Authors: Zoe Dawson
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College, #New Adult, #College Romance, #New Adult Mystery, #Bayou, #Bad Boy, #Family Romance, #Sexy NA Contemporary Romance
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. My boss
is looking to re-landscape the whole place. I showed him some of your
work and he’s blown away. He wants to talk to you.”
My cousin worked for
Eula Downs, a racetrack outside of the small town of Petit Libellule
in Cajun Country. It sported a racetrack, hotel and casino. My cousin
started there when he was in high school and now had worked his way
up to assistant manager. At only twenty-three, he was pulling in a
nice salary, and without a college education.
I downed the bottle
of water.
“Fuck me. That
sounds like a great opportunity, but hell, I’d have to grow my
business.”
He came into the
room and pushed papers off a chair near the desk and sat down. “It
includes a contract for maintenance.”
I leaned back in the
chair. “No shit. I have a small crew that does a few places,
but nothing like the Downs.”
“Well, here’s
his card. Just give him a call and set something up.”
I took the business
card and looked down at it. “Does he understand how young I am?
I’ve had some push-back about that. I’m turning twenty
next month, though.”
“I told him,
so he knows. Hell, they gave me a chance, and now they tell me they
couldn’t do without me.” He laughed. “Hey, do you
have a suit?”
“Fuck, no. I
dig in the dirt, huckleberry, and it’s murder on the knees.”
He punched me in the
shoulder. “You dumbass. Get yourself a suit for the business
meeting. This is the big time, and it’ll be great publicity for
you.”
“I really
appreciate the work, Remy. Thanks.”
“Anything for
my cousin. Tell Book and Brax hey from Cajun Country.”
I was a little blown
away by the offer, but would have to wait till I got my brain back to
make the call. I muddled through the paperwork for another half an
hour, then got tired of it.
This isn’t
what I wanted to do. I wanted to talk to Verity, and until I did my
concentration would be shot.
Verity
When I got back to
the house, I did actually take a nap, but I called Stacy first, and
she told me I could come over anytime. She sounded really surprised
and wary to hear from me. After the graduation party, I avoided her.
Everything had been so upsetting, and with such a hard decision to
make, and a terrible secret to keep, I couldn’t really talk
much to anyone.
I dodged my parents
for the rest of day and even holed up in my room, telling them I
wasn’t hungry for dinner. I simply had no appetite. Aubree and
River Pearl called me several times, but I just wasn’t ready to
talk.
The next morning, I
so wanted to stop by Boone’s house and see how he was doing,
but I didn’t want to see him again until I had talked to Stacy.
If I had a brain
cell in my head, I would tell him everything and just let the chips
fall where they would fall, but the fear of my daddy finding out
everything was just too scary and upsetting. I wasn’t sure I
could live with the look of shame I knew I’d see in his eyes.
As I drove away from
the church, the bayou was a tangled mass shooting past my window.
Lush and wild. Trees crowded what land there was, shoulder to
shoulder, their crowns entangled in a dense canopy of green that
blotted out the sun, leaving the ground below them veiled in
darkness. So many flowers bloomed and grew with riotous color, so you
couldn’t decide where to look and linger.
The bayou branched
off again and again, each arm reaching into another pocket of
wilderness. Some of the channels were wide as rivers, others narrow
trickles of streams, all of them part of a vast labyrinth of no-man’s
land. In the Atchafalaya, it seemed the world was still forming,
ever-changing, metamorphosing, and yet always primitive.
I loved the bayou
for transporting me away, away from my problems and worries. The
swamp worked its magic on me again, pulling me into its beauty, where
no choice existed but to simply embrace its power.
I’d missed the
bayou while I was away, and the thought of never seeing the lush
greenery or that sky’s palette of color when the sun rose made
me so sad. That deep purple that gave way to sapphire and finally to
an intense summer blue.
I left a lot of the
lushness behind when I reached the outskirts of town and drove
through Suttontowne. Stacy lived just on the back side.
Stacy’s house
was a ranch-style, with the requisite half-tub shrine to Holy Mary.
I took a breath.
