's always a choice. I know that now. If I had stood up to
Daed
, if I had told him
nee
—”

“He would have beat you,” Aden said matter-of-factly. “Then he would have beaten me. He'll never change, Sol.”

“But
we
can change.” He pounded his fist against his chest. “We can be better. We can live as God truly wants us to, instead of how
Daed
expects.”

Shocked, Aden regarded his brother. He couldn't remember the last time Sol had mentioned God. Yes, Sol had joined the church. Not joining was unthinkable for either one of them. But while Aden had always felt that being Amish was right for him, he'd never been sure about Sol. Then again, they'd never had any meaningful conversations until now. “Why did you come back?” he asked.

“Because I have to make things right, starting with the person I hurt the most.” He cleared his throat. “I don't know how I can make it up to you when I am in the
bann
, but I'll try. I'll do everything I can to convince you how sorry I am.” Sol slid from the bed to his knees. “Aden, I hope one day you can forgive me.”

Aden's heart contracted. As a kid he'd hoped to hear those words from his brother. As an adult, he'd never expected to. Now, seeing Sol on his knees and hearing his apology given with complete humility, Aden couldn't bear it. “Get up,” he said, going to Sol and helping him to his feet. “Don't ever do that again.”

“Aden—”

“You have my forgiveness, Sol. All you had to do was ask.” The words poured out with no reservation, stunning him. As an Amishman he'd been taught to forgive. It was at the core of his
faith. Yet he'd expected it to be more difficult than this. Years of abuse from Sol, verbal and physical, suddenly melted away.
How is this possible?

Then he realized why. Sol had changed. Something had happened to him while he was gone, something miraculous. Aden not only could see it, he could
feel
it. “We are both victims of our father,” he said, tears pooling in his eyes. “We have both suffered pain at his hands.” He clasped Sol on the shoulder. “I need
yer
forgiveness too.”

Sol wiped the back of his hand across his nose. “There's
nix
to forgive.”

“I should have stood up to him too. We should have banded together.”

“We were
kinner
, Aden. We didn't know any different. Or any better.”

Aden yanked Sol's weakened body into a fierce hug. “We do now,
mei bruder
.”

Sadie locked the store door and headed for the house. She hadn't seen Aden all day, not even when she thought he'd take a break and perhaps share the lunch she'd made for herself and Patience. He knew how to keep himself busy, but she'd expected him to come into the store at least once. She'd kept watching the door all day, but he never walked through it. She needed to see him. To talk to him. To thank him for everything he had done for her. After that . . . she wasn't sure what to do.

Her pulse sped up as she entered the house. She started supper, putting another casserole from one of her
mamm
's friends in the oven, this time chicken noodle. While the casserole cooked,
she went to the living room and called Aden's name. There was no response. Thinking he was in the barn, she went outside and noticed his buggy was gone. He'd left? Why hadn't he told her where he was going?

She went back inside, a nugget of worry forming in her belly. Then she chastised herself. He was a grown man. There was no need to worry about him. But she did care that he wasn't here. That much she had to admit to herself.

An hour later she pulled the casserole out of the oven and glanced at the clock on the wall for the tenth time. It was past seven and almost dark. What if he'd had an accident? She flinched, the back of her hand touching the hot casserole dish.

“Ow!” She yanked back and hurried to the sink, turning on the tap and running cold water over the burn. The pain didn't stem her rising panic as she imagined Aden's buggy, overturned and in pieces, his body mangled from the impact of the accident—

“Stop!” she yelled, forcing herself to stay calm and finding it hard to do. What would she do if he were gone?

I can't lose anyone else . . .

She paced the kitchen, looking out the window, praying he would walk through the door any minute. Halting her steps, she put her palm against her abdomen, willing her stomach to settle, trying to slow her heartbeat. Nothing worked.

She was about to hitch up Apple to her own buggy and search for Aden when the back door opened. As soon as he walked in she practically tackled him, throwing her arms around his neck. “Where have you been?” she wailed. His arms tightened at her waist for a brief moment, and she closed her eyes, feeling the urge to bury her face in his neck.

“I went to get some wood for a new door.” His voice was low, almost a grumble in her ear. “It took longer than I expected.”

“You should have told me where you were going.”

“I didn't want to bother you at the store.”

She should have pulled away. But she couldn't. She couldn't move out of his embrace, which felt better than anything she had ever experienced.

“I'm sorry.” He stepped back, but his hands remained at her waist. “I didn't mean to worry you.”

“I wasn't worried,” she said. At his arched brow she added, “More like a little concerned.” She looked at him, not pulling away from his gaze. Although he held her, his expression seemed unusually distant. “We need to talk, Aden.”

“
Ya
, we do . . .”

She didn't hear the rest of what he said . . . because Sol walked through the door.

CHAPTER 21

W
hat is he doing here?” Sadie scrambled backward, away from the Troyer brothers. She could feel her throat starting to close, the terror rising within her. “Get out!”

“Sadie, it's okay. Sol's not going to do anything.” Aden went to her.

But she moved away, not wanting him to touch her. Moments ago she'd felt so safe in his arms. Now the distrust she'd managed to set aside came slamming back into her. “You promised he wouldn't come back. You promised he'd leave me alone.”

“Sadie,” Sol started to say. “I'm—”

“Stay away from me!” she yelled, tightly hugging her body with her arms. She turned to Aden, his betrayal popping something inside her, a painful breaking of confusion and emotion, pain and sorrow. She rushed past both men and ran out of the house and into the yard, not knowing where she was going—and not caring where she ended up.

She tripped over her own clumsy feet and fell to the ground. As she tried to scramble up, she felt steady arms around her waist.

“Sadie . . .”

Aden's voice pierced through the haze. When he pulled her to her feet, she turned in his arms and started shoving against his chest. “How could you do this to me?” she screamed, every nerve in her body excruciatingly alert.

“Shhh,” he said, drawing her against his chest. “It's not what you think.”

She wanted him to let her go, but instead she leaned into him. The soothing sound of his voice, the strength of his arms around her, the way he was rubbing her back and whispering that everything would be all right . . .

Every bit of strength she possessed drained from her. She was tired of fighting against him, against her feelings, against a pain that was now so acute and oppressive she could barely stand. All she could do was bury her head in his chest and sob.

Sol stood in the kitchen, peering into the night at Aden and Sadie, seeing only their shadows outlined in the darkness. When he saw Aden pull Sadie into his arms, Sol shut the kitchen door.

He looked around the room, not really paying attention to anything, his mind on what he had witnessed. The terror in Sadie's eyes had torn at him. He shook his head at the irony—a few days ago he would have been too drunk to care that she was melting down. Now all he could feel was guilt for causing it. After their talk upstairs, Aden had told him to stay in the barn until he had a chance to talk to Sadie that evening, after the store closed. Then Aden left to pick up wood for a new kitchen door—the one he'd broken the day Sol cornered Sadie. When Aden returned from the lumberyard, he told Sol to give him five minutes.