A Perfect Mistake (14 page)

“Everyone
makes mistakes,” Aubree said. “I’ve learned that
one the hard way.”

I took a heavy,
uneven breath. “I have to confess something else. Something
really huge and terribly painful.”

“You can tell
us. We won’t judge,” River Pearl said.

“I wasn’t
on a mission in Kenya last year,” I said, trying to ease the
crippling clot of emotion tightening my throat.

Both Aubree and
River Pearl exchanged glances.

“Where were
you?” Aubree said, her voice hushed.

“I was in New
York City, pregnant with Boone Outlaw’s son,” I said my
voice breaking with strain, the ache increasing in my throat until it
was too big to handle.

#

Boone

It took me like ten
minutes to actually get into my jeans and zip and button them. I was
feeling terrible and weak. But all I could think about was finding
Verity and talking to her. I was tortured by what she hadn’t
had time to say, and I needed answers.

At least my headache
had diminished now to a dull pain behind my eyes, but my chest was
still congested, and I knew I had a fever off and on. But after Brax
and Booker had caught me with Verity they wouldn’t leave me
alone. Either one or the other was here. I was beginning to feel
corralled and really pissed off.

“Where do you
think you’re going?” Booker said.

“To find
Verity,” I gave him a back off look and he narrowed his eyes.

“Boone, you
can’t drive. You’re too sick. You’re going to have
to wait until you’re better. Verity isn’t going
anywhere,” he reasoned.

“How do you
know that? She could be planning to leave right now and I wouldn’t
get a chance to…”

“To what?”

“Talk to her,
Booker. I need to.”

He pushed on my
chest and I lost my balance and hit the bed flat on my back. It took
me a moment to push up on my elbows.

I gave him a look.
“Booker, you remember what it was like before you and Breebree
got together. You remember what it felt like to need something that
desperately.”

He rubbed at his
temple and gave me a sympathetic look. “Geezus, Boone. Of
course I do. This means that much to you?”

“Fuck, I don’t
know. I’ve never really had a chance to find out. I want that
chance. I like her.”

“This hasn’t
come on just recently, has it?” Brax said from the doorway.

My gaze went to his.
He leaned against the doorjamb, his hand on his belt, the other
holding his fiddle case. I shook my head. “No, I liked her in
high school, but, like Aubree, she was out of my league.”

“You took that
job over at the church so you could have your chance, didn’t
you?” Brax said.

“You
channeling Oprah, Braxie?”

“No, I ain’t
got nothin’ on Oprah. It’s the kind of underhanded,
sneaky thing I would have done.” He grinned.

I huffed out a
breath. “I’m pretty sure I did. I wanted to show her what
I could do. How I had turned my life around.”

“You wanted to
impress her,” he said, nodding.

“Fuck, yeah. I
can’t explain it.”

“You don’t
have to, Boone. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Three
untouchable women in this town and those are ones we want. We’re
sick bastards,” he pushed off the doorframe and walked into the
bedroom.

That’s the
first time I’d ever heard Braxton say he wanted her. Booker
looked at him with the same sympathetic look he’d given me. He
was lucky. He already had Aubree and they’d worked through
their differences.

“It’s
only a matter of time before I ask Aubree to marry me. You guys know
that, right?”

“Yeah, we
fucking know that,” Brax said with a grin. “This tripdar
isn’t just for show. Doesn’t mean she’ll say yes.”

“Shut the fuck
up,” Booker said, with a laugh. “You know Brax…”

“Don’t
go there, Book. Not gonna happen.
Never
gonna happen.”

Booker shook his
head, then turned to me. “I will ask Aubree for Verity’s
number, but only if she wants to give it to me. I’m not
pressuring her. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

My heart surged with
hope. “Verity wants to talk to me. She’s just probably
really embarrassed right now.”

“She looked
pretty comfortable to me,” Brax said.

“Yeah, I know.
Another reason I need to speak to her.”

My brothers
exchanged a knowing look.

“We’re
all going straight to hell,” Brax said.

“I vote we
send Brax,” I said. “Since we all look alike, maybe the
devil won’t notice.”

