A Pact For Life (36 page)

On the Young family patio, dinner had officially started and the members were at their assigned places around the table. Well, everyone was there except for Jack who was still in his room in protest. As was customary, the food was forcefully mixed with politics, society's problems, and criticism of each other which left everyone bitter, yet full.

In between the democrats, republicans, blacks, browns, and 'the ways things used to be', the topic of conversation was Caitlyn and Jimmy's wedding.

“And I want a stretch Mercedes CL, and we'll have to make a list of songs for the DJ. There better not be Journey or U2 this time.” Caitlyn said as she ran down the checklist for her third 'special day.' “Oh, and Mom, if Jack is gonna be acting all weird, tell him he can stay home because I don't want him there.”

Terri was astonished. “Caitlyn! He's your brother. Of course he's going to be there. This wedding is for the whole family.”

The more they talked about the wedding, the more something stirred in Diana. Well, make that two things stirring. The first was the baby who was somersaulting without any concern for Diana's comfort. The second stirring thing was just as alive and broadly defined as the baby, but it required critical thinking rather than a placenta to survive and grow into something truly identifiable.

With all the wedding talk, Popa needed to chime in. “Third wedding, I tell you what. You outta go down to the courthouse. Get it taken care of there.”

“We're not doing that, Popa. You think I would ever get married in a courthouse? Only trashy people do that.” Caitlyn said as her collagen infused lips jiggled.

In Diana's head, two gears connected and started to turn while the rest of her family continued to argue.

I won't be married by the time the baby comes.

“25,000 dollars! For a Goddamn...”

“Vick!”

“Are you listening to this Terri!? 25,000 dollars for a wedding! Do you have any idea how much of a waste of money that is?”

“It's worth it!” Caitlyn yelled. “That's it! No more from either of you!”

Uncle Vick wouldn't back down to Caitlyn's threat. “All I want to know is, what are you gonna get from this wedding? The amount you're spending could be used for a car, or a down-payment on a house, or if you really feel like you have to spend this money all at once on something, how about a ridiculous vacation? You're turning all that down just for a few hours of partying?”

“Everyone needs to see how much we're in love!”

A third gear joined the other two in the great machine of Diana's idea.

I need Andrew around though, I can't raise the baby on my own.

Jimmy took a brave step into the conversation. “We can't show everyone we're in love for free?”

Caitlyn responded, “Absolutely not! Alright, everyone listen up! This is what people do! They don't go to the courthouse and they don't care how much a wedding costs! Everyone is already hired, the church is booked, I am having my day!”

“Babe, all I'm saying is that our wedding... it's not a big deal.”

It's not a big deal.

Jimmy might as well have spoken those words to Diana, for it was exactly what caused the final gear to snap into place. That was it. Three words, one contraction, a single letter, and a period repeated over and over in her head.

How would marriage change her life? She was experienced enough to know that she would keep her assets separate, so to the state, she would still be single. She was proud enough to keep her last name, so to the public, she would still be single. Plus, she was irreligious, so to God, she was non-existent. What was the reason for marriage then?
⁴⁶

The importance Diana had placed on getting married far outweighed how crucial marriage actually was for her life. Marriage was always something she felt she should have, but never thought about why. Now she knew. There was no answer for why. It's the question very few people ever think about, for if they did, they might come to the same conclusion as Diana. A conclusion, which repeated in Diana's head.

It's not a big deal.

Donald Dawkins placed his utensils and napkin in the now empty Styrofoam box. The meal, like his visit with Cale, was at an end.

“Well,” Donald said, followed by a long pause. “I suppose I should be going.”

“You don't want to stay the weekend?”

“I can't. The generals are just starting. You know how it is in election years.” Donald said and stood up. “Let me know how things go with Diana. I don't want to miss out on my grandchild's birth because you were afraid to talk to your great love.”

With the first smile he had all day, Cale said, “Please don't call her that.”

Donald shrugged his shoulders. “Alright alright, fair enough. Take it easy on the drinking too. I know I'm not the most credible person to tell you that, but you have people to live for.”

“You got it.”

“That's my boy,” Donald said as he walked over and grabbed Cale's hand in a half handshake, half high five. It was as close as they would get to a hug, and served its purpose just fine.