That’s what the Outlaws called me. Holy Mary Verity. I’d
hated that nickname in high school, but now I realized it was just a
way for them to keep in mind that I was off limits. I hated that,
too, now. Living up to the concept of piety wasn’t fun. But I’d
lived up to it until that night. Now I really didn’t know how
to define myself. I’d fallen, embraced temptation and fallen
very, very hard. I’d just been in a bathtub and in bed with a
naked man. It had felt right to me.
Boone had felt so
good against me.
I parked and walked
up the path. Stacy must have been waiting for me, because she pulled
open the door and stood there. She was tense and I had to wonder why.
“Verity. It’s
been a long time.” She pushed off the doorjamb and turned to go
inside. I followed her through the living room and kitchen to the
back yard, where we settled on a stone bench.
“How was your
mission?”
“It was okay.
How’s school?”
She laughed
nervously, “Great. Party all the time. It’s been a
blast.”
I shook my head.
“You don’t change, Stacy.”
“Guess not.
So, what brings you by? Wanna talk about old times?”
“As a matter
of fact, I do,” I smiled weakly, afraid of broaching the
subject. Afraid at what I would find out. “I wanted to talk to
you about the night of the graduation party.”
She stiffened. “Wow.
That was a blowout. I was so wasted by the end. I don’t think I
could have moved even if I wanted to.” She laughed nervously.
“Something
happened that night. Something I don’t understand, because I’m
always so careful.”
She gave me a wry
look and snorted. “That’s the understatement of the year.
You were so uptight and laced up. But you had fun at the party. I saw
you.”
“That’s
the problem. Someone drugged me. Slipped me X. I thought it was Boone
Outlaw, but now I’m not so sure.”
“Boone?”
Stacy said, her brows rose. “I know Boone. He’d never do
something like that. Besides, he’s so gorgeous, he doesn’t
need X to have his way with anyone.”
She’d grown
tenser and I felt kinda sick. I didn’t want to believe what I
was thinking. “Did you happen to see who might have done it?”
She stared at me
like I was naïve and up until now, I was. I felt so stupid and
angry. “What? You haven’t figured it out already? It was
me, Verity.” She met my eyes, her look unapologetic, her mouth
set in a grim line.
I surged up from the
bench, doing my best to control the fine trembling in my limbs. Shock
coursed through me and I stared at the guilty look in her eyes. “How
could you, Stacy?” my voice hitched.
“You were
always Miss Prim and Proper,” she huffed. “Always
uptight, always in control.”
I pressed my hand to
my mouth and fought against the emotions that were buffeting me like
hurricane winds. Every time I thought I was getting past all this,
just when I thought my feet were firmly planted under me, I’d
get knocked back. I pulled in on myself, everything else getting
drowned out by the stark realization.
“You had a
good time, finally. Just like I wanted you to.”
I dropped my hand
and just stared at her. “You have no idea what you’ve
done. No idea at all.”
What
have I done? Oh, Boone, I’m so sorry.
She glared at me. “I
couldn’t stand the hypocrisy. I knew you weren’t any
different than the rest of us. You were just as horny and wanted a
guy between your legs. I hope you got several that night and it felt
good. Didn’t it?”
“You are
despicable. I might have been all those things, but you had no right
to take away my ability to choose. I could have pressed charges.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Really, Verity? I think we’re done.”
“We are so
done!”
Without another word
to her, I turned and walked through her house and out her front door.
Inside my car, I was shaking. I pushed Aubree’s last call. When
she picked up, I said. “I need to talk to you and River Pearl.
Is Booker there?”
“No. He’s
not. He went over to see how Boone is doing.”
“How is he
doing?”
“He’s
really sick, but he’s muddling through.”
I had this crazy
notion to drive over there and…I don’t know…take
care of him. “Okay, I’ll be there shortly.”
When I pulled up to
Booker’s house and got out, Aubree was there at the front door,
just waiting for me. I broke into a run and ran up the stairs,
throwing my arms around her and hugging hard. We stood like that
until I heard a car and the sound of footsteps. Then the warmth of
River Pearl pressed against my back as she joined the hug.
I worked furiously
to tamp down all the pain and heartache I’d supposedly dealt
with already. Stacy had been wrong by taking my choices away from me.
