A Place in His Heart (15 page)

She rolled her eyes. “Please behave. I shall worry, indeed, but not as you intend. Pray, let's sit and talk about all of the things we look forward to when we are in Massachusetts, shall we?”

Ben snuggled next to her. “I want to run. And climb a tree.”

Mary grinned and hugged him close. “Yes. Me too. And you, Jay, what will be the very first thing you want to do?”

“Not climb a tree. The ropes on this ship are more fun than an old tree.”

“That could be true. So, what is it you would long to do? Pray tell, anything at all.”

“Why, I would go home to Mother if I could. Yes, that would be the thing.”

Ben looked with sad eyes at the woman who was a mother to him. “You mean what do we want to do in Massachusetts, right? Joseph, won't you be glad to get off this ship? Why are you always so mean?”

“He is not mean, Ben. He is unhappy, and sometimes, when people are not happy, 'tis hard to be nice to people. And sometimes harder the closer the person is to your heart. Jay, I think you are frightened by what you do not know, and 'tis natural to want to cling to that which you do. I'm a little frightened myself. I miss my family. But we have your father, and we have our belief that God shall take care of us. We shall be fine.”

“What I want most, right now, is to be left alone.”

“And that we can do.” Mary motioned for Ben to scoot over, leaving Jay some room on the bed, should he choose to sit down.
She listened to Ben as he said his prayers, and soon, with the gentle sway of the ship, he fell into peaceful slumber. Closing her eyes, she tried to sleep too, hoping Barney would come back soon to wake her and share the details of the meeting with her and Jay. It wasn't likely they would sleep anytime soon.

Time seemed to crawl and she knew Jay wearied. Slowly she became aware he slept soundly on the floor, propped against the wall. She turned her head toward Ben's cherubic face, drool trickling down his cheek. Taking a corner of the soft quilt, she gently mopped his face.

With care, she swung herself off the bed. Her back toward the wall, she slid down until she sat next to Jay. Trying not to wake him, she shifted him toward her and cradled his head in her lap.

Anticipating the journey's end, she drifted toward sleep, hoping the morrow would bring the joy of release. Not just from the voyage, but their journey to be a family. She would work very hard in this new land. And perhaps, as Barney liked to say, the Lord would bless her good works with a babe. Perhaps Barney would present her with the tongs. Perhaps he would fall in love with her.

July 16, 1637

Mary opened her eyes. Her back ached and she tried not to disturb the still sleeping boy in her lap as she stretched. Barney and Ben slept side by side. When had Barney come back to their cabin? She tried to hold still, but her arms cramped from holding Jay. She tried to gently shift his head.

He woke and sat forward quickly. “Why are we on the floor?”

She touched her fingers to her mouth. “Hush, your father is sleeping.” She pulled a blanket up over his shoulders. “'Tis all right. You fell asleep on the floor, and you are too heavy for me to lift. So I slept with you here. 'Twill be a busy day, I am sure.”

The ship swayed and the gentle sound of the water lapping against old wood soothed them. The bay was calm, a most welcome respite from the volatile ocean.

“Are we going ashore today?” He kept his voice low.

“I don't know. Your father will, I believe. He and Uncle Jeremy shall take a look with some of the other men. Perhaps gather some food, do some hunting. Our larder is low. Fresh
food will be such a blessing. Hopefully, we shall cook a feast on the shore tonight.”

“It makes my stomach hurt to think of eating beans for breakfast again.”

“That I shall agree with. Before we left England, I heard such stories about the corn and strawberries here. 'Tis what I desire first when we walk on land.”

“And a juicy piece of roasted beef.” Jay looked up at Mary. “They do have cows, do they not?”

She buried her mouth in his thick, dark hair, suppressing a giggle. “Shhh, do not make me wake everybody up. I think we shall have a cow or two someday. But I think we shall rely on the deer and elk for our meat until Uncle Jeremy sees fit to bring us cows.”

Barney opened an eye and peered at the two, a grin spreading across his face. “Are you two talking about food?”