“Sounds good
to me. Lots of fire down there. I’ll just set up my kitchen and
cook for them all.”

“I guess you
could say you’d have him eating out of your hand,” Booker
said deadpan.

“Ha fucking
ha,” Brax said.

“What you
doing with your fiddle case?” I asked.

“I thought
you’d be bored out of your mind. You feel up to jamming? I
wouldn’t mind trying some of that flamenco stuff myself.”

“Only if
Booker will dance flamenco style,” I said wryly.

Booker set his hands
on his hips and snorted, giving us both amused looks. “You
know, I’d do almost anything for you guys, but, ah, no. Not
happening.”

As Brax tried to get
Booker to agree, telling him it was just like stomping bugs, all I
could think about was Verity. What had happened to her at that party?

Verity

My friends sat there
speechless. I knew it was a lot to absorb, but it felt good to let it
out. But the enormity of what I had done, what I had to live with,
washed over me again in a tidal wave of agony and guilt.

“Fuck,”
River Pearl said.

“Shit,”
Aubree said, closing her eyes. I knew what she was thinking. This was
something too big to keep from Booker, but I knew she’d do it.
Because Aubree didn’t go back on her word. I felt miserable for
making her keep my secret, but I needed her more now than I had ever
needed her and River Pearl before.

Without a word,
Aubree wrapped her arms around me. “You went through this all
alone. It must have been awful. I don’t know how I would have
handled that.”

“What could I
do? I had to face it. Believe me, I cried a lot and tried to deny it,
but when the stick turned blue. I had to accept it. Abortion is just
not something I would ever consider.”

“Of course
not.”

“And to
destroy a life that I’d helped to create…” tears
flooded my eyes and I covered my face. “He was so beautiful. I
only got to hold him for two hours after he was born. He looked so
much like Boone.” That night flowed back to me. How wonderful
Boone had been, even though I was a virgin, he handled me so gently,
so sweetly.

“How did you
accomplish this amazing feat?”

“I had applied
to MY, Mission Youth, last year. My daddy made it mandatory that my
brother and I serve the greater good. So I was to research and decide
what I wanted to do when I finished high school. The stipulation was
it had to be for at least a year. My brother really threw him for a
loop when he joined the Marines. He told my daddy that it was the
highest form of volunteerism, just after he told him it would be a
cold day in hell before he’d be a preacher.

“I was
supposed to get my last shot for my trip to Africa, but, of course,
after I found out I was pregnant, I couldn’t do that. So I just
pretended I did. When I got to New York City, I emailed the
organization and told them I had to pull out for health reasons. I
didn’t go into detail and since all their correspondence was
with me, my parents were left in the dark.

“As soon as I
found out I was pregnant, I started looking for Boone, but I couldn’t
find him. I didn’t know how he would react, but I just assumed
it wouldn’t be good, because he never tried to find me.”

“Oh, God,
Verity. He was in rehab.” Aubree said. “Booker told me a
lot about his brothers. He wanted me to understand how much they have
overcome. It’s a lot. Boone has completely turned his life
around. He’s the sweetest, most caring guy. He really is. I
think that’s why plants respond to him. He loves them and has
such a green thumb. He even brought a plant back to life that I had
almost killed.”

“I know that
now, but back then, I thought he didn’t care. I didn’t
realize that he’d been so wasted he just didn’t remember.
I was so scared. I made the decision to give up the baby, feeling
like I had no other choice. I just didn’t know how devastating
it would be. I feel like I’m half a person without that
beautiful little guy.” I took an unsteady breath and wiped at
my tears-streaked face. “I emailed my parents every week with
updates about my work with literacy. At least I didn’t have to
lie about that. After I got to the city, I volunteered with Coalition
for Literacy, because it was important to me to at least fulfill my
mission.”

“How did you
live, Verity?” River Pearl said, looking at me with a newfound
respect.

“Adoption
Agency. They give you a place to live, pay all your medical costs,
and even provide grief counseling. My counselor was simply
wonderful.”

“I can’t
believe you were in the city and you never came to see me,”
River Pearl said, looking hurt.

“I saw you.
You were outside your agency talking to an older man.”