As Donald walked out the door, he told Cale, “God's speed,” and then was gone, stopping only once to say goodbye to the nurse.

Alone in the hospital, Cale closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

YOU SUCK

Since moving into her new house, 100% of Diana's screams, shouts, and cries occurred during sex, so the echo that had always existed was never noticed. She never heard the uhhhs, ohhhs, and ahhhs come back while cumming. It would take frustration, not ecstasy, to make the echo known.

In what became a daily exercise in the
Professional Relationship of Professionals
, Diana was on the phone with Andrew trying to arrange a time when they could see each other. So far, every possible date was bad. There was a meeting, or an appointment, or a million other work related things that demanded their time.

“I'm sorry, Diana, the hospital has me on call through the night, and the practice has a quarterly shareholder's meeting tomorrow at two tomorrow. Then there's my dictation too. I probably won't be able to get out until five at the earliest. How about I see you for lunch tomorrow?”

“I have a prenatal exam at noon, then a case review for some trust-funder who got a DUI. Why can't you be here now?” Diana pleaded.

'Be here now' reverberated off the walls, and back to Diana as she thought about what was worse – dealing with a twenty something Trustnafarian
⁴⁷
, or getting cold steel jammed into her vagina. She wasn't able to put that answer into words, but to speak for her, a variation of a biblical saying applied perfectly. Instead of
, it is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into the kingdom of God
, Diana's version was,
it is easier for a frigid speculum to get through the lips of the vulva than for a pregnant lawyer to get information from a stoner
.

“Why don't you reschedule your exam?” Andrew asked. As a doctor, he should've realized the foolishness of this request.

“Why should I reschedule? It'll only delay it one more day, and then I'll have to turn around and come back two weeks later anyway. I practically live at Lincoln's office as it is.”

“You know, Diana, maybe it's about time you cut back on work...”

Line. Destroyed. Annihilated. Ripped to pieces and burnt to ashes.

“Oh, don't lecture me on cutting back at work. The last time I checked, I've been doing fifty hours a week while you've been closer to eighty. The way I see it, you should be cutting back, not me.”

Andrew began to speak while 'not me' hollowly repeated throughout the house. “You know I can't do that. Think about it, Diana, your due date is only a month or so away, but you still work more than everyone else there. That's too much, especially since your job entails getting rich people out of problems. I'm working to save lives. There's no way I can take time off. These people need me.”

Line. Pissed on.

“So that's it!? Because your job is more important, that justifies you spending all your time at the hospital? So until you retire... oh, who am I kidding, you'll be at that hospital until you die.”

“Diana, calm down. You don't have to be upset.”

Andrew was wrong. Upset was the only thing Diana could be. She was achy, stiff, and her back felt like an accordion every time she stood. She was alone, and cold, and at that moment, every word she spoke had a ghostly repetition that reminded her that no one else was there.

“The last time I saw you was at my parent's, and that was what, six days ago!? Andrew, there has to be some sacrifices from both of us if we're gonna make this work. I hate this. I hate going to sleep by myself every night. I hate... this sucks.”

“Alright, I'll see what I can do, but you really need to consider going to part time, Diana.”

The way Andrew said that, Diana knew his sacrifice would mean he would spend the night more often, while her sacrifice would be a complete overhaul of her defining activity, her job.

“Diana? Are you still there?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Listen, I have to go see some patients, but I'll call later tonight. It would be great if you could reschedule your appointment tomorrow. I really want to see you.”

“It's been six days, Andrew.”

“I know. Things will get better. I promise. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Diana responded as if on auto-pilot. That was their first exchange of 'I love you's', and it was as good as a synonym for 'bye'.

Diana set the phone down, looked around her big, lifeless house, and let out a sigh. Less than a second later, the sigh echoed back.

The bus ride across town was a piece of cake, as was the short walk to Diana's house, but as Cale stood in front of the house that they chose together, the enormity of everything finally hit. In his confident high, Cale never considered the house.

A 'what if' scenario started to play, and Cale imagined a life where Diana never dumped him. He would have done the yard work, the picture hanging, furniture building, and in what would've been a spectacular failure, the electronics setup. He was supposed to be the man of this house.