“Father, we are starved. May we go with you today?” Jay stood up, stretching.

Mary held onto the table as she raised herself up, her legs stiff. Every muscle ached.

Barney rolled off the bed. He stretched forward and rubbed her shoulders. “I wish I could take you with me, but your uncle has been firm in his instructions. Women and children will stay on the ship, and a party of no more than twenty-five men will go ashore to scout the area. This is not, of course, Boston Harbor. We need to hunt, but we need to ascertain how safe we will be here. If all goes well, we will bring you ashore tonight for a large feast. We hope to build fires and roast whatever we bring in from the hunt.”

He pulled Mary around to face him. “I will see what vegetables and fruit I can find. We have heard all of the stories, but
we don't really know what is out there until we look. A squirrel or rabbit would be as welcome as anything, to be sure.”

She nodded in agreement. “'Twill be a blessing to taste real meat again, but I cannot wait until I touch the ground. You shall hurry back to fetch us?”

“It depends on what we find. Whilst I should like to assure you we will feast tonight, either on shore or aboard the ship, 'twould be prudent to cook a pot of beans. Of course, we sleep on the ship tonight.”

She looked at the small bed. “When do we go to Boston?”

“Much depends on how far off course we are. It will take some time to decide where to build tents or if we can go straightaway to Boston.”

Jay stood up and turned to Mary. “I'll go with you to sort the beans and put them on to cook.”

Warmth spread over her like she had not known before. It seemed her prayers were being answered. She wanted to throw her arms around him, like she had held him last night, but he would object, to be sure. She resisted the urge. “Yes, Jay, I should like that. One more pot of beans, and then I promise you we shan't have beans for a long while.”

Barney moved toward them and opened the old Bible. He searched the Scriptures until he found the verse he needed. “Mary, Joseph, listen. Psalm eighteen, verse thirty through thirty-three, ‘The way of God is uncorrupt: the word of the Lord is tried in the fire: he is a shield to all that trust in him. For who is God besides the Lord? and who is mighty save our God? God girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way upright. He maketh my feet like hind's feet, and setteth me upon mine high places.'”

“Barney, you should share that with Jeremy and the other men. 'Tis like God speaking directly to you.”

“He is. That He is. Now, before we take our leave, let us pray.” They bowed their heads. “Lord, be with our family today and be our strength. I pray for safety, for our food, and for Your guidance in all that we do. And Lord, we pray that our angels who watch over us today will always be with us. Amen.” He looked at Mary and they exchanged a knowing smile.

He picked up his battered musket and drew Mary to him once more, kissing her soundly. “My sweet, I will be gone before your breakfast is ready. Jeremy already waits on the quarterdeck. We will have our prayers and then depart. He is anxious for an early start, as I am. How long we shall be gone, I don't know, but we do need to be back before dark. And I promise you, we shall be laden with food.”

Jay stood, straightening his shoulders to stand tall. “I will take care of her today, Father.”

Barney tousled his son's dark hair. “You are growing up. It gives me much relief to know you will watch over her and your brother too.”

All three turned to Ben, barely visible under the quilt.

“He sleeps so soundly, I wish I could do the same,” Mary said. She bent toward Jay. “Shall we go so we can be back before he wakes?”

With one more kiss, Barney headed for the quarterdeck, while Mary and Jay turned toward the main deck and larder. They walked without speaking. Such a change in his attitude. Perhaps the end of the journey gave him much relief, but it did not matter what prompted it. She was thankful.

They paused at the ship's rail and tried to make out what the lay of the land was. A gray shroud hung close to the water, eerie to the view. The men would be going ashore in a shallop,
a much smaller boat, while the women and children waited on the ship. She prayed Barney would be safe.

A sob escaped from Jay.

“Pray thee, 'tis all right. This is a happy day for us. We were just talking about all of the good food we will be filling our bellies with and how wonderful it will be to put our feet on the dirt of the earth. Are you afraid?” She touched his chin with her hand, raising it to look in his mossy green eyes. “Your father shall be safe. God is watching over all of us. Or 'tis something else troubling you?”