She was silent for a
moment, thinking back. “In January?”

“Yes, I was
hugely pregnant by then and I couldn’t let you know I was
there. I really wanted to talk to you then…” I broke
down.

She put her arm
around me. “Verity, I’ve been so wrong about you. You are
stronger than I had ever expected. How you got through this alone,
I’ll never know.”

“I wasn’t
alone.”

“Who was with
you?” River Pearl asked.

“Minnie
Tattersall.”

“That
twenty-two year old from the UK who’s made a huge splash in the
design world?” She looked impressed and sympathetic all at the
same time.

I nodded. “Yes,
as soon as I got to New York City, I knew I couldn’t sit around
for nine months waiting for the baby to be born. It was an
opportunity for me to see if I had what it took to be a designer,
which you know is all I want to do. I went right to her offices
unannounced and showed her my sketches and the collection I dreamed
up on my bed after I finished my homework every night. I was so
nervous, but I figured I had nothing to lose.”

“She loved
them,” River Pearl said with a smile.

“She gave me
an apprenticeship, and my line is debuting in September during New
York Fashion Week, under her mentorship. It was my plan to tell my
parents that I’m moving to New York City in the fall. That’s
why I came home. She and I have been working together for a year. She
was there for me every minute, and I sneak off into the bayou to talk
to her every day. She was there in the delivery room when my son was
born.”

Aubree took my
hands. “Verity, you didn’t plan to tell Boone about the
baby, did you?”

“Originally,
no. I was just going to be here for the summer. Then stuff started
happening with Boone and before I knew it, I was sucked into
something I’m not sure I’m ready to handle. I’m in
such turmoil right now. I’ve made a terrible mistake. You see,
I had to lie about knowing who the daddy was to give him up.”

I had to stop and
swallow and breathe for a minute before I could go on. “Last
year I was convinced it was the right thing to do. Now, I don’t
know. I’ve taken away Boone’s choice, and I feel terrible
about it. He never had a chance to decide what he wanted to do. But I
just can’t bring myself to tell him. I don’t know how he
will react, but from what I’ve seen so far, and what he said to
me when he was delirious, I don’t think he would have given up
his parental rights.”

I could see that
Aubree didn’t approve, and when I looked at River Pearl, the
same look was in her eyes. “I really need to talk to Boone,”
I said. “He asked me out.”

“What are you
going to do?” Aubree said, the weight of this secret and her
concern for both me and Boone in her eyes.

“I don’t
know. I thought about him with nothing but resentment and anger for
so long. Now it’s like I have been torpedoed and I feel like
I’m floating around in the water broken up into too many tiny
bits. I’ve wronged him terribly. Other than our son, he’s
really the only innocent person in this whole mess.”

“That’s
not true, Verity. You’re innocent of it as well. This can be
laid right on Stacy Chambers’ doorstep. What she did to you was
underhanded and wrong.”

“I know. But,
although Boone and I had a child, that little boy is paying the
price. Not that his adoptive parents aren’t good people. I did
my best to choose good parents for him. In fact, it was the first
time I’ve ever seen a grown man cry. He was overcome when they
came to the hospital. My heart hurts every time I think of his
reaction. But they aren’t his real parents. I’m his
mother, and I feel like I deserted him. But I couldn’t face my
daddy. I still can’t. This whole thing is just unbearable, and
no matter how I try, I can’t see a way through this to do the
right thing.”

“Maybe the
first step is getting to know Boone. Based on what Aubree saw the
other day, it seems you two are getting along pretty well.”

“I don’t
even know how I would tell him, or that I would ever have the
courage. I’m afraid of the fallout. I know that’s
selfish, and I should just step up and take the responsibility.
Especially after all the stuff my daddy hammered into my head…but
I just can’t get myself to do it.”

“Boone’s
home right now, and I know he’s dying to talk to you.”

I nodded. “Thank
you, my best of friends, for listening to me and supporting me.”

It took me very
little time to get to Boone’s house, because Aubree lived with
Booker. I parked and walked up to the door, knowing it was time for
me to tell Boone at least part of what had happened.