A Pact For Life (35 page)

“Here, let me help you my dear,” Donald Dawkins said to the stunning, blond nurse as she came to take Cale's readings. Granted, his act of helping consisted of holding out his hand to help her up, but the effort was still appreciated with a blushing smile from the nurse half his age.

After she left, Donald returned to his position at Cale's side, and joked, “You know what might take your mind off Diana?” followed by a
ka-chik
sound and a head tilt that was clearly aimed at the nurse out in the hallway.

“I asked, already has a boyfriend,” Cale said in his still raspy voice.

“Hey, good thinking though. I always say the best way to get over heartbreak is with a beautiful woman.”

“Do you ever stop and realize that everything with you is fixed or solved by a beautiful woman?”

“Well, it's the truth.” Donald proudly said.

Cale looked out the window at the skyline of downtown Denver. The city had been
his
city for six years, and in that time, it gave him a coffee shop, several close friends, a not so close ex-girlfriend, and a baby on the way. All it asked in return was his creativity and happiness. He didn't see it as a fair trade, and decided to cut to the source of the problem. “I really need to leave this city.”

In what is one of the toughest things a parent can say to their child who lives across the country, Donald said, “You need to stay here until the baby is born. You can't just up and leave when the delivery is only, what, a month away?”

“Actually, it's closer to two months, but Diana doesn't need me around. She has someone new.”

“But he isn't the biological father. Like it or not, this baby is going to be significantly like you. You need to be around for support.”

“Diana has way more money than me. She doesn't need any support.”

“I'm not talking about money. What I mean is this child may have the same interests or personality you had when you were young. So who is better than you to make their childhood a happy one? You remember that time we took you to see Pink Floyd?”

“Yeah, that was probably the best concert of my life.”

“That was your mom's idea. She knew you would love it because she loved it. Yes, your proud father will admit you got your personality, and, I'm sad to say, most of your looks from your mother, but stuff like that is why you need to be in this child's life. They'll get structure and discipline from Diana, but they'll get creativity from you. Inside Diana's stomach, there might be a future great artist.”

“Don't say that.”

“Fine, I'm sorry. Inside Diana's stomach, there might be a sculptor or a painter or, God willing, a future senator.”

Cale had never thought about it before, but the thought of his child involved in the arts was an exciting possibility. It could be someone who thought like him, who would approach art the same way, but with their own unique life experiences, their art would be completely different, yet familiar at the same time.

Sculpting, or any creative pursuit for that matter, depends largely on life experiences. Characters are modeled after memorable friends, songs are written about great loves, movies scripted over wild nights. That's why interesting people make the best art. Their life blankets the canvas.

With that outlook, Cale felt the urge to be in the baby's life. To take custody on weekends or every other day or whatever he could work out with Diana. But now a new problem presented itself - Diana. How could he approach her when even the simple act of sending her a text felt harrowing? It wasn't a good harrow either. No, this was the type of harrow that resulted in a million different excuses in order to hold off the act. A harrow that prevented grown men from seeing their child.

The Young family den was silent except for the occasional sound of a pen on paper. It was father-daughter competitive crossword time.

Benjamin, in his usual cardigan and flannel sat and stared at his daughter. He had given up trying to fill in the blanks a few minutes earlier while Diana continued to furiously scribble down answers.

“Diana, can I ask you something?”

“One second, Daddy,” Diana said without looking up. After solving a few more lines, she put her pen down and announced, “Well I'm done. I hate these questions that depend on another answer.
Based off eleven across...
what does that even mean? So what did you want to ask me?”

“What's your plan for Cale and the baby?”

It was a question Diana often thought about. “I don't know, Daddy. I've tried to reach out to him, but he won't return my calls.”

“So things ended badly?”

“It was more sad than anything else. I can still picture him walking out without raising his head or saying a word.”

“Cale's a good guy. I'm sure he'll come around eventually.”

“Well when he's ready, he knows where to find me.”

“Also honey, one other thing. It's about Andrew. I know a cardiologist is a pretty demanding profession. Between your two schedules, will you have time for each other and the baby?”

This also was something Diana had questioned since the breakup. Andrew was always at the hospital, and when he wasn't, then she was at the office or in court. Most of their dinners took place in restaurants. Most of their conversations over the phone. And discreetly enough, most of their sex in their offices.

Still though, Diana had faith, not to mention determination. “Andrew is on call almost every day and I have, well, my thing, but we'll figure out a way to make it work.”

The sound of footsteps came from the hallway and Andrew's voice followed. “Hopefully I can cut back on the time I'm at the hospital,” he said as he entered the den. “Sorry, didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I've been asked to tell you guys that dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes.”

“Wow, that was quick. We might as well go before the yelling starts,” Diana said as Andrew approached their table.

As they got up to leave, Andrew looked down onto the crossword and said, “Do you guys mind if I work on this with you after dinner?”

Benjamin answered “Go right ahead. I think we've figured out everything we can.”

You could say there is a linear relationship between an exes' happiness and your misery, especially when it was them who ended the relationship. To put it in a rudimentary graph, it looks something like this:

What the hell, to take it one step further, here's the same graph with an extra line showing what happens when the ex is dating someone new:

Even if you wish the best for them, to witness their happiness after they kicked you out of their life is almost too much to handle. For their happiness should be your happiness as well, but it's not. It's nothing but a reminder that their life is so much better without you in it.

This is precisely why Cale could not see Diana.

“Here's what you need to do,” Donald said as he leaned forward as if to convey a deep secret to his son. “Take your phone and call her. Alright? Can you do that? Now, when she picks up...” Donald gave a dramatic pause before continuing, “I want you to get her back. That's it. Simple and easy.”

“That could be the dumbest advice you've ever given. Where's the flowers? Or showing up at her doorstep singing? Or writing hundreds of love letters? Anything more romantic than what you just said.”

Donald laughed. “In this situation, simple is all you need.”

Cale ran his Dad's advice through his head, and found it too daunting to enact. To press the call button on his phone might as well have been pressing the President's big red button
⁴⁵
.

“I can't do it.”

His voice rising, Donald said, “You can and you will. I like to think I did a pretty good job raising you, and no son of mine will be afraid to call a woman.”

It was the 'no son of mine' part that validated Cale's earlier embarrassment. All he could respond with was, “I'm sorry.”

They sat in a silence for ten seconds that felt like ten minutes, but then Donald started to laugh and shake his head toward the ground.

“What's so funny?”

“I can't believe I never realized this sooner. My son is in love with a woman.”

“You're wrong. She was just something to take my mind off the sculptures.”

“Oh that's nonsense. If she was just some random woman, then you wouldn't have a problem calling her.” Donald paused for a second to think. “This is good though, it reminds me of your mom and I when we first started to date.”

“What?”

Donald leaned in close and softly said, “You want to hear something that will shock you? Your mother was the only woman I've ever met that terrified me. I mean just flat out shaky knees. Up till then, I never had a problem talking to women, but your mother was different. It was so bad, I prepared talking points on note cards for our first couple of dates because she made me brainless. Fear is a good thing in young love.”

“How does this relate to me?”

“Because you need to go get her back. You know, I bet she doesn't even realize you feel this way about her.”

It occurred to Cale that maybe Diana didn't realize how he really felt, and if he told her, then she would see what a mistake she made. The only time he ever said he loved her was when he was wasted, and according to the laws of alcohol and dating, that doesn't count. The thought gave a +1 to his confidence, and combined with the painkillers the hospital provided, he inched ever so closer to being able to make contact.