“I'm not afraid.” He pulled away. “I dreamt about Mother last night. She was holding me again. When I woke up, it was you. I miss her so, but she would not have liked that I was mean to you and Benjamin last night.”

“It is good to try to do the right thing, always, for God and for your mother. He watches over us, Joseph. And your mother would be proud of you.”

A gentle rain fell and Mary smiled as she looked toward heaven. She glanced at Joseph's sad face. She slid an arm around him and they watched as the drops fell. “Your mother wanted the best for you and I know it would have made her glad that you are choosing it for yourself too. Now, let us fetch the beans and thank the Lord for them.”

“Thank the Lord for them? I thought we are sick of them.”

“Oh, yes, we are, Jay, but we can be thankful we have them or we would not have survived.”

They slowly made their way to the larder and stared at the beans. Bugs and worms slithered freely about.

“We do thank Thee, Lord, for our sustenance
.
Amen.” Her stomach revolted and she could pray no more. It comforted her to know God heard her prayers anyway, spoken or not.

Jay picked through the beans, and Mary offered up one more silent prayer.

Barnabas quickly stepped up to the quarterdeck. Everyone stood in prayer with heads bowed. Jeremy acknowledged him with a nod of his head as he joined the men. With a hearty “Amen,” the group divided the provisions for the day.

“Take some of this dried beef, Barn. We will all need our strength today. You look terrible.”

“Aye, I am sure of that. Not much sleep, I fear.”

“How is Mary? Is she feeling better? The bay is much calmer than the ocean.”

“She doesn't complain like a lot of women do. That is both good and bad. I never really know what goes on in her head.”

“Mayhap you should just listen to her once in a while, Barn. She loves you very much. I thought with all her sickness she might be with child, but I suppose not, eh? Surely after more than two months of heaving up everything, she would know if she was with child? But I don't know about these matters. What say you?”

“I think she waits to be certain she keeps it. I do not believe she has felt the quickening. There have been many times she thought she be with child, but was not. Very distressing for her.”

“No reason to speak of it until she feels ready. But enough of this. If we are to conquer a new land, we must take the first step, eh?”

Barnabas thumped Jeremy on the back as they turned back to the men. “To the wilds we go.”

Eager laughter broke as each picked up his musket. A bag filled with provisions slung over their shoulders, the assembly
made their way as one to the shallop. Working together, they lowered it to the water and proceeded to climb one at a time over the side of the ship.

Twenty-five men set out to explore their new world. As they rowed toward the shoreline, Barnabas pondered the dangers they might encounter, but his excitement was palpable with each stroke. Before wading the last few feet to the shore, he pulled his Bible from his sack and shared Scripture with them. Their heads bowed in humble prayer and then over the side they slipped, sloshing toward the shore.

Ben woke when Mary and Jay returned to their cabin. Under the quilt, his big blue eyes were the only thing visible. “I thought you left me.”

“Aye, we thought we would, but we needed some provisions.” Jay chuckled. He sounded more like his father each day.

“Jay, don't tease your brother. Ben, get up and let us get you washed and dressed. Your father is already ashore.”

Ben's eyes grew wider. “Without us?”

She poured a bit of water from the red earthenware pitcher into the bowl. “Yes, just some of the men went. 'Tis raining, but there is no wind, so I must try to keep our fire lit for a pot of beans. Pray that our supper shall be a feast from the shore.” She helped Ben with his clothes and they returned to the deck.

A bucket of embers from the galley supplied the flame for her pot of beans. As she stirred them up, Miss Terry made her way across the deck.

Jay looked at her with a steely glare.

“Jay, Ben. Bid Miss Terry good morrow, please.”

Ben bowed with his pleasantries, but Jay barely muttered
before he turned back to Mary. “May Benjamin and I go and climb the ropes? We could see the shore better.”

“Nay, you know you are not allowed. But you may find the ship's mate and ask him if you might go to the top deck to look. I don't think you shall see much with the rain. I must stay with the fire. Be careful now.”