But I wasn’t blameless. I was the one who had sought out Boone
in the bed of his truck. I was the one who had straddled him and
kissed him and rubbed myself against him. Giving free rein to all the
feelings that had built up over the years, while I’d watched
him and he’d watched me. Lost in the feeling of ecstasy, lost
in Boone’s heat, textures, the sheer need for him.
I hadn’t
really known a damn thing about him then. Just built up this fantasy
in my head. I’d had no idea how wonderful he truly was. I bit
my lip against the pain, squeezed my eyes shut against it, afraid if
I even breathed the dam would burst and I would dissolve into a
quivering mass of weakness and guilt and pain.
When I’d
pulled myself together a bit, I turned to hug River Pearl back and
was a bit shocked to see that she was no longer a blonde. Her hair
was a wonderful golden, sparkling brown.
“It’s
going to be okay,” Aubree said, patting my back.
But it was too
fresh, and I’d barely adjusted to the news of what Stacy had
done. I covered my face and burst into tears. Aubree pulled me inside
and sat me on the couch.
I felt her sit down
next to me and River Pearl on the other side.
“Oh, Verity,”
River Pearl said. “We’re here for you.”
I raised my head and
looked at them both. “I should have confided in you before now,
but I was so upset and everything was so out of control.”
“And us
perfect girls don’t like to be out of control. What happened,
Verity?” River Pearl asked.
I told them about
the X and the party. I told them about how I had treated Boone, and
my suspicions, then I told them who had really spiked my drink.
“I’ll
kick her ass,” River Pearl said.
“There’s
more. The X, it made me really lose myself…”
“Take your
time,” Aubree said.
“I have to
swear you both to secrecy. You cannot tell anyone what I’m
going to tell you. Promise me.”
“I promise,”
River Pearl said.
I looked at Aubree.
“Not even Booker, especially not Booker.”
She bit her lip. “I
promised I wouldn’t keep any more secrets from him.”
“I totally
understand that, Aubree. But you’re making this promise to me.
I need you both now. I needed you last year. I should have come to
you, but I was so scared and felt so alone. Lost.”
Aubree took my
hands. “All right. I promise.”
“I know this
will be hard for you, Aubree and it’s unfair to ask it, but I
need to tell you both. The night of the graduation party I started
feeling really funny. I didn’t realize someone had spiked my
drink, and it came over me so gradually that I got lost in slow
increments. I’d been feeling this compelling need to talk to
Boone, even before the graduation party. I was so attracted to him. I
sorta built up this fantasy in my head of how it would be between us.
And when the X took control of me, I wanted to live that fantasy.
“Boone was
drinking heavily that night. I knew from rumors that he’d often
pass out in his truck.” I leaned forward and pressed my fingers
against my forehead. Neither Aubree nor River Pearl said anything.
Just waiting patiently for me to continue. “I went looking for
his truck. In my mind, I was just going to talk to him. Just talk.”
I pushed my hair out
of my face and sat back.
“He was
sleeping in his truck. Oh, God he looked beautiful, so beautiful. I
climbed up into the bed. I knelt there and just stared at him,
thinking that I wanted him to be the first guy I ever slept with.
Before, when I had those thoughts, I would shut them down. My guilt
and my control would take over. But those thoughts never went away.
And, the X gave them free rein. Then, I was touching him, was
compelled to touch him.”
“Oh, criminy,
Verity.”
I nodded. “I
gave my virginity to him, and he doesn’t even remember. But at
the time, he was so careful, so sweet and caring, and that made me
happy. Until I woke up and realized what I had done. I bolted and he
was still sleeping. I expected him to find me. To seek me out
afterwards, but he never did, I just thought he didn’t care. I
was just another conquest.”
“Boone’s
not like that,” Aubree said fiercely.
“I know that,
now. But I believed he had slipped me the X and I blamed him over and
over again. Blaming him helped me get through the past year.”
“It must have
been hard to realize that you’d been drugged and that you did
something that you regret,” Aubree said, giving me a
sympathetic look.
I bit my lip. “I
should regret it. Shouldn’t I? I was wicked.”